Author: Emily S. Whitten

Emily S. Whitten: Mr. Antisocial Advisor

Whitten Art 130129In the bleak midwinter (or whatever you call this part of January; there’s snow on the ground and it’s super-cold here and the heat’s not working, is all I know) we could all use a little cheering up, and a reminder that there’s more to the world than ice and the howling wind.

In fact, there are people! Friendly, cheerful, sociable (and warm!) people, just waiting to be our friends or date us or possibly some combination of the two. But it can be easy to forget there are other people out there when it’s so cold all you want to do is stay inside huddled under a fleece blanket and a barskin cloak (what? That’s just me? Oh.). And when you do eventually venture out from under your space heater that you’ve hung directly above your bed (to accompany the ones on either side of it, of course), you may have forgotten a step or two in the dance of social niceties, which requires practice to maintain. That’s why I invited everyone’s favorite sunshine-y relationship advisor to stop by and do a guest appearance on my column!

…Okay, that’s not exactly what happened. Maybe I had to go out of town this past weekend, and I didn’t have a ton of time just lying around in which to share my usual deep insights into the human and geek psyche with you, and maybe Rorschach just happened to stop by right after receiving some letters from honest citizens in desperate need of some social advice, and maybe he had nothing better to do, all his cans of beans and sugar cubes being neatly stacked already and the weather keeping most people from committing any obvious crimes on the streets…and so maybe I suggested he take over my column this week for my own selfish reasons, e.g. so I could pack for my trip.

And maybe this is all actually my friend Viv’s fault, because she is the one who originally suggested the previous advice column which first brought us the never-ending gift of Rorschach sharing his valuable social insights.

Regardless! Here he is, ready to share his wisdom with the masses! Lucky masses.

Rorschach’s Advice Column: January 29, 2013

Arrived in Washington, D.C. for meeting of dedicated crime fighters, to find “dedicated” crime fighters cowering and shivering behind closed doors. Pathetic scum, lacking moral conviction to protect city in face of wind and moderate-to-light snowfall. Reduced to helpless, shut-in imbeciles by thin layer of white on roadways. This city would weep for its weak protectors, but knows they also whimper at sight of icy rain.

Only reason crime not rampant in streets tonight is that people of this city are weaker than mewling “crime fighters,” who patrol alleyways only on warmer days. Crime fighters afraid to fight crime with runny noses. Can’t brave slight discomfort for greater justice. Can’t see that all that is needed to defeat crime and cold is trench coat, scarf, fedora, and fists. All I had as I walked streets tonight.

Tonight, a man dated in D.C. Then wrote letter asking my advice. Have tried to stop misguided weak-willed inhabitants of city from sending letters begging my perspective on their lives as they wallow in frozen slurry of self-loathing and despair. Can’t. Not even by breaking thumbs. Tried this last week. Man with broken thumbs cried. Then asked if he should send flowers to angry girlfriend. Left in disgust.

A man dated tonight, and nobody cares. Not even me. Will answer letters anyway, though, as answering letters passes time until miscreant am lying in wait for leaves bar.

Letter #1

Dear Rorschach,

How do I know if this woman I’ve met is The Right One?

Thanks,

@Vitt311

Vitt,

Will answer question but then you must answer mine: were parents hippies? Who names child Vitt? Is that even name? Why does it contain numbers and symbols? Suspect an alias. Perhaps spy?

So. You went out. Probably to seedy bar. Bought drink. Talked to woman. Suddenly you discover Ms. Right. Convenient.

But she is not Ms. Right. Here is how I know: there is no Ms. Right. Relationships are farce. Also unimportant. All that matters is justice. And beans.

~RR~

P.S. Do not try to trace this response, spy; you will fail.

P.P.S. Do not turn around. I am standing behind you but do not wish you to see me yet. Not until I am ready.

Letter #2

Mr. Rorschach,

How does a hamster find Mr./Ms. Right?

Sincerely,

@bicyclefish

Fish on Bicycle:

Are you also spy? Do you know @Vitt311? Your name also gibberish and symbols. Possibly occult. Clearly is conspiracy. Will need to get to bottom of this. Hrm.

As for question: Rodents do not discriminate with mates. Can’t be discussing rodents. Must be code. Are “Hamsters” new street gang? Why have I not heard of them? Must investigate.

Well. If you are spy or miscreant gang member, there will never be a Mr./Ms. Right for you. You will always be alone. And probably in jail.

~RR~

P.S. If you are not miscreant (unlikely) see previous question for answer.

P.P.S. Also send me full name, and address of your dwelling, as all you have given in letter is gibberish name and P.O. Box. This is not sufficient. Will need to question you further about these “Hamsters.”

Letter #3

Dear Mr. Rorschach;

If you are a spy, is it okay to date another spy at a rival agency, under the assumption that hilarity will ensue? Same question, but for Glee coaches.

@BenjaminPFisher

Fishy Benjamin,

You claim to be a spy, yet use real name. Must be trap. Hrm.

Spies are not hilarious. Do not joke about spies. Or spy conspiracy. Which you are clearly part of.

Beginning to suspect advice column being used as spy trap to lure me in and pick off another costumed hero. Is obvious now, really. And Dreiberg called me paranoid.

Am done answering letters until have uncovered whole of spy ring out to get me. Will hunt you down, all of you, and exact justice for this persecution. Don’t bother to beg for mercy. There will be no compromise.

~RR~

P.S. If did use real name, you are very bad spy.

P.P.S. What is Glee coach? Is this spy code? Sounds leftist.

•     •     •     •     •

Hey guys, it’s Emily! So…I just got back and Mike showed me the results of my latest experiment with guest writers. Uh…yeah, maybe inviting Rorschach over to play wasn’t such a good idea. But I don’t have time to write something new at this late date, so…sorry? And he didn’t really mean it, about the spy thing. And hunting people down. Not really. I don’t think. Um.

…Until next time, Servo Lectio?

P.S. I really am sorry.

P.P.S. I hope he’s not standing behind anyone right now.

WEDNESDAY: Mike Gold And Alfred Pennyworth’s Guns

Emily S. Whitten: Geeklitism, Part II

Whitten Art 130122A couple of weeks ago, I talked about geeklitism in fandom, with geeklitism being defined as “claiming you’re a ‘real geek’ and other people aren’t; claiming you’re the superior geek.” I gave a few illustrations of common types of geeklitists I have come across (and find generally obnoxious). I was, yes, a little sarcastic about the way they behave, because I think it’s both ridiculous and harmful. But even though I don’t agree with their attitude, I still understand that they are, as we say, “One of us! One of ussss!” – in the sense that if we weren’t all fans of geeky things, we wouldn’t even be talking about this. We are, by dint of being interested in genre fandoms, all part of the same group; even if geeklitists would argue that point.

I also believe that people with these attitudes, no matter how they might alienate people or make others feel bad by what they say, aren’t purposely trying to be mean or hurtful. They don’t realize what their words say about them, or how they’re perceived by those they try to negate. Why not? Well, let’s go back to the four types of geeklitists I identified last week, with those Geek Badges they wave so proud and high; and see if we can look beyond the attitude to understand what they’re really saying; something they may not have tried to do themselves. Let’s also look at why these attitudes are unhelpful or hurtful to others.

Type 1: The Bullied Geek Badge of Experience

The attitude:

“As a child (and possibly into adulthood), I was bullied, belittled, or ostracized by others in my peer group because of my genre interests. If you didn’t have my exact experiences, you can’t understand or be part of my group.”

What they are really saying:

“I went through these negative experiences and survived. These experiences made me a stronger person and helped me build my identity, and if you haven’t experienced that, you can’t understand what I went through or what my interests mean to me. I perceive that I suffered unfairly because of the things I loved, but I didn’t give up on them. Claiming your place in this fandom falsely indicates to me and others in this group that you are also someone with that level of commitment, when you were not. This takes away the sense of identity I retain from my experiences, and the value of my integrity or bravery in sticking up for what I loved in the face of adversity. Also, because I feel that my treatment was unfair, I may not trust you, as someone who didn’t share my experiences, to be someone who won’t persecute me in the future. I am afraid to let you in to the group in case you are like the people who were mean to me in the past.”

Why this attitude is not helpful/is hurtful:

For one, it assumes things about the other people that the geeklitist couldn’t possibly know. It assumes they didn’t have similar experiences, or other experiences that were just as important and valuable to their identities. It negates those experiences by assuming their nonexistence, and/or makes people have to defend themselves by opening up and sharing possibly painful parts of their own history that they wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing if their identities had not been challenged. For another, even if other people didn’t have the experiences of the geeklitist, it assumes they are not intelligent or emotionally advanced enough to empathize anyway, and also that their lack of that experience makes them people of lesser quality. It also may assume they are untrustworthy or bullies when they are not. It invalidates their importance as whole people in their own right by claiming the past experience of the geeklitist to be a necessary part of true character development.

Type 2: The Encyclopedia Geek Badge of Intelligence

The attitude:

“I know more about this geek topic and fandom than you do. If you don’t know the things I know, you can’t be part of my group.”

What they are really saying:

“I have invested a lot of time in absorbing and learning about my genre loves and fandoms and feel that I now know a lot about it, which proves that I am a true fan. If you know less than I do and claim to be in the same group, that means that you are saying you can achieve the same thing I did with less knowledge and time spent on this passion/hobby/lifestyle. You are also saying that anybody can be a part of a group that I worked hard to belong in. This threatens or negates my achievements, knowledge, or devotion.”

Why this attitude is not helpful/is hurtful:

For one, the geeklitist is calling other people less knowledgeable, which is always insulting and frequently inaccurate. The geeklitist is challenging the achievements and determination or devotion of other people, while also indicating that their interests and achievements (whatever they may be) are less objectively important than those of the geeklitist. The geeklitist is belittling others’ dedication, intelligence, and sense of self based on the tastes and choices that the geeklitist values, rather than the idea that other interests can be just as valuable to others, and just as objectively important.

Type 3: The Discovery Geek Badge of Priority

The attitude: I have known about this fandom since the day it came to be. You just got here. You didn’t recognize the value of this when it first appeared, and haven’t put in the time and effort I have to appreciate or preserve it. You aren’t a true fan like me.

What they are really saying:

“I feel a deep kinship to this fandom because I’ve been in it since day one, which gives me a sense of belonging and being special. (And possibly: I am so special here that sometimes even other fans recognize how important I am to this fandom.) I appreciated it when others didn’t, which means I have a finer ability to recognize quality than the masses. I put effort into helping to keep this going, and (possibly) sometimes even the famous people involved have expressed their thanks at my actions. This makes me feel like a contributor and person of value. If you come to my group and overshadow my sense of value, all of the positive personal qualities I associate with my involvement in this fandom are threatened. You are threatening my identity.”

Why this attitude is not helpful/is hurtful:

The geeklitist is using a false assumption that the amount of time or energy spent focused on something is equal to the devotion someone might feel to it, and that the priority of those who “came first” somehow increases the value of their contributions. By doing so, he or she is negating the value of others’ experiences, actions, and feelings in something that they may care just as much about. The geeklitist is attacking others’ identities by defending his or her own.

Type 4: The Misogyny Geek Badge of Exclusion

The attitude:

“Girls/Women can’t be geeks like boys/men are. They do not truly understand the value or lore of these fandoms/this lifestyle. They can’t be a part of it. It’s our territory.”

What they are really saying: “I built my masculine identity in part (or whole) on geekdom; possibly to the exclusion of more typical “masculine” pursuits that I didn’t have interest in or wasn’t good at. Since I broke out of the stereotypical male mold to do this, I have to feel that I am still part of a masculine group to retain that masculine identity. If females try to enter this group, my masculinity is threatened.”

What they also may be saying in some cases, when this is combined with Type 1:

“Some females gave me a hard time about my interests at some point in time, because they didn’t fit with what was expected of males. I resent this, because it hurt my sense of my own masculinity.(Or) females have it easier than I do. If they want to be geeks (read genre books, engage in less physical forms of activity, etc.) no one cares, because the expectations put on females are not the same as those put on males. I resent this. Because females couldn’t possibly have had the experience I did, they will never understand what it is to be a geek. When they claim they do, it threatens my masculinity.”

Why this attitude is not helpful/is hurtful:

This attitude devalues an entire half (or more than half) of humanity by indicating that due to different assumed experiences and pressures, no matter what qualities or experiences females may have or have had, they will never “measure up” to what males experienced or can understand. It is, essentially, saying that females are lesser people – in intelligence, knowledge, empathy, identity, and much more. It also assumes that the pressures or stereotypes put on females were not just as difficult to deal with as those put on males. It is again based on false assumptions, and challenges and negates a lifetime of experiences and a person’s identity. It also puts females on the defensive in fandom, and perpetuates an exclusionary dynamic by making them constantly feel unwelcome and challenged in their own areas of interest. This can result in less future effort by females to be accepted as part of the group – which doesn’t benefit anyone in the end.

When examining geeklitism in light of the deconstruction above, maybe it’s easier to see why these attitudes are so toxic to our beloved fandoms, and identify ways to weed them out of our own behavior (because let’s be honest, we’ve probably all been guilty of at least a shade of geeklitism at some point, even if it was fleeting). Maybe we can recognize that we all got picked on at some point for our interests; and that everyone has their own special areas of knowledge that they are proud of; and that everyone was part of the “discovery” group for at least one fandom or interest (or if they weren’t, it doesn’t make them less devoted to it); and that women are equals and people too (this one should not be hard to do, but shockingly, it still is for a surprising number of men).

And most of all, maybe we can all try to consciously remember that someone else being good at something, or a fan of something, or part of something, does not have to threaten our own sense of identity and belonging; and that by including rather than excluding others with shared interests, we can actually continue to build and grow the identities we are so protective of into something to really be proud of: the identities of people who know the value of sharing what they love, who can continue to learn and become more well-rounded people, and who can rejoice in the uniqueness of others as much as we do in our own.

So instead of giving in to the impulse to be elitist jerks when our geek identities are threatened, let’s try instead to, in the words of the great Bill S. Preston, Esq., “Be excellent to each other.”

And until next time, Servo Lectio!

TUESDAY AFTERNOON: Michael Davis

WEDNESDAY MORNING: Mike Gold

Emily S. Whitten: 1600 Penn Putting the Personal Before Politics

Whitten Art 130115There’s a lot to love about Washington, D.C., but let’s be honest: living in such a political town it can be easy to get tired of politics. Rather like the way I wasn’t big into watching legal shows while in law school, my first inclination, having lived in the D.C. area for going on ten years now, surrounded by politicians and government buildings and workers, wouldn’t necessarily be to watch a show about the President.

But when I saw the description for 1600 Penn in a media event alert in The National Press Club newsletter a couple of weeks ago, and then saw that Bill Pullman would be playing the President in this NBC show about the First Family in the White House, I knew I’d have to give it a try. I mean, come on – Pullman was a win last time he was President (not to mention his roles in two favorite movies of mine, Spaceballs and While You Were Sleeping), even before he made that speech on the airstrip. The scene where he’s looking after his young daughter in the White House in Independence Day has always been a favorite, as one of the moments that adds heart to an all-out alien invasion movie full of explosions.

As I’ve discovered after watching the pilot for 1600 Penn and after a Q&A with the cast and producers of the show, 1600 Penn may have a slightly different kind of President, but its goal is also to be full of heart. The show is premised around “an average American family living under one big roof as the nation’s First Family and dealing with everyday struggles inside the Oval Office,” and thus far, I think it delivers reasonably well.

I’m always wary of reviewing any show based on just the pilot (my preference being to give a show two or three episodes to make an impression), but after a half-hour of President Gilchrist and co., I can at least say that I would definitely watch again. From the first episode, the show has a warmth and humor to it that catches my interest, even if it occasionally struggles to find a balance between the seriousness of politics and wackiness of comedy. Though there are some moments of fun situational comedy, where it does best is when it finds humor in the deeper dilemmas (and frequent awkwardness) of raising a family in such an unusual situation as this.

It also finds humor in the skill of its cast members, notably co-creator Josh Gad, who plays blundering oldest son Skip. From the publicity photos and description, I had misgivings about Josh’s character at first. Such a character could easily go too far and either steal or ruin the show; but as written and played here, thus far there’s a balance of good-hearted sweetness and warmth to the ineptness (which is apparently one of Josh’s hallmarks) that actually plays well. It seems it will work to “build the show” around Josh, as the creators have intended, as long as his character doesn’t lose that balance.

Jenna Elfman, who plays the somehow believably competent but also zany stepmom and First Lady Emily Gilchrist, also acquits herself well in the pilot, managing to humorously juggle several pieces of a problem in a way that just barely keeps it together so it all works out in the end. Bill Pullman also delivers, but the onus of trying to play a believable President in a situational comedy doesn’t yet seem to give him many of the humorous moments we know he can do so well; although the heart is there, and he does have one quiet little comedic line with press secretary Marshall Malloy that is perfectly done.

Yet one thing I like about the show so far is that it is somewhat believable – and that may be due to the fact that co-creator and executive producer Jon Lovett served as an Obama speech-writer (and joke-writer) for three years prior to leaving the White House for full-time comedy writing. Joined by Gad, Jason Winer, and Mike Royce, he’s created a show that’s an amalgam of that reality and the wacky-but-well-meaning world that Josh Gad’s characters generally inhabit. According to Lovett, he always wanted to write a comedy, but when he left the White House, he wanted that comedy to be about “anything but the White House.” As if on cue, Gad and Winer approached him about…a comedy set in the White House. But after all, they do say to write what you know, and after Winer explained the concept to him, Lovett says “we got so excited about the ideas and stories and twists we could come up with for a show centered around the Oval Office, the world’s most famous home office. After all,” Lovett says, “President Obama says all the time that one of his favorite things about the White House is that he gets to ‘live above the store,’” and the setting offers a lot of potential for unique approaches.

While Lovett has some prior experience with what life at the White House is like, to make the show more authentic he spent time researching what family drama would look like “under the prism of a twenty-four hour news cycle,” studying how this has played out in previous administrations. Other show members also prepared in various ways. Jenna Elfman, to get ready for her role as First Lady, read about former First Ladies, looking for a common denominator or standard for embodying the role – and discovered that there really isn’t one, as each First Lady makes her own mark on the office. Elfman expressed admiration during the Q&A for current First Lady Michelle Obama, and her “energy and participation and warmth, and her contributions to health…and her role as a mother.” She also cited the feisty and determined Eleanor Roosevelt as a past First Lady she admires.

Bill Pullman, in getting into his role, apparently had some difficulties leaving it behind on the set, occasionally citing his (fictitious) military history at home and saying, “nobody get up yet!” while he was sitting down. (There’s a scene in the pilot in which the President is meeting with his military advisors and, properly, they only stand after he has stood up to leave.) Martha MacIsaac, who plays 22-year-old daughter Becca, and is discovered to be (unmarried but) pregnant in the pilot, had a sister who was also unmarried and pregnant at around the same age, so drew from that in her acting.

The creators of the show discussed other instances in which they drew from their own experiences, taking “a kernel of truth from our lives and seeing how that takes on new life in the dynamic of this family.” One example given is of an upcoming episode in which Emily, as a former political consultant who was instrumental in the President’s rise to the White House, gets carried away with “helping” her youngest stepson Xander as he runs in a middle school election. (And in answer to my question at the press event, upcoming episodes will feature a further look into what led to the President and family getting to the White House, which is definitely a storyline I’d find interesting.)

What’s sort of fascinating about listening to the cast and producers talk about this show is how much they are aiming to root this in what it would “really” be like for these characters to be the First Family; while the other goal of the show is, of course, to entertain and amuse. It would be so easy for a premise like this to lose its integrity for a quick laugh or just-slightly-too-unbelievable premise, or to be just a tad too serious for the audience to really get behind as a fun show to keep watching. However, as it stands from the pilot and plot examples from upcoming episodes (including one in which Josh’s character Skip engages in discussions with protestors outside of the White House, with predictably humorous and unexpected results), it looks like this show might just succeed in hitting its mark. I’m planning to tune in to find out if it does.

1600 Penn airs Thursdays from 9:30 – 10:00 on NBC. Give it a watch!

And until next time, Servo Lectio!

TUESDAY AFTERNOON: Michael Davis

WEDNESDAY MORNING: Mike Gold

Emily S. Whitten: Geeklitism – Part I

Whitten Art 130108I think tomorrow I’ll call up Merriam-Webster and suggest a new word for their dictionary. That word? Geeklitism. (Not to be confused with Geekleetist, which posts fun stuff).

It should be in the dictionary, because it certainly is a thing that exists. But how would I suggest they define it? Damned if I know, although I guess the short version could be: “claiming you’re a ‘real geek’ and other people aren’t; claiming you’re the superior geek.” But really, the various aspects of both this attitude and of being a “geek” generally are so broad that I’m not sure they can be encompassed in a dictionary definition.

The reason for this, and the funny thing about “being a geek,” is that it’s a different experience for everyone. For instance, I’ve been a geek probably all of my life; but I don’t know that I ever really knew it until adulthood, when, thanks to the increased ease of finding like-minded people via the internet, it suddenly turned out it wasn’t such a bad thing to be. As far as I recall, no one called me a geek growing up. I had no idea I was part of this mysterious group of people called “geeks.”

“What??” I can hear a geeklitist out there crying out in triumph. “No one called you a geek? That must mean that you didn’t get bullied by the “cool kids” in school! Haha! You can’t understand the suffering and hardships that I went through in my formative years because of my love of stories about hobbits! You are not a real geek like me!” (This is the kind of thing geeklitists say, don’t you know. Sometimes they also add, “And all the girls made fun of me!! I’ve never gotten over that! My life was so hard!”)

But that’s not really what I said, is it? Of course I got picked on. Most kids do. For instance, when I was in first grade and all the cool kids in my new school had moved on to jeans or whatever was in fashion, my mom, bless her, still dressed me in cutesy pastel sweatsuits with big decorative (but pointless) buttons and bows on them. It follows that one of my first memories of my new school is three girls in my class making fun of my clothes on the playground – at which point I probably said something mean.

I was a well-read little child, who could creatively insult other children with words that none of us really knew the meaning of; but they sounded like insults, so it all worked out. For example, at some point in my primary school years, one of the biggest insults I remember using was, “You’re corroded!” (Which makes no sense under the real definition but sounds like maybe you have a gross skin condition?) My favorite of the weird words I personally transmogrified into an insult when young was “You’re a transubstantiationalist!” No one else had any idea what it meant, but I managed to convince the kids I was using it on that it was a really horrible thing to be. Mwahaha. But I digress. Anyway, at that point, we all got in a fight. Like a physical fight, of the kicking and punching and hair and decorative bow-pulling variety. Yowch.

“Whatever!” the geeklitist is saying. “That’s not what I meant. That’s just fashion. You were only a geek if you were ostracized because of your offbeat hobbies and/or love of genre fiction as a child! That’s what makes you a real geek like me.” Well, yes. I was that, too. I used to sit by myself at lunch and read giant books that were too “old” for me, like Clan of the Cave Bear and The Mists of Avalon, propped up in front of me as I ate with painful slowness (something else for which I was occasionally teased, but which turns out to be the healthy way to eat. Take that!). I’d walk down the school halls reading A Swiftly Tilting Planet or maybe The Deed of Paksenarrion without looking up (during which I developed a great sixth sense for not running into people while looking down, which is very handy these days when texting while walking to work).

I was definitely called weird, and often, annoying (because I used big words and talked a lot) more times than I can count. I engaged in some geek activities that probably would have been thought cool by at least the little boys in my class, like watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and X-Men cartoons, but I never realized that, because at that point in my life, boys had cooties. (Of course.) I’m not saying I didn’t have friends; I did, and they were a lot of fun. But I also got made fun of; and as far as I knew, most of my friends were not actually interested in The Lord of the Rings or Batman: The Animated Series. I don’t even know that I ever thought to ask most of them.(Or if I did, and received blank stares, I probably never brought it up again. This is why I’d never make a good Whedonvangelist, another word I’ve decided should be in the dictionary.)

Those were the sorts of things I often enjoyed alone, and didn’t really talk about that much, and that was fine. I knew (from others telling me, repeatedly) that I was a weird child, and I guess I just kind of assumed that was how life was and would continue to be for me – having some interests that nobody around me shared. Of course, that feeling of being alone in one’s interests is often cited as part of the experience of geekdom; and of course, in truth, lots of other people also had those interests; I just hadn’t discovered them yet. But I guess that’s all part of being a geek.

“Ahaha!” an entirely different brand of geeklitist is chortling. “But none of that matters! That’s just kid stuff! You’re not a real geek like me unless you can list, right this minute, in reverse alphabetical order, every superhero who turned out to be a Skrull during Secret Invasion! And until you can name at least three obscure continuity errors in [my favorite comics character’s] ongoing storyline! And unless you can tell me your three favorite fighting tactics for the video game character whose costume you are now wearing!” But, second brand of geeklitist…the water is wide, and the world is large, and I might like a different character than you do, or I might focus on something for different reasons than you do. Are you saying your viewpoint and favorite genre things and factoids are inherently better and geekier than mine, and are the only things that can bestow upon all of us admission into the uber-exclusive society of geekdom, just because they are yours? …Well, yes, yes you are, and that’s pretty self-centered. We can all be geeks in our own ways, with our own specific areas of interest and knowledge. Right?

“No no,” chides another, lone geeklitist, standing apart with one brow raised and pointing a finger at each of us in turn. “You will never, ever be a real geek, because you didn’t watch Firefly until it came out on DVD! You only like the newest Doctor Who! You never participated in the drive to keep Chuck on the air via purchasing mounds of Subway sandwiches. You’ll never be a real geek, not any of you, because (cue dramatic music and Iwo Jima flag-raising reenactment) I was here first, and I claim this geekdom in the name of Geekmoria! It’s mine, all miiiiine!!!!!”

…What? No, really, what? That’s just asinine.

“…”

“…”

“Well…maybe,” says the lone geeklitist doubtfully. “But I was here first.”

How do you know, lone geeklitist? Did you turn on your TV to a new show before anyone else in the entire world? Acquire an ARC of the first book in a now-beloved series? Hold in your excited hands the very first copy of the very first appearance of a comic book character? And even if you did…why does that give you any more claim to an appreciation of it than anyone else? Why does timing somehow make you more passionate about your geekdom than all the other geeks?

“…?”

Exactly.

So, any other geeklitists out there want to make a stand about how they’re the real geeks? I just ask because I don’t like to exclude people, although I realize the irony of saying that to you, geeklitists.

…

…

I’m hearing a lot of silence out there. Guess I’ll just wrap this u–what? I’m sorry? What did you say?

A chorus of low, angry, guttural voices rises from the deep to repeat itself, as one last group of geeklitists has its say:

You can’t be a real geek! You’re a girrrrrrrl!!

Oh, seriously. Shut up already.

And until next time, Servo Lectio!

TUESDAY AFTERNOON: Michael Davis Rises!

WEDNESDAY MORNING: Mike Gold Laughs!

 

Emily S. Whitten: My Twelve Vows of New Year’s

Whitten Art 120101As of today, it is officially 2013; and there’s nothing we can do about that, so we may as well enjoy it!

There’s nothing like a song to ring in the new year, and nothing like some resolutions (that may or may not be kept) to start that year off right. So join me, won’t you, in singing the geekiest song of New Year’s Resolutions that ever you will see, i.e. My Twelve Vows of New Year’s. I think you all know the tune. It’s similar to that silly old thing about the partridge and the pear and the damsels in distress or whatever.

Ready? Here we go!

My Twelve Vows of New Year’s

On the first day of this year,
my New Year’s vow will be:
To book my flight for SDCC! Fn1

On the second day of this year,
my New Year’s vow will be:
sell on Etsy, Fn2
And to book my flight for SDCC!

On the third day of this year,
my New Year’s vow will be:
Watch Arrow, Fn3
sell on Etsy,
And to book my flight for SDCC!

On the fourth day of this year,
my New Year’s vow will be:
sort my Deadpool, Fn4
Watch Arrow,
sell on Etsy,
And to book my flight for SDCC!

On the fifth day of this year,
my New Year’s vow will be:
Beat Fallout 3, Fn5
sort my Deadpool,
Watch Arrow,
sell on Etsy,
And to book my flight for SDCC!

On the sixth day of this year,
my New Year’s vow will be:
get my subscriptions, Fn6
Beat Fallout 3,
sort my Deadpool,
Watch Arrow,
sell on Etsy,
And to book my flight for SDCC!

On the seventh day of this year,
my New Year’s vow will be:
write a new webcomic, Fn7
get my subscriptions,
Beat Fallout 3,
sort my Deadpool,
Watch Arrow,
sell on Etsy,
And to book my flight for SDCC!

On the eighth day of this year,
my New Year’s vow will be:
launch our Kickstarter, Fn8
write a new webcomic,
get my subscriptions,
Beat Fallout 3,
sort my Deadpool,
Watch Arrow,
sell on Etsy,
And to book my flight for SDCC!

On the ninth day of this year,
my New Year’s vow will be:
make my next costume, Fn9
launch our Kickstarter,
write a new webcomic,
get my subscriptions,
Beat Fallout 3,
sort my Deadpool,
Watch Arrow,
sell on Etsy,
And to book my flight for SDCC!

On the tenth day of this year,
my New Year’s vow will be:
don’t buy more variants, Fn10
make my next costume,
launch our Kickstarter,
write a new webcomic,
get my subscriptions,
Beat Fallout 3,
sort my Deadpool,
Watch Arrow,
sell on Etsy,
And to book my flight for SDCC!

On the eleventh day of this year,
my New Year’s vow will be:
post a serious column, Fn11
don’t buy more variants,
make my next costume,
launch our Kickstarter,
write a new webcomic,
get my subscriptions,
Beat Fallout 3,
sort my Deadpool,
Watch Arrow,
sell on Etsy,
And to book my flight for SDCC!

On the twelfth day of this year,
my New Year’s vow will be:
read my new comics, Fn12
post a serious column,
don’t buy more variants,
make my next costume,
launch our Kickstarter,
write a new webcomic,
get my subscriptions,
Beat Fallout 3,
sort my Deadpool,
Watch Arrow,
sell on Etsy,
And to book my flight for SDCC!!!

Thanks for singing along! Wishing everyone the very happiest and geekiest of new years; and until next time: Servo Lectio!

Fn 1:  Seriously, I am finally going to go this year, I swear. I’m so excited!

Fn 2:  I want to open a store in which I sell tiny, adorkable, possibly wearable geekery made of clay.

Fn 3:  I always seem to be one episode behind. How does this keep happening?? I blame Deathstroke.

Fn 4:  How did everything get all out of order and stuff?? I swear I used to have the whole collection arranged by date!

Fn 5:  Seriously, I have owned this game for how long now and never played it? It came out in 2008! What is wrong with me??

Fn 6:  My poor local comics shop owner recently mailed me a stack of my subscription comics because it takes me so long to get around to visiting the store. It’s not that I don’t want them right away. But I don’t have a car and the store’s a 20 minute walk from the Metro!! That’s like it being in the middle of the ocean or something.

Fn 7:  Probably while on the Metro. That’s where I write most of my webcomic scripts.

Fn 8:  For the new comic Ben Fisher and I are writing! It’s going to be amazing! And full of hamsters. Sooooo many hamsters.

Fn 9:  I have an idea for DragonCon that is going take forever. But it will be magical.

Fn 10: I can’t help myself – the Deadpool Does Memes variant covers are Just. So. Great. Gangnam Styyyyyle!!

Fn 11: But really. This was fun too, right? Just you wait; next time I’ll do iambic pentameter.

Fn 12: The pile, it is large. So very, very large.

TUESDAY AFTERNOON: Michael Davis

WEDNESDAY MORNING: Mike Gold

Emily S. Whitten: Another Day, Another…Death Threat?!

We’ve talked about being disrespectful of the dead because you don’t like their creative work. Now let’s talk about being disrespectful to the living.

As has been reported elsewhere, some pages from Dan Slott’s Amazing Spider-Man #700 have been leaked to the Internet prior to its December 26 (tomorrow!) release date, including the big conclusion to the current plotline that fans have been speculating about. Despite this being its own unfortunate situation (of spoiling a story conclusion Slott has spent a slew of issues building up), that’s not what I want to focus on.

As it turns out, the spoilered ending appears to drastically change the status quo of the Spider-Man story. This is not the first time that’s happened in comics or anything (not even the first time in Spider-Man, as I’m sure we all remember (hello, Clone Saga and One More Day!). But this particular change, which Slott knew would bring controversy, has drawn a huge amount of venom, and all of it is being heaped on Slott’s head – in many cases, in the form of death threats.

Death threats. Against a writer of fiction. About a fictional character. Whom he has been writing to great acclaim for quite a while now. People, I think we need to step back and think about our priorities and our behavior for a minute, here.

I can understand disliking the work of a writer who takes on an already beloved character and then does something unexpected with him or her (hello, certain Deadpool writers). I can also understand liking a writer’s work but not liking the turns they decide to have a story take. I can even understand taking to the Internet to discuss your unhappiness with the whole situation. What I can’t understand is threatening to physically harm someone because they wrote some words (or drew some pictures) you didn’t like. That is just not okay, and even if the people making the threats are being facetious (and some of them may not be, which is scary), that sort of behavior encourages an acceptance of a casual attitude towards violence, that, especially with the recent tragedies this year, should certainly be discouraged.

Look, I love comics just as much as anyone out there. I get invested in the characters and the stories too. I might get upset, or even stop reading a series, because they’ve changed the direction and I don’t like the result. And that’s A-OK. As readers, it is our prerogative to stop reading a comic if we no longer enjoy it, and it’s also one good way to show our dislike of the current direction of a story, since the companies pay attention to sales data. And as readers, it’s also fine to express our unhappiness in public forums, and can even influence further changes in direction, as these companies also tend to take note of the aggregate level of satisfaction we the readers are expressing about story direction. We are actually lucky in that way; it’s a pretty special thing to know that our opinions on a work of fiction might actually mean something to the future of that fiction. So hooray for us, consumers of a medium that, uniquely, tends to listen to its consumers sometimes and adjust its story accordingly. That’s cool.

What’s not cool is forgetting that this is a creative medium and a fictional world, produced by real people without whom it would not exist and who deserve our consideration as fellow human beings. What’s also not cool is getting so involved in hatred for a storyline that you forget what comics are – a series of stories that, by their very nature, must change and adjust with the times, and to keep the series from stagnating; a fate which to my view would be worse than a change in the status quo. The plots of ongoing comics will inevitably include some crazy stories like the Punisher turning into Frankenstein, or people making a literal deal with the devil (or demon) which makes them forget they were married and brings other people back to life. That’s actually part of the fun and wonder that is encompassed by the medium – that writers can do that kind of stuff (whether it turns out well or not) and then do something else, and then something else – and the story keeps changing, even when the fundamentals (generally) remain the same.

In this instance, I doubt the current turn of events will remain in place forever… and even if it did, well; would it really be so bad? Maybe it would. Maybe it wouldn’t. We don’t know, because the rest of this story hasn’t been written yet. It may turn out to be an amazing story. And if it doesn’t; well, then in time, it may be replaced by something better. Either way, it’s kind of how comics work, and it’s not worth threatening to harm a real, living, breathing person.

Slott has said that he’s taking the threats to his person seriously, and I’m glad. But I’m sad for the fact that he has to do that. Imagine living in that situation for a minute – being a known entity, with your picture out there for all to see, and knowing that more than one stranger out there has expressed the desire to hurt you, and could possibly do so. That’s a terrible and undeserved thing for someone to have to deal with. He shouldn’t have to be worrying about that, especially in the midst of what is probably some well-deserved time off for the winter holidays.

I didn’t realize when I started writing this piece that it would happen to fall on Christmas, but I find it apropos at a time when we are supposed to be experiencing the joy of the holidays and expressing goodwill towards our fellow people, to be posting this request to comic fans at large, and particularly to those who have been taking their fandom much too seriously lately:

Let’s keep remembering, as a community, that comics are a wonderful thing, created by wonderful people, and that those people deserve our respect and consideration as fellow human beings.

Oh, and one more thing: let’s remember that real people are more important than fiction. And not threaten to harm them, because that is terrible.

Thank you.

And now, all that remains as the year draws to a close is to wish everyone out there a Merry Christmas! Or a Happy Hanukkah! Or a happy holiday of whatever sort you may celebrate!

And until next time, be kind to each other, and Servo Lectio!

TUESDAY AFTERNOON: Michael Davis

WEDNESDAY MORNING: Mike Gold

 

Emily S. Whitten: The Hobbit – There Again, But Not Back Just Yet…

I’m sure it will shock no one to learn that I went to see the midnight showing of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey last Thursday. And despite being a tad bit (okay a lot bit) tired at work the next day, it was great fun. I don’t do that many midnight showings (seeing as how many of them land on weekdays) but when I do, I definitely experience that extra little thrill of being amongst the first to see something new, and of sitting in a movie theater with a bunch of friends in the wee small hours when by all rights, we should all be in bed.

Along with the general excitement of it all, I’ve been looking forward to seeing The Hobbit movie for seemingly forever now, ever since it was first announced (and even after they announced that it would now be three movies (!!)). I first read the novel in fourth grade English, where it was one of our assigned reading books. Looking back, I’m pretty impressed that our teacher managed to inject it into the curriculum. At the time, I vaguely recall having the feeling, in that childhood my-spider-sense-is-tingling way of feeling adult tension in the air, that this was some sort of tiny act of rebellion on her part against the mostly very sensible curriculum of books we were reading (many of which were also great, although whoever decided to include Dear Mr. Henshaw will not be getting my thanks anytime soon. Yawn). But my English teacher, bless her, decided that reading a fantasy adventure story, and a probably challenging one for that age group, was an important part of our childhood development; and so it was.

Many moons later, the story – in which the hobbit Bilbo Baggins joins the wizard Gandalf and thirteen dwarves in a quest to reclaim the dwarves’ homeland – is just as fun and full of adventure as it was then; but how does it translate to the big screen? Lucky for us, Peter Jackson has endeavored to find out. Jackson is, if you’ve been hiding under a rock somewhere, the mastermind behind The Lord of the Rings movie trilogy, one of the most amazing and epic motion picture trilogies of all time (as well as the highest grossing worldwide). That trilogy, especially in the extended edition, is both a spectacular adaptation of Tolkien’s story, and a moving and cohesive collection in its own right. It’s also a serious and dark story, and despite the warmth and occasional humor of the character interactions, pretty intense from start to finish. The Hobbit is a slightly different kettle of fish.

Tolkien wrote The Hobbit first, and as more of a children’s story; whereas by the time he penned The Lord of the Rings, he had developed both his world and his style into something more epic and cohesive than his original idea (and, in fact, as he wrote LoTR he went back and added bits to The Hobbit that tied the two together more closely). The story does get darker as it progresses (about when the dwarves arrive in Laketown), but overall, it is still lighter, and smaller in scope, than the trilogy.

(Warning: Possible Movie Spoilers Ahead, although it’s not like most of you don’t know the story already.)

The movie follows the book in that sense. While there is plenty of action and danger, I found myself smiling or laughing a surprising number of times throughout the first act of The Hobbit (i.e. An Unexpected Journey, which is all we shall see of the story until December of next year, when part two of three comes out). In part, that’s thanks to Martin Freeman, who has wonderful comic timing and does an excellent job as the younger Bilbo, who is by times amusingly befuddled or subtly, wryly humorous. There is also a fair bit of humor in some of the dwarf characters and in Ian McKellen’s Gandalf, who is a slightly more whimsical and mischievous wizard than the one we see in Lord of the Rings.

Some of the humor, however, comes from very enjoyable scenes that would not fit snugly in Lord of the Rings but seem perfectly at home here – scenes such as the dwarves “cleaning up” after their party at Bilbo’s house, haphazardly flinging and bouncing Bilbo’s mother’s best china hither and yon throughout the hobbit-hole while Bilbo looks on in distracted despair before walking into the next room and discovering it’s all now neatly stacked away. This scene also gives viewers an important sense of the personality imbued by the dwarves of The Hobbit, which is pretty helpful considering it’s a bit hard to remember which dwarf is which: thirteen is a fair number of small bearded main characters to keep track of.

Another humorous scene I still remember as one of my favorites from my first childhood reading is the one in which Bilbo endeavors to trick a trio of mountain trolls out of eating the whole company; and a fair bit of time and humor is devoted to that scene in the movie, much to my delight. These scenes work wonderfully within the whole. And yet, as my friends and I left the theater, a few of them complained that in places the movie is a bit hokey… and I didn’t disagree. From the best fun scenes, through the more obvious gags that are still funny (such as Bilbo insisting the whole company must go all the way back to Bag End because he forgot his handkerchief, and then one of the dwarves helpfully flinging him a dirty old piece of cloth to use instead), the movie does arrive at a few scenes that are wince-worthy.

The most notable of these is the one with Goblin King. He is fascinatingly grotesque in appearance, and his appearance comes at a dire time for the dwarves, who have been captured and are being held deep underground by what seems like thousands of goblins. The Goblin King is threatening to (and then does) alert the Dwarf King Thorin’s mightiest living enemy, the orc leader Azog, who is on the hunt for Thorin, that the goblins now have him. Logically, it should be a serious moment in the movie. And yet the Goblin King’s demeanor is comical (and not in a good way) and his threats, issued with laughter, are anticlimactically not very menacing at all. (Threats issued with laughter can be super menacing. A good evil laugh can actually make threats more menacing. In the case of the Goblin King, this…is not the case.) Even the bit where he tells another goblin to send word to Azog is off-kilter, with the secretary goblin being a weirdly stunted specimen who apparently gets around the goblin caverns on a zip-line.

This scene and a very few others in the movie are jarring; however, as a whole, the movie is thoroughly enjoyable. Despite the weirdness of the Goblin King, almost without exception the rest of the characters (and actors) are wonderful; and the visuals are just as stunning as those in The Lord of the Rings trilogy. And there are some fantastic scenes as well. These include the delightful opening of the movie, which ties The Hobbit to The Lord of the Rings by having the elderly Bilbo, in the midst of preparations for his 111th birthday party, writing the narrative and chatting with Frodo (hooray, Elijah Wood cameo!). They also include the scene in which Bilbo and Gollum are having a contest of riddles, all alone in the darkest tunnels of the goblin realm, which was one of the darkest and most ominous scenes, and wouldn’t have been out of place with the tone of The Lord of the Rings.

Overall, despite the dwarves’ very serious quest, this movie feels less serious of purpose than The Lord of the Rings; but that is something I attribute to the original book, rather than the movie’s production. Just as Jackson tried to be faithful to the tone and sense of the trilogy, here he has been faithful to the source material, and I think remembering that as you go in to see the movie (or in thinking of it afterwards) contributes to the enjoyment of it. Going in with the expectation of seeing another Lord of the Rings might leave you feeling surprised, as I was, at the differing tone of this movie; but going in with the mindset that this is an adventure, a romp, and a fun journey will leave you feeling satisfied with the end result. And, of course, it’s important to remember that this is only part one. I suspect that through the second movie and by the end of part three, the tone will shift, as the book’s did, until it arrives in the territory of Lord of the Rings and leaves us with a fairly consistent six movie collection. I personally can’t wait to see what comes next.

Until next time, Servo Lectio!

TUESDAY AFTERNOON: Michael Davis

WEDNESDAY MORNING: Mike Gold

 

Emily S. Whitten: Making Art and Words of Wisdom

It’s Friday night and I’m standing on the crowded floor of a packed concert with friends when suddenly, it hits me: the perfect little plot point to tie together two parts of the first storyline for the new comic I’m working on. Naturally I immediately have to make some notes before I forget the idea. Five minutes later I’m back to the show, but kind of wishing I could be in two places at once so I could enjoy the rest of the show and be working on the new idea at the same time. Too bad reality doesn’t work that way.

Instead, we all have our own little difficulties and stumbling blocks to get over when it comes to creating art – like procrastination, or writer’s block, or fear of failure, or what-have-you – and I’d just been hit by one of mine, which is definitely distraction. Or, to put a more positive spin on it, the way my brain seems to like multitasking all the time. Sometimes it can be a good thing – like when I haven’t worked on a story in a bit and suddenly an idea comes to me out of nowhere. But other times, the distractions come at all the wrong times, like when I’m in the middle of working on the story and something else comes along; or when I have a great idea but no good way to preserve it or to start working on it right away. (Thank goodness for the notepad-type apps on smartphones, at least, which have helped a little with that problem!)

Creating is a funny process. Sure, there are some universal fundamentals to it, but everyone does it differently. Some writers are prolific, while others take years to write one novel. Some comics artists want a detailed script from a writer, while others like a loose framework they can play with. Some people like to get feedback as they go; but others don’t want anyone else’s eyes on their work until they think it’s perfect.

No matter how different each person’s process may be, though, everyone has to face their own hurdles as they create, because, let’s face it – it’s not easy. Sure, sometimes it may feel easy – you’re barreling through a story or a page of art and everything is flowing out like it’s never going to stop; but then it does, or you get stuck on one paragraph or frame of artwork for a ridiculous amount of time; or you look up at your clock at three in the morning and wonder if everything you just made was terrible. Or maybe none of these things happen to you; but I guarantee something in your process feels like a struggle from time to time.

At times like that, I find it helps me to be painfully aware of my shortcomings, so that I can remind myself of ways to overcome them. The reminders may be deceptively simple – e.g. don’t get distracted; that other thing will still be there when you’ve run out of words to write about this idea; you need to stop doing everything else and get back to the story – but just by owning the flaws and actively calling my brain to attention to overcome them, I have a much easier time actually doing so.

I think this same concept can be applied all the way through the process – from the very beginnings of your creation through to the part where you’re hoping to share it with the world (presumably in a profitable way). And since all of us experience the process of creation and sharing that creation in different ways, I thought it would be neat to see what some successful folks in the comics industry might offer as their best advice for successful writing or making art; giving us a window into what these creators find most important to keep in mind throughout the process (or possibly what they’ve learned by overcoming their own challenges), and providing us with some helpful thoughts, reminders, or encouragements as we work on our own art.

Thanks to the handiness of Twitter, through which I solicited advice, these contributions are all coincidentally in the form of handy, bite-sized little mantras that we can memorize, put up on a Post-it somewhere, etc. as needed to help keep us all on track as we make good art amidst the busy whirlwind of life. So without further ado, here they are!

@VictorGischler: Know yourself. Look inward and identify in which direction your enthusiasm lies. Also coffee. Lots of coffee.

@GailSimone: No one looks back and says, “I wish I’d taken fewer chances.”

@Reilly_Brown: Have a clear goal in mind from the start. “Success” is if the audience gets your point.

@MikeSHenderson: Keep challenging your weaknesses, and never stop acting like a professional.

@AletheaKontis: My Best Advice = Shut Up & Write.

@FredVanLente: There can always be one more draft. Have fun. Be a good person before a good artist.

@Janet_K_Lee: Sit your butt in the chair is #1. #2 Be fearless. Always try to learn and try something new.

@PaoloMRivera: I always tell everyone to sculpt. As for writing, just make people care. That may not be advice, but that’s the goal.

@JimMcCann: Allow yourself to fail every once in a while. Then make it better. :)

@kabalounge (Georges Jeanty): Make sure you are telling the story and not just trying to show off your artistic skills.

@MOWheatley (Mark Wheatley): Write. Draw. Do it again. Do it a lot. Keep doing it. Do it some more. Then do it again.

@brubaker (Ed Brubaker): My advice would just be keep doing it. You can’t control success.

@BenMcCool: Work hard, often & with abundant passion. Also, resist urge to drunkenly hassle editors. [ESW note: This is very wise.]

@jpalmiotti (Jimmy Palmiotti): Don’t listen to others’ BS, and stay focused.

@DennisCalero: Write and draw as much as you can and take it seriously.

@SkottieYoung: Do it a lot then do it more after that. Then, you know, keeping doing it.

@jerhaun (Jeremy Haun): Honestly @skottieyoung has it right. It’s all about being the guy that just doesn’t quit.

@GeneHa: @skottieyoung Exactly. Dave Sim said everyone has approximately 10K bad drawings in them. Keep drawing until most are outta your system. Also look for people who draw things differently than you do. Why does it still work, or even work better?

@PatrickZircher: Marry money. [ESW note: Hee!] Also, read any interview in which a mature comic pro talks about the work itself.

@JeffParker: Keep it short, be extremely clear to the extreme. Directness is harder than it looks.

@PaulTobin: Don’t stop. Choose what you love, not what you think will sell.

Also, study what you love. Understand why. Give your voice freedom.

@DavidGallaher: Always keep making stuff.

@PeterDavid_PAD: Buy my book on the subject.

@JoeKellyMOA: Do what you do every day. Intentionally do bad drafts so you get to good ones. Know when to take a nap. Go out for inspiration.

@LForLloyd (David Lloyd): There are really good books recommended by professionals here, but practice makes perfect, too… : )

@JamalIgle: Be yourself. Cliché, I know, but I’ve had more success when I listened to my gut. Your voice is precious; hone it, shape it, no one can take it away from you.

@DeanHaspiel: Live. Love. Make. Don’t hate. Be true. Show up. Commune. Commit. Deliver. Repeat.

@ColleenCoover: Read comics from before you were born. Don’t keep trying to redo stuff if it’s not perfect. Learn from mistakes and move on.

@FrankTieri: Also, get used to hearing “no” a lot. Even after you break in.

Excellent words of advice from great creators, all of whom share their work and wisdom on Twitter (so I’ve provided their usernames in case anyone is wondering where to follow them). I hope you all find them as helpful as I do!

Thank you to everyone who contributed to this column, and until next time, Servo Lectio!

TUESDAY AFTERNOON: Michael Davis

WEDNESDAY MORNING: Mike Gold

 

Emily S. Whitten: Marvel Studios, Bring Back The Hero of Hell’s Kitchen!

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for a blast from the past! After years and years of intending to, I finally bought and watched the Director’s Cut of Daredevil (thank you, Black Friday sales! $4 is a reasonable price, eh?). I remember watching the original in the theater when it came out in 2003, and enjoying parts of it despite the overall unbalanced and less-than-cohesive feeling of the whole product. I also remember the cascade of negative reviews, and I can’t say I disagreed with a majority of what they said. I know after the Director’s Cut was released, however, it got more positive reviews, and it turns out those were also deserved.

With the re-watch of the movie in its more fully intended form, I’ve come to the conclusion that the most egregious error made was the inclusion of Elektra, or at least Elektra as we get her in this movie. There are two problems with the Elektra storyline. The first is that it gave the director an opportunity for one more cheesy fight scene than would otherwise have made it in, that being the horrendously cheesy and overlong almost dance-like fight scene when Matt meets Elektra. That thing is so ridiculously choreographed that when it starts, you feel like you’ve hopped movies into West Side Story and they’re about to run up and down the playground see-saws singing or something. I can almost see Matt Murdock balanced on the end of a park bench, arms flung wide as he delivers a little solo. It’s cringe-inducing, and pulls me out of the story.

I actually like most of the fight scenes in this movie, but there are snippets of others that are cheesy, too, namely when first Daredevil and then Elektra whirl their weapons around the first time we see them suited up. I could have enjoyed those bits if they were shot a little differently, to show Daredevil, say, routinely checking his weapons to make sure they’re functioning before he goes out, or to show Elektra warming up for her little sandbag-vendetta practice. But as shot, they just look like they’re posing for nobody, and are hilariously too comic book for an otherwise fairly serious and dark movie. Added to that first fight scene, those bits also pull me out of the story.

The second issue I have with the Elektra story is that it’s just too much story to be trying to fit into one movie with all the rest. Granted I understand it’s part of the larger storyline here, but if the entire Elektra thing was lifted out, almost nothing except a tiny bit of Daredevil tragic-story-ness would be missing, and the storyline could surely have been reworked in a way to close any gaps caused by her absence.On the other hand, by including it, we get a hurried “romance” that isn’t firmly established enough to make it feel very real or engaging, as well as the too-minimal establishment of Elektra’s father as a character. If the elder Natchios existed just to be eliminated or shown to be part of Kingpin’s empire, his being a mostly stock character would have been fine. But given that we’re supposed to care about him and his connection to Elektra thanks to her larger part in the storyline, his negligible appearance and then disappearance as a character is not the tragedy we’re supposed to feel it is.

As opposed to the whole Elektra storyline (and despite the fact that I’ve loved Jennifer Garner in action roles ever since my addiction to Alias), I think the movie would have been much better served to have used the established story of Elektra as an ex if she needed to be there at all; or to have found another Kingpin patsy than the Natchios family for this particular story. Also, in my imaginary world, cutting out the Elektra storyline would have eliminated Fox’s ability to introduce the Elektra movie, which, let’s face it, could not have been made better by any amount of cutting or tweaking, despite Jennifer Garner’s ass-kicking ways and dimpled smile. Man that thing was terrible, boring, and disjointed to the point of complete incoherence.

However, I will say that there was one thing I loved in the romance storyline: the bit about Matt being able to “see” Elektra via the rain. It was beautifully done, and was later used to great effect in the funeral scene with the umbrella.

Despite Elektra and the bits of cheese, there’s actually a lot to love about this movie. The main storyline is pretty good when the additional scenes of the Director’s Cut are added. With those, we actually get a cohesive story, rather than the chopped version we saw in theaters. The cast is mostly super-enjoyable, too. I know Affleck got flak for his portrayal of Daredevil, but honestly, I think he’s very good, particularly as Matt and when Jon Favreau is around to add a little warmth and comedy as Foggy Nelson (I liked Favreau as Happy Hogan in the Iron Man movies, too. He should be in more movies). For some reason Affleck looks a little weird in the mask (he has a strong chin and jawline and yet it makes him look slightly chubby-cheeked) but I blame the costume department, rather than Affleck, for that (and I liked the rest of the costume).

The late Michael Clarke Duncan is wicked menacing and convincing as the Kingpin – you get the sense of both his business smarts and his street smarts from his scenes, plus the feeling that you really, really just do not want to be in the same room as him, ever, because you never know what he might do next. Joe Pantoliano is perfect as reporter Ben Urich (Urich’s always been a favorite of mine in the comics, and being a journalist, I loved the way they have him popping up everywhere as he diligently goes after the story, and when they show him writing at the end). And I got a kick out of Kevin Smith’s cameo, as well as all of the shoutouts to Daredevil writers and artists.

I have to say Colin Farrell as Bullseye might be my favorite casting in this movie. That may seem surprising, given that every single second he’s on screen he chews scenery like it’s the most important meal of the day; but given the character he’s playing, that’s actually perfect. Pardon my French, but Bullseye in the comics is bug-fuck nuts, as well as being crazy arrogant and not giving shit one about the lives of others, and Farrell pulls that personality onto the screen with every swagger and look of madness-laced annoyance at everyday occurrences. I love the little scene where he chokes the chatty old woman with a carefully aimed peanut, as well as when the Kingpin walks in and Bullseye’s just casually hanging out in his office waiting for him, boots up on the desk, sharpening a pencil like the ones he just killed the guard with. The scene where he goes through the airport, while completely over the top, is priceless too. I also love how he asks for a costume (but happily, doesn’t get one) and the fact that they let Farrell keep his Irish accent for the movie, even though it doesn’t fit with the comics origin. I like the idea of Bullseye as a crazy Irishman (who gets mad when people call him a crazy Irishman).

Some of my absolute favorite parts of the movie have to do with both the look of the movie – with all the night scenes, the blue-tinged lighting, and the gritty streets, we really get the feel of this being Hell’s Kitchen NYC and Daredevil’s NYC, not the tourist variety – and the fight scenes. Despite the high leaps in those scenes looking weirdly fake to me (something about the way they were shot, I think), I absolutely adore everything else about the way they portray Daredevil’s unique and fluid fighting style, including the way he uses his white cane/weapon (although his is red and white) and the way he uses the city as basically one giant jungle gym from which to move and fight. More than anything, though, I love the way they portray both his enhanced sonar senses and how he lives as a blind man. Even years later, I remember my original viewing of the scene that shows him moving through his apartment, choosing his suit by the Braille tag labels and folding his money, stored in separate Braille-marked boxes, into different shapes to differentiate the denomination. Less well-remembered but equally cool are the parts of fight scenes that show, from his viewpoint, how he uses sound to fight, as well as how sound can be used to overpower him. And, as mentioned, the effect of water on his “sight,” used both in the Elektra scenes and in the Kingpin fight scene, is brilliantly done.

Oddly, in looking back at this movie, which appeared two years before Batman Begins, I can see how with some adjustments this could have been, if not as great (Batman Begins being just one of those pretty-much-perfect movies to me), something a bit closer to that; and how it actually was in much the same vein as that movie in mood and tone. I think that realization was lost to me (and probably a lot of other people) on first viewing by the lack of the Director’s Cut scenes and the inclusion of the cheesier story elements. However, with the darkness (both visually and in the story) and the noir feel of the movie that stems from the Frank Miller stories by which it was inspired, as well as the modern sense of a gritty NYC, the full version of the movie actually holds up pretty well nine years after it was made.

But, fun as this retrospective may be (for me, at least; your mileage may vary), why am I writing about all of this nine years after the movie’s release? Well, mainly because in October of this year, the film rights reverted back to Marvel Studios; and I’d really, really love to see a new Daredevil movie from Marvel. There is a lot I love about the character and his surrounds, including his stance as a crusading lawyer and helper of other superheroes and his unique fighting style. I also like his devotion to and the stories’ focus on Hell’s Kitchen, which infuses the area itself with its own unique comic-book character and makes it one of the more “real”-feeling settings in comics, since it’s both a strong presence in the stories and based on a real and not-too-overwhelmingly-large area. And, cheesy as it may be, I love the fact that in the Daredevil stories, justice is literally blind. What can I say: I’m a sucker for a good double-meaning.

As of a few days ago, Marvel has not announced any plans for a new Daredevil movie, but I hope to see that change sometime soon. I’m not sure what storyline I’d want them to follow – but a reboot could be a lot of fun if they kept the basic origin and some of the great elements from this one but did a different introductory storyline. With Daredevil, I think that would be entirely possible, since his origin itself doesn’t need to take up too much of the movie (they established it pretty efficiently here and I didn’t feel anything was lacking) and his job as a lawyer gives plenty of opportunities for crime-fighting stories that encompass both halves of his life. What do you think a good focus for a new movie would be? Tell me in the comments!

And until next time, Servo Lectio!

TUESDAY AFTERNOON: Michael Davis

WEDNESDAY MORNING: Mike Gold

 

 

Emily S. Whitten: Spidey and Bats’ Infinite Playlist

“I can’t believe I agreed to this,” Bruce muttered, as he locked the front door of Wayne Manor.

“Hey, Bats!” a cheerful voice exclaimed from behind. Bruce turned.

“Peter,” he grumbled at the young man standing in the driveway. “I told you not to call me that when I’m out of the suit.”

“Sorry, Bats! Forgot,” Peter Parker replied merrily.

Bruce groaned inwardly. Here we go again, he thought. “Peter, what are you doing here?” he asked.

“I came to keep you company on the drive!” said Peter. “Plus, you know… Alfred thought if I didn’t, you might not come.”

“So… you came all the way out here just to turn around and go right back?” Bruce said wryly, walking to the car.

“Well, you know, it’s quick when you’re swinging through the air with the greatest of ease.” Peter grinned. “And Aunt May also thought it would be a good idea for me to get out of the house for a few. I think she’s kind of sweet on Alfred, actually.”

“What?”

“Oh, well, you know. I could be wrong,” Peter said mischievously. “But they were looking pretty cozy over the turkey earlier.”

“Yargh,” Bruce said in a strangled voice. “Uh… well… let’s get going, I guess.” He slung a bag into the back seat and slid into the driver’s side. Peter hopped into the passenger seat.

“How ‘bout some tunes?” Peter asked, pulling out his iPod as Bruce pulled out of the drive. He turned on the radio. “Gah!” he shouted as music blasted; then he laughed. “Wagner? Really, Bats?”

“It’s Bruce, remember?” said Bruce. “And I like Wagner.”

“Yeah, who doesn’t love Ride of the Valkyries? Nothing overdramatic about that.”

“Did you come just to make fun of my musical selections?” asked Bruce.

“Of course not! Alfred said you’ve been feeling kind of down about the whole superhero-ing thing. Like you thought maybe you’re not making much of a difference and nobody appreciates you. So… I dunno, I thought you could use some positive reinforcement. Nobody wants an emo Batman.”

“Emo… ?” Bruce spluttered.

“I’m just sayin’,” said Peter, holding up his hands in mock surrender. He plugged in his iPod. “Anyway, I asked Harry to put together a list of all the songs people have written about superheroes, so we could listen on the drive. You know, to show you how people really do look up to us and we do make a difference. Wanna hear?”

Bruce sighed in defeat against Peter’s incessant good spirits. “Sure, whatever.”

“O-kaaay! Let’s see what we’ve got,” Peter said, pressing play.

“This isn’t bad,” Bruce said after a few seconds. Then the lyrics continued. Peter glanced over at Bruce, who was now glowering at the wheel.

“Hmm… let’s try another one, maybe?” Peter said.

“Excellent plan,” Bruce replied dryly. “I have to admit I like the music, but I’m pretty glad it’s just a song. I really prefer not to think about Superman being dead.”

“Uh, yeah,” Peter said. “Let’s try again.”

“Eminem. Now that I wasn’t expecting,” said Bruce in surprise. “… Although the lyrics aren’t exactly heroic, are they?”

“True; but a) it is so cool that you recognized Eminem in two seconds flat, Bats; and b) he’s a total superhero fan. Or so I hear,” said Peter. “Oh, hey hey! This next one’s about you, I think.” They listened in silence for a minute.

Bruce winced. “Did you even listen to these when Harry gave them to you?”

“Well, okay, I didn’t have time, and I grant you it’s not the greatest song ever… but at least Gotham has its own theme song!” Peter chirped.

“Yeah, somehow I don’t think it goes with the actual ambience of the city,” Bruce deadpanned. “Next.”

A jaunty tune filled the car.

“‘So long, Superman’? Seriously? Catchy, but are you sure Harry isn’t on one of his Evil Goblin kicks again?”

Peter scrunched up his nose. “Well… I mean, he seemed really enthused about the playlist idea.”

“Yeaaaaah. I bet,” Bruce drawled. “Also, why are there so many songs about Superman? What about the other half of our sometimes-team-up. Namely, me? Why the inequality?”

“Dunno, Bats. ‘Once again it’s a mind bender.’“

“… Did you just vaguely mis-quote Method Man?”

“I can’t believe you got that reference. But it’s appropriate! The Wu-Tang Clan loves superheroes.” Peter scrolled down on the playlist. “Looks like Snoop Dogg does too.”

Bruce listened as they drove along. “Well, Peter, I like the rhythm… but I’m pretty sure I’ve never told Alfred to have ‘barbecued buffalo wings and a pitcher of Kool-Aid on chill.’“

“Okay, so maybe they put their own spin on things. But still! They loved you enough to make a whole song about you!”

“With sound effects and everything. I’m honored.” Bruce said, a bit sarcastically.

“Okay, okay, well hey, you know, here’s a different take,” Peter said, hurriedly pushing buttons. “I bet you love this one, huh?”

“… Is this… Prince? Prince did a Batman song? What’s this called?”

“Seriously? You’ve never seen the Batdance before? Bats, you need to get out more.”

“Clearly.”

“Oh-em-gee; I can’t wait to watch the video with you. YouTube, here we come!”

“Nice try, Peter, but I am not letting you suck me into the bottomless pit that is YouTube again.” Bruce grumped. “It’s almost as bad as TV Tropes.”

“We’ll see.” Peter hit the button again. Bruce listened in silence for awhile.

“Huh – I actually really like this one. What’s it called? Maybe I’ll have Alfred download it for me later.”

“That’s the spirit! It’s The Ballad of Barry Allen by Jim’s Big Ego.”

“That’s a ridiculous name for a band.” Bruce paused. “Good song though. Let it play.”

[3 minutes later]

“Okay, this one’s the whiniest thing I’ve ever heard. What’s it called?”

Peter squirmed a little. “Uh – Spidey’s Curse?”

Bruce laughed. “Talk about emo.” He laughed some more and Peter thought he heard a snort. “Your theme song is one long whiny drone!”

“It’s not my theme song, Bats! Anyway, I much prefer Dashboard Confessional’s take. If I had to pick, I’d go with Vindicated,” Peter said, skipping ahead again.

“Okay,” said Bruce. “I’ve actually heard that one and shockingly, I’d have to agree.”

“And you’d also have to agree that this is awesome,” Peter said, skipping to the next song.

“Well everybody likes this one. But I mean, Harry does realize it’s not actually about Tony Stark, right?”

“You know,” Peter said thoughtfully, “it’s not, but somehow it is.”

“Touché,” replied Bruce. At the beginning of the next song, he grunted. “Another Superman song? Really?”

“Yeah, but this one’s really good. I think Harry likes these next three as much as me – he put them all in a row.”

“So we could get sick of Superman getting all the good songs faster? Hey, did he put Jimmy Olsen’s Blues on there? Now there’s a song I can sympathize with.”

Peter looked over at Bruce. “Wow, Bats. Are you… are you jealous of Clark? I mean, suave billionaire that you are, I wouldn’t have thought it.”

“Of course not, Peter. You know Clark’s like a brother to me. He’s just… a little unreal sometimes, is all. I can sympathize with Jimmy. We’re only human.”

“Fair point. Ooh, here, I like this one,” Peter said, scrolling to Weezer. “Kinda makes me feel like I’m back in high school.”

“What, like yesterday?” Bruce snarked.

“Ha. Ha.” Peter replied.

Bruce swung the car into a familiar driveway to the end chords of In the Garage.

“Oh hey! We’re here. Aunt May’s going to be so happy to see you! Betchya ten bucks she tries to get you to eat something within the first three minutes.”

“No bet,” said Bruce, smiling as the door opened on Aunt May and Alfred.

“Happy Thanksgiving!” they both exclaimed, as Aunt May took the bottle of wine Bruce was holding out and gave him a big hug.

“Glad you could make it, Master Bruce,” said Alfred, as Aunt May said, “So good to see you again, Bruce. Come in, come in!”

Aunt May bustled away with the wine, calling over her shoulder, “I bet you’re hungry – but never fear! I have some mini quiches with your name on them!”

Peter and Bruce exchanged an amused look. “Thank you, Aunt May, that sounds delightful,” Bruce replied politely as they stepped inside.

“So, Bats,” Peter said quietly as they stood for a moment watching Aunt May and Alfred hurry around setting food on the table, “what did you think of the music? All those people inspired to write about us in their songs; wanting to be like us, or looking up to us, or even just thinking about what our lives are like?”

“It does lend a different perspective, I’ll admit,” Bruce replied. “Also I’ve now learned that rappers really love comics. Was that the whole playlist?”

“Nope! Guess we’ll just have to save the rest for the ride back to Wayne Manor.”

“Oh, joy,” Bruce said. But he was smiling when he said it.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Bruce.”

“Happy Thanksgiving, Peter.”

Spidey and Bats’ Infinite Playlist

Our Lady Peace – Superman’s Dead

Eminem – Superman

R. Kelly – Gotham City

Firewater – So Long, Superman

RBX, Snoop Dogg, & The Lady of Rage – Batman & Robin

Prince – Batdance

Jim’s Big Ego – The Ballad of Barry Allen

Black Lips — Spidey’s Curse

Dashboard Confessional – Vindicated

Black Sabbath – Iron Man

3 Doors Down – Kryptonite

Crash Test Dummies – Superman’s Song

Five for Fighting – Superman

Spin Doctors – Jimmy Olsen’s Blues

Weezer – In the Garage

Drowning Pool – The Man Without Fear

Method Man – The Riddler

Big Head Todd and the Monsters – Resignation Superman

Lemon Demon – The Ultimate Showdown for Ultimate Destiny

The Kinks – Catch Me Now I’m Falling

Me’shell Ndegeocell – Poison Ivy

Suicide – Ghost Rider

Saving Jane – Supergirl

Dangerdoom – Space Ho’s

moe. – Captain America

The Traits – Nobody Loves The Hulk

Sufjan Stevens – The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts

Rancid – Side Kick

Rush – Ghost Rider

Remy Zero – Save Me

Panic! at the Disco – Mercenary

Bow Wow – Batman

Anthrax – I Am the Law

Black Lab – Learn to Crawl

R.E.M. – Superman

The Brunettes – Hulk is Hulk

They Might Be Giants – Particle Man

Laverne Baker – Batman to the Rescue

The Ramones – Spider-Man

[Author’s note: Yes, yes, I crossed the streams. Sue me. But you know in a perfect world Spider-Man and Batman would be oddly fantastic friends. Anyway, Happy (slightly belated) Thanksgiving, everyone! And I hope I’ve maybe added a bit to your nerdy playlists this week. Servo Lectio!]

TUESDAY AFTERNOON: Michael Davis

WEDNESDAY MORNING: Mike Gold

 

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