In our era of Existential angst, ain’t it time that we make time to laugh at our messy human selves? If you’re ready for a good dose of some of that and just in time for New York Comic Con this weekend, join the folks at the much-lauded Brick Theater in Williamsburg, Brooklyn with the award-winning Impetuous Theater Group’s production of Crystal Skillman’s [[[Action Philosophers!]]], directed by John Hurley, based upon the comic books of the same name written by Fred Van Lente (married to the playwright) and illustrated by Ryan Dunlavey (reviewed here plus interview with Fred last year). First mounted for the Comic Book Theater Festival in June, this retooled upgrade has 50% new cast.
You’d think that turning a truly comic book into a comedy would be a piece of cake! Wrong-o-roonie! As the dynamic duo of Skillman & Hurley discovered, it’s a challenge. But they kept this Philosophy professor very happy (they could pass my mid-term!). The result: it’s philosophical history a la Monty Python on Crack. Fasten your safety belts and keep your arms in the ride at all times.
Back after 20 years! Doc Savage and his mighty crew return in a brand-new series of nightmare exploits that can only be called…. THE WILD ADVENTURES OF DOC SAVAGE! Ferocious blood-red Things begin dropping down from the sky, the state of California is besieged by the Desert Demons—a phenomenon so fierce that it triggers a modern exodus. Only Doc Savage, the scientist-superman who was forged in the fires of scientific knowledge to battle the unknown, is equal to the challenge. From the Hollywood hills to the alligator-infested interior of Florida, the Man of Bronze wages war with cyclonic monsters that seem to possess an intelligence of their own—and a murderous malevolence that smacks of the unearthly!
Doc Savage returns! Novelist Will Murray teams up with Doc Savage originator Lester Dent for the first authorized exploit of the legendary superhero in 20 years. When the California skies fill with howling red cyclones that devour man and machine alike, the Man of Bronze rushes from his Fortress of Solitude to combat the greatest threat he ever faced. Are The Desert Demons a man-made menace — or things from beyond? Based on an unfinished novel by Lester Dent. Cover by acclaimed artist-sculptor Joe DeVito.
While the ruthless corporate CEO as villain is pretty much a stock character in modern pop culture, superhero comics have always conspicuously placed successful businessmen on both sides of the hero/villain divide. Yet an interesting, and perhaps counterintuitive, pattern recently occurred to me. Just off the top of my head, here are some of the most prominent superhero characters who have, for some significant chunk of their histories, been portrayed as CEOs of large corporations:
Bruce Wayne (Batman)
Oliver Queen (Green Arrow)
Tony Stark (Iron Man)
Ted Kord (Blue Beetle)
Here are the first four CEO supervillains who spring to mind:
Lex Luthor
Wilson Fisk (Kingpin)
Adrian Veidt (Ozymandias)
Norman Osborn (Green Goblin)
Ok, comics geeks, pop quiz: What do the four heroes and the four villains each have in common?
The answer is that none of the four heroes founded the corporations that bear their family names: Each of them inherited their wealth.
Adding to the list of inheritors: Charles Xavier, Garfield Logan (from stepdad Steve Dayton who was a self made billionaire and for a while, a bad guy). Who else can we add to the lists– and who are the exceptions that prove the rule? And where do we put Scrooge McDuck?
In Lone Justice, we presented the story of a superhero whose millionaire secret identity fell on hard times during what is politely termed an economic downturn. Well, according to this vacation rental listing on Trip Advisor, Lone Justice isn’t the only fellow having problems:
Situated in the grand expanse of the Thomas and Martha Wayne estate on the outskirts of Gotham City, Wayne Manor welcomes guests with centuries-old charm combined with the very latest technological amenities to ensure your stay is as memorable as the day your parents died.
Relax in the misty gray sunshine on the spacious greens for a damp stroll in the afternoon, or in the event of clear skies enjoy a cocktail at your choice of either Olympic-sized swimming pools. In the evening, retire from your day of sun or drizzle into the renown Wayne Library, its towering walls lined with original printings ranging from classic Sir Arthur Conan Doyle to the latest reflections upon Jungian psychological individualization theory. Please note that vistors traveling with busts of family members should be advised not to leave them on display near any large windows, as such statuettes have been known to attract some of the more aggressive–however stately and noble!–nocturnal wildlife of the manor grounds.
Our one-man hospitality staff allows Wayne Manor to remain affordable for any guest budget; there’s no need to be world-travelling celebrity photojournalist or the daughter of an Arabian mystic to enjoy a luxurious weekend with us!
And at only $2000 a week, it’s within almost anybody’s price range. We know where we’re spending the High Holy Days…
Welcome back to the Fishtopia, gentle readers. Once again, I’m refraining from dumping all over DC. I know, bold move. But boldness is what I’m known for. Boldness, being Jewish, and uhh… having a beard. I thought I’d tickle my fantasy bone today and open a door to a magic land. Come with me, won’t you? We open on a cool, crisp Chicago late afternoon. A chilly breeze blows through my thick beardly-locks. The lake air wafts past my nose, bringing with it the scents of a city. A hotdog dragged through the garden. Buttery deep dish pizza choked with cheese and sausage. Hipster-douchebags in knit caps, skinny jeans, and too much Old Spice. Ahhhh. I gaze longingly at the Lake. A lonely boat drifts in the distance. My iPhone rings. Oh! It’s Marvel calling.
Me: Hello?
Them: Marc-E-Marc! It’s Axel!
Me: The Axe-Man! What’s the happy haps?
Them: So we just have to get you on the payroll here. It’s been too long!
Me: I know, I know. What do you have in mind? Another Slingers mini? Maybe Matt and I can knock out that Darkhawk book we keep pitching to you?
Them: Oh no, bubbala. I got something better. Something you’ve been dying for.
Me: No.
Them: Oh… oh yes.
Me: Say it. I want to hear you say it.
Them: OK Fish. Malibu. It’s yours.
At this point my legs go a bit limp. I find a bench. All is right with the world.
It’s no secret. I loved Malibu Comics’ Ultraverse. I owned nearly every book they published. If a genie were to grant me three wishes… bringing them back is the first thing I’d ask for (after world peace and a carb and calorieless Mac and Cheese). For those who aren’t familiar, let me dial up the pop-tart sized Wikipedia entry for you to wolf down before we proceed.
In 1993, a small publisher, Malibu Comics, decided to put out a line of superhero books. Hey why not, everyone else was doing it! The “Ultraverse” as it were, was a fun romp not beleaguered by decades of history (like Marvel or DC), knee-deep in boobs and guns (Ahem, Image…), nor entrenched in wads of super-science and hyper-continuity (like Valiant). Malibu’s line was just about the fun. Characters with barely believable backstories fighting baddies with a wide array of appropriated super-powers. As a 12-year old, I ate it up like a church group at a Sunday buffet. Yeah, I went there.
Fast forward to the mid-nineties… and sales dropped. Turned out all those issues of the Death of Superman weren’t worth thousands, and people were getting tired of counting the flaps of Spawn’s cape in a book of 17 splash pages. Marvel picked up the ashes of the now unpopular Ultraverse, and laid them to rest after a failed crossover. Ever since, I’ve wanted to grab those dirty ashes and reanimate them to their former glory. Here’s how…
Keeping things to their own li’l separate universe would be key. Call me crazy, but usurping an entire universe and rewriting continuity just to force a few has-beens into a modern setting seems like the dumb kid trying to wedge the square into the circle hole. Sound like anyone you know? Nah, me neither. Anyone here reading Voodoo and Grifter yet? But I digress!
I would make a batch of four or five books, akin to Marvel’s successful (turned boring, turned Jeph Loeb nightmare, turned interesting again) Ultimate line. A solid solo adventure book. A sturdy team book. Something to explore the fantasy/sci-fi angle. Maybe a nice villain-centered book. And then? A book with Wolverine in it. Hey, even in my wildest dreams, I need to sell some books. Allow me to pontificate.
My solo book? Prime. Here’s a character that begs to brought back. Taking the original Captain Marvel concept (a boy who can transform into a 20/30 something super-man), but adding a pinch of angst… makes this a title to appeal to teens and not-teens alike. Billy Batson is gee-golly-gosh cool. Seriously. I loved Mike Kunkel’s Johnny DC title. But we ain’t talkin’ about Billy.
Prime’s alter-ego is (was) Kevin Green… troubled youth. With a chip on his shoulder and an attitude problem, he’s the quintessential anti-Batson. Where a Peter Parker or Clark Kent have that “boy next door” charm, and a happy demeanor in and out of costume… Kevin is at that perfect age where he knows all the answers, and still can’t get girls to dig him. But when danger is afoot, he activates his liquid flesh power, and becomes the hyper-muscular Prime. Unlike a Marvel or Captain America though… Prime is instinctively still a teenager. He’s quick to anger. Quick to fight. And he’s powerful enough that no one is going to tell him otherwise, by force or not. Add in some crazy scientist arch nemesis and robots to trash? Maybe a love triangle where Kevin has the hots for a teen girl in high school, and a seductive Super Heroine as Prime? The book practically writes itself! Will Kevin lose his virginity to the super-slut, or save himself for prom? And how can he fight the evil mutant army, when he still needs to clean his room!?
How about a team adventure? Well, look no further than The Strangers. When a group of seven random passengers aboard a San Francisco trolley get hit by sentient alien lightning, they are imbued with super powers. They must unite to fight a mysterious eighth citizen who’s bent on taking over the city! OK, simple pitch aside, what I loved about The Strangers back in the day still holds true now. The pure oddity of powers given matched with completely dissimilar character types makes a book that never stops being fun for fun’s sake. The team is led by an art school student with Firestorm level matter-altering powers (and he doesn’t have the restriction of needing to know how to convert matter a la Ronnie or Jason). His best friend, a hot-head with a Guy Gardner level chip on his shoulder, is constantly trying to steal the spotlight. There’s a street urchin who’s more interested in using his super speed to score and sell drugs. A fashion designer who could care less about her new powers… she’s got a business to run. And did I mention the team has a hooker-android with electrical powers that may be remotely controlled by a mad scientist? What wouldn’t this book have people?!
OK, one more before I go. Mantra. For the sword and sorcery set who dig a little gender bending to boot. A warrior cursed to live eternally is reborn once more, after a thousand years… but this time, in the body of a woman! Having to acclimate himself to a modern world he’s not ready for, in a body he can’t get used to! It’s a fish out of water, with boobs. Marvel at Mantra as she fights against evil modern-day warlocks and demons… while trying to get the hang of sports bras and depilatories. Sex and the City meets Dungeons and Dragons, folks. Come get some.
Of course, you can’t actually get some. Malibu’s contracts were coated in leagues of red tape and legal roadblocks. Marvel tried to unearth the Ultraverse in 2005, but it go no further than a wish on the wind. And while no one of importance cared… I cried that lone American-Indian-on-the-side-of-the-road tear. Normally, I’d figure out a nifty way to end my column. A nice summation told via a pun or a wicked barb aimed at a worthy foe.
But I’m too sad right now. So I’m just ending with a bitter plea. Someone out there give me a million dollars, so I can go make this happen. No? You’re a bunch of jerks!
RESPONDING to years of declining readership, DC Comics — the publisher behind Superman, Batman and other superheroes — recently reintroduced itself with 52 new titles, featuring characters and story lines that better reflect today’s diverse sensibilities. But it remains to be seen whether that diversity will include more accurate portrayals of mental illnesses. Although the reintroduction is in full swing, it’s not too late for DC to use its unique and influential position in American pop culture to combat harmful stereotypes.
J. Jonah Jameson: Adam-Troy Castro asks, “Just What the Heck Is That Guy’s Major Malfunction, Anyway?”
Nothing will ever make him change his mind. Logic won’t do it. Integrity won’t do it. The evidence of his own two eyes won’t do it. The sage counsel of his most trusted advisors won’t do it. The awareness that he owes his life, and his son’s life, and the lives of everybody he knows, won’t do it. J. Jonah Jameson, publisher of the tabloid Daily Bugle, will never admit that he was wrong.
Well, here’s something strange. Within a 72-hour period last week a half dozen people asked me if I had read the new, new Animal Man. During that same period, my daughter was asked the same question by one of her friends. Then I had lunch with comics writer Paul Kupperberg, so I asked him if he read the book. He said no, not yet, but a number of people told him he should.
Hmmmm. Word of mouth is either the best or the worst type of publicity. I noticed not a one of these folks said it was great; just that it was worth reading.
I enjoyed the original Animal Man – the one that was created by Dave Wood and Carmine Infantino in Strange Adventures 180, some 46 years ago. It was unusual in that it was only occasionally published, and the lead didn’t get his costume (one of Carmine’s best) until the third appearance nearly a year later. His run – more like a bunch of skips and hops – was brief, but it clearly had an impact on us Baby Boomer fanboys. Animal Man was more of a cool concept than a fan fave.
Because I’m not quite paranoid to believe that all those people who recommended the book to us were part of a vast conspiracy, I approached Jeff Lemire and Travel Foreman’s Animal Man volume 2, number 1 without preconceptions.
Gone is the cool Infantino-designed costume, replaced by something that was clearly influenced by the original: no more contemporary in design, but with a more striking color scheme. We start with Buddy Baker’s home life, and here we indulge a bit in the married life superhero chiché. He’s not henpecked the way The Web was back in the 1960s (one of the first, if not the first, costumed hero with a “realistic” married life); Lemire cleverly uses the rough parts of family life as exposition.
It is that very family that is the root of this first story arc. In the 22-page format there’s very little room to establish the characters in this new reality and really get you deeply involved in an actual story, and Animal Man 2.1 does a better job of it than most of The New 52 stories I’ve read so far. Not as good as Mister Terrific #1 in terms of the quantity and depth of story, but more compelling from the perspective of character.
That seems to be what Animal Man is all about: character development within the framework of a family where the father has superpowers. I say “seems to be” because, well, hell, we don’t know. It’s just the first issue. But this beginning gives me hope.
I always get hinky when I think about how a DC series will get coopted as it is thrust into the DCU – sorry, make that DCnU – but I’ve learned to leave such speculation to time and historical inevitability. And hope that Animal Man beats the odds.
When asked as a kid what superhero I wanted to be my answer was Batman. I loved Batman. I mean, I really loved Batman.
One Halloween my mother brought me a Batman costume and I also wore it the day after Halloween when I went outside to play.
I was laughed out of the park when I got there.
Those little bastard kids made me run home so fast my sister (my mortal enemy) felt sorry for me… until her friends came over and she joined them in making me feel like bat shit.
The next day was Monday and I begged my mother to let me stay home from school. I knew I would be ridiculed something terrible. She told me I had nothing to worry about because no one knew it was me.
“Everybody saw me!” I cried.
“You were wearing a mask.” She said.
I don’t think that I’ve ever gone from “my life is over” to “oh happy day” so damn fast.
Last night at an Emmy party I was asked what superhero I would be by a laughing asshole who thought working in comics was a joke.
My mind instantly went back to my bat run from the park.
“Mr. Fantastic.” I said.
“That’s the guy who can stretch really far, right? Why him?” said the asshole.
“Because your wife would enjoy that.” I answered, in my fuck you and your opinion of what I do voice.
No reply from the asshole. He just looked at his wife. “What superhero would you want to be?” I asked.
Still no answer from the guy who was now regretting all those shots he had at the party.
Superhero comics have been re-booted and re-vamped and up-dated and back-dated for so long that we hardly notice anymore. However, there are some story elements that are fixed in the past, and maybe not in a good way.
For example …
• When Superman was first created, it was entirely believable that the rocket ship that brought him to Earth from Krypton could land in Kansas without anyone seeing it. Even through the 1970s or so, when the rocket should have landed in the 1950s, one could accept that premise. Now, however, the rocket would have crashed in the 1990s, when all sorts of satellites would have been tracking it. Even if it wasn’t identifiably a rocket, but assumed to be a meteor, scientists would have warned about the effects of impact. Cable news networks would have been all over it for the disaster porn.
• Did Peter Parker need a permission slip from Aunt May and Uncle Ben before going on a school trip to a facility with radioactive specimens? Did anyone consider a lawsuit?
• Barbara Gordon has been a librarian and a United States Congressional representative. Additionally, she was disabled by an attack from a criminal who was negligently allowed to escape from prison. She must have a great government pension plan. When she regains her ability to walk (apparently) in the upcoming series, are there Tea Party zealots demonstrating against her?
• Is Tony Stark the Koch Brothers of the Marvel Universe? And if not, why not?
• Both the DC Universe and the Marvel Universe contain countries ruled by people with super-powers. Are diplomatic postings to these countries considered to be good jobs or bad jobs? What are the Senate approval hearings like for those?
• Similarly, when the United Nations has that week when all the world leaders attend sessions, do these super-hero leaders provide their own security?
• Are there web sites like gofugyourself for superhero costumes? And, if so, do they similarly suggest that super-heroines consider pants somewhat more frequently? Or are they more like this?
• Are there reality competition shows for super-heroes, like, say, “X-Factor?”
• Does J. Jonah Jameson know Bill O’Reilly? Because I would totally like to see that.
Dominoed Daredoll Martha Thomases doesn’t really want to think about the current political climate transposed to places where people punch out walls.
