Category: Reviews

REVIEW: Gotham The Complete Third Season

Despite their wealth and social status. Thomas and Martha Wayne were victims of random violence in a city filled with such acts on an hourly basis. The robbery and dual murders could have happened to anyone which makes Bruce Wayne a sympathetic character – he could be us. His training to become Batman resonates because any of us could dedicate ourselves both mentally and physical to perfection in order to prevent others from becoming victims.

Unless you’re watching the mess that is Gotham. There, the everyman aspect has been stripped away from the event so here, in this twisted version of the comics, we learn their murders was ordered by the Court of Owls which is somehow tied in to the utterly corrupt Board of Directions of Wayne Enterprises.

With Gotham The Complete Third Season out now on Blu-ray from Warner Home Entertainment, we can relive the harebrained plotted which moves at such breakneck speed Producer Bruno Heller hopes you don’t stop to consider each disjointed piece of the tapestry.

We open with “Mad City” for the first arc which sees the city overrun with the freaks freed from earlier in the series and the Penguin (Robin Lord Taylor) glorying in his control over them, which helps when his bromance/romance with The Riddler (Cory Michael Smith) devolves into a distracting war, setting up the “Heroes Rise” arc for the back half.  We have the freaks on one side and the tortured humans – Jim Gordon (Ben McKenzie), Barbara (Erin Richards), Tabitha (Jessica Lucas), and poor Butch (Drew Powell) on the other. The Owls fade into the background as the two sides snarl at one another for tense minutes at a stretch until Fish Mooney (Jada Pinkett Smith) steals Penguin away.

Burt before that, because it seems obligatory in every incarnation, the Penguin runs for mayor and actually wins, for a change. Running the city proves to be difficult (who knew?), especially when the Red Hood Gang is back and people are worrying about Jervis Tetch (Benedict Samuel) and his hypnotized victims.

Heller likes brainwashing his characters such as poor Silver St. Cloud in an earlier season and now, midway through Season Three, he has the Shaman do this to teen Bruce (David Mazouz). Complicating things for everyone is his clone, 514A, trying to find a place for himself in the firmament. At least Bruce has an excuse for being wonky. Most of the other cast members are oddballs because the script demand sit without logical underpinnings. Case in point Lee Thompkins (Morena Baccarin) infecting herself with the Alice Tetch Virus. We then have the parallel plots of Alfred (Sean Pertwee) and Gordon trying to save the ones they love most. When Jim becomes infected, all seems lost so it falls to Alfred, Harvey Bullock (Donal Logue), and Lucius Fox (Chris Chalk) to save Gotham.

Things twist and turn, whether it makes sense or not, until we have an overstuffed finale featuring The Riddler, The Penguin, the Executioner (Michael Chiklis), Mr. Freeze (Nathan Darrow), Poison Ivy (Maggie Geha), Firefly (Camila Perez), Tigress, Talon (Brandon Alan Smith), Mad Hatter, Catwoman (Camren Bicondova), the Court of Owls, Hugo Strange (B.D. Wong) and Ra’s al Ghul (Alexander Siddig) before turning Butch into Solomon Grundy for this fall season. Normal citizens are now running amok, infected with the Tetch Virus, detonated by the Court, so there’s anarchy on the streets of the beleaguered city. It is at such a moment a Dark Knight should rise to protect the city and its inhabitants but now, Batman doesn’t exist yet. So the duty falls to an infected Gordon, acting closer to Judge Dredd than anyone else.

Don’t worry, though, Bruce is taking those first tentative steps towards bat-hood as he dons ski mask and tactical turtleneck to stop evil in Crime Alley. Never mind he has yet to be properly trained in anything for any length of time for him to get proficient. He’s been too distracted by the insanity around him.

Some seem to really like this bouillabaisse of a series, appreciating its frenetic pace and over-the-top performances. The season rates 89% at Rotten Tomatoes so I am clearly in the majority. So be it. The 22-hours are nicely transferred to high definition with the same quality of audio.

Scattered among the four discs are Special Features including Gotham: 2016 Comic-Con Panel; Madness Rising: the New Villains of Gotham, as producers discuss each new rogue added to the expanding cast; The Dark Within the Dark: The Court of Owls; Ben McKenzie Directorial Debut, exploring the actor’s turn behind the camera; and an assortment of Deleted Scenes, some of which are fun.

REVIEW: Killing Hasselhoff

REVIEW: Killing Hasselhoff

Never being a fan of Knight Rider, I never really paid attention to David Hasselhoff, but gathered he was a good-looking actor with limited range and skills. Somewhere along the way, he continued getting work in projects both good and bad and built a fan base (I hear he’s really big in Germany). As a result, I missed when he crossed the cultural equator and became comfortable with the ridicule and self-parody. He’s accepted where he fits in pop culture and has gone on to embrace it as witnessed by his hysterical ‘70s-era music video found on the Blu-ray of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.

And now, from Universal Home Entertainment, is Killing Hasselhoff, a direct-to-DVD release that finds him the target of an amateur assassin. This sloppy, slight comedy stars Ken Jeong as a nightclub owner in debt to loan shark Wasserstein (Will Sasso). Unable to find the $400,000 to cover the money owed, he’s given a chance to retire the obligation. As a member of the celebrity pool club, he is required to select a name and bump off whoever he picks to win the $567,000 grand prize and guess who that is?

Accompanied by Fish (Rhys Darby) and Tommy (Jim Jeffries), Jeong’s Chris becomes a live-action coyote attempting to destroy the slo-mo Hasselhoff without supplies from the Acme Company.

“Then, of course, it also stars David Hasselhoff, who, in all sincerity, I can safely say is the coolest motherf*cker on the planet. That man is wholly responsible for this project coming to fruition. Yes, David Hasselhoff, Mitch Buchannon himself, is responsible for me realizing my lifelong ambition. That’s a real sentence,” wrote screenwriter Peter Hoare about the experience.

No doubt, it sounded like a good idea and perhaps it read better on paper than on screen. The film clocks in at a mercifully brief 80 minutes and despite Hasselhoff and an assortment of celebrity cameos including Kid Cudi, Hulk Hogan, Spice Williams, Howie Mandel, Gena Lee Nolin and Pat Monahan, the film just doesn’t work. (By the way, listen for the voice of K.I.T.T., and see if you recognize Justin Bieber.)

Chris is also distracted by his on the rocks relationship with school teacher girlfriend Ann (Jennifer Ikeda), a sub—lot that does more to distract than illuminate Chris’ character.

The humor is broad and clearly, Chris will never manage to kill Hassel, so the sequences need to be inventive, creative, and outrageously funny. Deciding he wants the prize money himself, Wasserstein sends gay hitman Redix (Colton Dunn) after The Hoff, further complicating Chris’ life. Wasserstein furthers the madness by deciding to save money on the hitman and sends his thug Nick (Dan Bakkedahl) to do the deed. Three men, none able to kill Hasselhoff. A formula for laughs, right?

Sure, there are some laughs and chuckles here and there, but really, it’s just not particularly bad enough to be good or just plain good. The film was shot back in 2014 and has lingered until the release this Tuesday.

Director Darren Grant’s staging of the “accidents’ intended to end Hasselhoff’s life lack verve and he pads his production with topless men and women to distract audiences from how thin this production is.

The DVD looks and sounds fine and the DVD comes with six Deleted Scenes (8:27), none of which would have improved the overall film.

REVIEW: Alien: Covenant

REVIEW: Alien: Covenant

Amazingly, Ridley Scott’s Alien: Covenant opened in June and is already out on video disc. The film’s lackluster reviews and weak box office had 20th Century Home Entertainment get this out to begin bringing in the cash the film failed to generate. The good news is that the movie is better than you were led to believe and the disc’s special features are well worth a look.

Picking up 10 years after Prometheus, this film finally begins to fill in the backstory of the acid-spewing Xenomorphs. The biggest challenge with this entry is that Scott declares in one feature he wanted to scare the shit out of his audience but had to contend with viewers who have had nearly 40 years of chest-bursting, hissing, tail-wagging, nasty bug-like beasties chasing and eating humans. Thankfully, he’s up to the challenge by finding fresh angles and editing techniques to shock his audience even when we’re expecting the set pieces.

In the film, which boats a story from Jack Paglen and Michael Green and screenplay by Dante Harper and John Logan, the USCSS Covenant has landed on the world of Prometheus, discharging its 2000 sleeping colonists on the planet after receiving an S.O.S. from the last film. They find David (Michael Fassbender), the sole survivor, largely because he’s a wickedly clever android and less tasty to the Xenomorphs.

Meantime, Captain Oram (Billy Cudrip), Daniels (Katherine Waterston), her android Walter (Fassbender), Tennessee (Danny McBride) all find themselves reacting to this new, dangerous world, reacting in some interesting and fun ways. Daniels’ husband (James Franco) is among the earliest victims and her processing this sudden loss colors her for the rest of the story.

As you may recall, the Engineers were introduced in that film and now we expands on that

In addition to the Xenomorphs, we get some new creatures — the Hammerpede, the Trilobite, a Mutated Fifield – but they all lack that jaw-dropping wow factor. What is far more impressive are the Neomorphs which are the first glimpse of the Xenomorphs’ origin. David dropped a pathogen into the world’s eco system in the previous film and now it has introduced new life which introduces itself through the anticipated chest-burster moment but Scott wisely upends expectations.

From there, with Xenomorphs on the loose, the body count begins to grow, the blood flows, and it becomes a race to see who will be the last human standing. Visually, the movie is a strong production showing Scott is still an innovative director, even if the story isn’t as strong as it should be. He’s aided by interesting production design and a nice score from Jed Kurzel.

The film is out in the usual assortment of formats and the 1080p high definition transfer to Blu-ray is just lovely. It is well matched with the DTS-HD Master Audio 7.1 (Dolby Atmos was saved for the 4K Ultra HD release).

The film comes with a nice assortment of Special Features including Scott’s Audio Commentary which is informative if not spectacular; Deleted and Extended Scenes (17:58), a dozen pieces that are interesting but not vital to overall film story; Master Class: Ridley Scott (55:25) is the behind the scenes piece, split into four parts; David’s Illustrations, a detailed look at the android’s designs with handwritten annotations so it’s a nice in-world piece; Production Gallery; and two theatrical trailers.

REVIEW: Supergirl: The Complete Second Season

The biggest problem with the DC Comics series on the CW is that they are overstuffed, robbing the title character of the spotlight and forcing them to work as part of a team. The formula can be repetitive and stifling, demanding that the star rise above the noise to get noticed.

As Supergirl moved from CBS where it was a well-reviewed, low-rated buzz series, to the CW, changes had to be made. Calista Flockhart chose not to join the team in Canada so Cat Grant, one of the more interesting members of the cast, was gone but the crappy looking DEO set got a major upgrade.

With Supergirl: The Complete Second Season now available from Warner Home Entertainment, we’re given a chance to evaluate how the sophomore outing went. They certainly aimed high, opening with the inevitable arrival of Supergirl (Melissa Benoist)’s cousin, Superman (Tyler Hoechlin). Of course, once you add a second Kryptonian, you keep expecting them to see one another and partner when the stakes demand it, such as the concluding story arc. Still, his initially appearances were most welcome, a heroic super-hero who actually enjoys his work. The scenes of them flying and fighting crime with big smiles on their faces remain one of the best parts of the uneven season.

Along the way, we had plenty of aliens, both invaders and immigrants and there was an opportunity to use them as metaphors for the immigrant experience in America, but it was largely window and paid lip-service rather than grounding the show. The production team definitely intended this series to be frothy, female-power and little else.

Of the many storylines (too many that come and go with little in the way of proper story development), the best was clearly Alex Danvers (Chyler Leigh) discovering and accepting her sexuality then sharing it with her friends and family. Handled with taste and sensitivity, it stood out. Her growing romance with Maggie Sawyer (Floriana Lima) was certainly the best part of the show.

Considering its called Supergirl, that’s not a good thing. With Cat gone, Kara Danvers needed a purpose and she emulated her cousin, trying to be a journalist for boss Snapper Carr (Ian Gomez). An aside: since Snapper was a one-time supporting character in the Supergirl comics, it makes sense to bring him in; what makes no sense was taking him from scientist to older editor. Why keep the name? With no J-school training, she blunders ahead, making rookie mistakes time and again with little in the way of mentoring.

Over at the DEO, we now have the mystery of the occupant from the end of season one and it turns out to be Mon-El (Chris Wood), a Daxamite which opens the issue of race hatred between worlds, setting up the painful final arc. As Mon-El learns to acclimate himself to Earth, his character is either a sweetheart or an idiot or a jerk, depending on the needs of the story. The inevitable romance with Supergirl is a slow burn, finally ignited in the wonderful Flash musical crossover two-parter.

But we need time to focus on Martian Manhunter (David Harewood) and his romance with Megan along with getting comfortable being an out and proud alien on Earth, working closely with the US President (Lynda Carter). Her reveal later in the season feels silly and the ramifications of aliens easily invading Earth is a thread deserving follow-up on season three and I bet you won’t see it.

The first half of the season is largely the anti-alien schemes of Lillian Luthor (Brenda Strong), strengthening the friendship and alliance between her daughter Lena (Katie McGrath) and Kara. The second half brings Mommy (Teri Hatcher) and Daddy (Kevin Sorbo) El to Earth to bring their son, the Prince, home. When he refuses, Queen Rhea goes nuts, kills her “weak” husband and invades Earth intending to either destroy it or bring her son home.

Throughout the season, we are also treated to Winn Schott (Jeremy Jordan) moving from CatCo to the DEO because apparently, no one else had computer skills. His bromance with James Olsen (Mehcad Brooks) evolves as the latter is tired of being the token non-costumed character and becomes the Guardian, borrowing a character from the comics with no connection to Supergirl. It doesn’t fit the character and is added merely to keep the character in the mix, showing how character bloat harms the cast. More interesting was Winn’s romance with an alien, who is still learning to trust humans.

The Earth vs. Daxam battle was far too concentrated on National City without explaining how this impacted the rest of Earth. Especially with Superman’s tardy appearance and no other heroes on that world (and Supergirl alludes to at least Batman operating in this world). The one-on-one finale was better as was sending Mon-El to the Phantom Zone where he can learn to grow up before coming back for a guest shot.

Kara Zor-El as Supergirl and Kara Danvers has learned a lot but more from observing than actually doing. She was ill-served by writers who have yet to figure out how to use her powers consistently. This was about a young woman coming to accept who she was and how to make a positive impact on the world. That strong season one message was overshadowed by too many alien invasions, too many other heroes, and nowhere near enough time to show, reflect, and grow.

All twenty-two episodes are presented in fine high definition transfers and the Blu-ray set comes with a Digital HD code. The other three parts of the “Invasion!” crossover or the Flash half of their crossover are absent. The fun Supergirl ad promoting Wonder Woman should be here but isn’t.

The discs include a handful of spread out special features including Supergirl: 2016 Comic-Con Panel; Supergirl: Alien Fight Night, Aliens Among Us, A Conversation with Andrew Kreisberg and Kevin Smith, comparing directing this show versus The Flash; Supergirl Lives Audio Commentary from Kreisberg and Smith, and Did You Know facts from the cast and crew for fans. All are entertaining, none are essential.

REVIEW: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

It’s been such a long, dreary summer at the movies that it’s hard to believe the season started with such promise in early May with the release of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 which was a well-deserved box office smash.

A good sequel preserves the best of the original but expands the mythos, explores something new and enhances the experience. A bad sequel merely repeats the original’s beats and goes through the motions. Thankfully, Marvel Studios understands the difference and works to make each installment in a franchise something fresh.

In the case of James Gunn, he saw early on how special and different Guardians of the Galaxy was going to be and knew how to go further with the sequel, reportedly beginning writing it before the first opened. Gunn brought the disparate members — Star Lord (Chris Pratt), Gamora (Zoe Saldana), Drax (David Bautista), Rocket (voiced by Bradley Cooper, motion capture by Sean Gunn), and Groot (voiced by Vin Diesel) – together and turned them into a family.

Family weighs heavily on the team as we pick up months later in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 as Star Lord gets to meet his father, Ego (Kurt Russell), Gamora is hunted down by her foster sister Nebula (Karen Gillan), and Drax laments the absence of his daughter, opening up for the first time. The film, out now from Disney Home Entertainment, balances these threads against the galaxy once more hunting them down.

After all, the team is found taking jobs to pay their debts including rescuing extremely valuable batteries. However, their pay this time was not money but the surrender of Nebula. When Rocket steals property belonging to the Sovereign People, its leader, Ayesha (Elizabeth Debicki), sends her army after them. The space battle results with them landing on Berhert, hunted by Yondu (Michael Rooker), now on the outs with the Ravagers. There, they meet Ego and Peter Quill finally can learn of his past.

What he finds is at first fascinating until he comes to recognize that his father may be powerful, but the eons of isolation also made him quite mad. Then comes a final revelation that pits father against son setting up the cosmic climax.

Everyone gets something to do and shows off how capable they are on their own, but of course, we see how much better they are when together as this is now their chosen family. We get to meet Ego’s “ward” Mantis (newcomer Pom Klementieff), an empathic innocent who forms an odd bond with Drax. Baby Groot, when not stealing every scene he is in, is another sort of innocent, eager to please, but still learning how to make the right decisions and with Rocket as his mentor, that’s not always a good thing.

In addition to Ayesha, we also get a glimpse of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s version of the original Guardians, here a band of Ravagers led by Sylvester Stallone’s Stakar Ogord; Michael Rosenbaum as Martinex, Ving Rhames as Charlie-27, Michelle Yeoh as Stakar’s female counterpart Aleta Ogord, Krugarr, and Mainframe (voiced by Miley Cyrus).

The humor and action quotients are high with the latter somewhat prolonged beyond necessity but overall, the film is very entertaining and a satisfying entry. It ends with some hints of the team’s eventual connection to next summer’s Avengers: Infinity War, but it stands strongly on its own.

The movie has been released in the latest iteration of the popular Combo Pack, now boasting 4K Blu-ray, Blu-ray, and Digital HD.  A featureless DVD version remains available. The Blu-ray transfer is superb with sharp colors and retaining the rich rainbow of worlds and effects seen in the theater. Word elsewhere is that the 4K/HDR UHD, presented at 2160p is amazing. The Dolby Atmos soundtrack is equally impressive.

The Combo Pack comes with a 1970s’ style mini-poster that plays off one of the better special features. We get Gunn’s Visionary Intro (1:39) then the four-part Bonus Round: The Making of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2:  In the Director’s Chair with James Gunn (8:36), Reunion Tour: The Music of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (7:37), Living Planets and Talking Trees: The Visual Effects of Vol. 2 (10:44), and Showtime: The Cast of Vol. 2 (10:41). Like the film itself, it is lightweight designed more to entertain than enlighten.

The highlight is the Guardians Inferno by The Sneepers(3:35) as David Hasselhoff and the cast remake a 1970s-era music video with cheesy edits, costumes, and video tape editing tricks that nicely recreates the feel. Clearly the cast, notably, Gillan, is having a blast. Look for the fun cameo at the end.

There’s the Gag Reel (3:41) and Deleted Scenes (5:04), featuring Adolescent Groot Extended, Memorial to the War on Xandar, Kraglin and Quill Talk Tunes, and Mantis and Drax Feel the Sadness Extended.

Finally, there’s Gunn’s Audio Commentary.

REVIEW: Lucifer: the Complete Second Season

Interestingly, Fox licensed DC Comics’ interpretation of Lucifer, made remarkable first in the Sandman series and then in his own six year eponymous ongoing series. The First of the Fallen, he has abandoned his role as ruler of Hell and has come to Earth to run a piano bar, which is where the ongoing series opened. The series explored the themes of free will and individual willpower while challenging the “tyranny of predestination”. Under writer Mike Carey, it was a moody and fascinating study of humanity.

The network series, which debuted as a midseason replacement in spring 2016, ignored all of the trappings and set him up as a police consultant who saw a shrink, and was annoyed by his brother. Somehow, it clicked with audiences and came back for a full eighteen episode run. Now, Warner Home Entertainment has released Lucifer: The Complete Second Season in separate Blu-ray and DVD packages.

Much of the show’s success rests on Tom Ellis’ winning performance as Lucifer Morningstar. Largely unknown in America, Ellis is a huge British star thanks to his run on the famous EastEnders prime time soap. He clearly delights in playing the devil and enlivens his scenes going from good fellow to very dangerous within a blink.

He has found himself working with LAPD Detective Chloe Decker (Lauren German), who suspects something is off about this annoying man but is stuck with him. And much as Castle and Beckett fell in love, this season brings the two together. German’s slow acceptance of this is strong and as she discussed in the special features, they complement one another, each learning something new about themselves in the process. The season is bookended with Lucifer’s attempts to reveal his true nature to her without success/

Complicating the new season is the arrival of Lucifer’s mother, who has escaped from her hellish prison. She is feared and discussed for most of the season opener before we finally meet her and she is, ahem, hot in the form of Tricia Helfer. “Mom” has come to Earth and is inhabiting the body of the recently deceased lawyer Charlotte.  Like her son, she too fell from Grace and she is hunting him down, considering her son a traitor in need of a lesson. Of course, he has a flaming sword so there’s that.

Also arriving this season is forensic scientist Ella Lopez (Aimee Garcia), who is brilliant, quirky, and works without a filter, making her highly amusing.

As with similar shows, the case of the week tends to be less interesting than the character arcs, especially Lucifer as he deepens his relationship with Chloe and continues to receive arch advice from Dr. Linda (Rachel Harris), who seems either delighted or nonplussed to be counseling angels and demons. That is, with the exception of Charlotte who threatens her for information.

Among her clients is Mazekeen (Lesley-Ann Brandt), seeking a purpose now that she is stuck on Earth. She becomes a bounty hunter, not letting her friendship with Lucifer interfere with her charging him for her services when asked to track Amenadiel (D. B. Woodside) and Charlotte. Ah, brother Amenadiel. He still doesn’t grok humanity. He loves Lucifer and feels obligated to clean up after him, starting with telling Chloe that he’s nuts, to protect his true nature. Over the season, he loves his wings and power and feels punished and directionless on Earth. Complicating matters is the revelation that he was God’s favorite and what that means. Chloe thinks that means God’s a manipulative, bad parent, which is refreshing.

Charlotte, though, is a wild card all season, increasingly a threat to the fragile status quo which builds to a nice season conclusion, setting up the third season. Interestingly, the final four episodes from this season were created but held off until this fall.

The show is engaging and lightweight fun, one of a type. It could have been something really interesting; atmospheric, gothic and edgy and far more distinctive. As a result, this is perfectly fine, eminently disposal fare.

The DVD set comes with all the episodes complete with deleted scenes, some of which are quite good and worth a look, notably some scenes with D. B. Woodside. There are additional special features including Lucifer: 2016 Comic-Con Panel, the requisite Gag Reel, and Reinventing Lucifer in the City of Angels, where the cast and producers talk about how LA is the perfect setting for a fallen angel, and the rest of humanity, to come and start afresh.

 

Box Office Democracy: Annabelle: Creation

There’s a part of me that can’t help but admire the whole Conjuring franchise.  They have their main series movies directed by James Wan and starring Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson, huge stars for mid-budget horror movies, and then in the off-years they can make these spin-off movies like the Annabelle movies or the two forthcoming spin-offs from The Conjuring 2 and just harvest money from their big ideas using lower budgets and less-known talent.  It’s brilliant.  It doesn’t make for a particularly good movie in this case, but I can’t knock the hustle.

Annabelle: Creation is supposed to be a prequel to explain the origins of the haunted doll from The Conjuring.  Interestingly, three years ago they released Annabelle which was also an attempt to tell the origin of the same haunted doll and it started with the titular doll being a mundane non-evil object.  They have to go a long way to make this movie work with the second one and I’m not sure why you would bother as you have an infinite amount of time in the future where you could set this film.  Worse, they set up an even further prequel suggesting that the origin of the demon nun from The Conjuring 2 lies even further in the past.  At this rate we’re sure to have a movie about how a demon-possessed rodent pooped out the seed that grew the tree from which Annabelle would one day be carved.

It’s hard to say what Annabelle: Creation brings to the horror table that wasn’t already there.  It’s a movie about a young girl targeted for possession by a terrible demon and I feel like I’ve seen that story 100 times in the last five years.  It’s a group of orphans in a haunted house this time, that feels new.  It does pose a lot of questions like “if this guy didn’t want to be nice to kids why did he invite six of them to live in his house?” There’s a nun living with them so there’s a more present clerical authority figure but they do seem to have found a nun that does not care at all if small children are screaming in the middle of the night, maybe the ghost is deafening her or something.  Other than that it’s fairly standard fare, people getting haunted, other people not believing that it’s happening, sudden escalation when the movie realizes it’s running out of film.  Wash, rinse, repeat— but this kind of error is mostly bloodless, so you don’t even need to pretreat.

There’s a reasonable sized subplot about a haunted scarecrow that is so out of place in this movie I wonder if it’s an artifact from a movie that ended up being scrapped.  It doesn’t fit with the rest of the movie or the franchise and doesn’t even interact with any of the main characters.  It’s like they paid for the effects work and never made a full-length scarecrow movie and plugged it in here to fill the run time.  A substantial part of the third act is spent with a supporting character running away from a demon scarecrow and it’s a character that isn’t even likable.  I suppose I didn’t want to see anyone killed by evil farm equipment but this was a character who spend most of the previous 80 minutes making life difficult for a girl with polio and her friend.  The strangest part was there were characters I cared much more about who were dealt with quickly and off-screen to make room for this other stuff.  I bet a demon scarecrow could kill all sorts of people.  Or even that a demon with vast telekinetic powers wouldn’t need to inhabit a body made of straw to do work.

The effects are maddeningly inconsistent.  There’s some great work with creeping shadows and some character design with the demon.  There is also an entire sequence that’s supposed to be scary that I believe was just done with a person standing under a sheet.  Having an unmoving doll show up in a lot of places like a creepier version of Droopy is somehow less impressive in a modern horror movie than it was in a 1940s cartoon.  The movie still gets scares in, but they’re more through atmosphere and score than through anything that feels innovative or fun.

It’s hard to come up with a context in which I would recommend anyone else see Annabelle: Creation.  Like, if you absolutely had to see a horror movie and it was the only one you had access to due to some combination of geographic circumstance and catastrophic internet outage it’s certainly a horror movie.  Or if you’re a Conjuring superfan and want to get all the references they’ll seed from this in to next year’s The Nun or whatever comes out after that.  Other than that it’s basically impossible.  You would have more fun with most of what you could drag up on Netflix or whatever comes out in a month, or just doing something else for two hours.

REVIEW: Riverdale The Complete First Season

Originally, Archie Andrews and his pals at Riverdale High reflected the codification of teenage life, as they had more leisure time and disposable income. Once it hit big, the comic series and its infinite number of spinoffs, became stuck in amber, barely trying to keep up with changing trends (other than fashion) or concerns for teens. By the 2000s, the entire company was on the ropes, increasingly irrelevant in a rapidly changing world.

In comics, they threw a Hail Mary, revamping the writing and art, making the characters look and act in contemporary ways. Thanks to Mark Waid, Adam Hughes, Chip Zdarsky, and a few others, the characters were suddenly cool once more. The company’s product mix suddenly had the classic digest reprints, the new look, some Zombie title and they were saved.

During all this, Greg Berlanti brought his magic touch, bringing the comic to the CW, working with Archie’s Chief Creative Officer Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, to reimagine the gals and pals. What we got was the thirteen episode Riverdale series which twisted the classic figures beyond recognition as they largely avoided the real issues teens confront today in favor of the tried-and-true murder mystery arc.

I’ve taught sophomores so I can say with some assurance the 10th graders on the show do not look, speak, or act like the ones in my classroom. They are worried about grades, college, money, sports, social media, video games, and each other. On this show, the students apparently never have homework or test pressure nor did the looming PSATs cause a single one to break a sweat. The thread about the jocks’ notebook keeping score on the girls was good but its consequences never were seen.

Also, the casting brings a new bevy of attractive men and women to the network, asking them to play teenagers and, like Smallville, it doesn’t work. KJ Apa is way too old to plausibly play a 15 year old. Most of his peers look younger and are (mostly) more believable.

It also must be a network rule that no one on the series can be older than 50 so you have an overly youthful faculty and administration – no variety and no wisdom to be shared. That, apparently, has to come from the parents and they’re a sorry, messy lot. Most grew up in Riverdale so the rivalries and unrequited loves remain simmering beneath the surface but with the exception of Fred Andrews (Luke Perry), not appear good at parenting.

Tonally, the series is flat without vibrant doses of teenage humor mixed in with the angst of puberty as they grow into their adult selves. Archie is the everyman, kind hearted and good-natured, but a royal klutz that you can’t help but adore. At least he’s like that in print.  Here, he’s a buff athlete with the heart of a songwriter, who eagerly engages in an affair with Miss Grundy (Sarah Habel), who, of course, was not really Miss Grundy.

Spoiled rich girl Veronica (Camila Mendes) arrives in Riverdale, our focal point to learn about her new home, but she’s out to reinvent herself as a better person. Thankfully, her steel hasn’t melted entirely as she comes to the aid of her new friends time and again. Along the way, she has bonded with Betty Cooper (Lili Reinhart), the girl next door. However, she’s on Adderall and under pressure to be perfect, being strangled by her over-protective mother (Mädchen Amick), who is petrified of losing her as she has lost her oldest girl, Polly (Tiera Skovbye), now in a “facility”.

Polly, it seems, had a romance with the now-dead Jason Blossom (Trevor Stines), something that shattered her, or so we’re told through most of the season. Who kiiled Jason? The investigation, which could have been used to shed a light on the underside of the town, is an intermittent thread with way too many other soap elements added. About the one person who seems aware of it all is Jughead Jones (Cole Sprouse), who has gone from hamburger munching slacker to budding novelist and professional cynic. Often it is Jughead who carries the meandering plots from one set of characters to another, leading Betty and then the gang on the investigation.

The final two episodes wrap up the murder of poor, creepy Jason and shift to new threads, setting up the second season and then, because Berlanti can’t seem to help himself, ends on a cliffhanger with poor Fred shot.

It is not remotely similar to the comics – new or old – and seems designed to let Berlanti retread his first hits with Dawson’s Creek and Everwood. Now, those themes and issues from these shows are frozen in time, robbing Riverdale from being a successful adaptation of the comic or an updated look at today’s teens.

The three-disc set includes all thirteen episodes and most come with a handful of deleted scenes, some of which are missed from making the characters more interesting. There are a number of special features including the Riverdale: 2016 Comic-Con Panel; Riverdale: The New Normal, a chance for the producers to justify their choices; Riverdale: The Ultimate Sin, “I Got You” and “These Are Moments I Remember” musical videos; and a Gag Reel.

 

REVIEW: King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

REVIEW: King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

There just may have been a real King Arthur in the sixth century of what is today England. Or, he may have been a legend the fractured country needed to help give it a cultural identity. Either way, that legendary figure of story and song would be horrified to see what Guy Ritchie has done in his name.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword was a troubled production, heavily promoted, and lengthily delayed until it opened to withering reviews and poor box office. Now available on home video from Warner Home Entertainment, it is a troubling view of Arthur.

Real or not, he was reinterpreted for the needs of the country (and later portions of Europe) across the centuries with characters coming and going, victories of varying degrees, and epic romances until there was just Arthur and Guinevere. As we have come to know the legend, he was a moral character, born a bastard, and the right man in the right place at the right time when England needed a savior. And when he died, he was carried off to Avalon to return when the country needed him once more.

Instead, writer/director Ritchie along with screenwriters Joby Harold and Lionel Wigram (from a story by David Dobkin and Harold), little is recognizable. The names are familiar but the trappings and arrangement of events bears no resemblance to any previous retelling of the legend. Instead of a story of love, betrayal, and uniting England, this is reduced to a good versus evil story.

King Uther (Eric Bana) is betrayed by his corrupt brother Vortigern (Jude Law), who usurps the throne, aware that the true heir, young Arthur, has escaped on a boat. Like Moses, he is found and raised by others and he grows to become a member of the Londinium lower class, uninterested in power or the throne. But Vortigern has insisted all men of age try to lift Excalibur from the stone and Arthur (Charlie Hannum) finds himself next in line. However, his two-fisted grip unleashes both power and unbearable nightmares, adding a psychological twist to the tale.

He is rescued from certain death by a band led by Sir Bedivere (Djimon Hounsou) and an outlaw mage (Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey). Bit by bit, Arthur is forced, pushed, and told he must confront his destiny, accept the sword and the power or Vortigern will destroy the world.

Vortigern does despicable things to people he loves but since they are merely window dressing we have no real emotional connection the heinous acts. None of the characters, really, come to life as none are explored in any depth, including Arthur himself who half the time appears to be a spectator rather than participant.

After that there’s plenty of energy hurled about, sword play, betrayal, and plenty of somber music. There’s just no joy amidst the cacophony or respect for the source material. The Arthur Ritchie wants us to accept is a reluctant hero, unwilling to do what he must until there is no choice left. Most of the trappings, from Merlin to Morgan le Fay, all absent as this was intended as the first in a cycle of films, which will now never be made given the utter failure of this one.

Ritchie’s signature touch is largely absent here, save for two exposition scenes that show more energy than the rest of the film. What should have been glorious and grand was reduced to look weak and ill-conceived.

The film has been released in the usual variety of formats and the high definition transfer at 1080p, AVC-encoded Blu-ray is perfectly acceptable if not spectacular. Sort of like the film itself. The Dolby Atmos track is equally capable.

The handful of special features careful avoids the legend and the massive changes made for this misfire of a fil. You have Arthur with Swagger (9:41); Sword from the Stone (18:49); Parry and Bleed (5:44); Building on the Past (14:00); Inside the Cut: The Action of King Arthur (6:08); Camelot in 93 Days (10:23); Legend of Excalibur (6:05); and, Scenic Scotland (5:33). These are perfunctory and not especially revelatory.

Box Office Democracy: The Dark Tower

I wonder if it bothers Stephen King that his 54 novels and 200 short stories have produced exactly one great movie.  (Two if you count The Shining, and you probably shouldn’t, considering the very public feud between author and director.)  We have the greatest pulp author of a generation, perhaps of all time, and he just keeps sending his ideas off to Hollywood to die.  I don’t mean to turn the man in to too much of a martyr; he keeps cashing the checks, so he knows what this is.  But to see The Dark Tower, the sprawling thirty year epic he wrote threading through so much of his work, turn in to a pale reflection on the silver screen must sting worse than most.  The Dark Tower is probably the best attempt we’ll ever see to turn a 4,000 page story in to a 90 minute movie, but also maybe no one should ever try that again.  There just isn’t room for any nuance.

I’ve never read any of the Dark Tower novels and I’ve never felt particularly tempted.  I understand that this movie is a sequel of sorts to the books and also that it tries to tell a fair bit of the overarching plot of the novels in this 95 minute movie.  I don’t understand how both of those things can be true but there’s no possible way this is a reasonable adaptation of eight Stephen King novels, that man writes a dense book.  I appreciate that this isn’t anything like the Peter Jackson Hobbit movies and they didn’t turn this in to an endless stream of movies with endless amounts of exposition until I feel like I’ve been ground to dirt.  The Dark Tower, for all of its other faults, has a sense of tempo that is lost with books by directors that make movies like an overly defensive book report needing to prove they did the reading.  I always felt The Dark Tower wanted to get to the next scene and wanted to be entertaining.  It didn’t always succeed but it was trying.

Of course, I can’t tell you anything about what this movie was about.  There’s the eponymous tower and it’s good that it’s there but some bad guys who are basically all Vincent D’Onofrio from Men In Black are trying to use psychic children to destroy the tower.  The first half of the movie has a fairly compelling plot about family and trust but that just completely falls away.  It ends up just being a boy (Tom Taylor) hanging out with The Gunslinger (Idris Elba) in a barren dessert world that looks an awful lot like a studio backlot but according to the credits was South Africa.  Occasionally an evil sorcerer (Matthew McConaughey) will turn up and make everything interesting but they try to keep him as far away from the action as they can.  Probably because it’s all building to a confrontation that takes less than three minutes.

Matthew McConaughey seems like he was basically born to play a slick Stephen King villain.  He has the honeyed way of American speaking that I always tried to do in my head when someone was trying to talk someone in to giving up their soul for a trinket or whatever.  He’s playing a rather generic villain here, I presume because the intricacies of licensing made The Man in Black a little smaller than his literary equivalent (I don’t know how I know so much about this character despite never reading the books but here we are).  He shows up to be menacing and he backs up his bluster by being very mean to his subordinates and characters who are no longer useful.  He’s like a Saturday morning cartoon villain that can actually kill people.

Idris Elba is a talented actor given no chance to act.  The Gunslinger is every gruff hero you’ve ever seen in anything ever.  He doesn’t want to form emotional attachments and he doesn’t want to talk about why that is.  He’s very good at shooting things and there’s solid work given to showcasing that talent but it’s a waste of Idris Elba.  All they needed from Elba was a look and while he looks amazing (he’s a handsome man) there’s no there there.

I’ve seen something like 250 movies since I started reviewing them in 2012 and I’ve learned a little bit about good movies and a lot about bad movies.  The Dark Tower is a bad movie but it’s a great bad movie.  It isn’t excruciating to watch, it has the sense to be short, and there’s always something to pay attention to even if the story is bland nonsense.  They put a giant amusement park sign that said “Pennywise” and I was on edge for a whole scene that had literally no other content.  The Dark Tower is the kind of bad movie that you can walk out of feeling refreshed, remarking to yourself that it “wasn’t really as bad as people said” and while it might not be true it feels better than the movies where you can’t wait for the lights to come up.