Author: Marc Alan Fishman

MARC ALAN FISHMAN: “We Interrupt This Snark for a Shameless Plug”

Hello all. I thought I’d change things up a tad today… and not just tear into a character, creator, or comic that drives me bonkers. I figured instead it’d be fun to discuss a comic I actually love. OK, this may not actually count. Why? It’s my comic.

Unshaven Comics is my studio/self-publishing/merchandising pet project, alongside my brothers-from-other-mothers, Matt Wright and Kyle Gnepper. Back in 2006 we were lucky fuckers who were given a shot to make a book for an actual publisher. I won’t get into the details, but suffice to say we learned more lessons than we earned dollars. We wouldn’t trade that experience in for the world; especially because it’s how we came to meet Mike Gold. That’s not where the story ends though. In fact, it’s where it all begins.

Having finished a project on someone else’s terms, Unshaven Comics looked around for someone else to work for. Unlucky for us, publishing a tiny educational comic book about immigration isn’t the way to get on anyone’s radar. Thus, we looked inward. Why do a book for someone when you can do one for yourself, right? If comics aren’t going to pay our bills, it might as well be something we give a damn about. Thus, Disposable Razors was born. Pie-eyed, we pitched it to Mike. “Anthologies? They don’t sell.” And like happy drunks, we just kept on keeping on.

Disposable Razors conceptually isn’t a hard sell. For us? It’s an exercise. A single issue to tell a single story that leaves enough of a world developed that should we care to return to it, we can. Issue 1 was Kyle’s baby, Chasing Daylight, wherein a group of four guys learn about the frailty of friendship by way of a demon. Issue 2 was fishtastic: Iron Side: Living Will, wherein a retired geriatric superhero straps up his boots on one last mission before he meets his maker. And as I sit here looking at it… Issue 3 is now a reality as well. This time around the three of Unshaven lads really worked as a team (with Kyle penning half, Matt painting said half, and crazy me writing and drawing the other half). Issue #3 is homage to our childhoods. I need only give you the pitch on this one. The Samurnauts™! Astronaut Samurai led by an immortal Kung-Fu monkey fighting evil demon dinosaurs. I can’t even type that without smiling a little.

A recent exchange with my friends at ComicMix posed an interesting question. “What exactly are you looking for, Unshaven Comics?” In our wildest dreams, Marvel or DC comes to us and says “Hey, how about we give you a shot.” In our less-but-not-really-cause-it’d-be-amazing dreams, Image, Avatar, Boom or Dynamite comes to us and says “Hey, how about we give you a shot.” But in the real world? DC isn’t calling. Marvel ain’t either. Avatar and the like are after licenses, and their creative teams are generally established. Trust me, this kind of talk from me even two years ago, wouldn’t happen. I’m an admitted dreamer. But, getting married? A kid on the way? It has a knack for opening the bigger picture to a guy.

Unshaven Comics was founded because at the time, our early 20s, we had our future at our fingertips. We knew the traditional routes into comics. Matt could have easily made a portfolio, pitched himself to editors at con after con, and if he was lucky? Land a gig doing a backup in an annual. Once. And Kyle? Getting into comics as a writer is about as easy as… well… getting into comics as a writer. And me? A jack of all trades, a master at none. I can color. I can letter. I fancy myself a writer. And if I put my mind to it? I can pencil and ink. If I were lucky, a publisher might use me in a pinch (cough, The Original Johnson, Volume 2). But I digress… Like I said, we were founded on the idea that if we were to make it into the industry, it was all for one, and one for all. Insane? You bet your ass. But we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Doing our own books means I have to hang up the snark gloves and ask myself what I want to see in a comic. With backs against the wall, and your soul for sale for five bucks a pop, whilst sitting at a six foot table in the midst of real professionals? It’s exhilarating. And with every sale to a stranger, a knot in my stomach forms. Will they like it? Are fooling ourselves? Does the book look professional enough? Oh my god, is there a typo?

Sometimes, the reactions we get astound us. We had a girl buy book 1 on a Friday. She came back to the table on Saturday gushing. She bought book 2. Other times? We get slapped right in the jaws. Johanna Draper Carlson of “Comics Worth Reading” stopped by our table last year. She flipped through the issue and a long frown came upon her face. “This is just… not good. But I like your logo!” And she was off. She tripped a little over our now dead egos, and moved on. I could wax poetic as to why I think our comics are the bee’s knees… but frankly I’m the artist. Too close to my work to know if I should just be reading them, not writing them.

For the last five years I have given up a social life. Both my and Matt’s amazing wives have allowed their husbands to spend near every hour that isn’t at work, eating, pooping or sleeping… making comic books. Disposable Razors #3 in fact, was near 225 work-hours, last I counted. And those hours? Not 9 to 5. That’s every night after working day jobs. It’s weekends not spent relaxing on a couch, or watching a movie. From taking reference shots, scripting, penciling, inking, coloring, lettering, editing, reediting and prepping the book to print? The last four months of our life have been nothing short of exhausting. All for 36 quickly read pages of art and words. We’re tired. We’re cranky. We’re hoping people buy it, and don’t spit on us.

And we’ll do it all again tomorrow. Why? Because, when you’re living the dream, you never want to wake up.

SUNDAY: John Ostrander

MARC ALAN FISHMAN: X-Men – Built By The McMansion of Ideas

Wikipedia (truly the only place to learn stuff these days) defines McMansion as “a pejorative term for a large new house which is judged as pretentious, tasteless, or badly designed for its neighborhood.” When I read that term, one comic franchise comes to mind. Color me snarky this morning, kiddos, but I feel the need to rant about those kooky carnival clowns known as the X-Men. Let me go tape up my fists and put in my mouth guard. This one’s gonna get ooogly.

I’ve little doubt when Stan and Jack (I’ve no right to call them that, but screw it…) created the titular teens with wonky talents, it was done for a reason. More than DC, Marvel’s characters come pre-baked with personal turmoil. Peter Parker, the every-nerd… Bruce Banner, the mild-mannered man who can’t get mad… and who would not list Hank Pym, the small-then-big-then-small-then-big wife-beating man-of-science? The X-Men were no different. Here we had basically innocent kids being picked on and ostracized for being not normal. Make any parable of that you want. Black? Gay? Bi-sexual? Transgendered? Jewish? OK, probably not Jewish. More to the point though… in the beginning, the X-Men were a fantastic concept, anchored by amazing art. Of course they were a direct rip-off of the Doom Patrol, but let’s not get into that argument. Since their humble start in the funnies, the X-Men have since become a continuity-hampered, impossible to follow nightmare.

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MARC ALAN FISHMAN: It’s Not Easy Being Green… Wait … Yes It Is!

MARC ALAN FISHMAN: It’s Not Easy Being Green… Wait … Yes It Is!

Welcome back to my angry little corner of the Interwebs, folks. Since my column last week seemed to find some harmonious affinity amongst the fine folks reading, I figured I’d continue riding my snarky-train one more week. Don’t fret, I’ve got plenty of anger to dispense at Marvel, Image, Todd MacFarlane, Rob Liefeld, Robert Kirkman, and the new Voltron show on Nickelodeon.

For today, though? I’m shining my hate-fueled lantern of justice on my favorite hero. Yes my friends, this li’l rant is on Green Lantern. Let’s start appropriately, shall we?

In Brightest Day,
In Blackest Night,
Hal Jordan beamed as he soared in flight,
The other lanterns can’t seem to be
Treated just as equally.
Rayner’s got heart,
And Garnder’s got ‘tude,
And John Stewart’s still the one black dude…
Geoff Johns and the DC Elite,
Think the Silver Age is totally neat!
But Sinestro now wears the crown,
For a few months, until sales are down.
Then Jordan’s back, to fight all fears,
And retcon the last two damned years!

The summer before my Bar Mitzvah I was hauled off to a Jewish summer camp, where my bunkmate loaned me his copies of the Green Lantern. Rayner, the newly crowned emerald knight, was DC’s answer to Peter Parker. An every-kid who had actual fun being a superhero. Long story short? It sold me on comics. Soon thereafter, I declared him my BFF in fiction, and I’ve maintained a subscription to the Green Lantern books since the mid-to-late 90s. Not to be just a one-Lantern guy, I’ve since read tons of stories starring (amongst others…) Hal Jordan. I even own the first volume of his “archived” appearances. Suffice to say, I “get” Hal and why he’s the number one ring bearer. From his cocksure attitude to his “not the black guy, Irish guy, or 90s kid with stubble and girl problems” whiteyness, he’s the model DCU hero. An inoffensive guy with a “this was cool in the 60s” secret identity, who Geoff Johns could angst up. I guess the question to ask here is simple: Is Hal Jordan any better than Barry Allen right now?
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MARC ALAN FISHMAN: Flash Fact – Barry Allen Sucks!

Flash (Barry Allen)

Image via Wikipedia

Hello all you crazy-awesome ComicMix fans. For those who don’t know me (and when you share a space with guys like Mike Gold, John Ostrander, Martha Thomases, Michael Davis, Denny O’Neil, and Mindy Newell? I don’t blame you!) allow me to introduce myself by way of witty, snarky banter. I figured if I am to come out of the gate anew with a comic focused op-ed piece, I might as well start by swinging for the fences. So, let me point to the rafters over center field, and take the biggest swing I can.

Simply put: DC’s Flashpoint is a ten-pound turd in a five gallon bowl.

I use this nasty language, mind you, because I “covered” the event for a podcast I do from time to time… and have spent my hard earned dollars on this bloated excuse to sell toys, and piss off fans.

In June, DC boldly told the world they are “star-wiping” their universe to engage the next era of fans, by removing that pesky continuity. So, while those new and shiny number ones are getting printed, why not release yet-another-epic-that-will-change-the-universe-as-we-know-it™ event? “Flashpoint” was to turn the DCU on its ears. It chortles in every issue with its logo emblazoned on the title card, that it gives us a world where “everything you know has changed in a flash…” My ass. What they’ve done instead, is created an unnecessary mega-crisis for no better reason than “going out with a bang”. So for all us fans who don’t mind a little history to go with our comics… we’re treated to DC choosing to end their current universe’s life on yet-another-Crisis.

In a nutshell, Flashpoint is DC’s attempt at taking an obvious Elseworlds story and shoehorning it into continuity. I honestly don’t care how many well-produced interviews they have Dan DiDio do celebrating the ‘ground breaking’ idea. I don’t care how many Newsarama, Comic Book Resources, or Bleeding Cool articles are written kissing the ass of all the creators involved (and yes, all three have since reviewed many of the series’ minis very poorly). To tell the fans that this event will matter, is akin to the DCU toking up a massive joint, and blowing the Funion fumes right in our face in hopes we’ll get the munchies. I’ve not seen better hype for a dumber product since The Phantom Menace.

On DCU’s “The Source” blog, they asked some hard hitting questions to this effect:

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‘Thor’ Movie Annotations

walt-simonson-louise-simonson-ralph-macchio-thor-268x450-7099929With [[[Thor]]] taking the number one spot in box office receipts for the second week in a row, we must consider one of two options:

  1. There are a lot of people going back to stare at Chris Hemsworth, Kat Dennings, and Jaimie Alexander, or…
  2. People are hunting for all the Easter eggs and hidden bits in the film.

And so verily, we come to you, ComicMixers, with this list of notes, eggs of Easter, and bits of magic you may have missed when you were recently gazing upon the God of Thunder! Have at thee! Here is the Odin-list of annotations from the recent film released by the Studios of Marvel, of the humble Midgard. Did you catch of these visages, mortal? Let us find out! Huzzah!

Warning: spoilers from this point forward. You’ve been warned.

Unshaven Comics: Messing Up Super People Because We Love You

Call it a bit of shameless cross promotion… but we beardly blokes of Unshaven Comics wanted to hip ya’ll to the craziness we’re spreading on our website this month. In case you missed it, last month we featured “Mixed Up March“, where we lads (well, Matt Wright mostly, but I jumped into the fracas at the end) decided to swap the genders of some of our favorite comic book heroes and villains. And this month? The craziness continues with our newly announced “April Addition Armageddon” where we smash together two characters from different universes.

Want to see some of the fun? Then hop on over to Unshaven Comics’ website and enjoy the laughter.

Congratulations to Erfworld, Winner of Mix March Madness!

Big ups to our friends over at Erfworld for taking home the title last week in our first ever ComicMix Mix March Madness webcomic tournament. The wizards, witches, goblins, and noble knights slayed the adorable Gronk, in a bitter battle to the end.

We apologize for not raising Erfworld over our heads in championship glory sooner… but there was April’s Fool, so no one would believe it if we posted, and then we had to wash our hair, and we swear, our dogs ate the first draft of the story!

Anywho… Congratulations to Xin Ye and Rob Balder for besting all their competition. Good work Erf-lovers… you carry the crown– until the next bloody battles!

Edgar Wright Picks His Ant-Man… Meet Jack Black.

jack-black1-150x147-2599660

Edgar Wright, director of such nerd-worthy hits like Shawn of the Dead, and the recent not-so-blockbusting Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, has come forward with some interesting news on his next flick. The Dorset, England native did a little name dropping to Variety early this morning. “Hollywood knows my track record with the comic-book cultists… but it seems with the less than stellar box office take for Pilgrim meant I’d have to take a real leap in casting my next star. Luckily for me, I had Jack in my back pocket.” And with that, the cat was let out of the bag. For Wright’s soon to be finished script for Marvel’s Ant-Man being pushed into production, he was quick to drop this bit of casting news to help build early buzz.

Wright’s script, utilizing the director’s quick wit, is in his words, “a real tongue in cheek kind of deal.” He went on to comment “I mean, I really didn’t think Hank Pym was movie material, unless we wanted a comedy about beating your tiny wife…”. The near-approved draft will have Jack Black starring as former thief turned superhero Scott Lang.

“I’m just jazzed about getting Jack on board. His range of emotions, his physicality, and his vocal prowess as a rock singer just really vibe with me. There’s so much to work with here. How could I not be excited?” Wright finished up his comments with a little teaser. “Since Jack signed on, I couldn’t help myself… there WILL be a musical number towards the end of the film, that will easily put my Ant-Man teeny heads and shoulders above anything they’re doing on any other superhero flick. I mean, Spider-Man 3 didn’t really gel with the fans until the little dance number they had in the second act, right? I mean that movie was Marvel’s best comedy to date, and I plan on topping it.”

New Info Leaked on ‘Marvel Vs. DC 2′

While at the C2E2 retailers summit a few weeks ago, a few details fans might be excited to find out about were accidentally leaked. At a DC Nation panel, the mid-western retailers were shown a few slides of “in-production” artwork, and DC’s Jim Lee and Dan DiDio were teleconferenced in with Marvel’s Axel Alonso to prime the pump for the 2011 summer event. While cameras and laptops were forced off before the event, a few local shop owners emerged from the panel with some juicy tidbits. Here’s the skinny:

• Current Marvel heavyweight Matt Fraction will be penning the five part mini-series with co-plotters J.T. Krul and Tony Bedard from DC. All that was said was “Access (from Marvel Vs. DC 1) returns a far more powerful man than when we left him.” Krul said. “He finds a way to tap into the power cosmic and gets his mitts on the White Lantern… but that’s really only the catalyst to it all.”

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Wonder Woman TV Costume: Wonderful or Wonder Why-Oh-Why!?

In case you’ve been at a con, under a rock, or recently kicking your 5-a-day Fabergé Egg habit… the brothers Warner and Mr. David E. Kelley have released a photo (err.. now 2 and then some, thanks to our pals at io9) of the forthcoming Wonder Woman television series costume. Part classic Wonder Woman, part updated comic book costume, part stripper costume? Well, I’m no Alan Kistler (of Newsarama’s Agent of S.T.Y.L.E., and ComicMix fame) … but let’s break it down:

• Starting at the top, we get new Diana-Prince-In-Waiting Adrianne Palicki’s ebony locks pushed behind a fairly classic headband.  While less of a tiara than the Lynda Carter era costume, we still have a nice throwback here. I’d like to note though, the Wonder Woman I think of is a natural beauty, and when I see the bright red lipstick and pink cheeks here, all I can think of is “Homer! You had it set to whore!”. If we look at the studio shot, it seems they toned it down. Thank Ares.

• Moving down, yes past the ample bosoms, we get to the top part of the costume. The shiny red bustier is topped by the always-classic eagle motif that Wonder Woman has sported for as long as she’s thrown a golden lasso of truth. Just as the Wonder Woman of the first series had, we have a glorified tube top. Is it the most appropriate thing to wear when fighting crime? No. Does it make dudes excited in their what-nots? you betcha. And look above? Proof that it holds up under … hrm…. stress.

• A little bit further down the line, we really start to separate us from the vintage look. The yellow lasso aforementioned above connects to a rather interesting looking belt. Almost a tiara-of-the-hips, if you will. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be metal, or leather… but if it’s metal, well, Diana ain’t gonna bend down too often. And while we’re about waist high,  lets mention the classic bullet-deflecting bracelets. While longer than the Carter administration models, they do reinforce the attempt here to stay true to the character. Even if they look like a quite-plastic version of metal bracelets, perhaps purchased with a WW Halloween costume.

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