Tagged: wrong

MICHAEL DAVIS: Static Cling

It’s not a black or white world. The world is made up of many shades of gray.

Yet somehow when something happens to a black character “racism” always clings to the debate.

There has been a flurry of activity since DC cancelled Static Shock. The DC official line is the book was cancelled because of sales. Some fans think DC should have kept the book alive by whatever means necessary and only canceled the book because they did not think enough of the character to change direction.

Some think that DC cancelled the book because Static was black.

What do I, co-creator of Static, think?

I don’t care why they cancelled the book. I care that they cancelled the book.

A guy once put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger. The gun jammed. I didn’t care why the gun jammed, I cared that the gun jammed.

Sometimes the reason for something is not nearly as important as the thing.

In the almost 20 years that Milestone, I company I co-founded, has been around I’ve never publicly commented on the direction of the Milestone universe. Never a word on the management rather I was with the company or not. I’ll do it here, but just to make a point.

I did not like the book.

Moving on…

I mentioned in a post on ComicMix last week that there are some who think that DC cancelled the book because Static was black but somehow fail to acknowledge that DC published the book in the first place.  I love people who don’t let little things like the facts get in the way of a good conspiracy theory.

Over on my website, Danny Donovan wrote an amazing piece about the cancellation called “Not shocked.” A reader wrote a wonderful comment making the case that DC’s actions regarding the Static cancellation had strong overtones or racism.

I do not believe DC cancelled the book because of some racist agenda.

So why do I say the writer’s comments were “wonderful?” Because he presented his case, backed up his thoughts and wrote them in a clear concise way. I don’t have to agree with someone to acknowledge they make a good case.

A few years ago during The Black Panel at Comic Con International I addressed one of the many rumors about Milestone Media by telling the audience how Denys Cowan started Milestone and I co-signed, period. Milestone was Deny’s baby and without Denys Milestone never would have happened.

Never.

Ever.

Ever!

Soon after Comic Con, a blogger went on line and wrote that “his sources” told him that my “version” of Milestone’s origin was not the way Milestone started and because Denys (who was on the panel with me) didn’t say anything after I made my comments, somehow that meant I was lying.

Like I said, I love people who don’t let little things like the facts get in the way of a good conspiracy theory.

So, me being me, I went online and told this guy that his “sources” were wrong. He came back with “these are very good sources” and he was standing behind them.

He was standing behind “very good sources” instead of giving me (who was there) the benefit of the doubt. What I did next was tell him I’d give him ten thousand dollars if he could prove what he was telling thousands of people on the net.  If he didn’t prove it then he should give me ten grand or shut the fuck up.

He shut the fuck up.

The comment on MDW made by the guy who suggests racism had a hand in the cancellation of Static gave a few examples of DC purposive prejudice towards black characters and creators.

And… he made some good points. I know of one instance when he was on the right track. He did not give particulars so I cannot say for a fact that he was talking about the following incident but it fits the general description.

When Milestone started negotiations with DC there was one meeting in which an important high-ranking DC executive said that when it came to black characters in the market place, black meant death. He went on to suggest we don’t show the characters in any ads so as not to turn off the public. He finished once again with, “black means death.”

At that moment one more racist word out of his mouth may have meant death if the looks on the faces of Dwayne McDuffie, Denys Cowan, Derek Dingle and myself meant anything.

Here’s my two cents. That guy was an asshole and people in the industry generally accept that he was out of touch and yes I felt at the time he was racist.  I was in his office once admiring a photo of a sports car he had on the wall. “Maybe one day with a lot of hard work you can have a car like that,” he said with a smile.

I reached into my pocket and showed him my car keys. “I already have one.”

The look on his face was well worth the distain he showed me from that moment on. He never spoke to me again unless he had to.

I believe he was racist and because he was a high-ranking member of the DC staff I believe he could be a problem. Was he a problem? I can’t say for sure.

Jenette Kahn and Paul Levitz were his bosses and they believed in Milestone from day one, so fuck him. I saw him once after he left DC, he was very pleasant and so was I. Why be decent?

As Denys says, “too small, throw it back.”

That was then, this is now…

Hey Bruce! How you living? Guess how many sports cars I have now!

Here’d something that’s never addressed in these “DC is racist claims” concerning Milestone.

The founders.

No founder of Milestone would stand for any Jim Crow shit. Not now, not then.

It will never happen and if some people would just look at the backgrounds and resumes of the founders they would know that Milestone is made up of people that Ice Cube famously said are ‘the wrong niggas to fuck with.’

Has race been an issue at DC?  Yes!  Race is an issue everywhere. The question is when race becomes racism. DC did not cancel Static because they were racist; they cancelled Static because the fans did not want to see one of the greatest characters ever created fighting a giant fish.

A giant fish??

Really?

Lastly, DC took a risk with Milestone but almost twenty years later Milestone is still here, still a topic of conversation still a great universe with great characters and I’m sure that Static is a risk they will take again.

As Captain Kirk said, “Risk? Risk, is our business!”

Good job Danny… for a white boy. ;-)

WEDNESDAY: Mike Gold

Real Steel

Real Steel is an interesting blend of the underdog sports movie and science fiction, and from the first frame, you know exactly what will happen by the time the end credits roll. There’s nothing wrong with that since we knew exactly what was coming in Rocky or Remember the Titans and both were strong, entertaining films. The challenge for the director and cast is to make arriving at the inevitable conclusion as entertaining as possible and in this case, the film exceeded expectations.

Coming out tomorrow for home video from Touchstone Home Entertainment, the Shawn Levy-directed film looks terrific and has rock solid sound so you hear the gears grinding and Danny Elfman’s score soar with fidelity.

The story is set in 2027, a time when human boxers have been replaced by oversized robotic creations that are basically Rock’Em Sock’Em Robots controlled by a video game interface. Atop the heap is the most advanced bit of Artificial Intelligence in the hulking Zeus, built and controlled by the film’s sort of bad guys, the too cool to be true Tak Mashido (Karl Yune) and Farra Lemcova (Olga Fonda). Way down the food chain is former boxer and failed robot boxing controller Charlie Kenton (Hugh Jackman). He owes money, his life sucks, and he’s so focused on finding the next fight to earn some cash that he is merely existing, not living. That changes when his old flame Caroline dies and he’s summoned to court to sign away all parental rights to his son Max (Dakota Goyo), a smart and smart-mouthed 11 year old. In need of a cash infusion, Charlie agrees to take Max for the summer so his Aunt and her husband can take an unencumbered Italian vacation in exchange for $100,000.

(more…)

NEW SHERLOCK HOLMES NOVEL FROM AIRSHIP 27 PRODUCTIONS!

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  • January 21, 2012
THE RETURN OF THE BARON GRUNER!
Following the overwhelming success of the second Robert Downey Jr. film blockbuster, Airship 27 Productions is pleased to present a brand new mystery suspense novel starring the Great Detective; Sherlock Holmes – The Baron’s Revenge by Gary Lovisi.
In 1902 Sir James Damery enlisted the aid of Sherlock Holmes to prevent the daughter of an old friend from marrying a womanizing Austrian named Adelbert Gruner who was suspected of murdering his first wife.  Dr.Watson chronicled the case as “The Adventure of the Illustrious Client.”  By its conclusion, Gruner was exposed to the young lady when Holmes came into possession of an album listing his many amorous conquests.  Then a former prostitute mistress took her own revenge by throwing acid in his face and permanently disfiguring him.
Holmes believed the matter concluded. He is proven wrong when a hideous murder occurs rife with evidence indicating the Baron has returned.  Soon the Great Detective will learn he has been targeted for revenge in a cruel and sadistic fashion. Not only does the Baron wish his death but he is obsessed with causing Holmes emotional suffering.  He desires nothing less than the complete and utter destruction of the Great Detective in body and soul.
Now Gary Lovisi spins a fast paced tale of horror and intrigue that is both suspenseful and poignant, all the while remaining true to Arthur Conan Doyle’s original stories.  “The Baron’s Revenge” is a thrilling sequel to a classic Holmes adventure fans will soon be applauding.
“We are thrilled to have this as both our first release of the new year and also as our first solo effort as a publisher,” Editor In Chief Ron Fortier reported.  “As of Jan. 1st, 2012 Airship 27 Productions titles will be available at the site listed below.”
Airship 27 Productions – Pulps For A New Generation!
+++
We invite you to visit our new website.
Here you will find two links.  One to our PDF digital store were all our titles are on sale for only $3 as downloads.  Please consider registering an account which will put you on our Newsletter mailing list.
The second link is to our Indy Planet pages, where you can purchase Print-On-Demand hard copies of our titles for $14.95 (plus shipping and handling).  At present we have our latest titles available here and hope to have our entire catalogue added by the end of the year.  Thanks for your continued support.

Review: Lord Of The Jungle #1

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  • January 20, 2012
Reviewed by Joshua Pantalleresco
Lord of the Jungle is Dynamite’s Adaptation of Tarzan.  I have to admit I was both enthusiastic and skeptical when I heard of this book.  I was skeptical because Tarzan’s depth of character is rarely explored.  His animal cunning is always apparent, but one of the things that always got me was how intelligent Tarzan is.  He taught himself to read in the original novels.  That kind of intelligence is often missed as part of the character. 

The first two images of the comic are two skeletons.  It’s a very grisly image and hints at the tragedies that occur in this issue.  Yet the third panel managed to dispel one of my misgivings immediately.  Tarzan is learning how to read.  This is going to be an intelligent Tarzan.  The contrast on that first page is very fitting.  There is a kind of beauty in the jungle, yet there is a grim, savage reality and it’s all displayed on page one.  

The rest of the issue takes place twenty years prior when Tarzan’s parents John and Alice were stranded in the jungle by pirates.  There, John and Alice are forced to survive the hostile environment they have found themselves into.  Now the ending if you have read Tarzan is obvious, that said there’s definitely a few touching moments in the first issue.
One of my favorites was when Alice and John defended themselves from a mighty gorilla.  John picked flowers for Alice when a bull ape came from nowhere and attacked.  Both characters managed to protect each other and it gave the scene a very triumphant feel to it and showed how much of a team they were when they worked together.  It mirrored nicely with the end when John died defending the baby by himself.    Tarzan at that point is taken in by the apes. 

Arvid Nelson did a fantastic job with adapting Edgar Rice Burroughs’ John Carter series with Warlord of Mars, and so far it seems he is going to repeat that magic here.  Arvid is faithful to the original material and manages to add and expand moments that were in the novels.  He’s off to a good start adapting this great classic to comics.

I really love Robert Castro’s pencils.  I love his ability to contrast beautiful moments with terrifying imagery.   He’s able to balance some of the horrors of the jungle with some amazing shots.  The opening page is living proof of this, but he manages to do it again and again in the issue.  That one shot of baby tarzan is surrounded by panels of monsters and tragedy.  My favorite image in the book is the landscape shot of Lord Greystroke’s home on page two.   It felt very majestic, even as a shadow of its former brilliance.

Simon Bowland and Alex Guimaraes deserve credit.  The storybook on page one is just brilliant and fun lettering.  It added a kind of innocence to the scene that was sorely needed.

All in all, this is a solid book and a nice addition to any pulp reader’s library.  For one dollar you can’t go wrong.  Hopefully the rest of the series has the same quality throughout.

REVIEW: Kamala Sankaram’s “Miranda”

What do you get when you take a dystopian who-done-it, three suspects, a composer-soprano-instrumentalist-victim, set it to music that is part Baroque opera, tango, Hindustani classical, and hip-hop, add multimedia elements (including a projected big, singing head and funky fake commercials for deadly fashion accessories and wacked-out news broadcasts), dress it all up in steampunk sensibilities reminiscent of Watchmen, include a bailiff ringmaster of a TV show (The Whole Truth) that would make Tim Curry’s Frank-N-Furter proud, add Rocky Horror-like audience participation, a libretto written by the composer with director Rob Reese, and swirl in six avant-garde new music veteran musicians-singers-actors a la the most recently retooled Sweeney Todd?

This is the hybrid lovely beast that is Kamala Sankaram’s Miranda, which opened in preview (tickets $20, 9 p.m.) on Thurs. Jan. 12th, opened on Friday the 13th, and makes its final performance on the 21st as part of HERE’s 3-year composer-development HARP (HERE Artists Residency) Program. Grandly ironic sensibilities. And it lived up to all its promises despite a few technical nits.

Jerry Miller as the Bailiff plays it larger than life—he sells it, with power, and controls the audience with aplomb: a bravura performance. Sankaram is a soprano worthy of Puccini, in demeanor and vocal timber and skill, plus able to carry her ethnic classical tropes with equal grace, yet still be convincing in the more contemporary milieu of the infectiously heavy hip-hop grooves of the show’s theme she writes for her mini-orchestra (guitar, cello, violin, tenor sax/clarinet, bari sax/bass clarinet, accordion—it needs a viola to round out the dark tones and support the violin and guitar—but I am a violist). Sankaram’s writing is lush, inventive, and dramatic, seamlessly slipping between the genres, and the staging, choreography, and projected imagery do it justice in the appropriately dark and industrial HERE main theatre (holds 100, capacity crowd). Her portrayal of the poor-little-rich girl is at once ditzy (when she speaks) and noble (when she sings), highlighting the dichotomies of her character and her struggles, once she discovers a wrong that shatters her protective bubble, to Do The Right Thing. She and Miller are the stand-outs of this production, along with the behind-the-scenes artists. The other voices: Muchmore’s reedy tenor, Fand’s mezzo, Fleming’s baritone, and those of the supporting cast sung by the multi-winds, were serviceable and had moments.

(more…)

FORTIER TAKES ON TERROR IN ‘JUST BEFORE THE DAWN!’

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  • January 18, 2012

ALL PULP REVIEWS- Reviews by Ron Fortier
JUST BEFORE THE DAWN
By Bonnie Kozek
A while back I read a book called THRESHOLD that impressed me greatly.  It was modern day, grunge thriller written by a truly fearless writer.  Kozek’s prose, like her protagonist, Honey McGuiness, is not for the faint of heart.  Honey is a broken soul, abused constantly by her father as a child, tossed from one foster home to another; her life has been nothing but a constant swim through the sewers of society.  In that first outing, Honey, with the help of a selfless, naïve police officer, helped topple a corrupt administration and almost got both of them killed in the process.  By the book’s end, she was packing it up for parts unknown.
Which, as it turned out, became an out of the way burg called Pie Town.  As this sequel opens, Honey is working in a restaurant/bar in the small hamlet and slowly getting accustomed to the eccentricities of the colorful locals.  Still there is a recurring oddity about Pie Town, all its young people run off the second they finish high school, leaving the town to children and seniors.  But Honey isn’t a private eye and solving mysteries really isn’t her thing.  Getting by is and as a expert survivor who has taken the worst this world can dish out, she’s lulled herself into thinking Pie Town is a safe, boring corner into which she can crawl and disappear.
Sadly that assumption is the furthest from the truth.  Pie Town harbors a dark and unholy secret and when Honey is kidnapped by a psycho killer operating a sex cult in the nearby woods, she begins a descent into a drug induced hell that is both horrifying and mind-numbing.  Kozek doesn’t spare any of the details of Honey’s sexual degradation and continues to explore her twisted, wounded psyche every painful step of the way.  This book is one woman’s personal journey to that hell and the writing is as sharp and brutal as a razor blade.  It cuts…often.  Still, it is never sensationalized and believe me, that is incredible.  Oh, I am positive there will be readers and critics who will decry it as such, calling the shock-value a gimmick.  They’re wrong.  Like any exploration of the human condition, one has to peel away the layers to find then gristle and bone beneath.  That process is never pretty.  It is real.
And despite its in-your-face portrayal of abject cruelty, JUST BEFORE THE DAWN manages to find a glimmer of hope and salvation at its conclusion.  It may be fragile at best, but then again, in the real world, there are no guarantees.  Each of us gets by, if we’re lucky, with a little help from our friends.  Honey McGuinness is one of the most memorable characters you will ever encounter, if you’ve got the fortitude to take the trip.
Good luck.

Hancock Tips His Hat to SUN KOH: HEIR OF ATLANTIS VOLUME ONE!

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  • January 16, 2012

TIPPIN’ HANCOCK’S HAT-Reviews of All Things Pulp By Tommy Hancock

SUN KOH: HEIR OF ATLANTIS, VOLUME 1
by Dr. Art Sippo
Published by Age of Adventure
2010

Although many of us who write and publish New Pulp sincerely and honestly feel we are producing work that needs to be read, stories that people will love to read, and books that bring life back to a genre/arena/style that so many have forgotten or never even knew, it is truly rare that a single book not only does all of that from one cover to another, but does it with such style and finesse that it could simultaneously fit right into the literature of the era which inspired it and stand on its own as a modern novel, cognizant of all the sensibilities and nuances that that would require.

Rare, but not impossible.  How do I know this, you may ask?  Because I’m holding an example of such a feat in my hand right now.  Yup.  Written by the ever fascinating Dr. Art Sippo, whose Pulp Adventures I still hope to write someday, the book in question is SUN KOH: HEIR OF ATLANTS, VOLUME 1!

Sun Koh, a character from the German Pulps of the early 20th Century, is often referred to as Germany’s answer to Doc Savage.   This is most definitely true, as answered by Sippo in his fantastic introduction to this volume, but the author also works wonders with a character that many claim to find abhorrent and reprehensible.   This agitated feeling toward a literary character comes from the fact that with the change of political climate in Germany in the 1930s and 40s, Sun Koh was used basically to further the ideological views of Hitler and his Nazi Party.   What Sippo does with this situation instead of shying away from it in any form or fashion is essentially reboots Sun Koh keeping his Atlantaean heritage intact as well as his rather limited views of politics, women, and humanity in general.  

That is what Sippo does to kick off his volume.  What he does by the end of HEIR OF ATLANTIS is the truly wonderful part of this book.  Through a natural organic process, Sippo builds up Koh as a hero, not so much loyal to Germany, but loyal to his heritage and seeking his true place as Prince of all he surveys.   His time in the modern world (the 1930s) and his interaction with people who become his team of associates, however, changes Sun Koh’s view on several subjects and actually works on the character to bring out questions.  Questions of his own morality, questions of what Hitler’s plans and goals, and most importantly questions about what is truly important to Sun Koh as the hero of the tale.   Like no other writer I’ve ever read, Art Sippo takes a character from being essentially a lifeless automaton with tyrannical tendencies to being a real person, an individual who has an evolving innate sense of right and wrong and is learning, by the end of the book, to follow that compass.

Add into that compelling story lines, exciting and interesting supporting characters that could carry (and did in their original incarnations) stories all their own, and a fantastic pacing and attention to plot, and you have Art Sippo’s SUN KOH: HEIR OF ATLANTIS, VOLUME 1.  You also have one of the best books I’ve ever read, period.  

FIVE OUT OF FIVE TIPS OF THE HAT-Truly deserving of every accolade it has, does, and will receive.

Summit Entertainment Unveilsd 2012 Line-Up

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  • January 11, 2012

Summit Entertainment wants to ensure we know they are responsible for more than those annoying Twilight movies. Here’s a look at their 2012 release schedule although release dates are subject to change.

SUMMIT ENTERTAINMENT Presents

A di BONAVENTURA PICTURES Production

MAN ON A LEDGE

Directed by ASGER LETH (GHOSTS OF CITÉ SOLEIL)

Written by PABLO F. FENJVES

Produced by LORENZO di BONAVENTURA (RED, SALT, TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN) and MARK VAHRADIAN (TRANSFORMERS)

Starring SAM WORTHINGTON (AVATAR, CLASH OF THE TITANS,

TERMINATOR SALVATION), ELIZABETH BANKS (THE NEXT THREE DAYS, W., THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN), JAMIE BELL (KING KONG, BILLY ELLIOT), ANTHONY MACKIE (THE HURT LOCKER, MILLION DOLLAR BABY, 8 MILE), ED BURNS (27 DRESSES), TITUS WELLIVER (THE TOWN), GENESIS RODRIGUEZ, KYRA SEDGWICK (TV’S THE CLOSER) and ED HARRIS (NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS, A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE)

From the ledge of the 25th floor of a NYC skyscraper, where one wrong step means death, a cornered Nick Cassidy (Sam Worthington) must orchestrate a dangerous plan to prove his innocence for a crime he didn’t commit.

Rated PG-13.  In theaters January 27, 2012. (more…)

FORTIER TAKES ON MAC’S NATE HELLER IN ‘CHICAGO LIGHTNING’!

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  • January 1, 2012

ALL PULP REVIEWS by Ron Fortier
CHICAGO LIGHTNING
By Max Allan Collins
Thomas & Mercer
373 pages
Sixty three year old Max Collins has been at this writing game for a while coming onto the mystery private-eye scene with his 1994 Shamus Award winning “True Detective,” published the year before.  Since that monumental debut, Collins has gone on to produce several continuing series both in comics and prose; these include his comic book female P.I. Ms. Tree and the morally ambiguous hit-man, Quarry. The one fictional character Collins is most recognized for is Nathan Heller from his historical crime novels.   Heller is a Chicago based investigator who over the course of his career rubs shoulders with personalities such as Al Capone and Eliot Ness and worked on such mysteries as the Lindberg baby kidnapping and the disappearance of aviatrix Amelia Earhart.  His most recent Heller case was the critically acclaimed “Bye Bye Baby” wherein the fiftyish shamus becames involved with the death of Marilyn Monroe.  All of these books are excellent and worthy of your time and attention.
Over the years Collins, at the request of anthology editors, also penned short stories featuring Heller.  With the assistance of his research colleague, George Hagenauer, Collins adapted true crime stories and then wove his tough guy hero into their fabric so that the history and fiction elements become indistinguishable.  This volume has taken that baker’s dozen and for the very first time presented them in chronological order from the first which occurs in 1933 to the last set in 1949.  The settings range from Chicago to Cleveland and Hollywood.  Here is a sampling of what is included between the covers.
“Kaddish for the Kid,” Heller is hired to protect a retailer from a crooked union scam in reality a protection racket.  During a street shootout, his young partner is killed and the angry private dick goes after the killers with a vengeance.
“The Blonde Tigress,” has Heller investigating a trio of stick-up artists led by a female boss who tries to manipulate him into aiding her escape justice.
“Private Consultation,” has a well known Chicago doctor accused for murdering her daughter-in-law and her son hires Heller to investigate. What he uncovers is a sad testimony to a loveless marriage where none of the participants are innocent of wrong doing.
The Perfect Crime,” finds Heller in Los Angeles to help a friend. Before he can pack up and head home, he’s hired by the beautiful blonde star, Thelma Todd to act as her bodyguard. Miss Todd suspects mobsters wish to do her harm for refusing to allow Lucky Luciano to use the top floors of her famous restaurant as a casino.  When she is found dead in her garage from carbon monoxide poisoning, Heller knows the coroner’s accidental death ruling is pure bunk. He decides to extend his trip to catch a killer.
In “House Call” a caring doctor is brutally murdered while answering a night summons to aid a sick child.  This time Heller joins forces with the Chicago P.D. to hunt down the vicious killers and bring them to justice.
“Marble Mildred” tells the story of woman trapped for fourteen years in a loveless marriage who discovers a humiliating secret which she’d rather go to the electric chair rather than having it made public.  A tragedy Heller is helpless to prevent.
“The Strawberry Teardrop” is based on the case of Cleveland serial killer, the Mad Butcher of Kingsbury Run and how he was finally caught by the famous lawman Eliot Ness.
There is not a lemon in the batch.  Collins writing style is terse and economically efficient.  He uses words like a scalpel carving up the psychological motivations that induce people to do bad things.  All the while Nathan Heller is his surgeon, meting out equally doses of justice and compassion.  The title, “Chicago Lightning,” is gangster slang for gunfire and is only fitting as this book comes heavily loaded with pure pulp pizzaz.  Don’t miss it.

JOHN OSTRANDER: An Agnostic’s Christmas

I always loved Christmas or, perhaps more accurately, I always loved the anticipation of Christmas. I loved the possibilities of Christmas. What would I get? Would others like what I gave? As a boy, my family had an Advent calendar that we used every year; each day you would open another closed window, revealing a picture or text, leading to Christmas Eve. With the one we loved best, the window would open onto another sentence of the Christmas story and that helped build the rising sense of anticipation.

My Mom created a Christmas ritual every Christmas Eve. We would have our own Christmas parade from the top of the stairs, singing a carol, bringing the Baby Jesus figurine to the Nativity scene under the tree. We got more resistant to the cheesiness of it as we got older but Mom was right and we were wrong. We would read The Night Before Christmas out loud, each taking different stanzas. My Dad would read aloud the Cratchit family scene out of the Ghost of Christmas Present sequence in Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. In later grade school, my brother and I were off to Midnight Mass because we sang in the boy’s choir.

The day itself would then come with all its attendant hysteria and afterwards – it was done. The thing is, Christmas Day never matched up to the anticipation I felt for it. I don’t think it could have. What I loved most was the idea of Christmas, its possibility rather than its reality.

So here we are, years later, and things have very much changed. I’ve become an agnostic and I’ll tell you what I mean by that. I’m used to others telling me what I mean by that and it’s never quite right. I’m uncertain that God exists although I won’t tell you that a Supreme Being doesn’t or cannot exist. I’ve seen atheists who are every bit as evangelical in their disbelief as born-again Baptists are in their faith; not only does god not exist for them but they have decided you can’t believe in one either. I simply say, “I don’t know and its beyond my knowing.” If God exists for you, great. I do miss he certainty I had as a boy. Sometimes my heart yearns for what my mind can no longer accept.

What I don’t believe in is Institutional God especially the Christian one. There is no one Christian god in any case; different churches and sects get into versions of “my Jesus can beat up your Jesus.” The gospels differ and contradict themselves and the institutional churches ignore any gospel except the four official ones. There is, in fact, no “gospel truth.” Not to me.

So – what am I doing with Christmas? What am I supposed to be celebrating, Doubting Ostrander that I am.

I’m celebrating the idea of Christmas, which I have always loved most in any case. I love story and I love this story – that God so loved humanity that a part of him, his “Son,” came to Earth and became one of us, even as a newborn baby, defenseless and vulnerable.

I love the idea of that, I love that story. Story doesn’t have to be factually real to be true. If our minds have created god, then I love the idea that our minds created a loving god, one who could know what it feels like to be us. I don’t know that a god created us in his or her likeness but I believe that we have created a god – an idea or image of god – in our likeness. In this case, it’s bound up with love and kindness. I feel as Scrooge does at the moment of his transformation: “I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.”

Honour Christmas in your heart and in your own way and may you have joy of it, today and every day.

MONDAY: Mindy Newell

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