Tagged: television

Pulp Fiction Reviews Fuzzy Nation

All Pulp’s Ron Fortier returns with another Pulp Fiction Review. This time out Ron takes a look at FUZZY NATION by John Scalzi.

FUZZY NATION
By John Scalzi
A Tor Book
301 pages

In 1962 the late H. Beam Piper’s well loved science fiction novel, “Little Fuzzy” was published.  This reviewer was a sophomore in high school and has fond memories of discovering that book via the recommendation of a fellow student who was also an avid reader of science fiction.  For those of you unaware of the book’s premise, humans have traveled to the starts and giant corporations mine alien worlds for their resources.  On one such planet, prospector Jack Halloway discovers a race of furry little creatures and befriends them.  When evidence indicates that the “fuzzies” might actually be sentient beings it establishes the plot’s primary conflict.  By interplanetary law, if a planet has aboriginal sentient life, then it is off limits to all who would attempt to harvest its natural resources to include the mining outfit on Zarathustra, lush alien setting for the book.

Part science fiction adventure and courtroom melodrama, “Little Fuzzy” ends when Halloway and his friends win their case convincing an Interplanetary Judge to declare the “fuzzies” sentient beings and thus the unquestionable owners of the planet.  The book was hugely successful at the time of its release and Piper went on to write sequels, several actually published after his death in 1964.  Beside these, other authors were hired to write new Fuzzy novels; these included William Tuning and John Smith.  The late Ardath Mayhar wrote “Golden Dream,” a novel telling the self-same story only from the perspective of the Fuzzies themselves.  In her book she even invented the fuzzies’ language; parts of which were used by Wolfgang Diehr who wrote two new Fuzzy novels.

We relate all this because my own connection with the series is a personal one on several levels.  After reading several of the sequels, we wrote the publishers suggesting how the original Piper book do extremely well if done as a childrens’ book.  In 1983 such a volume was produced; “The Adventures of Little Fuzzy” written by Benson Parker and beautifully illustrated by Michael Whelan.  The aforementioned Ardath Mayhar was our writing mentor at the time of her involvement with the license and we recall how happy she was with her efforts.  As most fans of the Star Wars movies know, it was the “fuzzies” that inspired George Lucas’ Ewoks and one of the TV network channels produced a made-for-TV movie loosely based on Piper’s though as I recall, no credit to that fact was ever stated.

Which brings us to “Fuzzy Nation,” John Scalzi’s rebooting (his own words) of this science fiction classic released in 2011.  Having experienced many television and movie “remakes” we have to admit to being really curious to see how such a thing would work with fiction.  How much does the new writer keep from the original and how much does he or she change?  All valid questions that filled my thoughts as we started reading page one.  What is obvious from the start is that Scalzi understands the essence of Piper’s plot, the tale he wanted to tell and yet he strips it down to suit his own style of writing; one we admire greatly.  Scalzi is one of those science fiction writers who, though knowledgeable about the science he is extrapolating, he never uses hard facts to get in the way of his story spinning.  Our protagonist is still Jack Halloway, the lone independent ore prospector, though now he’s younger and a whole lot less altruistic.  In fact he’s a lawyer who was disbarred back on Earth.  This not only adds a new element but of makes Halloway a logical champion when we get to the book’s courtroom scenes.  All the original “fuzzies” are back, pretty much as we remembered them as is the giant mega corporation gutting the planet Zarathustra.  Whereas the old supporting cast is gone and Scalzi has replaced them with his own creations, both good guys and villains.

Scalzi’s easy-to-read prose is one of his greatest assets as a writer.  Most of his books are intimate and he has an unerring way of pulling the reader into his tale; a result of truly craftsman-like pacing.  There are very few slow moments in “Fuzzy Nation” and we were unable to put the book down once we had reached the half-way point.  “Fuzzy Nation” is a wonderful book and worthy “rebooting” of a beloved sci-fi classic.  Not to overly repeat ourselves, H. Beam Piper’s cautionary tale of environmental mismanagement is at its core a David vs Goliath fable and there have never been any cuter Davids than “the fuzzies.”  Scalzi embellishes that fable for our times in a truly exciting and fun new interpretation.  This is one of those rare books we want to give to all my friends, you among them.  Go out and read it.  Now.

Martha Thomases: Comics Creators and Free Labor

Thomases Art 130705Gerry Conway recently posted a provocative story. He starts off discussing the history of creator rights and profit-sharing in the comics industry, and how he (and others) get paid when their creations are used not only in comics, but also on television, in movies and other media.

And then he says this:

“But, like all companies, it’s a business, and its first priority is to reduce costs, increase efficiency, and maximize profits. So tracking which character was created by which writer and artist team thirty or forty years ago isn’t part of their business plan. It’s just too much work, and it requires a dedication and devotion to detail that only one group in the world has in abundant quantities:

“You, the fans.”

I object to this on myriad levels. Here’s a sampling.

• Fans are fantastic, but they do more than enough when they buy the comics, or the movie tickets, or turn on the television. They should not be used as slave (by which I mean unpaid) labor by profit-making companies. That’s because…

• Comics publishers are profit-making companies, not charities. If they want someone to work for them for free, they should get interns, like the rest of corporate America.

• Paying creators a share of the profits generated from their work is not charity. It’s not even a nice gesture (or rather, not primarily a nice gesture). It is the cost of doing business, especially for companies that deal in intellectual properties (or content, as the kids say). Sure, they might save a few bucks by not paying out for a couple of quarters, but over the long haul, they will lose talent to the companies that pay more fairly. Profit-sharing improves the bottom line.

• Most of the work has already been done. It’s really a matter of moments for some aide to an assistant to look up what’s not already covered here.

• Anyone writing a script that uses a really obscure character, either as a springboard for a plot or an Easter egg for fans, already knows the comics well enough to be able to do the research him or herself.

Now, I don’t know anything about Gerry Conway’s personal finances (which are none of my business). He has a terrific résumé, which includes a bunch of high-paying jobs, and I imagine he has a comfortable life, but then, I’m just projecting. However, as he acknowledges, his proposal will benefit scores of other creators, many of whom can really use the money. I’m not faulting him for his idea, just for the execution.

Warners and Disney (and Sony and Universal etc. etc.) are not the only corporations that treat paying out money as some kind of optional, if unpleasant chore. According to this article, some companies are, essentially, making employees pay for the privilege of receiving their salaries.

Said salaries are frequently not enough to support a family, even when the employee works full-time in a supervisory position.

As comics fans, and as Americans on this Independence Day weekend, when we celebrate liberty and the pursuit of happiness, we need to stand up for the people who make our lives enjoyable. And we need to do it by demanding fairness, not working for free.

SATURDAY: Marc Alan Fishman

SUNDAY: John Ostrander

 

Pulp Fiction Reviews and Junkyard Dogs

New Pulp Author Ron Fortier returns with another Pulp Fiction Review. This time out Ron takes a look at Junkyard Dogs, a Walt Longmire Mystery by Craig Johnson.

JUNKYARD DOGS
(A Walt Longmire Mystery)
By Craig Johnson
Penguin Books
306 pages

Happily one doesn’t have to read the Walt Longmire series in order to enjoy their levity, fast paced action and classic mystery formulas.  We should also point out that the highly popular television series, which is also a great deal of fun, is decidedly different from the books to make both unique and worthy of your attention for various reasons.

When the owner-manager of the local junkyard and landfill dies under mysterious reasons, Sheriff Longmire naturally suspects the big time land developer making noises to move the refuse facility.  But when that individual, upon escaping from custody, is shot to death in a small park in the middle of a snow blizzard, Longmire finds himself back to square one.

As anyone who has been following this series knows by now, the rugged high plains of Wyoming are as much a part of these tales as are the convoluted plots themselves.  Whereas with this particular case, poor old Longmire is really put through the physical ringer as he gets sprayed in the face with a heavy dose of Pepper Spray, bitten on the butt by a mean German Shepherd and in the end has a stack of scrapped automobiles dumped on him.  He somehow manages to survive all these challenges and bring the murderer to justice making him the quintessential western hero.

Of course this book has references to past exploits and although they don’t impede the enjoyment, they will make you want to go out and pick them up.  This is one series you won’t want to miss a single installment.

Mindy Newell: Trojan Horse

Newell Art 130701I didn’t know that writer blockitis was catching, but it must be, because just like my buddy and fellow columnist John Ostrander, I seem to be suffering from the same ailment today.

Signs and symptoms include sluggishness, an inability to form ideas, a lack of imagination, a desire to smash the computer, great interest in infomercials, and reading the Sunday New York Times.

Oh. Wait. Here’s something.

It’s an article by Brooke Barnes in the Arts & Leisure section, and it’s called “Save My Blockbuster!” Considering all the words and thoughts that have gone into discussing Man Of Steel by the columnists (including me) here at ComicMix since its opening on June 14, as well as the other comics, science fiction, and pop culture cinematic adventures that have already hit the screen (Iron Man 3, Star Trek: Into Darkness, World War Z) or are still to come (The Lone Ranger, Pacific Rim, R.I.P.D., The Wolverine, Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters, Elysium, and The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones) this summer of 2013 – all involved studios praying that their production will be The Blockbuster of the season – Mr. (or is it Ms?) Barnes’s article is not only interesting, but also relevant.

But just when did the summer become the season of the adventure/science fiction/fantasy/comics/pop culture Blockbuster?

The summer of 1975. Jaws.

In 1973, Richard D. Zanuck and David Brown were producers at Universal. David Brown’s wife was Helen Gurley Brown, editor of Cosmopolitan. He found a pre-publication copy Peter Benchley’s Jaws in the fiction department of the magazine. Cosmo’s book editor had written a detailed synopsis of the plot, which concluded with the comment “might make a good movie.” Zanuck and Brown both read the book overnight, decided that it was “the most exciting thing they had ever read,” and purchased the movie rights They hired the still chancy Steven Spielberg, although the 26 year-old director was starting to make a name for himself for directing Joan Crawford in the pilot of Night Gallery (“Eyes”), defining “road rage” in his adaptation of Richard Matheson’s Duel for an ABC Movie Of The Week – I clearly remember watching Duel perched on the arm of a sofa in my dorm’s packed-to-the-walls common room, every single one of us with eyes glued to the small 19” television set – and The Sugarland Express, his first theatrical film.

Jaws hit the movie screens of America in 1975. It became the archetype of the summer movie for Hollywood. It had a wide national release (“saturation booking”) and massive media buys, i.e., lots and lots and lots of television, radio, and magazine advertising. It made money, and now every studio wanted a Jaws. According to Lester D. Friedman’s book on Spielberg, Jaws “defined the Hollywood hit as a marketable commodity and cultural phenomenon.” Before Jaws, summer was the seasonal dumping ground for Hollywood studios, the home of films they were sorry they made. After Jaws, summer became “the prime season for the release of the…biggest box-office contenders, [studios’s] intended blockbusters.”

1975 was, let’s see, how many years ago?

38.

This summer Hollywood will have released, as the New York Times relates, “13 movies costing $100 million and up (sometimes way up), 44 percent more than in the same period last year. And because these pictures need to attract the global audience possible” to see any kind of profit, “they are increasingly manufactured by committees who tug this way and pull that way: marketing needs this, international distribution need that” and “the all-too-common result is a Frankenfilm” – I love that description! – “a lumbering behemoth composed of misfit parts.”

To test this assertion, Brooks Barnes conceived a movie titled “Red, White, & Blood” with the tagline “The only thing faster than her car was his heart.” The opening of the pitch reads “Think Fast & Furious meets Nicholas Sparks meets Die Hard.” He (she?) then presented it to a producer, a marketer, a studio executive, a researcher, a global marketer, and a writer.

This is what they said:

The Producer: “We need hotter weapons. Huge, big battle weapons – maybe an end-of-the-world device.

The Marketer: “There needs to be a wisecracking set of man candy here, and those actors are shirtless at least once in a TV campaign.”

The Studio Executive: “I’m a huge believer in a good tragic ending – it worked for Titanic.”

The Researcher: “If you try to appeal to everyone, you will end up appealing to no one.”

The Global Marketer: “Just be smarter then making a nationality or a culture the bad guys.”

The Writer: “Consider adding time-traveling aliens, or if that’s unrealistic, a regular alien and a time-traveling human.”

Jaws is a great movie. I have seen it at least a hundred times.

But it was a Trojan horse.

TUESDAY MORNING: Emily S. Whitten

TUESDAY AFTERNOON: Partly Cloudy, with a Chance of Davis

 

The Avengers Get a Big Finish Rebirth

Big Finish Productions has announced their latest audio series based on The Avengers.

Press Release:

THE AVENGERS LICENSED

Big Finish Productions is delighted to announce that it has signed a license with STUDIOCANAL to produce full cast audio productions of 12 lost episodes of the classic TV series The Avengers.

Discover the very beginning of this television classic, as we meet John Steed for the first time! Lost for over fifty years, the missing episodes have been lovingly recreated on audio from the original scripts.

The Avengers first launched in 1961, and starred Ian Hendry as Dr David Keel and Patrick Macnee as the elusive and suave John Steed. Beginning with the murder of Keel’s fiancée, and his sworn intent to avenge her death, that first year comprised 26 episodes. Sadly, only two of them exist in their entirety as film prints (Girl on the Trapeze and The Frighteners), while just the first act remains of the opening episode, Hot Snow.

Working from the surviving scripts, Big Finish will be presenting the adaptations in three four-disc box sets. The scripts will be adapted, with minimal changes, by John Dorney, the director is Ken Bentley and the producer is David Richardson. The executive producers are Nicholas Briggs and Jason Haigh-Ellery.

“We are absolutely thrilled to add this wonderful series to our catalogue,” says David Richardson, “and we look forward to faithfully recreating those classic lost episodes. We have two brilliant, high-profile actors for the roles of Dr Keel and John Steed – look out for an announcement of the casting once recording begins in July.”

Patrick Macnee as John Steed

“This opportunity confirms the enduring appeal of this classic TV series and the resonance of the SC collection in the context of British Film and Pop culture,” says John Rodden, General Manager Home Entertainment at STUDIOCANAL.

Volume 1 of The Avengers: The Lost Episodes will be released in January 2014 (and includes a full recreation of Hot Snow), with Volumes 2 and 3 following in July 2014 and January 2015.

Each person who pre-orders will be entered into a draw to win a copy of The Avengers: Series 1 and 2 on DVD box set, containing the remaining three first series episodes.

Learn more about Big Finish and The Avengers here.

One of the Earliest Anime in America, Marine Boy, comes to Home Video

600full-marine-boy-artworkAlongside the heralded Speed Racer and Kimba: The White Lion, MARINE BOY was one of the original handful of imported television series that captured youngsters’ imaginations and put Japanese anime in the stateside consciousness.

Now fans of the 1960s series, and an entire new generation of anime appreciators, can experience the undersea hero’s aquatic adventures as Warner Archive Collection distributes MARINE BOY: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON.

Produced in Japan but intended for first-run syndication in the United States during 1966-67, Marine Boy was one of the first color cartoons to come from Japan. A teenager with some amazing inventions at his disposal, Marine Boy battles evil on and under the seas on behalf of the Ocean Patrol, aided by his father, Dr. Mariner, and the brilliant Professor Fumble. Joining Marine Boy in his missions are his white dolphin, Splasher, young mermaid friend Neptina, and fellow Ocean Patrol agents Bullton and Piper.

The series even shared some pedigree with Speed Racer, most notably featuring several members of the rival series’ voice cast – like Corinne Orr, the voice of Marine Boy, Neptina and Clicli (as well as Trixie on Speed Racer); Peter Fernandez as Piper and Dr. Mariner (and the original voice of Speed Racer) and Jack Grimes as Professor Fumble and Splasher (Chim-Chim). Jack Curtis provided the voice of the narrator for both series.

If sea-faring adventure is your brand of fun, then Warner Archive Collection has a vault filled with entertainment made for you. From live-action thrillers like Man From Atlantis, City Beyond the Sea and Captain Nemo and the Underwater City to the animated dramas SeaLab 2020 and The Pirates of Dark Water to the silliness of Jabberjaw and Snorks, there’s something for every aquatic fan … including special discounts during the current “Harpoon Sale.” Dive into http://shop.warnerarchive.com/home.do today.

First RED 2 TV Spots

First RED 2 TV Spots

We enjoyed Red so much that we were thrilled to hear that there was a sequel coming. Then we saw the first trailer and knew it was in good hands. Now come the first television ads for the July 19 release.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdzBIJHYBJ0[/youtube]

RED 2

Directed by DEAN PARISOT

Written by JON HOEBER & ERICH HOEBER

Based on Characters Created by WARREN ELLIS and CULLY HAMNER

Produced by LORENZO di BONAVENTURA, MARK VAHRADIAN

Executive Produced by JAKE MYERS, DAVID READY

Starring BRUCE WILLIS, JOHN MALKOVICH, MARY-LOUISE PARKER WITH ANTHONY HOPKINS AND HELEN MIRREN; CATHERINE ZETA-JONES, BYUNG HUN LEE, BRIAN COX, NEAL McDONOUGH

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IanZ3O0MFts[/youtube]

In RED 2, the high-octane action-comedy sequel to the worldwide sleeper hit, retired black-ops CIA agent Frank Moses reunites his unlikely team of elite operatives for a global quest to track down a missing, next-generation lethal device that can change the balance of world power. To succeed, they’ll need to survive an army of relentless assassins, ruthless terrorists and power-crazed government officials, all eager to get their hands on the technologically advanced super weapon. The mission takes Frank and his motley crew to Paris, London and Moscow. Outgunned and outmanned, they have only their cunning wits, their old-school skills, and each other to rely on as they try to save the world-and stay alive in the process.

REVIEW: The Newsroom

NEWSROOM_S1_3D_BD_SLIPCASE_SKEW_COMP1Even at his worst, Aaron Sorkin’s television work is at least trying to say something. He may have crashed with Studio 60 after soaring to heights unimagined with Sports Night and The West Wing, but his first series for premium cable, The Newsroom, hews closer to success than failure regardless of its unevenness.

The series debuted on HBO last summer to mixed reviews and is coming to home video in a handsome box set on Tuesday. Lacking the blood, nudity, and shock value of True Blood and Game of Thrones, it nonetheless makes for compelling watching because these are idealized journalists trying to honor the traditions of journalism they were raised on. The series is set in the recent past, allowing the viewers watch as these reporters cover already familiar events, which lets you invest a little more in the characters and not the story.

There’s little doubt that this is a biased newscast and an equally biased production out to skewer the Tea Party and the radical right as seen through the prism of the disillusioned news anchor Will McAvoy. He and the other reporters on News Night ask all the tough questions that viewers realize all too often do not get asked in the real world. Pundits and politicians all too often get away with making outrageous statements on the air because few challenge them and fewer fact-check the claims. Thanks to hindsight, Sorkin does just that, exposing the Republican party and others for the feckless, thoughtless hacks they are, forgetting entirely about American exceptionalism or the fact that they were elected to lead.

newsroom01So yeah, I like the show. Will McAvoy’s opening monologue about why the USA is not the greatest power in the world is a brilliant info dump that clearly tells you in the pilot’s first ten minutes that there’s an agenda informing the series. But, like Sorkin’s other shows, it’s also a work place dramedy with rich characters and unrequited romance. Led by Jeff Daniels’ McAvoy, who has been floundering until the new executive producer is introduced, who just happens to be his former lover MacKenzie McHale (Emily Mortimer), who cheated on him and broke his heart. He still loves her and has been carrying an engagement ring ever since but can’t bring himself to forgive her. But there’s also Alison Pill and John Gallagher Jr. as staffers who are romantically linked yet drawn to others. Even socially awkward financial journalist Sloan (Olivia Munn) reveals herself to have a heart.

Their trials and triumphs are overshadowed by the ratings chase with corporate, represented by an imperious Jane Fonda, looking for profits. Defending McAvoy from the “suits” is Charlie (Sam Waterston), the old school journalist who brought McHale in to jumpstart thigns and sits back to enjoy the ride, glass of scotch always in his grip.

newsroom15The ten episode box set comes complete with five Blu-ray discs chock full of episodes, commentaries, and special features. There’s an additional sleeve with double-sided DVD editions of the first season and there’s also an Ultraviolet option. They look and sound as one would expect and make for good viewing.

The five commentaries highlight Sorkin but also include various cast and crew. They’re worth a listen as you learn about how the production works and how the actors view their characters down to whether or not the necklaces worn by Mortimer work with her bust. The recaps and previews that accompanied the broadcast versions are included along with the brief Inside the Story segments. You also get treated to five deleted scenes from four different episodes which are said to have been cut for time, which is odd on premium cable, but it’s nice to have them here. You also get Mission Control (5:17) providing you with a look at the amazing newsroom set that just needed a console by console tour to explain what they do. Better is the roundtable conversation with Sorkin, Daniels, Mortimer, Waterston, director Greg Mottola, and executive producer Alan Poul where they reflect on the first season with some funny anecdotes.

Season two is coming in July so this is a good opportunity to introduce yourself to the show or refresh your memories so you know who is entangled with who when the cameras go live once more. For those who don’t like smart writing and smarter reflections on the state of American politics, there are other options.

The Point Radio: One More Time For THE VENTURE BROTHERS

PT053113THE VENTURE BROTHERS kicks off a new season on Adult Swim this Sunday at midnight. we talk to the brains behind the cartoon to see what is coming up, plus there is more summer TV this week with a new season of AMERICA’S GOT TALENT. Judges Howie Mandel and Mel B tell us why this season has a lot of differences. And Doctor Who…a racist? Really?

Take us ANYWHERE! The Point Radio App is now in the iTunes App store – and it’s FREE! Just search under “pop culture The Point”. The Point Radio  – 24 hours a day of pop culture fun for FREE. GO HERE and LISTEN FREE on any computer or on any other  mobile device with the Tune In Radio app – and follow us on Twitter @ThePointRadio.

Mike Gold: Oh, Time-Lord! Abuse Me! Abuse Me!

Gold Art 130529Yeah, I’m gonna get political on your ass. Pop culture and politics; gasoline and fire.

I do not know which is worse: the self-victimization that we call being “politically correct” or the rampant naval-snorting of the cloistered elite. I do know there’s a book coming out this August called Doctor Who And Race, and it couldn’t be more full of shit if it had been printed on toilet paper.

Here’s the bird’s-eye lowdown on the book: a bunch of narcissistic holy-holy academicians got together to prove they are smarter than you are by writing a whole bunch of essays that definitively declare the 50-year old television phenomenon Doctor Who to be racist and, oh yeah, sexist.

What evidence do they offer? Their central point is that the lead character, the Doctor, is a white male and has remained that way despite many “regenerations.” To tell the truth, each incarnation of the Doctor also was humanoid, so it follows that the hundreds of producers, script editors, directors, actors and writers, lo these many years, are also anti-space alien. After all, the Doctor clearly favors Earth humans over such space alien races as, oh, say, the Daleks. When’s he going to regenerate into a being made of anti-matter?

(By the way, I am compelled to point out that the phrase “space alien” is amazingly stupid, and if you don’t use it when referring to all those outworlders out there, you are not necessarily prejudiced against Mexicans or the Irish.)

Verity LambertNow I don’t know if Gallifreyans are capable of changing sex and/or race upon regeneration. I’d be perfectly fine if Doctor Twelve were a woman and/or of a different race. Way back in 1963, the original producer of Doctor Who was a woman named Verity Lambert. Can we stop for a minute and appreciate just how revolutionary that was back in the day? She produced the first 86 episodes, moving on to other projects in 1965. There weren’t a lot of women producing television series back then. Or today, for that matter.

Integral to the show are its co-stars, often referred to as companions. Since Elisabeth Sladen was cast as Sarah Jane Smith in the early 1970s, the women who have labored alongside the Doctor have been strong professionals who were much more than set decoration and “save me” victims. Indeed, that tradition actually got its start with the very first episode, with the highly intelligent and cosmically capable Susan Foreman, played by Carole Ann Ford. That, too, was a big deal in 1963.

Since its highly successful revival in 2005, the TARDIS has opened its blue doors to black co-stars and to women co-stars, and even to a black woman co-star. And to many actors of differing origins, reflecting contemporary sensibilities.

This book also cites the 36-year old episode “The Talons Of Weng-Chiang” as proof of the program’s racism because the villain was a Chinese man who was played by a white dude. Well, there’s no argument that Asians have gotten the short end of the stick when it comes to casting decisions, but in 1977 casting white people was more than merely the norm. It’s like slamming Kabuki for not having employed enough women.

Yes, indeed, the lead actor has always been a white male. That doesn’t mean it always will be, unless there’s something about Gallifreyan physiognomy that I don’t understand (and, doubtless, there’s a lot about Gallifreyan physiognomy that I don’t understand). But, deal with this absolute fact, you simpering monkeys of myopia and self-hatred: there is nothing inherently wrong with being a white male. If you are looking to create a new apartheid for that species, you are as disgusting and as morally diseased as those you blanketly define as racist and sexist.

Hey, do you know which other white British male has been around for a half-century? James Bond, as in the James Bond movie franchise. And in all those movies, not once have they cast anybody except a white British male in the lead. Not a single actor from Togo has been above the title. What’s up with that? Clearly, producer Barbara Broccoli is a racist, sexist pig.

Here’s the rub. Around the year 2063, bunch of professors and self-endowed intellectuals are going to rip you a new asshole because you were astonishingly insensitive to groups of people and to ways of thinking that presently are beyond your ken. This will happen; our history makes this perfectly clear. So pull your head out of your own vomit and realize you are no better than anyone else.

Bottom line: if you’re looking to feel your exploitation, start by looking in the mirror.

WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON: Mindy Newell

THURSDAY MORNING: Dennis O’Neil