Category: Columns

Marc Alan Fishman: Gazing Beyond the Gender Gap

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By the time this column posts, I will have seen the new Ghostbusters flick from the Freaks and Geeks guru Paul Feig. I have chosen to see the film based not on any lingering love of the first two incarnations of the franchise (but put a pin in that until next week). I am not seeing it because of any particular love of the paranormal. And I’m especially not seeing it because a who’s-who of amazingly funny women are starring in it.

I’m seeing it because it looks like a fun flick to shut my chattering brain off for a couple of hours. Maybe giggle and marvel at some special effects in the process.

Meanwhile I also saw this week that Iron Man will be played by a black woman in some upcoming issues of the series. I’ve literally no doubt that the move isn’t permanent. I’m chalking it up to Marvel’s occasional jones to do the unexpected. It’s a great marketing plot to enrage Old School fanboys, while making millennials have hope for the future. It’s the battle-cry of the embittered old farts of fandom… “It’s not my Iron Man / Ghostbusters / Peanuts / Voltron / Power Rangers!”

Ahh, but that’s where you’re wrong, Grandpa. It’s merely a horse of a different color.

I’m personally mollified by the continual degradation of our pop culture society’s abandoning the shades of grey that better fit our worlds of fiction. To take a hard line stance over the casting of a female in what was once a male role, a black person in what was once a white role, or even a CGI character where hand-drawn animation once stood is just lunacy to me. At the end of the day, I don’t care who. I care what, why, and how.

While the 2003 Daredevil film will be fondly remembered as dreck, I actually liked it quite a bit. Sure it was muddied by Collin Farrell clearly ingesting a bit too much coke before filming. Sure it introduced the Greek ninja goddess Elektra as a supremely white chick. But you know what? It also gave us Michael Clark Duncan owning the Wilson Fisk role. I recall some sects of fans going banana-sandwiches over the darkening of the character.  And then I recall seeing the film, and basking in the depiction. Duncan was strong, stoic, and the apex of scene-eating-villainous. It never mattered once that he was black. Nor did he speak in jive, or really reference his ethnicity at all.

And yes: Vincent D’Onofrio’s Fisk is a million times better… but you’re taking a slow burn performance in a carefully built show vs. a blockbuster built to bank bucks in the short term. But I digress.

In the last decade or so, specifically in comics, we’ve seen a veritable gold rush of diversity. To quote Vox: “[Marvel] has already given us a black Captain America, a female Thor, a Muslim American Ms. Marvel, and a black-Latino Spider-Man. That push has been met with applause from fans who want to be included, praise and recognition from critics, and prickly criticism from comic purists who believe their beloved titles have been shunted aside for gimmicks and stunts.” And while those purists poo-poo the notion of such hypocrisy, I’ve been able to enjoy hearing about new readers coming to comics because they now had a character to relate to. Comic books (and I’d go far as to say science-fiction and fantasy) have long been the secret playground for those with a better vision of society. Where the world is color and gender blind. Where the story above all else determines the validity of a character.

Maybe I’m just that liberal a person; I don’t balk at any casting of any character in any fiction for any reason with regards to sexual orientation, gender, creed, religion, or pizza topping preference. It will always be about the character in context to the plot around them. If Riri Williams dons the red and gold armor to do battle with nefarious ne’er-do-wells, so be it. So long as she provides depth and clarity to the book; giving me, a long time reader, something new to respond to. If the Ghostbusters of 2016 are women? That’s fantastic. More so, if they provide a new take on the classic model of snarky comedians waging war on special effects. Regardless of erogenous zone paraphernalia… plot overpowers all.

And at the end of the day, if you want to call it a marketing gimmick, so be it. Because if the final piece of fiction is good enough, then you’ll swallow your ignorance with a smile and a changed mind.

The Law Is A Ass # 392: Bob’s Brain Has A Darkside

I am reminded of a story my father told me. What story, I’ll get to that shortly. First I’ve got to tell you about another story.

That other story is “Sleepwalker” from Tales From the Darkside# 1. For those of you who, unlike me, aren’t as old as Pangean dirt, there was a syndicated TV show of that same name combined back when Hector was a pup, and I was in my 30s. A half-hour anthology show featuring horror, science-fiction, and fantasy stories that usually climaxed with a twist ending. The show wasn’t bad, but I had a problem with it. I was raised on The Twilight Zone and EC comics. I cut my teeth on twist endings. For me the endings of Tales From the Darkside had as much twist as a pretzel rod.

Joe Hill, a fantasist with a pedigree, both a literary pedigree and a literal pedigree, tried to revive the series for the CW. The series didn’t make in onto TV, but Hill is adapting four of the scripts he wrote for the show into a comic-book series of the same name. And that first issue is the other story I’m telling you about first.

Ziggy was a recent high-school graduate who was working as a lifeguard at a municipal swimming pool on Brody Island. His lawyer mother was out-of-town on business, so he stayed out partying all night then went to his lifeguard job during the day. As bad ideas go, this wasn’t like texting and driving. This was more like typesetting a magazine article complete with multiple fonts and drop caps while driving.

The sleep-deprived Ziggy fell asleep on duty and Ellen Miller died.

Only she didn’t drown. Leastwise, I don’t think she did.

Neither did the coroner. He testified during some courtroom proceeding Ziggy called a trial that Ellen had a weakness in the wall of her heart and Ziggy he probably couldn’t have saved Ellen’s life even if he had “gotten to her in time.” According to Ziggy, the hearing ended in less than an hour with the judge telling Ziggy that he shouldn’t blame himself.

That’s when I went tilt. The story called the proceeding both a hearing and a trial. My brain, with it’s mind trained to think like a lawyer even though none of my law school professors looked even remotely like John Houseman wanted to know. Was it a hearing or a trial?

The proceeding happened so quickly that Ziggy’s mother had to cut her business trip short. That’s not enough time between event and proceeding for it to have been a full trial. Trials take time to mount. Even on small islands with small populations, trials for negligent homicide don’t generally come to court for weeks or months. So let’s take trial off the table. Ziggy, the narrator of the story, probably didn’t know the difference between a trial and a hearing and misspoke, or mis-first-person-narrative-captioned, when he called it a trial. Hearing it is.

Except there appeared to be a jury in what appeared to be the jury box and you don’t have juries in hearings. Only, was it a jury box? The group of people were seated in what looked like a standard jury rig, except for the fact that it was on the other side of the room from the witness stand. The judge’s bench separated the witness stand from the jury box. In every courtroom I’ve been in, the jury box is right next to the witness stand, the better to hear the witnesses with.

So, let’s assume this wasn’t a jury box because it wasn’t where a jury box was supposed to be. Maybe it was an auxiliary seating area for the spectators. Boy there must not be a lot to do on Brody’s Island other than that swimming pool, if the local courthouse routinely gets so many spectators it needs overflow seating. Okay, no jury box means that wasn’t a jury and the proceeding wasn’t a trial. It was a hearing.

But what kind of a hearing? The coroner testified. Could it have been a coroner’s inquest? Not likely. First, coroner’s inquests might be all the rage over in England, when they’re not too busy having their Brexit, lunch and dinner, but they’re aren’t as common in the United States. Moreover, a coroner generally presides over a coroner’s inquest, not a judge. Our hearing definitely had a judge.

I’m guessing it was a preliminary hearing, in which the judge heard some witnesses and determined whether there was enough probable cause to bind Ziggy over for trial. That would be in a courtroom and presided over by a judge. And it only last an hour after the judge heard the coroner testify that Ellen died from a weakness in the wall of her heart, like a ruptured aortic aneurysm, and Ziggy couldn’t have done anything to save her life. Even a tough-on-crime judge would have to find no probable cause after the coroner testified the defendant didn’t kill the victim.

I was almost satisfied. The only question I still had was this: What was Ziggy doing in the witness stand? The prosecution couldn’t call Ziggy to the witness stand. I don’t know what state Brody Island is in, but I don’t need to. All 50 of them recognize the 5th Amendment and its right against self-incrimination. So the State didn’t call Ziggy.

Did he testify on his own behalf? At a trial, maybe. Sometimes defendants testify in order to present a defense with the best possible evidence. But not at a pre-trial hearing. When all that’s happening is the judge hearing the state’s case to determine whether there’s probable cause, no “high-powered lawyer” is going to let the defendant testify. There’s a greater percentage of impurities in Ivory Soap, than there is of allowing a defendant to testify in a preliminary hearing.

I have a theory why Ziggy was in the witness stand. The story was about Ziggy being sleep deprived and sleepwalking through life. Maybe Ziggy sleepwalked into the courtroom and sat in the witness stand by accident. No one moved him because you’re not supposed to wake a sleepwalker.

Okay, it’s not a great theory. But it’s still a hell of a lot better than believing that a defense attorney let the defendant testify at a preliminary hearing.

So after studying the contextual clues of the story, I’ve determined that the proceeding shown in Tales From the Darkside # 1 was a preliminary probable cause hearing.

Now here’s the story my father told me that I was reminded of. When he was in college, my father took a course on Shakespeare. One day the professor came into class with the biggest, broadest cat-that-swallowed-the-canary smile imaginable on his face. The cat didn’t just eat the canary. It had canary cordon bleu, asparagus with hollandaise sauce, and La Bonnotte potatoes; washed it down with a bottle of Chateau Lafite, and got double points for the whole meal on his cash-back rewards card. The elated professor announced that after thirty years of close and intensive study of Hamlet’s text as well as the language, idioms, and word usage of Elizabethan England, he had concluded that, yes, Hamlet had definitely slept with Ophelia.

My father asked one simple question, “And that changes the play, how?”

The professor deflated quicker than a Macy’s balloon after a close encounter of the AK-47 kind.

I was reminded of that story, when I realized that my studying contextual clues to determine Ziggy was in a preliminary hearing didn’t change the story, either. But at least I didn’t spend thirty years determining the answer. Or even thirty minutes. And, unlike Ziggy, I didn’t lose any sleep over my problem.

Martha Thomases: Go, Pokémon, Go!

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Over the weekend I noticed my Facebook and Twitter feeds were overrun with new words and phrases. What is a “Pokewalk?” Why were so many people looking for gyms?

As you probably know, the cause was Pokémon Go, a break-out cell phone game that is crashing servers and bringing people together all over the country. This is in addition to a successful roll-out in Australia and New Zealand. In fact, “By July 8, just two days after its launch in the U.S., Australia, and New Zealand, Pokémon Go was installed on more than 5% of all the Android devices in the U.S., surpassing popular mobile-dating app Tinder, which was running on a little over 2% of all Android devices.”

Get that? Looking for cute little virtual animals is more popular than looking for convenient, no-strings-attached sex.

Sometimes, I just don’t understand kids today.

I missed the most rabid parts of the original Pokémon fad back in the 1990s because my kid was a little bit too old for it, but I can totally understand why this new game is so popular. In the original, you looked for a variety of Pokémon (or “pocket monsters”) on your video game screen, and when you collected the most, you won. Yes, there were more wrinkles to it than that, but the kids I watched play were more excited by the quest than by the battles.

In the new version, the game involves many of the cool features on your smartphone, especially the camera and the GPS. By looking at the world around you via your screen, you can occasionally see a Pokémon, and by swiping across, you can capture it. Then there are a bunch of things you can do with your collection, like taking them to the gym to make them stronger.

When I was at the Green Market on Saturday, talking politics with the folks at the Anthony Road Winery booth, two African-American women came up. One was ready to try wine, but the other was suddenly interrupting, taking pictures, and making us laugh. She was so excited!

Turns out, they had found a Pokémon.

Unlike so many video games, Pokémon Go seems to be encouraging people to get out of their homes, to walk around and explore (even if it’s just for some pixels), even meet new people and talk with them. In some cases, they might even notice the world around them and learn something.

This is a good thing. At least, it’s a good thing for those of us who enjoy a certain amount of privilege. The article in the link really made me question a lot of my assumptions. The author points out that if a black man is playing Pokémon Go, exploring a new neighborhood by walking around and circling in on a Pokémon, there is a real chance that someone will see him, assume he’s a criminal, and call the cops. The fact that he’s only looking at a phone won’t necessarily save him.

Pokemon SquatIt wouldn’t be the first time police have mistaken a phone for a gun. It wouldn’t even be the first time this year.

It’s also disturbing that the game imagery has already been coopted by racists.

Is this any reason to deny people joy? Of course not. The two women I talked to at the market were politically engaged and had been demonstrating all week with Black Lives Matter because of Baton Rough and Minnesota and Dallas, but on a Saturday morning, they wanted some goofy playtime. Whether I want to play the game or not (and, really, I stare at enough screens as it is and I don’t need a new addiction), I sure as hell don’t want to limit anyone else’s fun.

I’d just ask for people, in their zeal, to remember that there is more to life than finding Pokémon. There are other people on the planet, and on the sidewalk. Please don’t get so caught up in your quest that you wander into traffic, or into a unit of Storm Troopers.

I’d like to see Pokémon Go used as a force for good. For example, on Twitter, a person named Kris Straub said, “Dear Nintendo, please put super rare Pokémon at polling places this November.”

Tweets: Adventure Time Card Wars DVD Review

Anya might have fallen asleep when The Tweeks sat down to watch Cartoon Network’s All-New Adventure Time: Card Wars DVD, but Maddy stayed awake for all 16 episodes and has a totally mathematical review for you. Though Anya manages to tell everyone what she really thinks about Maddy’s obsession with Pokemon Go.

Anyway, back to the Adventure Time DVD! It’s Tweeks approved and has some of Maddy’s all-time favorite episodes along with some newer ones she’s never seen. The video starts out with the original “Card Wars” episode from 2012 and the new “Daddy-Daughter Card Wars” episode about the epic card game (that you can really play).

Available on DVD for $18.94 on July 12, 2106, this DVD runs 176 minutes and features the following episodes:

1. Card Wars
2. Daddy-Daughter Card Wars
3. What was Missing
4. Up a Tree
5. A Glitch is a Glitch
6. Nemisis
7. Evergreen
8. Everything’s Jake
9. The Diary
10. Dentist
11. Varmints
12. Football
13. Crossover
14. (The) Hall of Egress
15. Flute Spell
16. The Thin Yellow Line

Dennis O’Neil: Guns?

Six Gun HeroesSometimes I ask myself whacky questions. Like, do rhino teeth get filled? Are we just computer constructs inn some alien game and if so are there rules and how can I get a copy of them? Who cleaned up after Hannibal’s elephants? How did Noah keep all those animals in the ark from eating each other?

There’s been a lot of bangedy bang in the news lately and so what else is new and the answer is nothing, but this prompts another whacky question: why can’t somebody do something about the gun problem? Nothing draconian: despite the irresponsible claims of some political types, Mr. Obama doesn’t want to take your firearms away. If that was on the agenda, you’d think that the presidential minions would have at least begun the effort by now. Dude’s been in office more than seven years and so far he hasn’t confiscated so much as a cap pistol.

Making an effort to forbid guns to known criminals or mental patients would be a possible opener. So would a national registry of folks who want to buy guns. In other words, let’s clamp down on the gunnies as fiercely and mercilessly as we clamp down on those young snots who want drivers’ licenses!

But wait! Enough of this: we’re not in polemic mode today. What we are in is question asking mode – whacky questions – and so here’s another: if there were no firearms, if that ninth century Chinese alchemist had misplaced the recipe and hadn’t bothered to look for it, what kind of action stories would we be writing? I’m pretty sure that at least some of our stories would be of the action variety because that kind of stuff is packaged with our genes. I’m sorry, but a liking for action – oh, all right, a liking for violence – is part of our survival kit. Our mythologies are, from the very earliest recorded history until now, full of warfare and combat and those tales are the offspring of the impulses that gave our ancestors the gumption to lift weapons and protect the family and the tribe.

Gilgamesh, meet James Bond.

Occasionally, I’ve allowed myself to wonder if I could create a hero, a rip-snortin’ justice bringer (possibly wearing a costume) whose adventures did not include dealing with guns. As a science fiction or fantasy piece, sure, easy, no problem. But a story set in our time and world, or a close facsimile of our world – not so easy. Guns are all over the place, wielded by bad guys and good guys alike. What would our world be without them? Has the centrality of guns in our national narratives taught us that gunfire is what solves problems? No need to look any further than the nearest Glock, to deal with it, whatever it is, this time.

Oh yeah, did I mention that another shooting made the news today?

Molly Jackson: Roaming Free

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This past Sunday afternoon, I was exhausted. I had been traveling for two days and had finally been reunited with my bed. Alas, I discovered that I needed to go back out to get some toilet paper from the corner store so I grabbed my phone and purse to head out. I got home over two hours later. No real emergency happened; I found a diverse group of Pokémon hunters on my way back and decided to join up with them to roam my local neighborhood.

Now if you’ve read my columns on a regular basis, you aren’t surprised that I’m playing Pokémon Go. I’m predictable that way. However, even I didn’t predict the all-ages response that Pokémon Go would receive. If you’ve read any article this week, then you’ve seen someone extolling the virtues of this game. And every article talks about the surprise social community that has sprung up overnight. Personally, I didn’t believe it until that day. But when I was walking home from the store, with my phone out in the correct hunting position, it was like I was part of this new community. All walks of life were out doing the exact same thing as me. We were sharing tips on the street and before long, I was joking and cursing with these people whose names I never really learned. Names didn’t matter; we were fellow hunters.

nyc city streetFor the record, teams do matter. #TeamValor!

And the benefits don’t stop there for me. I’ve probably spent more time outside in the past week then I have since back when I was a camp counselor. And I’ve walked a helluva lot more as well. And all of this hasn’t cost me an in-game dime so far. I’ve probably spent a little more than usual on cold beverage during long walks.

With the good comes the bad though. I agree, there are spots where this game just isn’t appropriate. Pokémon Go doesn’t belong in memorial locations, museums or cemeteries. Anyone playing the game in the 9/11 museum or the Holocaust museum needs to rethink their priorities. Not to mention the poor guy up in Massachusetts whose home because a Pokémon Gym. Locations should have an option to remove themselves from the game without any issue but people also need to remain conscientious human beings. Don’t block the sidewalk or a storefront because you need to stop for a catch. Don’t invade people’s privacy to chase a Pokémon down. And whatever you do, do not drive while playing!

The other big concern brought up is the real world implications of playing this game. With the country’s need to presume African American males are doing something wrong, holding a phone out could get another person killed. It’s a disturbing thought that a game as simple as Pokémon Go could do that but, sadly, the events of last week prove that it is possible. Other criminal activity includes a Pokémon Go lure being used to entice hunters to a spot to rob them rather than collect Pokémon. And I won’t deny that as a woman, I have an innate fear of walking too far (especially in an unknown area) by myself, especially at night. This global game provides an excellent opportunity for sexual assault in remote areas that might have a Pokéspot or gym.

All of that should make me want to shut down my account and ignore this game. But instead I’m going to focus on how much fun I had on Sunday. Yea, I was aware of all of these bad possibilities and I was always conscious of my surroundings. I never went anywhere where I would feel uncomfortable. But outside with these people, I connected not just with them, but with the entire community. Now I see my fellow hunters, all ages and genders, catching Pokémon everywhere. And yesterday, when I ended my 1.5 mile overly complicated walk from the subway, I felt really good and happy about the time I spent playing and the people I had met that day.

Will this game still be this popular in six months? Probably not. Right now it is the hot new thing, and that will change. But right now, this country’s favorite pastime is going outside and taking a walk. Who would have thought that would ever happen?

Mike Gold: The Cursed Earth Is Whole Again!

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Judge Dredd Cursed EarthJudge Dredd: The Cursed Earth Uncensored • Writers: Pat Mills, John Wagner, Chris Lowder • Artists: Brian Bolland, Mick McMahon • Rebellion A/S, $35.00 hardcover, $15.00 Kindle edition. 208 pages.

Almost 40 years ago, I was sitting in my office at DC Comics in Rockefeller Plaza creatively shirking my work when the mail room guy wheeled up to my desk and dropped off a package. It was from my friend Richard Burton, then a major comics fanzine editor in England. It contained the first three issues of a brand new weekly comic book titled 2000 AD, along with a note from Richard noting he would be curious as to my opinion. Hey, free comics for a letter? Fine by me.

2000 AD-2I proceeded to read this new anthology comic. Lucky for me, it is perfectly legitimate to read comics on the job when you’re working at a comic book publishing house. The first issue was great fun, wholly unlike anything I had ever seen come out of the States. Dinosaurs, time travel, futuristic sports, militant counter-revolutionary truck drivers… for 1977, it was great fun that was simply off the charts.

Then I read the second issue. It launched a series called “Judge Dredd” and, if I thought the rest of the anthology was extreme, then Judge Dredd was life-threatening. It was as if Joe Strummer’s best-articulated worst nightmare had come to life. Outrageous, to be sure, with a satirical bite that would send King Kong yelping to mommy. The folks at IPC Magazines invented a whole new age of comics.

2000 AD-1About two months into its second year, 2000 AD started up a 25-week storyline called “The Cursed Earth.” To borrow a term once voiced by Harlan Ellison over a similarly outrageous comics series, “The Cursed Earth” was totally bugfuck. Dredd was tasked to traverse the area between America’s two Mega-Cities to deliver a much-needed vaccine (here in States we usually hire huskies for that job). The Cursed Earth, as the area was called, was a lawless home to a myriad of mutants, militants, misfits and monsters. A horrible, horrible place that Judge Joe Dredd might call “a nice vacation.”

Part of the storyline had one town, owned by the McDonald’s Corporation, declare war on their neighboring town, owned by the Burger King Corporation. Yep, Ronald McDonald and the Burger King led their respective troops into merciless, bloody battle. That worked out well, so Dredd encountered other corporate spokescharacters such as the Michelin tire man, the Jolly Green Giant, Colonel Sanders and my personal favorite, Speedy Alka-Seltzer.

Let me remind you: I just said this was a totally bugfuck Joe Strummer nightmare. It was also one of the most exciting continued stories I’d ever consumed in any medium. Primarily written by Pat Mills (who created 2000 AD) and drawn by Mick McMahon and spelled out by writers John Wagner (who co-created Dredd with Carlos Esquerra) and Chris Lowder and artist Brian Bolland, “The Cursed Earth” was a non-stop joy ride through psychedelic hell. Case in point: the only way to find artists with styles more disparate than Bolland’s and McMahon’s would be to toss Charles M. Schulz into the mix. It didn’t matter. The story worked out seamlessly.

2000 AD has reprinted most of these stories before but had been reluctant to reprint certain chapters after talking with various and sundry solicitors representing certain trademarked spokescharacters. Well, somebody got over this because, as you no doubt noticed, this high-quality reprint is titled Judge Dredd: The Cursed Earth Uncensored.

This is an excellent package, perfect for those of us who have grown a bit jaded by reboots, rebirths and re-tweaks. Just as the times caught up with other cultural barricade breakers such as The Simpsons and South Park, these days the Judge’s stories seem a bit more calm. Hell, after 40 years of weekly publication and a half-century of the companion monthly Judge Dredd Megazine – not to mention sundry original series published in strange foreign locals such as “California” – it is no wonder. But The Cursed Earth Uncensored remains as astonishing and as entertaining as it did in 1978.

Get this book. And while you’re reading it, listen to some Clash records.

Michael Davis: I Am Not Tyrone

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I am Not Tyrone Cash… but I’ll get to that later.

Let me make some things clear. I bare no ill will towards Milestone 2.0. I’m doing what I need to do to deal with my bouts of depression and because my business requires I do so now.

What is it I need to do, exactly?

Telling what transpired so to destroy any and all doubts, there was something unprofessional about me that caused my former partners and friends to dismiss me with not a word before or since as to why.

Derek Dingle gave a hint (before he hung up on me) that when I left Milestone 20 plus years ago. It was my lawsuit that prompted it all. OK, that’s revisionist history if ever there was.

There was no lawsuit. And even if there had been, so fucking what?

Derek if you’re reading this I suggest you take a look at the memos from that time. If you lack some, don’t worry I have them all. Including the letter from DC and Milestone that Clarence Avant called me enraged over.

You know the one it involved my status at Milestone and DC. I was speaking to Clarence not too long ago about that very letter; he’s not too happy about it now either.

Like I said, I’m not looking to hurt Milestone; for almost two years I’ve written very supported articles. Yeah, some digs but much more positives.  The only public statements attributed to them concerning me was I was not lead creator on Static I was ‘one of five guys in the room.”

Well, I can prove otherwise. Can they?

As I said I’m not trying to hurt them, I just want to help me.

I’m also not telling my side of the story. I’m saying what happened to me; there’s a difference. Everything I write I can prove with validation.

But not today.

This was to be another installment of my Milestone 2.0 narrative. I’d like to get what happened to me on the record before Rich Johnson goes live with his story but this is trivial shit compared to what’s crucial in Black America, chief among that the recent crop of unarmed Black men killed by police.

I thought I’d attempt to explain to those readers at ComicMix how it affects us as comic book creators but more importantly as black men.

Regardless if it’s a huge misunderstanding or horrible decision making the odds of Derek Dingle, Reggie Hudlin, Denys Cowan and Michael Davis coming together are slim to you must be out of your motherfucking mind.

That does not mean I don’t care about them. I do.

We may not be on the same page regarding Milestone but as black men, we are united because we are all seen as one in eyes of some in law-enforcement. If one of those men were felled by a policeman’s bullet, it would hurt me beyond measure.

And I would know, I would know without a shadow of a doubt they were wrongly targeted. Because they live the kind of life that defy that ending to theirs as do I.

It won’t matter, any black men is subject to capital punishment no matter if talking to friends, selling cigarettes or reaching for what an officer asked for.

Mothers of young inner-city black boys’ have one thought over all, how to keep their child alive.  Poor parents of any race face the same problem. Black parents face the added danger of protecting their sons from those who are entrusted to protect them, the police.

Soon, very soon, I will be off probation. Why was I on probation? Two white people harassed me all night at a Karaoke bar. I ignored what they were saying. Their goal for was for me to engage them.

As I was leaving, I heard something along these lines: “Don’t forget to bring your grandmother and sister some crack.”

That’s not an exact quote (music was playing), however sister and grandmother I understood.

There was no way they could know both my sister and grandmother died horrible deaths at someone’s hand it was just another series of insults to them.

I didn’t give a fuck. They went there.

I waited for the music to stop and the applauds to die down before I went here:

“Fuck you and your families.”

They ran across the floor towards me punched me in my face a couple of times and wanted to hurt me badly that was clear.

The man currently residing in a tree lined lovely community left, and the guy from Far Rockaway, and South Jamaica Queens showed up.

That was the wrong nigger to fuck with as they found out.

Once they met that guy they pussied away. Just as quick the person from the tree lined block returned, saying goodbye to the bartender and my waitress who both asked me if I was alright telling me those guys are never coming back.

I was under the impression the bartender was going to call the cops. I told him if he needed a statement from me I’d be happy to oblige and the moment I said that I regretted it.

Rule # 1: If A Black Man, Never Talk To The Cops Unless You Absolutely Have To.

Then I thought, I had not done anything wrong, plus the whole thing was captured on tape. I went home secure in the knowledge I’d done nothing wrong and had ample proof to such.

Witnesses?

Check!

Videotape?

Check!

A warm send-off from the staff?

Check!

I was the one attacked?

Check!

The deck was stacked extremely high in my favor. What possibly could go wrong? I thought of every conceivable way it could go south and came up with only one answer.

I was black. When I was asked to give a statement some days later I was accompanied by my lawyer. Witnesses, videotape, warm send off from the staff and a high priced attorney.  Now that’s what I call stacked!

As it turned out, I had nothing to worry about, exactly what I thought would happen, happened.

I was arrested. Did I mention the whole thing captured on tape?  The tape that showed they attacked me? I did say that right?

This incident is not unusual at all to black men. Those who had no doubt I was lying included the two who attacked me, the police and DA.

The only people on my side was everybody else in the bar. That includes a witness from Japan, and I’ll never forget her name: Sony Camera.

So, I looked forward to my day in court so I could quickly take a plea.

Why did I take a plea? When the D.A. refuses to look at the videotape but is ready to go to trial the two witness statements used to arrest me were written by the two people who ran across the room and attacked me and all other eyewitness accounts are ignored, if you’re a black man it’s time to take a plea.

I took a plea because I could afford what a good lawyer charges. I can’t afford what the criminal justice system may cost me.  No black man has that kind of wealth. When a black man with the means to fight goes to court, he may be found innocent, but we’re suspects all our lives.

Michael Jackson was considered innocent in the eyes of the law, but every effort is being made to ensure he remains guilty in the eyes of history. Now they find kiddie porn? Ya think that would have been useful during the trial?

Name a famous black person once acquitted not still thought of as guilty.

They found kiddie porn now?

That’s some Tyrone Cash bullshit and by Tyrone Cash bullshit I mean stupid. Cash is a Mark Millar creation. In a nutshell, he’s a genius scientist who figures out the formula that gives him the powers of the Hulk.

When his brilliant mind becomes a simple one he no longer understands the complex theories of gamma radiation all he wants to do is smash, like the other Hulk Dr. Bruce Banner.

Sorry, I forgot Tyrone Cash is black.

He retains his intellect and uses his Hulk powers to become a drug dealer! Why? The same reason some police would shoot an incident hard working man reaching for his identification, it’s easy to believe all we are is thugs. That’s what FOX News tells everyone, we’re thugs on television, we’re criminals in the movies, and now the Republican Party Nominee is telling the world African Americans are thugs.

In other news, as soon as I’m officially off probation I’m suing some individuals over what they did to my life. In civil court they won’t refuse to look at the tape and all those witness reports will also come into play.

It’s a little thing but someone needs to answer this question, I was attacked, so why I was arrested? I’m going loud on this with a little help from some well-placed friends. I’m not Tyrone Cash I’m not a thug nor is most black men. So why must we fight and die to prove it?

Joe Corallo: With Allies Like Simon Pegg…

Simon PeggThe third installment of the rebooted Star Trek franchise, Beyond, is set to hit theaters July 22nd. It’s been announced that in this film that Hikaru Sulu, portrayed by actor John Cho, will be revealed as gay. John Cho apparently discussed this with George Takei last year, in which Mr. Takei expressed his displeasure with the idea and lobbied film director Justin Lin to reconsider the decision to make Sulu gay. The movie was written by Simon Pegg, who plays Scottie, and Doug Jung. The Star Trek Beyond team went ahead with their original idea anyway.

George Takei, who played Sulu in the original series and seven Star Trek movies, was delighted that they would be adding a gay character to the franchise but was disappointed that they chose to make that character Sulu and should have made a new character instead. This led to Simon Pegg responding rather harshly that he disagreed with George Takei and creating a new character would be tokenism. Then openly gay Spock actor Zachary Quinto said he was disappointed that George Takei was disappointed. All of that can be read here.

Now there is a lot to unpack here. Why would an openly gay man and LGBTQ activist like George Takei be opposed to Hikaru Sulu being portrayed as gay in the new movie? Part of the reason is in this quote from George Takei himself, “Unfortunately, it’s a twisting of [‘Star Trek’ creator Gene Roddenberry’s] creation, to which he put in so much thought. I think it’s really unfortunate.” He goes on to stress that this is the 50th anniversary year of Star Trek and how that adds to the unfortunate nature of it all. Simon Pegg goes on to counter that stating the decision to make Sulu gay is in line with Gene Roddenberry’s vision.

startrekbeyondRoddenberry himself did want to have LGBTQ representation, but at the time he was helming Star Trek that was impossible. George Takei’s point is not that Gene Roddenberry would be opposed to a gay character in his vision, but rather that Gene thought out all of his characters so fully that if they want to include a gay character that character should be a new one.

At this point I can’t help but think to myself just who in the hell does Simon Pegg think he is? George Takei worked closely with Gene Roddenberry for years. They talked about the character of Hikaru Sulu many times together. Simon Pegg has never worked professionally with Gene Roddenberry. It was incredibly poor form for Simon Pegg to try and counter George Takei’s claim that this goes against Gene’s vision. Honestly, I found it insulting on Simon Pegg’s part. He’s a professional and he should know better.

Going back to George Takei as an LGBTQ activist and how that and his sexual orientation inform his worldview, I think it’s very important to consider that before responding in the way that Simon Pegg, as well as Zachary Quinto did. Not only is George Takei a member of the LGBTQ community, he is also a member of the Asian community in the United States, another minority, and he and his family were subjected to life in an internment camp from 1942 through the end of World War II. Later, he would have to navigate being a closeted gay man in Hollywood. He is a man who has gone through a lot, experienced a great deal, and deserves more thought and consideration towards his ideas than was given to him by the team on Star Trek Beyond.

Simon Pegg is not a member of the LGBTQ community. He is an ally at best. His statements echo those of many other well-meaning allies who have not necessarily contributed positively to the community. I’ve written previously about Iceman being outed in Marvel Comics and was strongly opposed to the idea then. What they have done with the character since has not been positive in any measurable way to me and I stand by my thoughts on Marvel’s decision. The situation with Sulu in the new franchise is very similar.

When it came to Marvel outing Iceman, it came off like cheating at the diversity olympics. Same goes for what Simon Pegg is doing with Sulu. Taking an already established character with a fan base and adding something to that character to make them more diverse comes off as a way to try to add diversity without the risk, and we see right through that. Rather than make an investment with a new character, they’re trying to play it safe and it comes off as lazy more than anything else. I will say it’s nice that Star Trek is at least creating a non-white LGBTQ character through this, but this is still not ideal.

Star Trek ChoWhat both Marvel with Iceman and Simon Pegg do not seem to understand is that retconning old characters as gay to expand diversity isn’t as helpful as they think it is. I understand that they all think that in a way it’s both good for the LGBTQ community and good for profits, but it’s not what the LGBTQ community as a whole needs.

We need new characters, our own characters, histories and stories, not press releases with straight cis white allies patting themselves on the back congratulating themselves on how progressive they are. Especially when one considers how forward thinking Star Trek was in 1966, and how 50 years later we haven’t even had a single gay character of any importance, let alone bi or trans. The Star Trek franchise went from being something of a gold standard in diversity to falling behind compared to contemporary science fiction. They shouldn’t be patting themselves on the back for how progressive they all are, but rather they should be apologizing to us for having taken so long to even attempt to catch up and that all they can offer us is a lazy Sulu reveal.

Something equally important is LGBTQ representation in the background. It’s not enough just to have just one character in the movie represent an entire group of people. It all needs to be sprinkled into the background. How about two women flirting in the break room? Maybe someone has an image of their same sex partner at their workstation. What about a background character just bringing up their same sex partner casually in conversation as someone they’re looking forward to seeing again soon when they get back?

We need to be a part of the greater world. If queerness is not a part of the background, it is not a part of the world. It’s just a token character. The kind of character Simon Pegg claims to be against. His actions suggest otherwise. Especially since Simon Pegg also states that while Sulu is out as gay in this movie that it isn’t important to the story. Straight allies often seem to go back and forth between saying how important it is to queer people like me that they created or retconned a gay character followed immediately by saying the character’s queerness isn’t all that important anyway. It’s insulting and honestly I’m really sick of hearing that.

If this was something important to the people involved in the reboot, they should have made characters LGBTQ from the start back in 2009. By waiting until the third installment, it becomes very difficult to believe this is for anything more than a press hit. Granted, Simon Pegg was not involved in the screenwriting for the previous installments. That said, it’s all the more reason to just create a new character to develop and grow. I find it offensive that Simon Pegg suggests that creating a new character that is gay would mean that the character is just there to be gay. He’s a screenwriter. He should know better. He should know you can create new characters and clever writing can avoid tokenism.

Everything stated by John Cho, Simon Pegg, and Zachary Quinto suggests to me that some people on the film thought that George Takei had gotten big enough on social media that they could lazily write up one scene in a movie showing Sulu with a same sex partner, and assumed that of course George Takei would love the idea because he’s gay and it would be great press. When they found out that the LGBTQ community is a little more complicated than that, rather than listen to George Takei they went ahead anyways in the hopes that he would come around or that Sulu being gay would be a good free press. George Takei did not come around to the idea.

I’m disappointed with Justin Lin, Simon Pegg, and Zachary Quinto. I’m a queer nerd who is a casual fan of the Star Trek franchise. I’m sick of being targeted for marketing that’s not so much for me, but for people outside of the queer community to feel better about themselves. I saw both of the previous Star Trek films in theaters, but after this debacle I’ll be saving my money. I’ll wait to see what Bryan Fuller’s new Star Trek television series premiering next January has to offer.

Box Office Democracy: The Secret Life of Pets

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how at this point in my life I’m through being cool.

I’m 32 years old, I’m engaged to the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I just closed on a house. I don’t need to do things anymore because I think they make me look cool. I’m going to use clip-on sunglasses, wear flip-flops despite my giant feet looking goofy in them, and I’ll wear shorts after dark if it’s a warm evening and I feel like it. If something I like happens to be cool then that’s a great coincidence, but otherwise I’m willing to wear wrestling shirts and play needlessly complicated board games.

By the same token I’m willing to say that I wholeheartedly enjoyed The Secret Life of Pets despite it being a bit shallow from a narrative perspective, and despite the fact that at this point in Minion-mania Illumination Entertainment might be the least cool movie studio on the planet.

The Secret Life of Pets is a pretty standard hero’s journey story, plucky everydog Max (Louis C.K.) has his idyllic life disrupted by newcomer Duke (Eric Stonestreet) and the two eventually get lost in New York and a ragtag group of other pets come together to save them. It’s not the most original story in the world, but it’s a perfectly strong framework to hang 90 minutes of reliable pet humor. Dogs are earnest and dumb, cats are aloof and egotistical, and birds are surprisingly clever. I suppose a megalomaniacal rabbit and an army of neglected pets bent on the subjugation of human life is a little new, but no one strained under the narrative weight here. What shines is the jokes and more importantly, the execution.

The casting for Secret Life of Pets is impeccable, and while I usually want to resist the trend of hiring mainstream actors to do voice work (is it even a trend at this point? It’s basically a cultural norm) I can’t deny that the performances here are top notch. C.K. and Stonestreet are good enough, the former is doing a generic enough good guy persona and the latter a performance that’s 98% bumbling goofball the supporting cast is where the real gems are. Jenny Slate is a revelation as the lovesick Pomeranian who live across the street from Mac and leads the effort to return him home. She’s spunky and funny but most importantly really genuine. Slate has been bubbling just below the audience consciousness line for a while, and I hope that she can finally start breaking through with efforts like this. Albert Brooks is a legend for good reason, but I never knew I always wanted him to play a hawk with an honesty problem. He steals every scene he’s in and, most importantly, sounds nothing like Marlin from when I saw him a couple weeks back. Kevin Hart has spent the last couple years slowly winning my heart and he deserves all of that love here. It’s his trademark big over-the-top character I’ll probably see four times this year but it consistently got the biggest laughs in the theater.

There’s a moment in the second act where I thought Secret Life of Pets was finally going to try for a big emotional moment, to step above what I expect from Illumination and join the Disney/Pixar/Dreamworks upper echelon in animated storytelling. They start talking about Duke’s original owner and the life they had together and when they return to find said owner, the current occupant of the house (a cat) tells Duke that his owner has passed away. They are clearly trying to pull at the heartstrings with this revelation but the moment gets no time to breathe, feels a little out of nowhere when it comes up, and is never even referenced again. I wanted a bigger moment, I wanted to know what Duke’s original owner called him, I wanted something bigger. If you’re going to go for it commit all the way and if you aren’t going to make a real effort maybe that time would be better served with a couple more good jokes.

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