Tagged: Peter Parker

MARC ALAN FISHMAN: X-Men – Built By The McMansion of Ideas

Wikipedia (truly the only place to learn stuff these days) defines McMansion as “a pejorative term for a large new house which is judged as pretentious, tasteless, or badly designed for its neighborhood.” When I read that term, one comic franchise comes to mind. Color me snarky this morning, kiddos, but I feel the need to rant about those kooky carnival clowns known as the X-Men. Let me go tape up my fists and put in my mouth guard. This one’s gonna get ooogly.

I’ve little doubt when Stan and Jack (I’ve no right to call them that, but screw it…) created the titular teens with wonky talents, it was done for a reason. More than DC, Marvel’s characters come pre-baked with personal turmoil. Peter Parker, the every-nerd… Bruce Banner, the mild-mannered man who can’t get mad… and who would not list Hank Pym, the small-then-big-then-small-then-big wife-beating man-of-science? The X-Men were no different. Here we had basically innocent kids being picked on and ostracized for being not normal. Make any parable of that you want. Black? Gay? Bi-sexual? Transgendered? Jewish? OK, probably not Jewish. More to the point though… in the beginning, the X-Men were a fantastic concept, anchored by amazing art. Of course they were a direct rip-off of the Doom Patrol, but let’s not get into that argument. Since their humble start in the funnies, the X-Men have since become a continuity-hampered, impossible to follow nightmare.

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ComicMix Six: Things That Must Happen Before I See ‘Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark’

This article may be apocryphal considering that the most expensive Broadway production is still in previews, and its start date has been held up by a litany of horrendous accidents, injuries, and plot elements that would make Scooby-Doo go “Aroo?”

As a die-hard comic book geek and as someone who loves a Costco-sized serving of schadenfreude, I have been following news about Julie Taymor’s musical fiasco, Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark. I’m sure I’m not the only one who upon reading report after report of injury or “WTF” reviews would come to the conclusion “How the HELL can this continue?

In the event that it does continue, here’s a list of things that must happen altogether for me to see Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark:

  1. Julie Taymor, Bono, & The Edge must issue a formal apology for the accidents, the ridiculous plot elements, uninspired songs, and a second act that makes about as much sense as Nick Nolte and Tom Waits on a bender.
  2. There must be a permanent restraining order forbidding Julie Taymor, Bono, and The Edge from ever working together again. The restraining order must further stipulate that Bono and The Edge must never work in musical theater.
  3. Get rid of the Greek Chorus of Geeks. It’s an interesting device, and a nod to fans, but it’s a bloated appendix: superfluous and in dire need of being excised immediately.
  4. Get rid of Arachne. It’s one of the first things to screw with comic book canon. Ms. Taymor may think it’s adding a new dimension to the story, but the inclusion of the Greek mythological figure is little more than an elaborate, long-winded non sequitur.
  5. Rewrite Uncle Ben’s death. In changing Ben Parker’s death, a huge part of Spider-Man’s impetus has been changed as well. Spider-Man is driven by guilt for not doing the right thing. In Julie Taymor’s version, the impetus is in less direct fashion that has no obvious bearing on Peter Parker and what he should have done. In ANY version of the established origin, Spider-Man is a better hero for having incorporated this guilt.
  6. Remove all the superfluous villains in the second act including Swiss Miss. The inclusion of so many villains lessens the importance of any one of these famous bad guys. Carnage, Electro, The Lizard, and Kraven are no minor figures to Spider-Man. Grouping them altogether makes it seem like Spider-Man is Moe against a group of Shemps. And how the hell do you have a character like Carnage without first explaining who Eddie Brock was? It’s almost like Julie Taymor never heard about one of the most fundamental rules of superhero movies: NEVER load up a project with a buttload of villains. Then again, maybe she thought she could pull it off.
Garfield as Spider-Man?

Garfield as Spider-Man?

The new Spider-Man has been cast… and yes, it’s Garfield.

Andrew Garfield.

Never heard of him? Us neither. But apparently he’s up and coming very fast, as can be imagined by a casting decision this high-profile for what will be Sony’s big tentpole movie of 2012.

And apparently, he’s willing to work cheap. Deadline Hollywood says that his pay scale on the film is around $500,000 salary on the first film,
$1 million for the second one, and $2 million for the third film. Considering Tobey Maguire was making at least ten times those numbers, that takes a huge weight off the cost of the film. If we assume other actors are similarly priced, this thing could actually come in under budget.

Press release follows…

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My Spider-Man ‘One More Day’ and ‘One Moment In Time’ Rant

My Spider-Man ‘One More Day’ and ‘One Moment In Time’ Rant

  • News
  • June 24, 2010

All right, I’m finally sick and tired of this.

With the previews beginning to leak out from Spider-Man’s “One Moment In Time” story, which they claim will be the magic bullet that retconned Spider-Man’s marriage, I can stay silent no longer.

Everybody says “Oh, they’ll never put Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson back together.” And every time somebody says so, I can’t help but think of Latka and Simka.

In the two part Taxi episode, “Scenskees From A Marriage”, Latka (Andy Kaufman) strays from his marriage to Simka (Carol Kane) and due to their cultural restrictions, they must break up. To explain where I see all of this heading, we now must show the climactic scene of the divorce (jump ahead to about 2:55, if you must):

Now, there’s another thing to consider. The comics industry, for all of its maturing and stabilization, still remembers the scare of censors and the like. Does Disney really want to deal with the backlash from the religious right when they finally notice that this leading hero cut a deal with the devil to destroy the sanctity of his marriage? Personally, I’m amazed that James Dobson, who’s always looking for a new thing to beat up Disney over, hasn’t already gone after this one.

But the lingering resentment is still there from fans, who look at that and say that it came out of left field, that it ruined the character of Peter Parker, because of the way this change was made.

Luckily, there is a solution to all of this.

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Spider-Man has his Webb: Director named for ‘Spider-Man 4’

Spider-Man has his Webb: Director named for ‘Spider-Man 4’

  • News
  • January 20, 2010

Here’s the press release from Sony:

CULVER CITY, Calif., January , 2010 – Marc Webb, the director of the Golden Globe nominated Best Picture (500) Days of Summer,
 will direct the next chapter in the Spider-Man franchise, set to hit
theaters summer 2012, it was jointly announced today by
Columbia Pictures and Marvel Studios.

Written
by James Vanderbilt, Webb will work closely with producers Avi Arad and
Laura Ziskin in developing the project, which will begin production
later this year.

Commenting on the announcement, Amy Pascal, co-chairman of Sony
Pictures Entertainment, and Matt Tolmach, president of Columbia
Pictures, said, “At its core, Spider-Man is a small, intimate human
story about an everyday teenager that takes place in an epic
super-human world. The key for us as we sought a new director was to
identify filmmakers who could give sharp focus to Peter Parker’s life.
We wanted someone who could capture the awe of being in Peter’s shoes
so the audience could experience his sense of discovery while giving
real heart to the emotion, anxiety, and recklessness of that age and
coupling all of that with the adrenaline of Spider-Man’s adventure. We
believe Marc Webb is the perfect choice to bring us on that journey.”

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Unintentionally Funny: ‘Spider-Man: Web of Shadows’ TGS Trailer

Unintentionally Funny: ‘Spider-Man: Web of Shadows’ TGS Trailer

  • News
  • October 11, 2008

The Tokyo Game Show that starts this weekend is one of the biggest videogame conventions in the world. The ComicMix staff is watching to see what comic game news is announced, but Activision’s Spider-Man: Web of Shadows trailer released at the show made me laugh. Though I don’t think that was the publisher’s intent.

A dejected Spider-Man walks across a rooftop, ignoring chaos around him, while sad music plays. As he approaches the edge, he breaks into a run to jump off. If I didn’t know better, I’d say hard luck Peter Parker got dumped by Mary Jane and finally decided to end it all. “No, Spidey! You have so much to live for!”

Watch the video for yourself and tell me I’m wrong.

 

 

E3 2008: New ‘Spider-Man: Web of Shadows’ Gameplay Footage

E3 2008: New ‘Spider-Man: Web of Shadows’ Gameplay Footage

  • News
  • July 17, 2008

Even Sam Raimi would be hard-pressed to choreograph a great fight between Spider-Man and the Vulture. I mean, c’mon. Adriane Toomes is an old man who dresses like a carrion-eating bird. He’s not one of Spidey’s A-list bad guys.

After watching Activision’s latest footage for the Spider-Man: Web of Shadows videogame, I believe a man can fly… and fight! The battle highlighted developer Shaba Games promise to bring Spider-Man’s mid-air battles to life.

Also note Peter Parker giving in to his dark side and letting the black costume take control. The balance between the classic and black costumes is supposed to be a major point of the game.

Video of the gameplay is posted after the jump.

 

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Review: ‘The Spectacular Spider-Man’ Animated Series

Review: ‘The Spectacular Spider-Man’ Animated Series

Seriously, folks — [[[The Spectacular Spider-Man]]] animated television series on the “Kids WB” network is one of the best superhero adaptations I’ve ever seen (and trust me, I’ve watched more than anyone will probably consider reasonable). It’s fun, it’s smart, it’s mature, it’s witty and every episode leaves me wanting more.

Supervising Producer and Story Editor Greg Weisman brings the same level of intelligence to the program that made his acclaimed Gargoyles cartoon series so succesful. Teamed up with him in developing the series for television is Producer and Supervising Director Victor Cook, whose resume includes working on the Hellboy animated film Blood and Iron, Darkwing Duck and producing the animated series based on the popular [[[Lilo and Stitch]]] animated feature film. Together, they have brought us a series that is updated for the modern-day audience but is completely faithful to the spirit and atmosphere of the first several years of [[[The Amazing Spider-Man]]] comics.

How does it compare to Sam Raimi’s interpretation of [[[Spider-Man]]] as someone who whines, mopes and cries a little more often than I’m comfortable with? Forget him. This animated incarnation of Peter Parker is a true New York teenager, cracking jokes on instinct — even when it’s not necessarily the wisest move.

For example, let’s talk about a brief scene from the first episode. The high-flying villain known as the Vulture grabs businessman Norman Osborn and tosses him to his death from a great height. Spider-Man shows up, catches Osborn in mid-air and remarks, “You guys play hot potato hardcore!” The Vulture screams that the skies belong to him, forcing Spider-Man to concede, “He may be right. I only rent.”

Now that’s the kind of dialogue and Bugs Bunny-like attitude I wish I’d seen out of Tobey Maguire.

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ComicMix Radio at NYCC: More Stan, a Little Disney and Eli Stone

ComicMix Radio at NYCC: More Stan, a Little Disney and Eli Stone

We kick off day two of the show direct from The Big Apple with a rundown of today’s big stuff including Stan Lee again, Peter Parker hanging out with Eli Stone and a sneak preview bonus for Lucasfilm fanatics! Plus, can you imagine the Top 10 Plants In Pop Culture?

Grab your con badge and press the button!

 

 

And remember, you can always subscribe to ComicMix Radio podcasts via iTunes - ComicMix or RSS!

 

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