Tagged: Michael Davis

The Moment Of Truth, by Michael Davis

The Moment Of Truth, by Michael Davis

  • News
  • March 14, 2008

Who in the world is stupid enough to go on shows like The Moment Of Truth and the Maury show?

I’ve always thought that stupid is what stupid does, but these people are just as dim as a black room. No, even dimmer. I can almost see why people go on The Moment Of Truth, they pay you cold hard cash and all you have to do is tell the truth. Of course the truth may destroy your family and spill the beans about your dirty laundry to MILLIONS of people, but, hey you will be able to buy a new car. You can ride your new car to the therapist’s office because you will need to seek help after realizing what a moron you are.

You idiot.

How obtuse are these people? Sorry, I just realized that there might be some people out there reading this who may have appeared on one of those shows. A word like “obtuse” may make their brains explode. OK, if you have appeared on one of these shows I am going to help you. First, sound it out. URB-TWOS.

Got it?

Now for the meaning; Obtuse; URB-TWOS: Your children are doomed to a life of crime, poverty or shame because you are an idiot.

Before I go on, I should tell you that I love BOTH those shows! They are like a bag of popcorn. Popcorn has absolutely no nutritional value but while you are eating it, boy does it taste good! You may be asking why I have not included Jerry Springer with these shows. I hate to break it to you, but that show is as fake as wrestling.

Yes fanboy, wrestling is fake.

Take a moment. I understand…

The Maury show has a repeating theme: the “paternity” show. On those shows men are confronted with women who claim they are the fathers of their newborn kids. The men deny it, so Maury does a DNA test and reveals the results on the show!

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ComicMix Columns for the Week Ending Mar. 9, 2008

ComicMix Columns for the Week Ending Mar. 9, 2008

  • News
  • March 9, 2008

Where does the time go?  Why does nobody complain about having an extra hour to sleep in the autumn?  And does anyone really feel the need to answer rhetorical questions?  Our weekly ComicMix columnists may not have the answers, but they still make for good reading on a truncated Sunday:

And don’t forget our special ComicMix TV broadcast covering the midnight release of the Dark Tower comic sequel!  Now can that wind stop howling please?  Some of us are trying to catch an afternoon kip.

I Want To Be Like Mike, by Michael Davis

I Want To Be Like Mike, by Michael Davis

  • News
  • March 7, 2008
 
What is cool? 
 
I’ve always thought that each person should gage what he or she thinks is cool. I hate those magazines and television shows that tell you what’s cool or what’s hot and proclaim what they think we mere mortals should follow. Not just follow, but follow blindly. How do we know the person entrusted with that list is not some stupid old fart who still thinks that The Beatles were Paul McCartney’s first back-up band?  This is the person who gets to decide what I will think is cool? For my money that’s the problem with the television and fashion industries. Take an original show like Sex in the City* –that show was bold and funny and deserved the label of cool. 
 
* I must admit I only watched that show when I was trying to impress a girl. I am straight, you know.
 
So what do TV executives do? They green light shows which are pretty much carbon copies of Sex in the City. One is called Lipstick Jungle. The names of the other shows, I can’t think of. Let’s call those other shows Middle Age Girls Gone Wild or Booty Call Diaries or I Can’t keep a man so I have to devote my time to my career because I’m just not that attractive anymore but that’s OK I have my work but I’m ugly. 
 
The hope is that these shows will garner ratings and become cool enough to spawn spin offs and licensing. 
 
Not likely on any of those counts.
 
This “we think this is cool” happens a lot in the fashion industry also. Some “experts” say what they think is cool to wear and hope we will act like sheep and follow along.
 
Bah. Bah, my tight firm ass. Yeah, I work out. It’s the PS3, 360 and Wii ass workout. 
 

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ComicMix Columns for the Week Ending Mar. 2, 2008

ComicMix Columns for the Week Ending Mar. 2, 2008

  • News
  • March 2, 2008

I love March, particularly the way the winds blow in such promise for the year to come.  Spring training, buds on the trees, the hope that we can avoid any more snowstorms, it’s all fraught with positivity.  Even our weekly ComicMix columnists seem to be more enthusiastic than usual (particularly Michael Davis with his Obama-at-SDCC teaser):

Spring forward, fall back into bed now…

The Silly Season, by Michael Davis

The Silly Season, by Michael Davis

  • News
  • February 29, 2008

Up to now I was on the fence about whom I was going to vote for in the Presidential election. All I knew for sure is that I was going to vote for whatever Democrat won the nomination. If Charles Barkley won the nomination I would have voted for him. So, yes, no matter what Democrat wins I’m casting my ballot his or her way. 

Even though I am running for President myself (I announced that a few columns ago) I am realistic enough to know that I may not win. I am going to take a stand like Ralph Nader. I’m in it to make a point like Nader. I’m in it to be a huge pain in the ass with no godly chance of winning… like Nader. If you ask me It’s just as much Nader’s fault we are in a war in Iraq as it is Bush’s. If he did not take votes away from Gore then we would be worried about a sex scandal right about now not fighting a war we have no business waging. 

I like Both Senator Clinton and Senator Obama and would have been happy to vote for either.

Until last week. Last week I decided whom not to vote for.

Before I give my endorsement (which will surely decide the nominee as I carry so much weight) let me share a bit about each candidate. There is a real chance that Barack Obama will come to Comic Con International this summer. His campaign contacted me last year about setting that up and it still may happen.

Why me? Let’s just say that’s how I roll. 

I like Obama but did not know if I was ready to vote for him. I was very impressed that his campaign thinks that Comic Con is a smart place to reach young people. That move earned him serious points in my book.

To be frank I was a huge fan of the Clintons and was leaning in Hillary’s direction, mainly because I loved Bill Clinton. I have met quite a few notable people in my life. From heads of state to rock, hip-hop and movie stars to world leaders. When I say meet I’m not talking about some random street meeting or autograph signing I’m talking about being in business with them or being invited to their home or inviting them to mine. Most of these well known people I meet are impressive but three impressed me to a point where I was speechless. 

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ComicMix Columns for the Week Ending Feb. 24, 2008

ComicMix Columns for the Week Ending Feb. 24, 2008

  • News
  • February 24, 2008

Ah, it’s Oscar time again!  I know I’ll be glued to my seat, whilst falling asleep in it at the same time!  Look for all the geeky movies to win the usual geeky (technical) awards, most of which won’t be given out on the air.  Better to get your geek on reading our ComicMix columns for this past week:

I know Ratatouille will probably win for Best Animated Feature, but I’m still rooting for Persepolis, so there.

I’m Mad As Hell, by Michael Davis

I’m Mad As Hell, by Michael Davis

  • News
  • February 22, 2008
 
I like to laugh. I see humor in most everything. Most people meet me and assume because of my wicked sense of humor I must have lived a charmed life. 
 
Nope. 
 
As I have mentioned before, two members of my immediate family were taken by violence and that does not leave you a lot to laugh about. My family was really poor and I survived more than one brush with death growing up where I did. Not the kind of life story that makes for a giggle fest.
 
The reason for my mostly cheerful outlook on life is my mom. If you think I’m funny (and you certainly won’t after this article), if you have read any of my other stuff and thought I was funny, then you should meet my mother. She is freakin hilarious. My mom had a lot more to deal with than me and she dealt with it with good humor and was confident that she would not just survive but flourish, and she did.
 
As stated above I like to laugh and do find humor in most every thing except violence and cruelty. 
 
I am not a behaviorist, anthropologist or psychiatrist. I do not claim to understand the effects of environment, religion, tribal history, poverty or anything else that that affects human behavior.  I know that there are reasons why people do things. I know that there are sometimes societal reasons why people hurt other people. 
 
You know what? I don’t care anymore.
 
I hear a lot of reasons on the nightly news explaining why some people commit horrible brutal deeds against other people.   

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My Follow Americans, by Michael Davis

My Follow Americans, by Michael Davis

  • News
  • February 15, 2008
 
Hey, did I miss something? I may have as I don’t visit the site every day but did we not just pass one year of ComicMix?!! Where is the fan fare? Where is the celebration? 
 
Where is the love?
 
I’m not sure if fans know just how much goes into maintaining and producing a site like this. This is a HUGE deal. For any business to survive a year is a massive achievement and for an entertainment company to do so is nothing short of monumental! So my hat is off to the rest of the ComicMix crew! I am very proud of my small part in the ComicMix story and look forward to many more years from what has become comics and related media’s best place for great stuff!
 
A while ago I wrote a column about what I would do if I ruled the world. I realize now that was unrealistic at best. Ruling the world has been the mad dream of history’s idiots and I am no one’s idiot. I thought about how foolish it was for me to attempt to rule the world. That was perhaps the second silliest thing I have ever done. The first was assuming that a certain entertainment company would make toys from a wildly successful animated show I had a hand in creating. What was I thinking? 
 
No more. Enough.
 
My days of unrealistic fantasy daydreaming are over. Well except for the Asian girl hot oil Michael Davis sandwich daydream. I’m holding on to that one.
 
But all other silly daydreams are gone. That said I still want to help my follow man and I intend to do so. So today I am announcing my candidacy for The Presidency Of The United States.
 
This, I can do!
 
I am neither Democrat nor Republican. I am a member of the Comic Book Party. We are a small but powerful party that believes in whatever I say, as I am the only member. I told you it was small.
 

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Pow! Zap! Dim! Thick! Asinine! by Michael Davis

Pow! Zap! Dim! Thick! Asinine! by Michael Davis

  • News
  • February 8, 2008

Have you noticed that whenever there is an article which feature comics, it almost always features a Pow, Zap, or some such idiotic way to describe comic books in the title? If not fight effects then it will begin with Holy, as in Holy Crack Whore! Comics find their way into Rehab!

As a comic book reader you no doubt want to scream your disapproval, but alas you cannot, as any action you take in defense of comic books would get you branded a geek at best or immature at worst. 
 
I am a grown man and love comic books and the industry that produces them, but I, like you am a wee bit…
 
PATRIOTS SUCK!
 
Sorry. Just had a subliminal moment and flashed back to the NY Giant’s impossible Super Bowl win. Forgive me, it won’t happen agai…
 
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR PERFECT SEASON, SUCKERS??
 
I am so sorry that keeps happening. However, in my defense I was so sick of hearing how my beloved Giants were just a gnat on the ass of the Patriots. I was also sick of hearing about the perfect season of the Patriots, so much so, I have developed subliminalitis. 
 
Sub*lim*in*al*itis: 
The abrupt screaming out of phrases such as The Patriots got their cocky asses kicked, during unrelated conversations or writings. See: Dynasty…not. 
 
To the fans in New England, hold your head up high! You won EVERY SINGLE GAME…almost!
 
You only lost one game.
 
Only one.
 
One loss.
 
The Super Bowl.
 
I’m sure that people will forget that you lost the Super Bowl but won 18 games.
 
Sure, they will!
 
Yep, So hold your head up high! 
 
That way you can see the sign that says LOSERS!! 
 
As I was saying, I am a grown man and love comic books and the industry that produces them, but I like you am a wee bit tired of the comic book industry being look at as “kid stuff.” Just the other day I was reading the February 4th issue of The National Law Journal…
 

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ComicMix Columns For The Week Ending Feb 3, 2008

ComicMix Columns For The Week Ending Feb 3, 2008

  • News
  • February 3, 2008

Snackies at hand?  Ready to cheer on the best ads in between the quarters?  Me, I’m psyched to see me some Tom Petty at halftime.  Before they take the field for Superbowl XLIIayeaye!!one!, why not warm up with this past week’s ComicMix columns?:

I love how the titles of those first three columns kind of go together… sex, hate, death (warmed over)… Anyway, Giants in, erm, four, just to be weird…

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