Mike Gold: Do NOT Look Up In The Sky!

Question 1: What’s the coolest part of the Wonder Woman myth?

That’s easy. It’s her invisible airplane. Hands down.

Question 2: What really cool looking merchandising item is coming to help celebrate (or milk) WW’s 75^th anniversary?

Ummm… It’s her invisible airplane. Among everything else you can imagine.

Question 3: What crucial element of her saga is not in the upcoming Wonder Woman movie?

Oy. Please don’t tell me it’s her invisible airplane.

Just as I’ve grown comfortable recommending the otherwise dreadful Batman v Superman movie solely for the Wonder Woman scenes, DC Entertainment President Diane Nelson somewhat apologetically told People Magazine “There is no invisible jet. Not in this iteration.”

Feh.

I wasn’t thrilled about the movie being set during World War I, even though it is being released in time to, ahh, celebrate the 100^th anniversary of The War To End All Wars. Yes, kids, that’s what WWI was called. And, in that context, WWI was a failure. But I digress.

Then an old-timey 15-watt incandescent light bulb when off over my head. “Wait!!!” I said to me. “An invisible biplane!!! How cool is that???”

Evidently, cool enough for me to use six exclamation points and three question marks.

But such will not come to pass. No invisible plane, bi- or otherwise.

The invisible airplane is as cool as it is completely gratuitous. No, we do not need it. Just as Superman doesn’t need his red trunks, either, but you wouldn’t eliminate that world renown icon, would you?

O.K. That’s a bad example. I’m completely right, but it’s still a bad example.

This isn’t the end of the world, and sure as hell I’m not calling for a boycott of the movie or anything like that. For one thing, Gal Gadot was so … wonderful … in BvS that she deserves our attention, even if Warner Bros. does not.

And who knows? President Nelson talked about iterations. Maybe the invisible plane – invisible jet? – will get polished up for the Justice League movie.

Ha! Just kidding. When it comes to Warner Bros. big-screen adaptation of the sundry DC heroes, we can always count on the Demons of Burbank to screw the pooch.

But, still, it would have been cool.