‘Spider-Man’ caught by Australians
Dateline: Sydney! It seems a fickle Frenchman, nicknamed “Spider-Man” was nabbed by Aussie Police after he scaled a 57-story building in Sydney, with his bare hands! Alain “So not Peter Parker” Robert is a noted building climber… having scaled over 70 buildings, (as only a spider can.) including the 41-story Royal Bank of Scotland building in Sydney, The Sears Willis (ugh) Tower in Chicago, and the Petronas Towers in Kuala Lampur.
It seems this Spider-Man has had plenty of run-ins with the law, having paid a whopping $676 dollar fine once before to the Aussie Feds for his previous scaling of the aforementioned Royal Bank, as well as numerous arrests for his previous climbs. “I’m sad he’s been arrested, but hopefully he’ll get out soon and we can have some champagne,” said his agent, Max Markson. We can only assume Robert and Markson’s next scaling may be away from the land-down-under. We suggest Chicago’s Trump Tower next. Why? Cause the Donald loves publicity stunts, and his half-filled building needs a little TLC from the media.
We stopped the editor of the Daily Bugle, one J. Jonah Jameson, who had this to say: “If we only knew the identity of our own city’s wall-crawler we could fine him too for all the buildings he’s scaled. I talked to our attorney, Matt Murdock, and he’s certain that if that French kid gets arresting for just climbing a building, our web-spinning, car-flipping, joke-spewing ‘Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man’ would get an instant ‘Go to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200’ card! And we’ll figure out WHO the web-crawler is too… All we need is one more day.”
Kudos to Yahoo! for this one.