I Got Nothing… by Michael Davis

by Michael Davis on May 9th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Posted In: News

My mind is a blank. I can’t think of anything to write about. I read a bunch of comics and I came back with zip. I watched the news and was left with nada. I’m in the middle of a few great projects but don’t want to write about them yet.

Wow…writer’s block. I have never been at a lost for something to say or better yet to rant about.

This sucks.

Come on Davis. THINK, THINK, THINK!!

Nothing. I got nothing.

I know, I’ll make a list. That always sparks my imagination. Let’s see now, I can’t do a best dressed list or most sexy list. I have to do something that’s classy. I have to do something that shows that I am above the petty stupid lists that Hollywood produces.

Got it!

10 people I would like to pimp slap.

1. Paris Hilton
2. Kim Kardashian
3. Lindsay Lohan
4. Jeremiah Wright
5. The Real World Creator
6. Amy Winehouse
7. Charles Manson
8. Rush Limbaugh
9. Dr. Laura
10. Naomi Campbell

Damn. Still nothing. I am really barren today. What else can I do to spark my imagination?

I got nothing.

I’ll try another list.

10 Things I do when no one is looking.

1. Pray
2. Watch Lifetime TV
3. Eat Quiche
4. Watch chick flicks
5. Blame the white man
6. Nap
7. Read poetry
8. Milk bath
9. Watch Fox News
10. Play with myself…video games, you sick puppy.
AGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!
I got nothing.
I’ll try another list.

Things or people that make me laugh.

1. Republicans
2. Bad movies
3. 70’s Porn
4. Stupid TV commercials
5. My mom
6. Denys Cowan
7. Kevin Eastman
8. Kat Williams
9. White people dancing
10. Black people skiing

HELP ME!! I’m so blocked today!

Maybe this list will help.

Lies I have told to girls when I was in college.

1. You don’t look fat in that dress.
2. This has never happened to me before.
3. Yeah, Laquita, I only date black women.
4. I’ll call you.
5. Will I respect you in the morning? Hell I don’t respect you now. I mean yeah, sure.
6. You’re not so ugly, I’m gay.
7. I lost your number.
8. Sure I remember you.
9. Oh sure, hiking will be much more fun than sex.
10. You like him not me? Well he just got out of prison.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10…12345678910! AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

This is my last list! If this doesn’t spark my imagination I’m done.

What I would do if I ran Marvel.

1. Kill Spider-Man
2. Kill The Fantastic Four
3. Kill Thor
4. Kill The Hulk
5. Bring back Spider-Man
6. Bring back The Fantastic Four
7. Bring back Thor
8. Bring back The Hulk
9. Buy more Marvel stock
10. Cash the check.

That’s it. I’m done. Nothing worked. I got nothing.

Sorry. I’ll try and do better next week. Hey, look at Tatiana’s art, at least that’s good.

ComicMix columnist and Hollywood mogul Michael Davis likes being upstaged by Tatiana.