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Surprise NBC Hit Taken Comes to Disc in Sept.

PROGRAM DESCRIPTION

The white-knuckle revenge thriller Taken: Season One arrives on Blu-ray™ (plus Digital HD) and DVD September 26 from Lionsgate. Clive Standen and Golden Globe® nominee Jennifer Beals (Best Actress, Motion Picture – Musical/Comedy, Flashdance, 1984) lead an all-star cast in this thrilling prequel TV series to the blockbuster film trilogy. With a loyal viewership, the show was one of the top 10 p.m. network dramas and one of NBC’s top primetime shows. The Taken: Season One Blu-ray and DVD will be available for the suggested retail price of $42.99 and $39.98, respectively.

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS

Executive Producer Luc Besson (Taken film franchise, The Fifth Element, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets) delivers an action-packed prequel to the international blockbuster Taken franchise. Clive Standen (Vikings) stars as Bryan Mills, a younger, hungrier version of the iconic character played by Liam Neeson in the Taken films.

BLU-RAY/DVD/DIGITAL HD SPECIAL FEATURES
“Taken: On Set” Featurette

CAST
Clive Standen – Vikings,” Everest, Hammer of the Gods
Jennifer Beals – FlashdanceThe L WordThe Book of Eli
Brooklyn Sudano – My Wife and Kids, With This Ring, Rain
Monique Gabriela Curnen – The Following,The Dark Knight, Contagion
Gaius Charles – Friday Night Lights, Grey’s AnatomySalt
Michael Irby – The UnitTrue DetectiveLaw Abiding Citizen
James Landry Hébert – Gangster Squad, Looper, Super 8
Jose Pablo Cantillo  – The Walking Dead, Sons of AnarchyChappie

PROGRAM INFORMATION

Year of Production: 2017
Title Copyright: © 2017 Particular Skills Productions US, LLC, Europacorp Television SASU, and Universal Television LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Type: TV-on-DVD
Rating: Not Rated
Genre: Action, Thriller
Closed Captioned: N/A
Subtitles: English SDH
Feature Run Time: 440 Minutes
Blu-ray Format: 1080p High Definition 16×9 Widescreen 1.78:1 Presentation
DVD Format: 16×9 Widescreen 1.78:1 Presentation
Blu-ray Audio: English 5.1 Dolby Digital Audio
DVD Audio: English 5.1 Dolby Digital Audio

John Ostrander: The Bourne Formula

Spoiler note: Various plot elements of the Bourne movies may be revealed below. The movies have been out for a while so I’m assuming those who want to see them have seen them. Nevertheless, the spoiler flag is flying just in case.

There are a number of movies that, when I come across them on the tube, I’ll stop and watch them. I tell myself that it will be just until a certain scene or bit of dialogue but the fact is I usually wind up watching them through to the final credits. When this happens late at night, I can wind up staying awake for far too long and suffer for it the next day.

The Bourne series of movies fall into this category. They include The Bourne Identity/Supremacy/Ultimatum and Jason Bourne but not The Bourne Legacy which, despite its name, has no Jason Bourne in it and appears to be ignored by the series filmmakers so I do, too.)

The reason I’m doing this retro review is to look at how something that starts fresh can drift into formula.

The films center on an assassin working for a clandestine special ops CIA agency. Born David Webb, he has become Jason Bourne – among other identities. Trained to be a living weapon, Bourne (wounded on one failed assignment) has become amnesiac. Over the course of the films, he starts to recover that memory.

The series starts with 2002s The Bourne Identity, loosely (some say too loosely) based on Robert Ludlum’s novel of the same name. It was a refreshing take on the spy/action genre, which previously had been defined by the James Bond films. The action was more realistic as were the characters and the situation. There was a car chase but it involved what I think was a Mini. The villain in the movie was not a huge over-the-top megalomaniac but the very agency that employed Bourne. The female lead was not a striking Bond girl but a Bohemian woman named Marie. The film ends with Bourne and Marie putting a new life together for themselves and the agency that hunted them has been closed down.

The film was a big success and re-defined the genre; the Bond films were re-cast in the Bourne mode – tougher, grittier, more realistic. They had needed to change and Bourne showed the way.

The Bourne Supremacy (2004) continued the trend. There’s a successor to the black ops agency in the first film but there’s a traitor inside who frames Bourne for a failed mission. In attempting to take him out, Bourne’s love Marie is killed. This is startling; Marie was a major character in the first film and her death has a major effect on Bourne, giving him a motivation that continues through the series. Still, the Big Bad is again the Agency or, at least, elements of it. We’re seeing a pattern developing.

The third film in the series, 2004’s The Bourne Supremacy, once again has Bourne and the Agency at odds. This time, the film winds up bringing Bourne back home to the U.S., specifically New York City. He learns the truth about his origin and there are touches throughout that bring us back to the first film suggesting this is the final installment in a trilogy.

And it was, for 12 years.

In 2012, the studio tried to capitalize on its franchise with the Bourne-less The Bourne Legacy. It also tried to make Bourne more of a superhero. That didn’t work all the way around.

Last year saw Jason Bourne (with returning star Matt Damon) hit the theaters. Once again, a woman who is close to Jason is killed and once again the central villain is the Agency (or someone at the Agency). And the formula is starting to become obvious.

Every film has a car chase, each becoming more spectacular than the last. The first one was relatively modest and interesting. After that, any time Jason takes the wheel insurance rates are going up and there will be considerable collateral damage. In all the cars being upended or hit, I just imagine people being hurt and dying. I’m no longer impressed.

There will be a big hand to hand fight between Jason and… somebody. Somebody trained enough to give Jason a good fight but the outcome is never in doubt, It will be very violent and no music plays during it.

In every film, Jason says some variation on “This ends here.” Except it never does. If the studio has its way, it never will. So why even say it?

The antagonist is always the Agency or someone at the Agency. Always. Jason might as well be fighting Spectre and Blofeld.

In two out of the four films, a woman close to Bourne is killed. The first time it was effective if startling and had real impact and consequences. It’s starting to look like a trope.

Don’t get me wrong; I’ve enjoyed each Bourne movie I’ve seen and I wouldn’t mind seeing another. But what started out as fresh and different is becoming old and formulaic. That’s hard to avoid when you’re working on a series. How do you keep from repeating yourself especially when part of the attraction for the fans is that repetition of fave motifs and lines?

It can be done. The next Bourne should avoid the Agency or maybe have Bourne work with the Agency, Different settings, different stakes. As it stands now, they’re not doing sequels; they’re doing remakes.

The Bourne Repetition.

Six 1000-piece GOT Puzzles for Winter Play

The hit HBO series Game of Thrones is brutal, but our Game of Thrones puzzles are beautiful—they’re Beautiful Death, to be precise. Best known for his original creations at BeautifulDeath.com, HBO’s official episode-by-episode guide to the most iconic deaths on Game of Thrones, Robert M. Ball’s breathtaking artwork seems to pop right off the table as you assemble these 1000-piece puzzles. Measuring 19 by 27-inches, they’re large enough to capture the intricate detail of these artworks.

Long May She Reign is the artwork for season 6, episode 10, “The Winds of Winter”, marking Cersei’s successful ploy to destroy the Great Sept of Baelor and claim the Iron Throne for herself. The haunting details of the skulls and red-to-green color transition invoke an otherworldly, awe-inspiring feeling.Violence is a Disease is Ball’s rendition of season 6, episode 7, “The Broken Man.” With vivid red accents trailing across the canvas and the fearsome blade on the axe, this riveting work pays tribute to the Hound and his re-emergence into the story after the death of the Septon that helped him heal and find a new purpose in life. The axe he lifts symbolizes that he rise again with a vengeance.

Dracarys! from season 3, episode 4 is a vibrant homage to the Mother of Dragons. It captures the essence of one of the most epic moments in the series, when Daenerys releases her dragons to help free the slaves of Astapor.We Never Stop Playing from season 5, episode 6 takes Jaqen H’ghar’s words and frames life among the Faceless Men of Braavos. The eerie confines of the House of Black and White take on new life in Ball’s art.Season 6, episode 5 features one of the most notable and tragic deaths in the series when fan-favorite character Hodor sacrifices his life to get Bran Stark to safety. Ball has taken great care to immortalize this moment in Hold the Door. The deep melancholy of the moment seems to infuse the art, making it evocative of the pain many fans experienced while watching events unfold.

Your Name Will Disappear is a gorgeous tribute to vengeance and lost innocence, marking the moment in Season 6, Episode 9 when Sansa Stark releases Ramsey Bolton’s hounds to finish him off after The Battle of the Bastards. The contrast of the red hair against the dark confines of Winterfell and black coats of the dogs is magnificent.

Our whole Beautiful Death line of puzzles is available now, so be sure to chase them down—you don’t want to miss out! Robert M. Ball’s artistry lies within each of these boxes, waiting for you to put it on full display. Long May She Reign and Violence is a Disease are available at fine game and toy stores everywhere, while the other four puzzles are exclusive to Barnes & Noble.

Marc Alan Fishman: The Light At the End of the Tunnel

For those of you who follow my li’l studio Unshaven Comics on Facebook, you’ll note a recent ramping up of delightful sharing. As pages get completed in The Samurnauts: Curse of the Dreadnuts #4, I’ve been too excited not to immediately share them with our fans. As such, I’m finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel on a book that has taken more than a year beyond what I’d intended to see it be ready for release.

We’re not there yet, but the end is truly nigh.

For those sticklers who like details: three of us presently are mashing on the necessary color work – with about 20 more pages that need final effects. Everything is lettered. The book file is built. Literally, 20 pages need some over-the-top TLC, and they will be pushed into their final form. To ensure we round third base and dive for home, I’m even taking this coming week off my normal day job to only work on the book. By the time you read my article next week, I should be sending the book off to the printer – and likely attempting to gain back a weeks’ worth of lost sleep.

Not that I’m counting our chickens before they are hatched. Within these last pages is the crux of the issue – if not the entire four book series. Fight scenes dissolve into bigger fight scenes and culminate in a space fight that will push me to my limit with meticulously placed texture maps and Photoshop glow effects. Every single page matters. Every panel needs polish. If this is to be the culmination of five years’ worth of nights, weekends, holidays, and everything in between, there will be no half-measures.

If I am to speculate that my work is successful, I will look forward to those final steps to see the book become a physical, sellable object. The book is pressed into a high-res PDF and is carefully transferred to our printer. A proof is produced, and we spot check every page to ensure the trim doesn’t cut into any major details or words. Then, issues will be printed, cut, bound, and boxed. We’ll pick up issue #4 along with a hefty helping of issues 1, 2, 3, and the not so secret origin and make the 12-hour drive to Dragon Con in Atlanta. And there lies the grail of emotion I truly seek at the end of this process.

For five years, we have minted a minor (very, very, very minor) fortune by uttering a pitch that takes less than 20 seconds to complete. I’d say, “you already know it by now,” but if you know me then you know I’m not missing my window to boldly brand:

The Samurnauts: Curse of the Dreadnuts is a team-action adventure about samurai-astronauts, led by an immortal Kung Fu monkey… saving humanity from zombie-cyborg space pirates!

And for the last five years, one burning question had remained deftly unanswered by our growing amassment of wonderful fans…

“Is this everything?”

Now, we can now look them dead in the eye, and place the entire series in their lovely mitts. A complete thought (plus a wonderful upsell if they want that origin tale) that took over a thousand hours to piece together across the birth of four kids, the marriage and subsequent moving of one Unshaven lad to Wisconsin and over 102 individual mortgage payments posted. Now for a single Andrew Jackson, the fruit of all of that labor is handed over with glee.

The light at the end of the tunnel represents more than just the culmination of a comic book. It’s the lighting of the torch that announces the next phase to Unshaven Comics. The only place to go from here is up. And now… it’s starting to feel like it’s actually true.

In this Corner of the World Opens Aug. 18

Based on the award-winning manga by Fumiyo Kouno, In This Corner of the World, bolstered by emotionally resonant storytelling and exquisite hand-drawn animation, is an empowering coming-of-age tale set against the backdrop of WWII and captures the resilience and triumph of the human spirit.

The award-winning story of In This Corner of the World follows a young lady named Suzu Urano, who in 1944 moves to the small town of Kure in Hiroshima to live with her husband’s family. Suzu’s life is thrown into chaos when her town is bombed during World War II. Her perseverance and courage underpin this heart-warming and inspirational tale of the everyday challenges faced by the Japanese in the midst of a violent, war-torn country. This beautiful yet poignant tale shows that even in the face of adversity and loss, people can come together and rebuild their lives.

In This Corner of the World in cinemas (NY, LA and SF) opens this weekend, and the film’s director Sunao Katabuchi briefly discusses various kinds of historical research since the movie shows a part of Hiroshima that was completely destroyed.

Much of the Kure and Hiroshima landscape of the 1940s was tragically lost to air raids and the atomic bomb. Not many survivors with first-hand experience of the war are still with us.  Director Sunao Katabuchi spent six years thoroughly researching the details before animation work began. He gathered accounts from people about those days and collected more than 4,000 photographs to recreate the cityscape of the 1930s and 40s.

On August 18, this movie is expanding to more screens in Los Angeles, SF Bay Area and is set to open in major cities in the U.S. and Canada.

Animated feature In This Corner of the World opens this August. The film is rated PG-13 and has a run time of 129 minutes.

IN THIS CORNER OF THE WORLD

Shout! Factory Films and Funimation Films
Director: Sunao Katabuchi
Voice Cast: Non, Yoshimasa Hosoya, Natsuki Inaba, Minori Omi, Daisuke Ono
Written by:  Sunao Katabuchi
Based on the award-winning manga by Fumiyo Kouno
Produced by: Taro Maki and Masao Maruyama
Genre: Animated Feature
*Japanese with English subtitles

Darwyn Cooke’s New Frontier gets Commemorative Edition in Oct.

BURBANK, CA, (August 11, 2017) – Warner Bros. Home Entertainment returns to the roots of DC’s greatest Super Heroes – and their unifying moment – with the celebratory release of Justice League: The New Frontier – Commemorative Edition on Blu-ray™ Combo Pack, Blu-ray™ Steelbook, and DVD on October 3, 2017.

For the new Commemorative Edition of the popular 2008 PG-13 animated film, Warner Bros. Home Entertainment has produced an all-new featurette spotlighting the late Darwyn Cooke. The comic book author and artist’s seminal work, DC: The New Frontier, received an Eisner, Harvey and Shuster Award, and that six-issue comic book limited series served as the key source material from which the film was adapted. Justice League: The New Frontier – Commemorative Edition also features box art from Cooke’s canon of dazzling New Frontier imagery.

Justice League: The New Frontier – Commemorative Edition is the epic tale of the founding of the Justice League. Produced by Warner Bros. Animation, DC Entertainment and Warner Bros. Home Entertainment, the animated film is directed by David Bullock from a script by Stan Berkowitz. Sander Schwartz and Bruce Timm are Executive Producers.  Michael Goguen is Supervising Producer

The action-packed adventure features iconic DC Super Heroes Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman alongside Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter and The Flash as they band together to form the legendary team. Strangers at first, these very different heroes must overcome fear and suspicion to forge an alliance against a monster so formidable, even the mighty Superman cannot stop it alone. If they fail, the entire planet will be “cleansed” of humanity.

Justice League: The New Frontier – Commemorative Edition features an impressive roll call of celebrity voice performances, including Golden Globe Award winner Kyle MacLachlan (Twin Peaks) as Superman, Jeremy Sisto (Law & Order) as Batman, Lucy Lawless (Xena: Warrior Princess) as Wonder Woman, Emmy and Tony Award winner Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother) as Barry Allen/The Flash, David Boreanaz (Bones) as Hal Jordan/Green Lantern, Brooke Shields (Suddenly Susan) as Carol Ferris, Emmy and Golden Globe Award winner Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer) as Lois Lane, Phil Morris (Seinfeld) as King Faraday, and the late Miguel Ferrer (NCIS: Los Angeles) as Martian Manhunter. The cast also boasts the voices of Joe Mantegna (Criminal Minds), Keith David (Platoon), Vicki Lewis (NewsRadio) and the late John Heard (Big).

Justice League: The New Frontier – Commemorative Edition includes incredible bonus features on both the Blu-ray Combo Pack and the DVD:

  • Featurette – “Retro Action Cool: The Story of Darwyn Cooke” – A revealing look into the life and times of one of comics’ most brilliant figures, the late Darwyn Cooke.
  • Featurette – “Super Heroes United! The Complete Justice League History” – A comprehensive look at nearly a half-century of Justice League chronology from the inception in the comics to vivid animated renditions in the late 2000s. The story is told with a myriad of interviews tracing the early days of DC Super Hero team ups during the Golden Age to the Silver Age rendition where the established heroes emerged and beyond. Interviews include such notables as Dan DiDio, Michael Uslan, Paul Levitz, Mark Waid, Denny O’Neil, Stan Lee and Marv Wolfman.
  • Featurette – “The Legion of Doom: The Pathology of the DC Super Villain” – This 10-minute piece examines the early mythological archetypes of nemesis characters from a historical perspective and reveals how the tenants of this rich history were adapted and woven into the Justice League stories.
  • Featurette – “Comic Book Commentary: Homage to the New Frontier” – This mini-documentary is a nod to the fans of the New Frontier comics, further expanding the themes contained in the source material and how these elements were truncated or evolved for inclusion in the film. It features vivid imagery culled from the pages of DC: The New Frontier, mixed with the commentary of Darwyn Cooke. This featurette is a treat for both fans and scholars of the medium.
  • Sneak Peak: Gotham by Gaslight – A behind-the-scenes look at the next DC Universe Original Movie, inspired by the 1989 Elseworlds tale of Batman – at the turn of the 20th century – as first created as a graphic novel by Brian Augustyn and Mike Mignola, with inks by P. Craig Russell.
  • Audio Commentary I/The Filmmakers – Featuring Justice League: The New Frontier filmmakers Bruce Timm, Michael Goguen, David Bullock, Stan Berkowitz, Andrea Romano and Gregory Noveck.
  • Audio Commentary II/Darwyn Cooke – Featuring award-winning writer/artist Darwyn Cooke

Justice League: The New Frontier – Commemorative Edition gives fans the opportunity to savor the unique genius of such a legendary comic talent as Darwyn Cooke in a thrilling, animated adaptation of a modern classic,” said Mary Ellen Thomas, Warner Bros. Home Entertainment Vice President, Family & Animation Marketing. “The addition of an all-new Darwyn Cooke mini-documentary adds to the special celebration of his work. And his story serves as a keen reminder of the history of these cherished DC Super Heroes, in perfect timing with the theatrical release of the Justice League film.”

Tweeks: SDCC 2017 Voltron Interview

This week, I talk to Lauren Montgomery and Joaquim Dos Santos, the producers of Voltron: Legendary Defender, as well as, Bex Taylor-Klaus and Tyler Labine, the voices of Pidge and Hunk, about the recently released Season 3 of the hit Netflix Original. And if you are a fan of voice acting, Bex & Tyler have some great things to say about that too!

Without spoilers, let me say that Season 3 was so amazing! The characters were really explored more in this season, in regards to what makes them tick and the motives behind what they do. We also had some light shined on the lives of the original Paladins and their relationships, notably King Alfor, Haggar, and Zarkon. The season was only 7 episodes (ughhhh) but it’s worth it because Season 4 releases in October!

Let me know how you feel about Season 3 in the comments!

– Maddy

Ego Talks, A Chat with Kurt Russell

Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 sees the return of the universe’s favorite band of intergalactic misfits. Set to the all-new sonic backdrop of Awesome Mixtape #2, the movie’s thrilling storyline follows the team’s adventures as they traverse the outer reaches of the cosmos. The Guardians – Chris Pratt as Peter Quill/Star-Lord, Zoe Saldana as Gamora, Dave Bautista as Drax, Vin Diesel as the voice of Groot and Bradley Cooper as Rocket – must fight to keep their newfound family together as they unravel the mystery of Peter Quill’s true parentage. Old foes become new allies and fan-favorite characters from the classic comics will come to our heroes’ aid as the Marvel Cinematic Universe continues to expand.

To celebrate the in-home release of the blockbuster sequel digitally on HD, 4K Ultra HD™ and Disney Movies Anywhere this weel, and physically on 4K Ultra HD™ Blu-ray™ Combo Pack, Blu-ray Combo Pack and DVD on August 22, we catch up with Kurt Russell – who plays Ego – to find out more on the making of the action-packed Marvel movie…

How did you become involved with Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2?

I was doing publicity for The Hateful Eight and suddenly people were asking me, “Are you going to do Guardians of the Galaxy 2?” At the same time, my phone was going off the hook about it. I knew of Guardians of the Galaxy but I hadn’t seen it and I hadn’t been approached about the sequel officially. What was different was this was the first time I was being told by everyone how great it would be. “It’s going to be fantastic,” they would say. “The role is Peter Quill’s father and Chris Pratt is the guy who plays Peter Quill. You’re perfect for it.”

But you hadn’t been approached to appear in the movie at that point?

No. I remember thinking, “Oh, this sounds really good and interesting.” But at that point, I needed to see the first movie. As soon as I saw Chris [Pratt] kicking those Orloni—those space rats at the start of the first movie—I started to really like him and I started to quickly understand the tone of the movie and what Chris was bringing to the role. And it somehow connected to movies I had done in the past—in particular, Jack Burton in “Big Trouble in Little China.”

 

Were there other motivations behind your attraction to the role of Ego?

As soon as I read the screenplay, I understood why they were coming to me. But I was concerned that it would ultimately be disappointing to the fans since Peter’s father turns out to be the bad guy. It was fun, and it was right—people loved the first movie and they were excited about me playing Peter Quill’s father—but they didn’t know that I was going to play a character so horrible that Peter has to kill me. I thought, “That’s kind of great, but I just hope that does not wreck the whole experience of ‘Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.’”

Did you voice your concerns to the director?

That’s exactly what I did. I talked to [director] James Gunn for a very short period of time. It was a quick, succinct and not very in-depth conversation—but I took a leap of faith. I said to him, “I want to do this. I want to play all the different aspects of this character, but we have to get the audience to a place where they want Peter to kill his father. That is the challenge.” It’s such a good twist. I think it’s great. It’s like a Greek tragedy.

How have audiences reacted to the twist?

The reaction was fantastic. You could literally hear the air collectively coming out of the audience when my character blithely talks about Peter’s mother and when he says the line, “It broke my heart to put that tumor in her head.” I’ve listened to a number of audiences now, and it’s incredible to hear their response. I remember rehearsing with Chris and James, and I literally turned around in character and said, “Now I know that sounds bad …,” and James, Chris and I cracked up and James said, “We have to do that!” And I thought to myself, these guys are bold and confident. It was a great feeling.

Is it a bittersweet feeling to be killed off in your first Marvel movie?

Here’s the thing … years ago, I avoided doing sequels. I won’t go into which movies they were, but they were some pretty big ones. I would be asked to sign three picture deals and I would always say, “No, I’m not going to do that because that’s not what I want to do. I don’t want to be locked in.” My agents were frustrated with me a few times because they were big movies—but I said, “I’m sorry, guys. I just don’t want to do that.” That created the opportunity for me to do many different characters in many different genres across the board, and I am satisfied I did it that way. But I looked at this movie, at this time, and I thought, “This character is awesome! Imagine what you could do with this guy?” Besides, the landscape is a lot different now than it was then.

When you look back at the making of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, what is the one moment on set that stands out the most for you?

I had a really great time working with James Gunn. I really did. He is terrific. And I had a great time working with everybody. But my times with Chris Pratt were especially fun because he’s not afraid to try anything at all. And neither am I. We had a ball together.

Which scenes did you enjoy working on the most?

The “Brandy” scene certainly stands out for me. The scene where I’m talking in time to the music, telling Peter how we are the sailors in the song and how that’s the greatest song ever written on the planet earth. It walks that perfect line of, “Are you serious? Are you kidding me? That’s so ridiculously fabulous.” And yet there will be those who will agree with that sentiment. “Yes! Finally, somebody has said ‘Brandy’ is the greatest song ever written.” In fact, I’ve already run into some of those people. It completely walks that line, and I just love that. I loved that day. We had a great time.

Do any other scenes stand out for you?

I also had a great time shooting the fight scene between Chris and myself. I’m very comfortable with that stuff and I’ve done a lot of it in my life—and it was fun to show him a trick or two. He’s such a sweetheart. Shooting those two scenes stand out in my mind—but I think the “Brandy” scene will always stay with me.

David Hasselhoff was a fun addition to the cast of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. What do you think of his cameo in the movie?

That was actually my suggestion to James Gunn. I said, “I think Ego should turn into David Hasselhoff when Peter shoots me and I get very angry … and when I say, ‘Who in the hell do you think you are? I tried to be everything you wanted me to be.’” I said, “At that point, I should turn into David Hasselhoff as that is the father that Peter Quill created in his mind and at that point—angry as I am—I am still kind of trying to win him over. You need to get David Hasselhoff here.” I’m glad it worked out and that David did it. It’s perfect.

The Law Is A Ass

Bob Ingersoll: The Law Is A Ass #417

HE’S NOT RUNNING A LOKI CAMPAIGN

It wasn’t funny the first time, okay?

The recent mini-series Vote Loki had the Asgardian god running for President. The series was a political satire with Loki running on the platform that he would lie to America’s face and they would love it. Here’s what followed.

Nisa Contreras, a reporter for the Daily Bugle, attempted to uncover information to discredit Loki. However, every time that she did – Loki’s followers were brainwashed cult members or Loki orchestrated political unrest in Latveria– her efforts backfired. Information which would have torpedoed any other candidate’s chances didn’t discrediting Loki, it made him more popular. The same joke was in issue 2 and repeated in issue 3.

Fortunately for Vote Loki, political satire doesn’t have to be funny. Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell is political satire and it’s about as funny as a Pauly Shore movie. Every Pauly Shore movie. Combined.

If you’ve been paying attention, you probably gathered that I didn’t find Vote Loki very funny; mostly because the joke Vote Loki kept repeating wasn’t funny the first time; the first time being when I actually lived said joke last year. But, I’m not here to offer my critique of humor. After all, my column isn’t called “The Laugh Is a Ass.” So you’re probably wondering where’s the law in all of this.

It’s here. In Vote Loki #1, J. Jonah Jameson asked Loki how he could run for President. After all, Article II, Section 1 of the United States Constitution says, “No person except a natural born citizen… shall be eligible to the office of President.” Loki explained that as a mythical figure he was a “manifestation of stories… I have lived and died hundreds of times, retelling some version of the story of what is Loki.” Loki further explained that the current version of his back story was that he was born to an American couple in Accident, Maryland and that Odin then “quickly took me from them to ‘put the baby in its rightful place in Asgard.’ ” So he was a natural-born citizen and eligible to run for President.

Even if we believe this preposterous claim that basically allows Loki to alter his back story to suit his needs – a talent as useful for comic-book editors infatuated with retcons as it is for politicians who have something to hide; which is just about all of them – Loki’s new back story doesn’t help him as much as he thinks.

First there’s the question of whether Loki is still an American Citizen? Remember, he’s served as the ruler of Asgard on a few occasions. Usually by usurping the throne while Odin was in the Odinsleep or some other convenient plot device, but Loki has ruled Asgard.

Article 8, Section 1481 of The United States Code spells out several ways in which a citizen of the United States can lose his citizenship. Subsection (a)(4) of the code says a citizen shall “lose his nationality by voluntarily… accepting, serving in, or performing the duties of any office, post, or employment under the government of a foreign state or a political subdivision thereof, after attaining the age of eighteen years if he has or acquires the nationality of such foreign state.” So Loki’s stints as ruler of Asgard may be enough, under the United States Code, to say Loki lost his citizenship. And if he’s not a citizen of the United States, he can’t run for President.

There is a complication to this argument, the case of Afroyim v. Rusk  which we’ve talked about before. In that case, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled the Constitution does not grant Congress the authority to strip a person of his citizenship through a legislative act. Congress has the right to confer citizenship not take it away. The only way a citizen can lose citizenship is if the citizen voluntarily renounces it.

Some might argue that by voluntarily accepting the rulership of a foreign realm, an act Loki knew would result in him being expatriated, he also implicitly renounced his American citizenship. Doing something you know will cost you your citizenship is the same as saying you don’t want it. Others, including the Afroyim case, seem to disagree. The issue isn’t completely settled.

If the United States Code’s dictates cannot strip citizenship unless the citizen both accepts the foreign post and says he or she is renouncing his or her citizenship, Loki’s still a citizen. Loki didn’t even know he was an American Citizen until recently so he wouldn’t have known that he had any citizenship to renounce. Loki could still run for President.

Except that he couldn’t.

Even if Loki is still a natural-born citizen of the United States, he is not eligible to run for President. Jonah Jameson’s question concentrated on the first half of the paragraph in Article II Section 1 of the Constitution which sets out the necessary qualifications to be President. J.J.J. didn’t read far enough. After the paragraph gets done talking about natural-born citizens, it adds, “neither shall any person be eligible to that office who shall not have attained the age of thirty five years [at several millennia, I think Loki’s more than meets that requirement] and been fourteen Years a resident within the United States.” [Emphasis added] (By the way, that Y in Years was capitalized in the original. What can I say, English usage was different back in the days when they made the letter S look like the letter F.)

We’ll skip over the attained the age part. Loki’s millennia old, he just lies about his age. He’s more than old enough to be President. But fourteen years a resident? Now we’ve got him!

Remember in Loki’s new continuity he may have been born in the USA but he didn’t stay long. Odin “quickly came” and took the baby Loki up to Asgard. Since then Loki’s spent time in Asgard, he’s been banished to Hades, he’s been imprisoned in an Asgardian tree. He has, in fact, been banished to lots of places, and imprisoned in lots of other places.

Loki has spent some time on Earth and in America, frequently fighting Thor. But there were other stays in America; like when he was a member of the Young Avengers. That trip to America only lasted 15 issues; less than a month and one-half real-world time and probably only a fraction of that time in Marvel Universe time.

So, yes, Loki has spent some time on Earth, but is it enough time? Is it fourteen years? The entire modern Marvel universe beginning with Fantastic Four #1– Marvel may be forbidden from publishing the book but we can still talk about it – has only been ten years. Maybe a few more. Let’s say it’s been as much as fourteen years. But Loki – whichever version of the myth has come out to play this month – has not spent most of that time on Earth, let alone in the United States. So he hasn’t lived in the United States for 14 years and isn’t eligible to be President.

I wish someone from Earth 616 had come to me and talked out their Loki problem. I could have told them that if they just read a little farther in the Constitution they could have found the clause dictating that Loki couldn’t run for President. I couldn’t do anything to prevent the circus that was last year’s presidential election process here on our Earth. But it’s nice to think that, had they but asked, I could have helped the Marvel Universe avoid their own version of the Cirque du Soiled.

Martha Thomases: Obesity and Honesty

Roxane Gay’s new book, Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body is a knock-out of a book. It kept me glued to my couch for a long weekend. I finished reading it about ten days ago, and I cannot stop thinking about it.

Does it have anything to do with comics? Well, Gay wrote a mini-series for Marvel. Beyond that, if you want to know more, you’ll have to keep reading.

In addition to being an accomplished author and journalist, Roxane Gay is, in her own words, a morbidly obese woman of color. Hunger is about what happened to her, how she got this way, and what it’s like to live the way she lives. It’s incredibly honest, so much so that I couldn’t look away, even as I squirmed in recognition.

I am not morbidly obese. Sure, I could drop twenty or thirty pounds to look more like the mannequins in the department stores, but I can pass. I am not a woman of color. As a Jew, my people have a history of persecution, but I can pass. Unlike Gay, I was not gang-raped when I was twelve years old. Because I have these privileges, I could sneer at her with my societally-approved advantages, but I can’t. I feel my own version of what she feels, and I went through my own version of what she went through.

Gay started to overeat because she wanted to make herself unattractive to men so she wouldn’t get attacked again. She knew that a woman who is overweight is considered to be ugly – and an ugly woman is invisible. By building a wall around herself, she would be safe.

Her descriptions of her experiences are harrowing. Strangers in the supermarket take away food from her shopping cart. People complain to airlines about having to sit next to her, even if she pays for two seats. Instead of taking her ideas seriously, critics comment on her looks. Everything about her life, good or bad, is dismissed by those who only see her size.

And then there are the people who think they are helping her. The people who tell her that maybe she doesn’t really want dessert. The people who suggest exercise. I can assure you that every woman in Western society who is larger than a Size 0 knows about diet and exercise.

Still, reading about her pain, the Jewish mother in me did want to lean in and offer Gay some advice. She talks about regularly starting (and giving up on) a diet-and-exercise plan, and my first suggestion is to uncouple those two things. Various eating systems have made me feel variously better and worse, but if I didn’t exercise, I would go mad. I don’t do work because I expect it to make me a fashion model or an Olympic athlete but because it keeps me sane. Working up a sweat on a regular basis burns up a lot of my hostility. My resting pulse is 48. I can’t claim I’m never angry or never hating, but it doesn’t burn me up inside.

Except I know that she is a different person than I am, and what works for me as a coping system might not work for her. I’ll try to shut up about that now.

Women obsess about our appearances because society consistently tells us that it is our most important duty. My mother used to beg me to lose weight, starting when I was twelve (5’ 3” and 113 pounds), telling me that “boys don’t like fat girls.” Even now, at 64 years of age, when I know that my life is about more than boys liking me, those thoughts won’t go away.

My mom (and Roxane’s) were only trying to teach their daughters how to get ahead. To succeed, we were told, a woman must be thin and fit and beautiful. That was difficult enough. Today, when society pays at least lip service to the idea of diversity, we are supposed to be not only thin and fit and beautiful but also, if we are not, to pretend that it doesn’t matter (even though it does).

It gets even more difficult at menopause. Not only can we no longer bear children, the only true purpose for the female life, and the reason we must be attractive to men, but biology conspires to make us more fat.

We can’t win.

I would like to be like Faith, the Valiant superhero who is large. She wears a skin-tight white costume that does nothing to conceal her size. She is strong and she can fly and she has an interesting life and, in her current incarnation, spends no time at all thinking about her looks or what she eats or how many calories she burns off.

Sure, she also catches bad guys and saves the world, but that’s not why she’s my hero.