Tagged: John Ostrander

I’m growing older, approaching cranky-old-manhood, and there are increasing number of small petty things that simply annoy me, dagnab it. Since I can write whatever I durn well please in this here column, I’m just going to indulge myself with a couple of rants on different topics and nothing unites them beyond the fact that I’m a cranky old fart. Yessir.

Grocery stores. The grocery stores I use have self-checkout lanes. These are new contraptions and, as such, on general principles I’m agin ‘em. However, in theory, they get me out of the store faster and that’s a boon so I use them most of the time. What I hate is that the damn things nag ya! They have this voice that keeps walking me through the process. I know how to use it. I don’t need it to keep telling me. It has the same disapproving female voice as Sister Mary Water Closet back in the third grade. I don’t need to hear that voice again, thank you very much!

It would be nice if you could refuse its help but you can’t! Screaming at it to “shut the fuck up!” only gets you stares from your fellow shoppers. Telling it that, “If I wanted to be nagged I’d dig up my mother!” is ineffective and sets small children to weeping, bringing store security. They and the IRS are not well equipped in the sense of humor department.

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In addition to my appearances here, I also have a chat site that can be found at World Famous Comics Community. Yes, you’re all invited to come over for a chat if you like. I check in usually several times a day if I’m not drowning in deadlines.

On occasion, we get someone who is abusive and they get told (more or less politely at first; it depends on my mood) to knock it off. Almost invariably, I get informed by the poster that this is a free country and they have the right to “free speech” which generally mans saying whatever they want in whatever manner they want to say it.

At that point, I usually explain that whether or not this really is a “free country” may be debatable but the Comics Community Board (like the Boards here) are for members and that, when you sign up, you agree to behave a certain way. Other sites may not demand that but we did there. Further, it was my discussion board – it has my name on it – and I had my own rules as well. If they didn’t like it, they could go elsewhere. Unlimited, absolute free speech was not guaranteed anywhere in any case.

A lot of people when they claim the right to free speech really don’t know what they’re talking about. So let’s be specific, just for fun.

To start off with, it’s not universal. Lots of places in the world don’t have it and the governments don’t want their people to have it. We have it because it’s in the Constitution; it’s enshrined in the First Amendment in the Bill of Rights which reads as follows: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”

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