Martha Thomases: To Infinity … And Beyond!
I don’t just mean infinity in terms of numbers, although I do mean that. I mean infinity in terms of space. When I think about space not ending but going on and on and on and on indefinitely, it makes my stomach hurt. This is why I can’t see Gravity, even though it’s supposed to be an excellent film.
Then there is temporal infinity. There is time before the dawn of time, and there will be time after the end of time. Millennia more. This makes me so queasy that I understand why humans invented religion.
But that wasn’t enough for infinity. There had to be more. Which, I guess, is kind of the definition of infinity.
Then, I read a New York Times review of a new book about infinity. I haven’t read the book yet (it’s on my Kindle, I swear), but it looks like the kind of thing that I will really want to read and then it will make me nauseated. According to the Times, the book posits that everything that could possibly happens either has happened or will happen, if not in our reality than in another.
This means that at every decision point in every day of every human’s life, one or more parallel dimensions came into existence. Not only for the big decisions, like whom to marry or which job to take, but also whether one chooses paper or plastic bags at the grocery store, crosses with the light or jaywalks, watches Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D or Brooklyn Nine Nine.
The concept of alternate and parallel dimensions is nothing new to comic book fans. We know there are Flashes on Earth-One and Earth-Two. We also know there is a Marvel Universe and an Ultimate Marvel Universe.
What we didn’t know is that, if I understand this book correctly (and I’m only going by the review), all of these dimensions do, in fact, exist. That’s how the concept of infinity works.
In any case, I have a few questions.
• Are these dimensions better than mine?
• If so, how do I get there?
• If I go and superpowers are a thing, do I get any? Do I get a choice as to the kind of powers I want?
• Will my credit score go with me? Can I choose a dimension without credit scores?
• What are housing prices like? Can I afford something with a pool?
• Is there some kind of “no-backsies” clause so I can’t change my mind? And, if so, can I choose one of the infinite number of alternate dimensions in which the “no-backsies” clause doesn’t apply?
In any case, I expect to be back here next week, in the potential dimension in which I survive another week. I hope you do, too.
But if you go someplace better, please send a postcard.