What happened to Clifford Meth’s column? Read it here

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29 Responses

  1. Delmo Walters Jr. says:

    I'm sorry Clifford had such a bad experience but I loved the ending! Looking forward to the follow-up.

  2. mike weber says:

    "Everyone's Zero", huh?Never saw it. Took one look at the beginning of the trailer and went to the restroom.But … 2,257 ratings on IMDB, it averages out to 5.7 out of 10. I've seen *good* movies that don't rate that high.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Mike Weber: It would not be beyond the people behind "Everyone's Zero" to manipulate IMDB ratings. – CM

  4. Michael Netzer says:

    What I have to say about Everyone's Hero, and how it relates to Clifford's excellent article, is too long for this comments thread. So, I've posted an article at my site and beg the indulgance of ComicMix in posting a link to it here. It has everything to do with this piece and its comments and was written especially in response to them.http://michaelnetzer.com/mnop/?p=1304

  5. Russ Rogers says:

    It's a good story.

  6. Mike Pascale says:

    Holy moley, what a tale. I certainly remember the mesmerizing, exhausting phone calls while it was all going on, but never found out the ending till now. Wow. Dick Saperstein is well named.Of course, if Dick "Sap" still chose not to pay you, you were only going to *phone* his parents and ask them to appeal to their little boy, right? (Unless there's an Italian part of you I don't know about…)Glad you gots your money. Sorry you had to deal with so many jerks and cowards.

  7. Brandon Barrows says:

    That's a great story. From all us little guys, thanks for sticking it to one of those Hollywood "big shots." I really enjoyed the read and I'm glad you got your money in the end.

  8. Anonymous says:

    It was clearly not Meth's intention to threaten to call and tell Saperstein's parents what a bad boy their son was. Then he would have said I have their phone number. He would also have made clear that that's all he was threatening so no one would think he was threatening violence.Instead he said he had their ADDRESS. That is like saying I am going to go over there. The reference to New Jersey is to add to that Sopranos style threat. Reread the piece and substitute him saying he knows where Saperstein's kids go to school if you want to understand what he is trying to say.I am not defending Saperstein though I would like to hear his side of the story. If he did not honor his bargain he is a bad man and should be sued or shamed. I do think Meth was foolish to do all that work that the contract did not call for especially since all that was to be paid was $5K. But threatening someone's parents is not an admirable way to get what is owed you. If Saperstein owes you the money you take it up with Saperstein not with innocent relatives.

    • Jim Davis says:

      This is a guy who once threatened to kill a woman who threw a won-ton at Harlan Ellison. (He also claimed his brother was going to pull a gun on her, too.) So this doesn't surprise me.

  9. Jim Davis says:

    You had every right to be upset. But threatening, even in an oblique way, the guy's parents? That's kind of nuts.

  10. Michael Netzer says:

    Jim, and the other guy. You're missing the point. It's about right and wrong. Good and bad. Saperstein was bluffing. Cliff answered in kind. Now it's a matter of conscience. Saperstein's was overloaded. He realized he was wrong and did a bad thing. Cliff did nothing wrong and has nothing on his conscience. Clean conscience wins. End of story. The money is the least important thing here.How many real stories like this do you hear about, where a clean conscience wins? That's what's so good about it. But one needs a clean conscience to understand it.

  11. Godfrey Ablewhite says:

    Meth's approach was creative, and definitely cheaper than having to sue the guy's ass to honor his contract. I don't think using relatives, in any way or context, is appropriate, unless those relatives are professionally involved in the dispute. Somewhere there's a middle ground where you can be effective without bringing in uninvolved parties.

  12. Mike Pascale says:

    Beautifully put, Michael. As usual, you are a voice of reason.As for the wonton incident, Jim, I just got off the phone with Cliff. Turns out it was, in fact, TWO wontons…one would be excusable, but two? I would have pulled a gun on her myself.

  13. Daniel Best says:

    Good thing it wasn't a cupcake.Oh, and Mr Anon, when you choose not to sign your name you lose a lot in the way of credibility.

  14. Steven Bergson says:

    Great story, Cliff.I have to admit that as I was reading, I was picturing a different ending. Something to do with a horse's head in the bed. Or at least horse-radish. (See http://www.schmoozeorlose.com click on "Comics" and then click on "Comic 10 7/14".

  15. Steven Bergson says:

    I think what is making some people uncomfortable with Meth's approach is that he was intentionally vague. Someone pointed out that Meth's saying that he's from New Jersey was meant to elicit an association with The Sopranos.Ummm … with all due respect to that fine show … Meth lived in New Jersey many many years before The Sopranos was even an idea in some writer's head. If Cliff grew up where I did, he would have used the line, "Welcome to Toronto" —- which would seem less intimidating than "Welcome to New Jersey" or "Welcome to the Bronx". I see it as just Cliff's way of saying "he's dealing with me ; well, this is how we handle things in MY neighborhood".Which begs the question, what could Cliff have been threatening / suggesting he would do if the money wasn't paid?I think most people have a violent / threat of violence scenario in their heads. That probably says more about their mindset than Cliff's.Here's another idea — and let's remember the phrase Cliff specifically used "his parents didn't raise him right". Suppose if instead of listing their home address, he listed their synagogue address. That would suggest to me that they're going to get a serious lecture from their local rabbi about what a shande (embarassment) their son is to himself and his community that he would treat someone this way. In some ways, that is far worse than if he had threatened actual violence.And the fact of either's Jewishness is irrelevant. If Saperstein were a Catholic, he could have threatened to tell his priest or the nun who he respected in Sunday school.While Saperstein may not care what most people think of him, he does seem to care what his parents think. Going to his parents about his wrongdoing might seem like a grade-school solution … but, what the heck, it did work!

  16. J.R. LeMar says:

    Dude, you are sofa king awesome. I wanna be you when I grow up.

  17. Richard says:

    Cliff, you are awesome

  18. Clifford Meth says:

    Want more happy endings? Read THE WHOREHOUSE MADRIGALS. Visit <a href="http://www.aardwolfpublishing.com” target=”_blank”>www.aardwolfpublishing.com

  19. Vinnie Bartilucci says:

    To be honest, I read this and it never crossed my mind that there was any threat of unsavory action here. If there were, he'd have been a fool to relate the story. I saw it as a simple "I'm gonna tell your mama on you" threat. Maybe I'm just naive.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Great story, Cliff! Bravo!

  21. Anonymous says:

    *Standing ovation* Bravo.

  22. Wayne Duplessis says:

    I'm laughing, and I'd be applauding, but it's early and my wife and son are still sleeping. You do what most of us only think of three weeks after the fact.

  23. David Levin says:

    Welcome to New Jersey – I LOVE IT!!