Webcomics You Should Be Reading: “Kawaii Not”!
I admit it… On the outside, I look like a big meanie. The motorcycle boots, the wallet chain, the free flowing beard… Yeah, it sure looks like I’m one tough cookie. But on the inside, I’m a pile of cutesy goo. Like a Lisa Frank Folder, coated with extra glitter and scratch and sniff stickers abound (and we’re talking ‘Strawberry Shortcake’ scratch and sniff here, not He-Man Masters of the Sniffing-verse). So, today, my inner me wants to share with all of you rabble-rousers a new webcomic to melt your heart. I mean… make you laugh.
Now, I’ll assume right now that some of you are waiting for the big 180 here, where I reveal a vile and disgusting comic devoid of anything but blood drenched fists soaked in farts, swimming in a pool of poorly worded racial comedy. Perhaps I’ve found some horrible webcomic starring a rotting zombie who tells Vaudvillian jokes whilst deficating on children stricken with disease… Alas, it isn’t true my BFF’s… today, I bring to you a comic so cute, so lovable, you could very well sqwee and die: Kawaii Not.
Since whenever she started it (let’s say 2007-2008’ish), Kawaii Not is the love child of cartoonist/illustrator Meghan Murphy. Taking the Japanese “Kawaii” (cute) concept to heart, with a dash of good old fashioned American sarcasm, and a pinch of “just evil enough to be funny”, Murphy makes a bi-weekly comic that follows a formula as simple as pie: A generous helping of saccharine sweet filling made of everyday objects betwixt a flaky crust of simple ha-ha’s. What does that mean exactly? You get a cutesy-wootsie character who says something mildly evil enough to make you blurt out a laugh. It made me laugh. Did I mention my motorcycle boots have the bad-ass metal plate on the toe guard?
Ms. Murphy’s site offers the complete archive of webcartoons alongside a heaping helping of free avatars. That she would be so generous as to share her wares with us so we can find the perfect avatar to represent out inner child (I personally can’t decide between the “I’m long, fleshy, and not a hot dog” and “I look like Poop; Ice Cream” avatars myself) this author applauds the site for not only being hilarious, but for being so generous with the humor.
And now we take a trip down the Rainbow Road of Infinite Cute-Wooty-Wittleness:
• When Waffles Don’t Tell the Truth
• Alas, poor Cucumber… I knew him well.
• Click me, you pervs.
• I risk getting kicked in the nads for this, but men, is this not the truth or what?!
• Tomorrow is looking cloudy with a chance of hilarity.
• Put this on a shirt, and I’ll buy 100 of them.
• If you didn’t click the one above, click this, you skeevy pervs.
Drama: On occasion the strip will deal with terminal illness, incest, and rape. Wait, that’s Law and Order: the Webcomic. Sorry folks… Kawaii not is just 4 panels of a love delivered twice a week.
Humor: Blend Lisa Frank, My Little Pony, a Gaggle of Giggling Japanese School Girls. Chill overnight. Pour into a tall pint glass and top with whipped cream, sprinkles (or Jimmie’s if you’re from out east), and 14 cherries. After ingesting, perform a dutch oven on your spouse. That is the humor of this strip.
Continuity: As a rogue scholar (as in, I mugged people outside taverns in college) I can conclude without a doubt that Kawaii Not is an epic journey of the subconscious through an alternative dimension where everyday objects celebrate their normalcy through 4 panel pictograms. In the end, it will save us all.
Art: See ‘Humor’ above, but perform the ‘Dutch Oven’ on a piece of pink construction paper. See that rainbow covered in glitter and sunshine? That is what the art is like. Great Japanese styled characterizations presented in a clean and happy site.
Archive: 246 strips, with 2 a week promised for the indefinite future. Enjoy!
Updates: Twice a week, per her FAQ.
Risk/Reward: Ok, here is the true debate. You risk your manhood (if you are a man) by visiting this site, and laughing out loud. Are the jokes deep? No. Are they going to make you smile? You damn straight they will. Peruse the archive (and if you’re so inclined like my fiance, squeal with joy every 20 seconds when you open the next one.) and give it a go.
Now, if you would all excuse me, I need to go watch the Care Bears movie, make some cupcakes, and have a good cry.