9 Superpowers You Might Actually Want
From The Best Article Every Day, 9 Superpowers You Might Actually Want:
Humor ESP. You’ve got a great joke involving St. Peter, a stripper, and a tricycle, but you’re not sure how it will go over with your friend’s new boyfriend, whom you’ve only met once but get the feeling doesn’t really like you. Your humor ESP will let you know whether the joke will end in laughs or a theological debate. This peculiar psychic ability also comes in handy when you want to come up with the exact line to scare off that guy at the bar who just won’t leave you alone.
I’ve got a few of my own:
Time Dilation & Compression: Make those slow movies fly by and meetings with the in-laws fly by, and stretch out that vacation time and get a few extra hours to finish art corrections.
Parking Spot Creation: The ability to magically have a parking spot appear wherever and whenever you need one.
Human Computer Antivirus: Nuff said.
What are yours? Leave them in comments.
My super powers (so far):*ordering Chinese food*making music compilations (a/k/a mixtapes)*keeping strolling musicians away at restaurants.
All extremely useful, especially the last.
Ordering Chinese food? What's so special about that?
With all the problems with Chinese goods today, you can't be too careful.
To me and my people, nothing, but most goyim lack that ability.
Teleportation. I've spent too much time in airports already.
You have that or want that, Martha?(If you already have it, what are you doing for lunch today? Up for some dim sum?)
The headline leads me to believe we are suggesting powers we would want, powers useful in the real world. But, if anyone does have the ability to teleport, please let me know how it's done.
The ability to look at a parked car with a Bush/Cheney sticker and reduce it to a pile of parts with no two parts still connected. Just parked cars, though. I wouldn't want to cause any traffic accidents. That would be like the real Rapture…when all the people who voted for Bush are instantly transported to Hell.
Yeah, and Dennis Hopper can take his damn teevee commercials with him!
The late great Leah Adezio had Parking Spot Creation as one of her superpowers. She used to brag about how the Parking Gods loved her; now I guess she's one of them.My "mutant power" is being able to find a sushi restaurant near wherever I happen to be (I mostly hang out in cities), but that's since been superceded by my GPS. Robin's "mutant power" is to influence others at a group gathering to ordering Guinness after he's ordered one.As far as which powers I'd WANT, definitely teleportation and floating. Anything to alleviate the pain of walking at this point…
I'd like to fly.Without having my baggage lost. That would be good.
I want the power to pimp slap stupid people.
Michael, I thought you had that one already?
Sincerity detection — Either people are getting better at lying to me or I'm getting more cynical.