Wed Aug 19, 2009 — by Glenn Hauman

'Theory of International Politics and Zombies' from ForeignPolicy.com

First, we had the worry about if the cops would tell us about a zombie outbreak.

Then it was the math paper prescribing what to do when zombies attack.

Now, we're getting foreign policy prescriptions about zombie nations written by professors at Tufts.

Daniel W. Drezner is a professor of international politics at the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy at Tufts University, and he ponders what would different systemic international relations theories predict regarding the effects of a zombie outbreak:

Now, some would dispute whether neoconservatism is a systemic argument, but let's posit that it's a coherent IR theory.  To its credit, the neoconservatives would recognize the zombie threat as an existential threat to the human way of life.  Humans are from Earth, whereas zombies are from Hades -- clearly, neoconservatives would argue, zombies hate us for our freedom not to eat other humans' brains.   

While the threat might be existential, accomodation or recognition are not options.  Instead, neocons would quickly gear up an aggressive response to ensure human hegemony.  However, the response would likely be to invade and occupy the central state in the zombie-affected area.  After creating a human outpost in that place, humans in neighboring zombie-affected countries would be inspired to rise up and overthrow their own zombie overlords.  Alas, while this could happen, a more likely outcone would be that, after the initial "Mission Accomplished" banner had been raised, a fresh wave of zombies would rise up, enmeshing the initial landing force -- which went in too light and was drawn down too quickly -- in a protracted, bloody stalemate. 

I'm waiting for the feminist theory of zombies any day n-- whoops, never mind, Annalee Newitz has been there, done that, and eaten the brains. Maybe we can do something with Sarah Palin...

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