Monthly Archive: November 2014

John Ostrander: Busted Icons

Bill Cosby Robin WilliamsYou’ve probably seen the news feeds – 77-year old comedian Bill Cosby is accused of being a serial rapist, of drugging women and then raping them. He neither confirms nor denies (however, his spokespeople deny); he simply looks sad and shakes his head. We are left to wonder and question but there are 20 women accusing him and where there’s that much smoke I’ve found there is usually a fire.

And, yes, I believe the accusations. Sadly, I think they are true.

You wonder why he would do it (assuming he did). He was Bill Cosby. He was famous; he was rich. He could probably get or buy as much sex as he wanted. Which underlines the fact that rape isn’t about sex, it’s about power. It’s an act of violence in which a penis is substituted for a club. It’s every bit as brutal.

Does it matter? Another celebrity caught in a sex scandal. The only thing less surprising is a politician caught in a sex scandal.

I think it does matter. When The Cosby Show debuted in 1984, it was a game changer and not just for television. It was a sitcom that showed an upper middle class family of African-Americans. I remember the Eighties (and the Seventies and the Sixties; I go back a ways). I lived in Chicago. Not every neighborhood was integrated. When I was growing up, I rarely saw a person of color. When you don’t know anyone of a certain color or ethnicity, it’s easy to make assumptions about them, to classify them as a group instead of individuals. Prejudice comes easy.

The Cosby Show changed that. They gave us people that we could know, that we could identify with. The Huxtables were relatable. Their problems and situations were like those in most families, black or white. We welcomed them into our homes, our living rooms. It changed things.

And Cosby himself was a wonderful father figure. Warm, funny, sometimes beset by his own family. The show was smart and it felt true. That was part of its success.

It wasn’t just the show. Cosby did stand-up, telling stories about his life and family. His Jello commercials were great because he knew how to react and talk with kids. Cosby was avuncular; he was good company.

How do we separate those images now from his image of a serial rapist?

I don’t think we can.

I believe in separating the artist from their work. Picasso was a son of a bitch but he was a great painter and the paintings exist in their own right. However, the image of Cosby as a comedian, as a TV star, cannot be separated from Cosby the person. His persona is based on his life. The work is not separate from the man.

Cosby isn’t the only one. Robin Williams’ suicide changes what we thought we knew about him. He was a zany, a madcap. He was brilliant; his mind moved like quicksilver. Didn’t like this joke? Never mind; here comes another.

He was also in pain that must have seemed inescapable to him. I don’t know if I can watch Mork and Mindy or his stand-up specials and not look to see the pain underlying the mask. He and Cosby were both icons and, in the end, both are broken. We didn’t know them as we thought we knew them.

Just like the rest of us.

 

Marc Alan Fishman: If I Could Be A Super-Hero…

… I’d probably opt to not.

It’s that rare question kids pose to one another in an effort to ensure they can field their own Justice League at a moment’s notice. Why else do many of us turn to comic book heroes as children if but to live vicariously through their adventures – and in turn relish in the delight of super-human abilities?

Prior to the race to space, pulp heroes were more often than not akin to modern-day Batmen minus all the swearing, gravel-voiced threats and plucky pre-pubescent sidekicks: human beings granted the time, energy, and personal wealth enough to be at peak physical and mental strength. Around the time we split the atom. science fiction boomed, and, Superman and the mighty demi-gods of the day were joined by sets of super-powered show-offs in sparkly suits. I’d like to think shortly after said boom, the schoolyard became a breeding ground for adolescent aspirations for astronomical abilities.

But then, we grow up. For some of us, we still cherish these previous flights of fancy. We chase windmills, and exorcise our personal demons (a great example by my compatriot, John Ostrander, wrote about last week). I’d like to think that every time I’ve put written word to page (as few as that’s been, all things considered), any character involved who happened to be beyond human has left me that opportunity to think of the world through eyes that can’t exist. And each time I’ve concluded the story, I’ve been thankful that I didn’t live in the world I’d created – even when it ended on the happiest of notes.

If I were to have a super power, I’m realistic about the end results. Super strength? Useful if I had to move furniture. Otherwise, it’s a burden. I imagine a life where I try not to decimate private property when my boss asks me to redesign the company holiday card for the third time, or to have to command the muscle control enough to ensure patting my son on the back doesn’t leave him a cripple. It exhausts me just thinking of it.

Perhaps telepathy? Certainly the lure to peer inside the minds of everyone I know would lead straight down a path of inconsolable anguish. For every fleeting thought about me I’d take as positive might then be trampled by a mental shudder when I lumber by. I need to lose a few pounds, and being forced to hear it idly from every passerby with a working brain would drive me up a mountain to never return again.

Super speed? Well, if it came with the metabolism, I’d sure love to be lithe. But if I didn’t immediately go public with a display of my powers in order to snag some celebrity endorsements? I’d run myself straight into the poorhouse trying to stay sated. Also? I hate running.

And flight? Well, I’m pretty sure Southwest Air would still be cheaper, and they give me a Diet Coke.

The reality of the world we live in – the one where innocent men can be murdered by those we pay to protect us, and walk away without punishment or remorse – is simply too real to handle the surreal. Ration and logic dictate that any person with a power comparable to those that exist in our funny books would be subject to no known amount of stress, guilt, and responsibility. Plus Heroes kinda showed us that most people would keep it a secret and end up serial killing time travelers who couldn’t hold our attention for more than 13 or 14 episodes. But I digress.

Uncle Ben’s wise-words for his young ward can’t hold any truer for our society. With great power comes great responsibility. Yet, those in this world with actual power, use it and abuse it without a second thought. Philanthropy walks hand-in-hand with lobbying, and self-interest. No good deed is done in our world without a litany of trolls ready to refute it.

Remember when we all dumped buckets of ice water on our heads in an attempt to raise some money and awareness for a terrible disease? Of course you do, because you live in California, and you saw folks wasting precious drops of water, and how dare they! The cynical response to every mitzvah (look it up, goyem) weakens our mutual calls for peace and prosperity. Every election is a slap in the face to the party that “loses.” Every man we’ve voted into office (even if he didn’t win the popular vote) is held to impossible standards and is eventually eviscerated by pundits and bloggers alike. No one can do right without immediately being told they are wrong.

And Rao help us… if a man stood above all others and used his powers for good – say curing the sick, feeding the hungry, and preaching that the world should spend more time loving, and less time killing – well, I get the feeling he’d end up on the cross for even attempting it.

 

Martha Thomases: Big Black Friday

Did you have a nice Thanksgiving? I hope I did. I’m writing this in advance, of course, because journamalism (sic).

Anyway, unless something very terrible happens between the time I write this and the time is is published, you are reading this on Black Friday. This is a relatively new “holiday” devoted to shopping.

I hate it.

To me, Thanksgiving is a holiday about being grateful for what we have, our families, our friends, our health (if we’re lucky). It should not, to my mind, be followed by a greedfest, one that manipulates us into feeling guilty if we don’t spend enough money.

I, myself, am susceptible to this manipulation. If I watch enough television, I find myself wanting diamonds from chain stores. Chain stores!

Still, I’d like to use my bully pulpit here to recommend something else to consider when planning your holiday gift-giving. Yourself.

Do you have a lot of little kids on your list? How about, instead of buying them plastic toys that will break or bore them within the week, you give them a coupon good for ten hours (or more or less) of story-time. I had great times with my kid going through the DC Archives together. That was me and my kid. You’ll find books in your own collection that are right for yours.

If your kids are a bit older, you can amend the coupon to hours of play, as super-heroes, or hours of working together to create your own comics. You’ll both get stories out of making stories.

It’s a little bit more difficult to find non-material comic-themed gifts for people who are not children. Here are a few I would like to receive:

  • An editing and organizing of my stuff. Some of it is really good and I’ll want to read it again, if I can find it. Some of it is really good, but I probably won’t want to read it again, and some library might accept it as a donation. And some is just junk I haven’t thrown out yet. If someone would do all this for me, I would consider it to be a great gift.
  • A drawing of a super-hero costume designed just for me. It would show that the person giving it understand that I simultaneously want to be a super-hero and yet don’t want anyone to see my actual body in spandex.
  • An afternoon or evening indulging my fantasies. Not sex fantasies, but comic book fantasies. Maybe this means a long conversation about what kind of super-powers we’d like to have, and what kinds of crime we would like to fight. It would be the gift of being eight years old again. Maybe it means going over back issues of Zap Comix and laughing too much about the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers. That would be the gift of being young and cool again.

Again, your specific friends and family will have different kinds of appropriate gifts. The specifics aren’t important. The gift of yourself is.

If you don’t have time to give, at least not in quantity, there are still lots of great comics and graphic novels from which to choose. Before the holidays come, I’m sure my colleagues on this site will have their own suggestions, as will I.

Just one more thing. If you are considering buying me chain store diamonds, this is the only chain that is acceptable.

 

Tweeks: Giving Thanks For Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1

Effie replaces Fulvia in MockingjayThe Tweeks are definitely Hunger Games fangirls, but how did the first half of the final book in the trilogy stand up in cinematic form?  This week the girls weight in on Francis Lawrence’s job of hobbiting (breaking a literary property into unneeded multiple movies) Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1.

Dennis O’Neil: Dirty Words, Done Dirt Cheap

Somewhere or other I read, or maybe heard in a lecture, that the area of your brain that activates when you use a naughty word is different that the part that activates when you aren’t being a pottymouth. Interesting, because it means that somewhere, some time, back in the murky eons those words that you never heard coming from a pulpit had some survival value. If they didn’t, evolution (Evolution?) wouldn’t have bequeathed to them their own little piece of cerebral real estate.

I wonder if they still own it.

Because there’s nothing special about such words, not any more. Once, in the Catholic days of my youth, I heard those words only on what we might deem special occasions, usually when someone was seriously pissed off. (“Pissed off” was, I think, considered more vulgar than sinful, but still. you wouldn’t say it at Thanksgiving dinner.) I heard them very little until I joined the Navy and then I probably heard them pretty often and after my discharge, not so much again, and now…

Holy cow! All the time! The movies. The television programs! The most common usage is what when we were genteel we might have called “the F word.” Often, on basic cable and broadcast shows, it’s bleeped and I wonder why, say, Jon Stewart uses it so often knowing that we won’t actually hear it but we’ll know what it is anyway. He doesn’t need it to get his points across, surely, and we already know that he’s sophisticated and worldly because, you know, he’s a television star. (I also consider him to be a national treasure, but that’s a whole other discussion.)

The F word was pretty shocking in some contexts, but it wasn’t the biggie. That distinction, the young me might have claimed, belongs to the GD word because that hair curler, is specifically forbidden by nothing less than the 10 Commandments themselves. Surely you haven’t forgotten “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain”?

The GD word is sprinkled throughout J,D, Salinger’s book The Catcher in the Rye which is taught in middle schools and so I guess it’s okay with most folks.

It, and the F word, have become everyday language and so I once more wonder if they set off cerebral alarms and if they don’t, have we lost something? We must have taboos for a reason. It’s not the words themselves we’re concerned with – they are, after all, just words – but the very existence of taboos. Get rid of them and maybe we’ll also be getting rid of something we don’t know that we need.

And wouldn’t that be fucked up!

 

Mike Gold: More Superhero Movies of the Ancients

Last week, I taunted you with visions of ancient superhero movies – serials, as they were called back then. Today we’d call them really low-budget webcasts. Here’s a few more worthy of your consideration, and this time we’re delving into a trio of iconic heroes from the pulps and newspaper strips – and now, of course, comic books.

The ShadowThe Shadow is the best-known of all the classic pulp heroes, and for a very good reason: many of the more than 300 stories published were quite good. Walter B. Gibson created something magical – a series with a lead character who had plenty of secrets but no secret identity, aided and abetted by a slew of agents who had no idea who their master was. The character’s popularity was enhanced massively by a highly successful radio series, one that gave The Shadow an alter-ego and a female companion and took away most of his agents.

Sadly, The Shadow didn’t fare as well on the silver screen. I don’t think the sundry producers could ever reconcile the differences between the pulp stories and the radio show, and they certainly were restricted in the deployment of violent action. But there is one major exception, the 15-chapter Columbia serial from 1940. Whereas they did a decent job of using three agents (including Margo Lane), the real beauty of this production was the man who played the lead, Victor Jory. A talented and accomplished actor (A Midsummer Night’s Dream, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, The Miracle Worker), Jory had the additional benefit of actually looking like The Shadow and his adopted form of Lamont Cranston, as portrayed in the pulps. Serials generally lacked verisimilitude; The Shadow had it in spades. And it’s a damn fine actioner, by serial standards.

spider_serial2If you found The Shadow pulps to be lacking in action, The Spider made up for it and then some. Every plot revolved around a madman’s quest to destroy humanity. New York City got trashed more often than a Thing vs. Hulk fightfest. The death count in your average Spider story was at least in triple digits. The books should have been published in red ink.

Obviously, they couldn’t duplicate that degree of violence in the movie serials. But they got the flavor and the spirit right, giving the Spider a real costume (he didn’t have one in the pulps), keeping his cast of associates intact, and using Warren Hull, who played the lead, in the various disguises typical to the pulp hero. There were two Spider serials: The Spider’s Web and The Spider Returns, and both are quite worthy.

Flash GordonI’ve left the best for last. The one series of serials I would recommend even to people who don’t like serials or kids who can’t handle black and white and cheesy special effects.

The Flash Gordon serials, Space Soldiers, Flash Gordon’s Trip To Mars, and Flash Gordon Conquers The Universe, are blessed with a cast that, by and large, looks as though they were designed by Flash Gordon creator Alex Raymond. All three follow the spirit and direction of the classic newspaper strip, and the first serial is as close to a literal transition from comics to film as I’ve ever seen. Whereas Buster Crabbe is impeccable as Flash and his relative inexperience as an actor inures to the benefit of this part, it is Charles Middleton as Ming who steals the show, as well as the popcorn off your lap.

In my jaded worldview, Middleton’s Ming is the best villain on film, period. He’s evil, he’s imperial, he’s a warrior, he’s a master scientist. He is everything Fu Manchu wanted to be. Middleton pulls it off with style and aplomb without overacting – which, in serials, is unique. The only actor who comes close was Roger Delgado as the original Master in Doctor Who. Even when Ming is being cooperative with our heroes, he doesn’t have a shred of sympathy to draw upon. Ming’s nobility works hand-in-glove with his position as Emperor of all he sees.

These serials are generally available from the usual sources – you might have to Google around for The Spider, but the Flash Gordon trio is easily available. Much of it all is on Hulu, YouTube, and sundry other streaming services.

These are the characters that provided the budding comic book medium with its backbone. It set the standard for all future heroic fantasy films. Check a few out.

 

Michael Davis: The Black Hollywood Shuffle, Part 2

Niggers, Get A Fucking Clue

Please read last week’s installment .

Last week I recounted what happened to me, at the hands of a black woman, while backstage at The Arsenio Hall Show some months ago. I’m not pointing out she was a black woman, that’s not important.

What’s important is she’s black.

Most, from what I could see of Arsenio’s staff is black. From my brief time there, I noticed most were pleasant and helpful. But the woman who threatened to call security on me was anything but.

She treated me as if I was a dark skinned nigger from the country and she was a light skinned lady from a well-to-do Negro family. There was a time when many light skinned blacks built communities and excluded any black person “darker than a paper bag” from living among them.

How fucked up is that, eh? Not as fucked up as those people with that mindset and their communities are still here today.

The following is from the book Our Kind Of People by Lawrence Otis Graham:

Debutante cotillions. Million-dollar homes. Summers in Martha’s Vineyard. Membership in the Links, Jack & Jill, Deltas, Boule, and AKAs. An obsession with the right schools, families, social clubs, and skin complexion. This is the world of the black upper class and the focus of the first book written about the black elite by a member of this hard-to-penetrate group.

This very real, very wealthy circle is very serious about keeping dark skinned, working class Negros away from their way of life. That way of life is filled with all sorts of perks, privileges, access and money. They have no intention of sharing any of it.

Some black people in Hollywood in power positions filled with perks, privileges, access and money also have no intention of sharing any of it with other black people.

That woman on Arsenio’s staff may not be that kind of person. But regardless if she is or not her actions towards me make her one of “those kind of people.” As such, to me, those actions were unforgiveable. She had no excuse for ignoring, both my back stage all access pass, issued by her show and the pleas of everyone involved telling her she was making a huge mistake.

Her actions are unforgivable because black people in a position of power should always remember how the fuck we got here and pay it forward.

I love America but black people are still considered by many here as second-class citizens. In the case of black boys and men we are measured by even a lesser standard. The lives of black men are worth far less.

Today, another white cop got away with killing an unarmed black boy. That explains my angry subtitle as well as why editor Mike Gold will be getting this in the wee hours of the morning, once the verdict was in I had to address it so this article had to be rewritten.

The staffer’s actions prevented an opportunity to enrich the lives of young black kids as well as disallowed the most influential forum in African-American pop culture, the Black Panel (TBP), from honoring Billy D. Williams, life and work.

In the almost 20-year history of TBP only once was such an honor bestowed. That distinction went to Bill Duke. Mr. Williams was chosen and as the premier black science fiction character of all fucking time should have been given his rightful props years ago. Props, BTW, he has never received.

I’m heartbroken that within the small world of black Hollywood there are “those kind of people.” How on Earth did some of these people achieve the kind of success where that’s even possible boggles my mind.

Don’t they realize all they are doing is helping those already out to destroy any and all black influence in media? Let’s say, by some miracle they succeed, are they so dense they think they are now part of the club? Are they so blinded with hatred for their own blackness they think themselves safe?

At any time, any unarmed black man could be leaving a studio lot and be shot dead like a dog in the street. The cop that shot him won’t give a fuck if the nigger was head of programming at HBO or a head cook in a food truck. All he will care about is how long after he’s acquitted should he wait to write his book.

I’m sorry. I hold accountable every black person in Hollywood who thinks only of themselves and not how to move of our talent into positions where they can tell more stories.

I mentioned how livid I was in the first installment and I’ve outed people for a lot less than what she who was not named because of Tiffany did.

Who’s Tiffany?

Tiffany Haddish is the reason I haven’t outed the woman who put me in this foul mood by name. Tiffany is Arsenio’s sidekick on the show, although ‘sidekick’ is most likely not the best description.

I met Tiffany in 2005 when I was writer/comedy producer for the Tom Joyner syndicated variety television show. She is a force of nature, one of the most talented people I’ve ever had the pleasure to work with and for the briefest of moments mentor. When I wrote a sketch, she was always, the actor I had in mind. It’s only a matter of time before she owns Hollywood, in my humble opinion.

When I left the taping without losing my mind, it was because Tiffany is everything that woman wasn’t. She’s caring and committed to not just her craft or herself but to others.

Back in 2005, I invited Tiffany to sit on the Black Panel the first time I saw her perform. She did not have the credits, but she was already a role model for young actresses of color. I left the Arsenio show without saying hello to my old friend, and that almost brought out my dark side.

It seems that the dark side is always out for many in Black Hollywood. Perhaps that’s the reason we stay in the dark.

Emily S. Whitten Celebrates TMNT Season Three!

The current Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles animated series continues to be a favorite of mine. It strikes the right balance between being a goofy, fun cartoon about a bunch of lovable characters and addressing more serious and dark themes about power and responsibility. It also does well at adding new ideas, characters, and material while including homages to previous incarnations of TMNT and staying true to the foundations of the overall series. The art is pretty cool and unique; and of course, the voice talent and creative team are stellar.

The series is now in Season 3 (and already renewed for a fourth season!) and has taken on a slightly different focus, with the Turtles leaving the familiar NYC cityscape for other territory. A short while ago I got to sit down at the Times Square Toys “R” Us (a super-cool store with a Ferris wheel and other nifty things inside) with executive producers Ciro Nieli and Brandon Auman, and voice talents Greg Cipes and (briefly!) Rob Paulsen, to chat about the current season (and get some great photos). Warning: we start out all, “let’s talk about things like the themes and stories of the season,” but in the middle somewhere we start nerding out about toys, and it kind of goes all over the place from there. But, you know, that’s one of the reasons I like talking to these guys. So – here we go!

Ciro and Brandon, tell us a bit about the third season. What will we be seeing? And any favorite episodes?

Brandon: We’ve got so many amazing stories coming up. If you’re a fan of the original Mirage series, if you’re a fan of the eighties cartoon series, then you’re going to see a lot of references in Season 3. It’s one of my favorite seasons.

Ciro: The problem with Turtles is that if you ask me what my favorite episode is, it’s literally the one I finished yesterday. I finished the third episode of Season 3 and it’s unbelievable. It’s very much an April-centric episode. We answer a lot of questions about her.

Brandon: We’ve brought back the Punk Frogs for this season. So we’ve got Napoleon Bonafrog, who’s played by John Heder, who is, obviously, Napoleon Dynamite. And we’ve got Genghis Frog, Attila Frog; and that’s a Mikey-centric episode, so it’s pretty exciting. It’s really funny. Really cool.

Does Bonafrog sound like Napoleon Dynamite?

Brandon: Oh yeah, that’s why we got Jon Heder.

Ciro: It’s kind of hard to make him not sound like that.

Brandon: We were like, “Who are we going to cast for Napoleon Bonafrog?” and said, “What about Napoleon Dynamite?” It just made perfect sense and we figured it would be funny, but it’s not reliant on the jokes of Napoleon Dynamite; it’s still a story that stands on its own.

Ciro: And we’ve also got the Dream Beavers this season. The best thing about the Dream Beavers is the voice cast.

Brandon: Robert Englund plays two of the beavers, and John Kassir, who was the Crypt Keeper, plays the other two beavers, but they sound very different.

Ciro: We love John and Robert. They’re such amazing talents. We’re such old horror fans – Brandon and I go way back to the Fangoria days. So Season 3 is the Season of Fango for a little bit.

Brandon: When you go to the woods, you’re kind of limited in your storytelling options. You can do comedy, but the easiest route is doing horror, because the woods are scary, the cabin is kind of freaky, and it’s just easier. It’s easier than doing a big action, New York-style story.

Ciro: One thing that I really loved about the Mirage comic is when you actually got to see the Turtles in nature, when you’ve never seen them in nature before, and you go, “Aw, man, they’re going to leave New York? That’s so weird.” And then you see them meditating on a rock, and there’s a waterfall, or stream, and you go, “Oh, right, they look perfect there.” So there’s a lot of them getting in touch with themselves too, and re-centering their ninja instincts and training.

So Greg, how did you enjoy that, as Mikey, who seems to be one of the more centered turtles anyway?

Ciro: Cipes and Mikey, their third eye is the most open.

Greg: I love seeing the episodes. I love all the green, and the fact that we’re in the forest, and the Turtles are green, because green is such a healing color. It’s rad to be in a different world rather than in the city. And to deal with new characters and monsters.

So how did you like the episode where you were with all the frogs? Was that a lot of fun? Why is it a Mikey-centric episode?

Brandon: Mikey bonds with Napoleon Bonafrog; because they’re very similar in nature.

Ciro: They’re both the best warriors, you know? And Napoleon’s just like, “Whoa, show me something else.”

Greg: We bro out.

Ciro: Yeah, that’s like our reptile amphibian bromance. It’s pretty cool. It’s super cute; I’m into it.

So we have a casting change on one of the main characters, Seth Green is coming in as Leo, as well as of course some other new character voices. How are you enjoying the new dynamic of the show?

Greg: It’s great. Seth Green is a dear friend of mine. It’s awesome. I feel like it’s an elevated experience. Jason Biggs was great; but now it’s a new season, new turtle, new energy. I think everything is heightened and exciting, with higher stakes.

Had you worked with Seth before?

Greg: Yeah, on Robot Chicken. It’s nice having him. And we have so many great guest stars that come in all the time.

Of the guest stars, have you had a great moment with somebody, or a particularly fun story?

Greg: I always love when Roseanne Barr comes in as Kraang Prime.

Brandon: Robert Englund is great.

Ciro: The weirdest day ever was: I’m sitting on the couch next to Paul Reubens, and we’re both watching Danny Trejo work, and Paul Reubens’ mind is blown by him. He’s going, “Where’d this guy come from? I love him.” And then ‘Machete’ comes out, and ‘Pee Wee’ goes, “Oh, I love you!” and then ‘Machete’ goes, “Yeeeaah, I love youuuu!” They were freaking out over each other, and I was standing there going, “What is going on? I’m at work?” Because it wasn’t Paul Reubens and Danny Trejo. When they started bro-ing out, it felt like they were their characters.

Brandon: There needs to be a Machete/Pee Wee Herman movie.

Ciro: Like if they did a bank job or broke out of jail or something.

Brandon: One of my favorite voice actors that we’ve had come in who’s recurring is Gilbert Gottfried as Kraang Sub-Prime. He’s pretty hilarious. And when he found out that Roseanne Barr was Kraang Prime – because when he was recording he didn’t realize that Roseanne Barr was his boss – he thought that was the funniest thing.

Ciro: We have a crazy cast.

We’re always seeing new mutated characters. Are we going to be getting some new ones? Is there a favorite?

Greg: And which ones are going to be made into toys? Is Napoleon going to be a toy?

Ciro: There’s a character in Season 3 Episode 1 called The Creep. Mikey named him. And I want a toy of that. What he came from is so unique. In a weird way he’s part Leonardo DNA. And Leo’s kind of struggling with his problems because he’s physically injured from the aftermath of the Season 2 finale. And overcoming that, embodied in this monstrous form, is kind of cool. It’s a great episode. The Creep is so awesome.

Speaking of the toys, what are your favorites coming out of the show?

Ciro: I can’t find some of them, man.

Brandon: Tiger Claw’s out now!

Ciro: My buddy just texted me and said he picked me up one, and I freaked out.

Brandon: We would like to say that Playmates should send us more toys.

I love that you guys are working on the show and have to go out and look for the toys.

Ciro: Yeah, Brandon and I created Tiger Claw from scratch, and I’m buying it at a Target.

Did the Squirrelanoids ever become toys? They should have a whole little swarm of them.

Brandon: Yeah, they did! That was another original creation from me and Ciro.

Ciro: That thing’s horrifying. Irineo [Maramba] designed the heck out of that thing.

Greg: Did you see the new Mikey, the huge one, here at Toys “R” Us?

Yeah, I loved that!

Ciro: I want it. Everyone has to buy it, because if it does well, they’re going to make the other three.

And then they can make a Splinter, but he’ll be even taller.

Ciro: Well actually, what you’d do is, you’d buy all four, you’d send in the proof of purchase, and then they’d send you a robe and a Splinter mask – and then you wear it, and the scale’s right.

That’d be awesome! So Greg, are you going to get a big Mikey and put him in your house?

Greg: Heck yeah, I’m taking the one right here from Toys “R” Us home with me! I’m going to buy him a seat on American Airlines and put him right next to me. It’s worth it – that’s the coolest toy I’ve ever seen.

Ciro: And then when you wash your clothes and they have to dry and stuff, you can just put them on Mikey. You can dress him in your outfits, or make him a coat rack.

And then he will truly be a melding of Greg Cipes and Mikey.

Greg: He’d be stealing all my girlfriends, though.

You think they’d go for the green?

Greg: Mikey’s so cute. I can’t compete.

It’s true; of all the turtles, he may be the cutest.

Greg: Thanks!

Remember when Splinter had the cheese wheel phone? I got a big kick out of that. I would love to have a working cheese wheel phone. Is there something that shows up in one of the episodes that you would like to actually own; like not as a toy, but a functioning thing?

Greg: I want an Ice Cream Kitty!

Ciro: Ice Cream Kitty came from my fascination with Cookie Puss. Because I grew up on the East Coast, and I would have Cookie Puss dreams, that I would eat Cookie Puss. And I was like, “How do we put Cookie Puss in the show?” And then I realized that Cookie Puss isn’t really cookie. I wanted to do a cookie cat, and that didn’t work, so it became Ice Cream cat.

So what would you like to have in real life, Ciro?

Ciro: We’re having an art show soon, so we’re going to make all the objects we can. Nickelodeon has its own little gallery place for the artists, right at the studio. So we might make up all of our DVDs, and all the SuperRoboMechaForce VHS tapes, and all that stuff.

Brandon: I actually own a version of the stand-up arcade game. Ciro basically took his graphics from the game within the show, and we blew them up and adhered them to this giant game. You can see it on my Instagram.

[Rob Paulsen enters the interview]

Rob: Hi, I’m Rob, and I’ll be your Donatello for the afternoon.

Ciro: One thing I’m working on right now – I have the blueprint for everything in the show, because either I design it or someone I instruct to design it designs it, so we have all the graphics and stuff; and I know where everything comes from, so we’re putting together a functioning, proper Casey Jones costume.

Nice! Are you going to wear it at a con?

Rob: You’d get a lot of dates, Ciro.

Ciro: No, I’ll put it on a mannequin at work. It would require not washing your jeans for eighteen days.

Nice! Rob, of all the crazy things we’ve seen in the current TMNT universe, what would you like to have as a real functioning thing?

Rob: I don’t know what it’s called, but there’s a motorcycle, a Turtle-cycle…

Brandon: The stealth bike?

Rob: I’d get that in a heartbeat.

I am not at all surprised by this. Brandon built the arcade game. I think your next project should be building the motorcycle.

Rob: Well have you seen the smaller bikes that Honda sells? Honda makes these little 125s, for sale primarily in Asia. And each turtle has their own bike. I really want to buy a Donatello bike.

And you should! Is there something any of you would like to share with the fans that I haven’t covered?

Ciro: Brandon has a wealth of knowledge. Oh, Greg, you should plug your Instagram.

Greg: Yeah, there’s always behind-the-scenes stuff on my Greg Cipes Instagram.

Ciro: I’m on Instagram too. I’m superrobot74.

Brandon: And I’m Brandon_Auman.

Ciro: What would you ask us?

Brandon: Like is there going to be a TMNT / Deadpool crossover?

Ohmygosh, is there? Because that would be the most amazing thing. Pizza, tacos? They’d bond, they’d get along.

Brandon: Unfortunately, there isn’t. Without giving anything away, this season is so diverse in terms of, not just location, but themes, and the arc is just so different from the other seasons. Not just that they’re going to the farmhouse, but eventually how the story unfolds over the season is pretty exciting, and harrowing, and it does get a little darker this season, but it still balances out.

Ciro: We get a lot of character stories. And Seth Green really helped coming on as Leo, because he almost aged everybody up a little. Like, taking the lead and doing that. Leo definitely went through a lot last season and is coming out of it no longer who he used to be. He’s taken that next step into his bigger role. It’s kind of the Leo that I’ve been wanting to happen. It’s finally come along. And Seth knew that. I know Seth through Cipes and have met him before a few times through animation, and when I sat down with Seth, right away it was just like, “Mirage is your ten, yeah, I know what you want.” He was ready to do it.

Greg: He knows everything about Turtles.

Ciro: He did his take, which is the proper take, and he knew what to do. And when you hear it…it was weird, because this thing happens with voice actors, where it takes a couple of episodes to get used to hearing them as a character, no matter what it is. Just attaching the voice to the character that’s a design, moving. It’s always odd. It usually takes a couple of episodes. But Seth, even though he came in and it’s a new casting, it was like the first word was odd, and then the next word you went, “Wow, that’s kind of amazing.” It instantly felt right.

Brandon: He’s also gotten better to the point where he kind of ad libs a little bit here and there, and that’s some of the strongest acting, is when he’s kind of just taking it. He ad libs a little and gets this very realistic take, which is really cool.

Ciro: He is Leo.

•     •     •     •     •

And on that note, sadly I had to end the madcap interview so these wonderful folks could get on to their next engagement. However, I did also get to attend the NYCC TMNT panel, so I can also share that what I saw there of this season looks great and includes some new characters shown in my photoset here, including Hun, Renet, and (squee!) Bebop and Rocksteady. So check those pics out!

And until next time, Servo Lectio!

 

Box Office Democracy: “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1”

I understand that we can’t put the genie back in the bottle on these two part movies. Harry Potter might have actually needed to make two movies for The Deathly Hallows but Twilight certainly didn’t and what Peter Jackson is doing to The Hobbit will hopefully go down as one of the greatest crimes in cinema. Now we have things like splitting an Avengers movie in to two parts, which is insane when you consider that it’s not an adapted work at all. It used to be important to tell a complete story when making a movie and now audiences don’t care and it’s certainly more profitable to do one big shoot and then get multiple admissions for it. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 does not have enough story for a two hour movie and the character arc is less about real change and more about restating what we’ve seen before. This weak skeleton holds back a movie franchise that continues on an upward trend in quality in direction, acting, casting, and pretty much every other aspect of filmmaking that isn’t shameless profit grabbing.

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