Mike Gold: 20 Ways To Procrastinate – Comic Book Pro’s Edition
Sure, you’re on a deadline. You’ve got more deadlines than you have socks. So what are you going to do about it? If you are a genuine comic book professional, or you hanker to be a genuine comic book professional, you’ve got to learn how to procrastinate like a genuine comic book professional.
Please note, these tips apply to freelancers of all stripes and not just to cartoonists, artists, writers and/or sloths.
1. You find yourself thinking you should wash the dishes.
2. You find yourself thinking you should take out the garbage.
3. Your abode is not going to paint itself.
4. You’re fiddling through your DVD and DVR library looking for “reference.”
5. You are convinced your editor won’t get around to your assignment for a while anyway.
6. Your cat ate your Internet connection.
7. Your quarterly estimated taxes were due a couple days ago. You really need to find an accountant. Ask around.
8. Damn, if you don’t read these 78 comic books in a pile on your nightstand, you won’t be up on continuity and you’re script/artwork/whatever will have to be completely revised anyway so instead of working, you really should be reading comic books.
9. You realize you haven’t backed-up your computer since Jack Kirby invented the Mother Box.
10. You find yourself wondering, “What would Barry Windsor-Smith do?”
11. Hey, that crossword puzzle isn’t going to solve itself.
12. Your crack dealer doesn’t deliver.
13. You’ll get to your work just as soon as your computer’s countdown clock hits “O seconds.” You won’t have long to wait, as right now it says it will be done in six minutes and six minutes isn’t very long, is it?
14. It’s new comics Wednesday. Or, at least, it was in the past six days.
15. You still haven’t done your homework.
16. You can always backdate your Fed-Ex waybill.
17. You really should take your dog for a walk. After all, you don’t want to be interrupted while you’re working.
18. After trying most or all of the above, you’re way too depressed to work.
19. You find yourself writing a piece about “20 ways to procrastinate.”
20. You’ll start working just as soon as you come up with the 20th item on your list.