Thank you. Thank you very much… by Michael Davis
Every Thanksgiving the media does reports on what makes people thankful. It’s always the same things. Husbands are thankful for their wives and kids. Wives are thankful for their husband and kids. Older people are thankful for good health. Kids are thankful for their Mom & Dad. Blah, blah, blah…
Give me a break. I mean come on; everybody loves his or her family. Well almost everybody. I forgot about the Menendez Brothers.
I love my family, as I’m sure you do but besides them, I wonder what people are really thankful for?
I think I may know…
Men are thankful for women and power tools. Women are thankful for shoes and power tools (…give it a moment). Skinny people are thankful for fat people. Fat people are thankful for meat. Black people are thankful for Lincoln and videotape, especially in Los Angeles. White people are thankful for golf and vacations. Super models are thankful for books on tape. Liberals are thankful for rent control and gun legislation. Conservatives are thankful for gated communities and guns.
ABC -TV is thankful for idiot viewers. How else do you explain the success of their show The Bachelor? MTV is thankful for stupid spoiled brat teenagers with short attention spans. The Gap is thankful for stupid spoiled brat teenagers with short attention spans. Cults are thankful for thankful for stupid spoiled brat teenagers with short attention spans. The NRA is thankful for crime.
Marvel is thankful for Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. DC is thankful for Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster. Dark Horse is thankful for Mike Richardson. Mike Richardson is thankful for me (or he will be when The Underground finally comes out) George Bush is thankful for anything that distracts from his Presidency. Hillary Clinton is thankful for Bill Clinton… during the campaign. Watch out if she does not win. Bill Clinton is thankful for Pay For View after dark. Elvis was thankful for black music.
The world is thankful for black music. Ringo Starr is thankful for Pete Best. Winos are thankful for cheap wine. Guys in clubs trying to pick up girls are thankful for cheap wine. Fathers of the bride are thankful for cheap wine. Slumlords are thankful for apathy. The French are thankful for not being in a war because they can’t fight. Movie studios are thankful for comic books. Network television is thankful for comic books. The Internet is thankful for comic books. Kids are thankful for comic books.
Homeless people are thankful for surviving another day. Our soldiers in Iraq are thankful for surviving another day. Runaway kids living on the street are thankful for surviving another day.
Me? What am I thankful for? Outside of the obvious, people who know I love them?
I’m thankful for Direct TV and TiVo. They’re so damn cool! I’m thankful for affirmative action without which I may not have attended an Ivy League school. I’m thankful for my lawyers. I’m thankful for Nissan for the Z car and Don Levine for G.I. Joe.
I’m thankful for DC and Marvel comics who help keep me safe inside while a world of pain existed outside my tenement door when I was a kid. I’m thankful for Little Archie who showed me that superheroes were not the only game in town. I’m thankful for the lunches I had with Carol Kalish who was so nice to me because that’s who she was.
I’m thankful for Mike Gold who gave me a shot at a life long dream (drawing comics, Mike, not the chance to just hang with you and Linda, although that’s mad cool too!) I’m thankful for my new friend Nargus and her very cool Family. I’m thankful for the memory of my friend Darlene who insisted I meet Denys Cowan. I’m thankful for Mike Richardson who has always told me the truth. I’m thankful for Paul Levitz who despite our differences has in a way been a real mentor. I’m thankful for Dwayne McDuffie for being one of the best writers in the business and my friend. I’m thankful for Derek Dingle and Christopher Priest who without Milestone would not have happened. I’m thankful for Victor El-Khouri who can take a joke. I’m thankful for my dogs that sit at my feet when I’m working.
I’m thankful for ComicMix for letting me vent when I’m pissed and try and be funny when I’m not. I’m thankful to that gay guy who tried to pick me up. Hey, nothing is hotter to chicks than when a gay guy tries to pick up a straight guy. Since I know Deny never reads my column (unless he’s in it) don’t tell him I told the guy my name was Denys and to come see me at next years Comic Con at the BET booth!
THAT will be funny! I will be very thankful for that!
Michael Davis is a comics creator and the founder of the Guardian Line series of comics as well as being a television producer and writer. He was a co-founder of Milestone Comics and his artwork has appeared in Wasteland, Green Arrow: Shado, Green Hornet and The Question, among others.
This weekend, Michael will be at the Mid-Ohio Con in Columbus, Ohio, along with ComicMixers Mike Raub, Kai Connolly, Matt Webb, Martha Thomases, Joanna Estep, Robert Tinnell, Adriane Nash, Mike Gold and a cast of thousands. We hope to see you there!