The Story Of O 2 (kinda), by Michael Davis

by Michael Davis on March 28th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Posted In: News

In my ever increasing attempt to break the mold, I am giving my fateful readers not one but one and a half columns today!

Last week’s The Story of O about a young man I mentored who attacked me with horrible career ending voice mail and text messages resulted in a wee bit of a stir. That article received a LOT of interest and some people have called me and asked me where ‘O’ and I stand now.

Well O still does not grasp the impact of what he did. His last text told me that he pitied me. Yep, I tried to help him and it did not work out so I’m the bad guy…pity. Well, I am done dealing with it. I realize that some people just don’t get it when you try and help them so I’m done.

Pity.

Hey, wait! My birthday is coming up! I think I’ll give myself a pity party on the grounds of my VAST estate I built on the back of former students I mentored who I have never taken a dime from.

Mike Gold was my comics’ mentor when I started doing work for DC. I lost a HUGE job because DC did not like the work I was doing. Mike was the person who helped me get that job. I remember vividly getting the call that I was off the project because of what I did.

I walked into Mike’s office and called him all sort of names. I also turned Mike’s desk over then took out a Mac 10 and set my sites on him and then the rest of DC editorial for the first comic book company blood bath in history. Mike ducked under his desk as I fired my first shots barely missing his head.

“DIE GOLD DIE! HOW DARE YOU HELP ME! I LOST THE JOB BECAUSE OF MY ACTIONS SO I BLAME YOU!!!!” I shouted while looking for Mike under his desk. Mike came up from behind the desk and threw his Captain America shield at me! I have always wondered what a DC editor was doing with a Marvel character’s gadget. The shield knocked the gun from my hand and Mike and I stood looking at each other. Then like crazed animals (which in fact we were. HELLO, we work in comics!) we started running at each other with murderous rage in our hearts each yelling our battle cry! Flame on! Mike bellowed. It’s clobbering time! I screamed back!  (Sorry DC, Marvel has the best battle cries. Up, up and away! is a bit lame)

OK, none of that ever happened.

I did lose a huge job that Mike helped me get. It was all my fault and I was devastated. What did I do? I went to my studio and did other samples over the next few weeks and presented them to DC and got the job back. DC had every right to fire me and I had no right to be mad at them or Mike. That makes NO sense what’s so ever. I wish O would learn that.

Pity.

Strange, No STUPID Bedfellows, by Michael Davis

Straight, No Chaser #59 1/2


Last’s week column was supposed to be about politics and the sheer stupidly of the former Governor of New York, but I decided to address the O issue and as luck would have it the Clinton and Obama camps have gone buck wild since then and given me all this great stuff to write about!

So for now I will forgo the opportunity to chime in on the current Governor or former Governor of New York. So they can keep their Ho-humping, wife-cheating, hemp smoking and cocaine sniffing antics to themselves.

Before I go on, I want to clear up the “Senator Obama is coming to Comic Con” rumors that have been flying all over the net.  Last year the Obama campaign talked to me about coming to the San Diego Comic Con. Why me?

Because that’s how I roll.

Anywho, I never said he was definitely coming. I said he MAY come and people lost their mind!

Someone even called SDCC to confirm if he was coming. How do you confirm a “maybe?”

Message to whoever called Comic Con. May does not mean will. If you are expecting a young lady to put out because she said she may go out with you, then you are doomed to a lonely life of porn, my friend.

It is my hope that the Senator comes to Comic Con and I would be overjoyed to walk him around the floor (because people would recognize me so he would get a bit of exposure as well) but that is not a done deal and I never said it was…duh.

Rumors, go figure.

Last week The Governor of New Mexico, Bill Richardson, a long time Clinton family friend and former member of Bill Clinton’s cabinet announced his support for Barack Obama.

Because of President Bush’s Patriot Act there is a recording of that conversation. Using my vast influence (and a state department employee who owed me 20 bucks) I managed to attain the transcript thus scooping CNN, ABC, NBC and Fox news!

Phone ringing: Ringggggg!
Phone ringing: Ringggggg
Hillary Clinton: Hello.
Bill Richardson: Hello Hillary, it’s Bill Richardson. I called to talk about my endorsement.
Hillary Clinton: Your…endorsement?
Bill Richardson: Yes, I’ve done a great deal of soul searching and I am endorsing Ob…
Hillary Clinton: Oh Bill this is so great! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH… MY… GOD!
Bill Richardson: Hillary you misunderstand, I’m endorsing…
Hillary Clinton: OH MY GOD. Wait!! Let me get Bubba on the line…BILL PICK UP THE EXTENSION!
Bill Richardson: Hillary, HILLARY!! Listen to me I …
Bill Clinton: Hello, what’s are you yelling about? I was watching the Playboy channel; there was this Asian chick that could…
Hillary Clinton: BILL, SHUT UP! Bill Richardson is going to endorse me!!!
Bill Richardson: HILLARY!!
Bill Clinton: That’s just GREAT!
Hillary Clinton: I know, I know! OH MY GOD!!!!
Bill Richardson: HILLARY!!
Bill Clinton: Wow! Someone get the press secretary on the phone! Let’s announce this!
Bill Richardson: Hey Bill, I met this cute girl the other day.
Bill Clinton: This will certainly gain us vot…what’s this about a girl?
Bill Richardson: You listening now?
Bill Clinton: OOOOOh yeah. So?
Hillary Clinton: Now we will roll RIGHT over that Motherf…
Bill Richardson: HILLARY!! I have a super delegate who will sell you his vote.
Hillary Clinton: …ucker! What? Really? How much??
Bill Richardson: So you both listening?
Bill & Hillary Clinton: YES!
Bill Richardson: After much soul searching I am endorsing Senator Obam…
Hillary Clinton: WHAT THE F…!
Bill Clinton: Hey!!! I can’t believe you!! NO GIRL??
Bill & Hillary Clinton: YOU BASTARD!!!!
Hillary Clinton: Listen, did I tell you that I took sniper fire when I visited Bosnia??
Bill Richardson: That’s not true, Hillary.
Hillary Clinton: You right. I’m sorry, I misspoke.
Bill Richardson: You should tell the truth.
Hillary Clinton: What really happed is…I KILLED Bin Laden with my bare hands. America is safe now!!!
Bill Richardson: That’s not true either Hillary. I’m sorry I have to go with what I feel and I feel that Senator Obama will unite the county and..
Hillary Clinton: How does Vice President sound to you?
Bill Richardson: Hillary, I’m sorry that you are upset.
Hillary Clinton: Do you find me attractive, Bill?
Bill Clinton: Well, you are no spring chicken but with a little make up…
Hillary Clinton: I WAS NOT TALKING TO YOU!!!
Bill Richardson: I’m hanging up now.
Hillary Clinton: Wait!! There’s a Motel 6 on Route 7.
Bill Clinton: No Hillary that’s Route 12. I was just there.
<CLICK>
And so it goes.

I have a real fear that the Democrats will destroy each other and McCain will walk (with the help of a cane and medication) right into the White House. This week a bunch of powerful rich democrats sent an ugly letter to the Speaker of the House which in effect said “No more money if you don’t let Hillary win.”

I have nothing against McCain. In fact I like him. I just think that he will continue Bush’s policies.

Damn.

This election which should go down as historic because there is a black man and a woman running will be remembered not by that but rather by hate speeches from Obama’s pastor and outright lies from Clinton.

Oh wait, she misspoke.

Listen lady, you said the same thing over and over again. How is that misspeaking? Now she’s suggesting that the Super Delegates forget who won more states won more votes and has more delegates which by the way is called The Will Of The People!

I am a life long Democrat but if the Super Delegates overturn the will of the people I will quit the party and become an independent.

I was a very strong supporter of Hillary and was leaning toward her when her campaign started treating the American people like idiots. It saddens me to see a woman I have met and admired would do the sort of things that she is doing to win this election.

Hillary if by some chance you read this just stick to the issues, I thought you were about a new direction, a new hope, a new beginning for America.

Or did you just misspeak?

Hollywood mogul Michael Davis is happy-pissed.