Tagged: black Friday

Martha Thomases: Shop ‘Till You Drop?

Black Friday is not my thing. It involves a bunch of stuff I don’t like: Getting out of bed when it’s dark out… crowds… pants.

But a lot of people enjoy it, despite my skepticisms, and there are even reasons that explain the brain chemistry of this pleasure. Far be it from me to deny anyone a dose of dopamine.

Or a present.

If you read the link, you’ll learn that a lot of the fun of Black Friday involves successfully scoring a good deal in a like-minded crowd. I suppose it’s part of our hunter/gatherer DNA. However, nowhere in the study does it say that Black Friday, or even a real bargain, guarantees that the shopper finds the right present for a loved one.

Now, some of my favorite presents have been glaringly bad. My husband once bought me an enormous yellow dress that hit me in the middle of my calf (and nowhere else) so that I looked like a yellow bag of take-out food, and he was so proud of himself for getting something that was (then) stylish that I wore it a bunch.

Still, very few of us set out to select an inappropriate gift. We want our friends and families to love our selections, to love us for knowing them so well,

Hence, books.

No one is insulted to get a book. No one curses in the middle of the night when they step on a kids’ book on the way to the bathroom. A book says you, the giver, think of the recipient as someone who is smart and curious.

In this day and age, we need books more than ever. Our society is more polarized than any other time I can recall, and we all have a tendency to listen only to ourselves and not consider other points of view. A good book, fiction or non-fiction, puts the reader into someone else’s head.

Look how little we know about history. I can sneer at people who don’t know the real story because I read a graphic novel written to educate children.

It’s possible that by the time the gift-giving holidays are upon us, we will have stopped talking about sexual abuse and harassment in the workplace. But until then, there is this. A friend of mine posted this on Facebook, and I wanted to share it: “If you consistently maintain that women are a sort of shiny, bewildering object that is handed out to you when you amass sufficient money or power, one that may eventually be useful as a container for potential humans but otherwise does nothing but emit an irritating buzzing noise whenever its mouth falls open, you don’t have to worry that you will ever face consequences for mistreating one.”

That line is from Alexandra Petri, who was a new voice to me. And she’s hilarious.

If you have someone in your life who has a problem understanding that women are human, there are some very entertaining books that might change their minds while they laugh. I happen to like this one a lot. And if you or your friends have limited contact with people from other parts of the world (geographically or sociologically), there are books for that, too.

Have a great weekend, whether you go shopping or not. If you do, think about books as gifts. You can still buy chocolate, sweaters and television sets, but if you get Legos, remember to include slippers, too.

Martha Thomases: Big Black Friday

Did you have a nice Thanksgiving? I hope I did. I’m writing this in advance, of course, because journamalism (sic).

Anyway, unless something very terrible happens between the time I write this and the time is is published, you are reading this on Black Friday. This is a relatively new “holiday” devoted to shopping.

I hate it.

To me, Thanksgiving is a holiday about being grateful for what we have, our families, our friends, our health (if we’re lucky). It should not, to my mind, be followed by a greedfest, one that manipulates us into feeling guilty if we don’t spend enough money.

I, myself, am susceptible to this manipulation. If I watch enough television, I find myself wanting diamonds from chain stores. Chain stores!

Still, I’d like to use my bully pulpit here to recommend something else to consider when planning your holiday gift-giving. Yourself.

Do you have a lot of little kids on your list? How about, instead of buying them plastic toys that will break or bore them within the week, you give them a coupon good for ten hours (or more or less) of story-time. I had great times with my kid going through the DC Archives together. That was me and my kid. You’ll find books in your own collection that are right for yours.

If your kids are a bit older, you can amend the coupon to hours of play, as super-heroes, or hours of working together to create your own comics. You’ll both get stories out of making stories.

It’s a little bit more difficult to find non-material comic-themed gifts for people who are not children. Here are a few I would like to receive:

  • An editing and organizing of my stuff. Some of it is really good and I’ll want to read it again, if I can find it. Some of it is really good, but I probably won’t want to read it again, and some library might accept it as a donation. And some is just junk I haven’t thrown out yet. If someone would do all this for me, I would consider it to be a great gift.
  • A drawing of a super-hero costume designed just for me. It would show that the person giving it understand that I simultaneously want to be a super-hero and yet don’t want anyone to see my actual body in spandex.
  • An afternoon or evening indulging my fantasies. Not sex fantasies, but comic book fantasies. Maybe this means a long conversation about what kind of super-powers we’d like to have, and what kinds of crime we would like to fight. It would be the gift of being eight years old again. Maybe it means going over back issues of Zap Comix and laughing too much about the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers. That would be the gift of being young and cool again.

Again, your specific friends and family will have different kinds of appropriate gifts. The specifics aren’t important. The gift of yourself is.

If you don’t have time to give, at least not in quantity, there are still lots of great comics and graphic novels from which to choose. Before the holidays come, I’m sure my colleagues on this site will have their own suggestions, as will I.

Just one more thing. If you are considering buying me chain store diamonds, this is the only chain that is acceptable.