DC Unveils White Lantern Batman
So, this afternoon, we decided to check in at DC’s blog, the Source, and what would we find? Why a few Brightest Day solicits for November. Given how much we love spoilers, we couldn’t click fast enough. And what were we greeted with? Why a David Finch painting of what appears to White Lantern Batman. We couldn’t help ourselves kids, so… here’s a few fleeting thoughts:
- Gotham City’s criminal underbelly quivers with fear as Marvel’s Murdering Bat-Wannabe Moon Knight moves to town.
- Upon returning to the Bat-Cave, Alfred will quip “I’ll go fetch more bleach from the store, Master Bruce.”
- Well, Bruce has been a Green Lantern (for an Elseworlds tale, and like 3 panels in GL), a Yellow Lantern (for a panel), and a Black Lantern (for several panels!)… why not continue to try on another Lantern costumes for a minute or two?
- The utility belt will now contain Mint Mentos, Peppermint Tic-Tacs, and another incredibly large gas powered zip line launcher than can’t possibly fit on the belt.
- We’re pretty sure this is Bruce, cause last time we checked, Dick Grayson’s forearm veins weren’t thick enough to show through kevlar-lined gloves like Bruce’s do. Bruce uses shake weights.
- After seeing this costume change, all Robins breathe a sigh of relief, because finally they won’t be the easy one to spot in the shadows.
- In case you were wondering… White Lantern Batman can still beat Superman, if he so chooses.
- Upon seeing the White Lantern Batman, the Joker will become confused, and cause a real faux-pas by robbing the 2nd National Bank of Gotham in blackface.
- Given that we’re pretty good at deciphering solicit text now… it’s safe to assume White Lantern Batman will be seen in a single panel, and then we’ll have to move on to the next story in Brightest Day, which is subsequently also 1 panel. Hey, give DC a break, it’s not easy juggling 17 C-listers in a book that prints every other week.
- Mark Millar is already filing a lawsuit on behalf of “Nemesis”… but don’t worry, no one reads it.
- White Lantern Batman will have the power to make you forget most of the weird crap Grant Morrison has come up with for the character in the last few years.
- Subsequently, Grant Morrison will have a really cool way to ret-con the White Lantern Batman story in his 2017 run on Batman, tentatively titled “Batman Sorta Dies Again, because we need to sell more Bat-books this month.”
Great Article. Made me laugh for sure!
Great Article. Made me laugh for sure!
The real joy of this will be the soon to come White Lantern Batman action figure!
Great Article. Made me laugh for sure!
The real joy of this will be the soon to come White Lantern Batman action figure!
this must be a custom action figure someone already made
http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs358.snc4/4…
this must be a custom action figure someone already madehttp://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs35…