Tagged: Washington

Emily S. Whitten: Mr. Antisocial Advisor

Whitten Art 130129In the bleak midwinter (or whatever you call this part of January; there’s snow on the ground and it’s super-cold here and the heat’s not working, is all I know) we could all use a little cheering up, and a reminder that there’s more to the world than ice and the howling wind.

In fact, there are people! Friendly, cheerful, sociable (and warm!) people, just waiting to be our friends or date us or possibly some combination of the two. But it can be easy to forget there are other people out there when it’s so cold all you want to do is stay inside huddled under a fleece blanket and a barskin cloak (what? That’s just me? Oh.). And when you do eventually venture out from under your space heater that you’ve hung directly above your bed (to accompany the ones on either side of it, of course), you may have forgotten a step or two in the dance of social niceties, which requires practice to maintain. That’s why I invited everyone’s favorite sunshine-y relationship advisor to stop by and do a guest appearance on my column!

…Okay, that’s not exactly what happened. Maybe I had to go out of town this past weekend, and I didn’t have a ton of time just lying around in which to share my usual deep insights into the human and geek psyche with you, and maybe Rorschach just happened to stop by right after receiving some letters from honest citizens in desperate need of some social advice, and maybe he had nothing better to do, all his cans of beans and sugar cubes being neatly stacked already and the weather keeping most people from committing any obvious crimes on the streets…and so maybe I suggested he take over my column this week for my own selfish reasons, e.g. so I could pack for my trip.

And maybe this is all actually my friend Viv’s fault, because she is the one who originally suggested the previous advice column which first brought us the never-ending gift of Rorschach sharing his valuable social insights.

Regardless! Here he is, ready to share his wisdom with the masses! Lucky masses.

Rorschach’s Advice Column: January 29, 2013

Arrived in Washington, D.C. for meeting of dedicated crime fighters, to find “dedicated” crime fighters cowering and shivering behind closed doors. Pathetic scum, lacking moral conviction to protect city in face of wind and moderate-to-light snowfall. Reduced to helpless, shut-in imbeciles by thin layer of white on roadways. This city would weep for its weak protectors, but knows they also whimper at sight of icy rain.

Only reason crime not rampant in streets tonight is that people of this city are weaker than mewling “crime fighters,” who patrol alleyways only on warmer days. Crime fighters afraid to fight crime with runny noses. Can’t brave slight discomfort for greater justice. Can’t see that all that is needed to defeat crime and cold is trench coat, scarf, fedora, and fists. All I had as I walked streets tonight.

Tonight, a man dated in D.C. Then wrote letter asking my advice. Have tried to stop misguided weak-willed inhabitants of city from sending letters begging my perspective on their lives as they wallow in frozen slurry of self-loathing and despair. Can’t. Not even by breaking thumbs. Tried this last week. Man with broken thumbs cried. Then asked if he should send flowers to angry girlfriend. Left in disgust.

A man dated tonight, and nobody cares. Not even me. Will answer letters anyway, though, as answering letters passes time until miscreant am lying in wait for leaves bar.

Letter #1

Dear Rorschach,

How do I know if this woman I’ve met is The Right One?




Will answer question but then you must answer mine: were parents hippies? Who names child Vitt? Is that even name? Why does it contain numbers and symbols? Suspect an alias. Perhaps spy?

So. You went out. Probably to seedy bar. Bought drink. Talked to woman. Suddenly you discover Ms. Right. Convenient.

But she is not Ms. Right. Here is how I know: there is no Ms. Right. Relationships are farce. Also unimportant. All that matters is justice. And beans.


P.S. Do not try to trace this response, spy; you will fail.

P.P.S. Do not turn around. I am standing behind you but do not wish you to see me yet. Not until I am ready.

Letter #2

Mr. Rorschach,

How does a hamster find Mr./Ms. Right?



Fish on Bicycle:

Are you also spy? Do you know @Vitt311? Your name also gibberish and symbols. Possibly occult. Clearly is conspiracy. Will need to get to bottom of this. Hrm.

As for question: Rodents do not discriminate with mates. Can’t be discussing rodents. Must be code. Are “Hamsters” new street gang? Why have I not heard of them? Must investigate.

Well. If you are spy or miscreant gang member, there will never be a Mr./Ms. Right for you. You will always be alone. And probably in jail.


P.S. If you are not miscreant (unlikely) see previous question for answer.

P.P.S. Also send me full name, and address of your dwelling, as all you have given in letter is gibberish name and P.O. Box. This is not sufficient. Will need to question you further about these “Hamsters.”

Letter #3

Dear Mr. Rorschach;

If you are a spy, is it okay to date another spy at a rival agency, under the assumption that hilarity will ensue? Same question, but for Glee coaches.


Fishy Benjamin,

You claim to be a spy, yet use real name. Must be trap. Hrm.

Spies are not hilarious. Do not joke about spies. Or spy conspiracy. Which you are clearly part of.

Beginning to suspect advice column being used as spy trap to lure me in and pick off another costumed hero. Is obvious now, really. And Dreiberg called me paranoid.

Am done answering letters until have uncovered whole of spy ring out to get me. Will hunt you down, all of you, and exact justice for this persecution. Don’t bother to beg for mercy. There will be no compromise.


P.S. If did use real name, you are very bad spy.

P.P.S. What is Glee coach? Is this spy code? Sounds leftist.

•     •     •     •     •

Hey guys, it’s Emily! So…I just got back and Mike showed me the results of my latest experiment with guest writers. Uh…yeah, maybe inviting Rorschach over to play wasn’t such a good idea. But I don’t have time to write something new at this late date, so…sorry? And he didn’t really mean it, about the spy thing. And hunting people down. Not really. I don’t think. Um.

…Until next time, Servo Lectio?

P.S. I really am sorry.

P.P.S. I hope he’s not standing behind anyone right now.

WEDNESDAY: Mike Gold And Alfred Pennyworth’s Guns

Happy 100th Birthday, Chuck Jones!

1978 photograph of Chuck Jones in his office.

One hundred years ago today in Spokane, Washington, Charles Martin “Chuck” Jones was born. It is quite possible there has not been a more widely influential artist in the twentieth century.

We could easily list his over three hundred cartoons that he directed; we could talk about all of the influential cartoons that he didn’t do for Warner Brothers– Pogo, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, The Dot and the Line, and revitalizing Tom & Jerry; we could mention his creation and co-creations Private Snafu, Charlie Dog, Hubie and Bertie, The Three Bears, Claude Cat, Marc Antony and Pussyfoot, Charlie Dog, Michigan J. Frog, Marvin the Martian, Pepe LePew, the Road Runner, and Wile E. Coyote; we could discuss his educational work with The Electric Company and Curiosity Shop and his works with Dr. Seuss, not to mention the multiple generations of animators he taught and trained– but we’ll simply note that three of his shorts (Duck Amuck, One Froggy Evening and What’s Opera, Doc?) have been inducted into the National Film Registry.


Here, let Chuck show you how to draw Bugs Bunny:


And since this is in the public domain, we can show The Dover Boys at Pimento University in its entirety:


And here’s a Chuck Jones cartoon you probably haven’t seen, Hell-Bent for Election:


I was honored to have shaken Mr. Jones’s hand in 1993, and I owe him a tremendous debt. We honor him today. Chuck Jones… soooooooper-genius.

REVIEW: Homeland Season One

Not since the spy craze of the 1960s have there been so many television series about intelligence agents. There was the late, lamented and still-missed Rubicon and the JJ Abrams misfire Undercover. Currently, there’s the frothy, entertaining Covert Affairs and for those who like their espionage tales with some meat on the bones, there’s Showtime’s Homeland. The second season of the acclaimed series arrives at month’s end, but for now, the first season is just out on disc from 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment.

Anchored by the riveting performance from star Claire Danes, the series explores CIA agent Carrie Mathison and her quest to determine if a returned American POW, Marine Sgt. Nicholas Brody (Damian Lewis), is the real deal or a sleeper Al Qaeda  agent. Sounds simple enough, right? Instead, over the course of a dozen episodes, nothing is as it appears, starting with Mathison herself. When we meet her, she has just returned from an unauthorized operation in Iraq and is relegated to a Counterterrorism post back in Washington, DC. When her Director, David Estes (David Harewood), tells the staff a POW has been found, it confirms a rumor she had been fed about a sleeper agent. Is it Brody? Is it someone else? Are they connected? Already on thin ice from her Iraq mission, she has to investigate Brody carefully because everyone else has declared him a war hero and you don’t accuse heroes of being evil. Mathison only trusts her suspicions with her mentor, Saul Berenson (Mandy Patinkin), and together they covertly investigate Brody.

Without giving away all the exciting twists and thrilling turns, suffice to say that over the season there’s a lot of red herring to wade through along with some excellent writing and performing. The series is filled with a lively, engaging, and rich cast including Morena Baccarin, Jamey Sheridan, Amy Hargreaves, and Navid Negahban. The storyline is an evolving one demanding you pay attention so as not to miss a clue (or strong performance). Nothing is as it appears and as the tension mounts, the audience is left to wonder about Mathison’s own sanity. When Patinkin comes to realize how vulnerable she is, the show shifts into some of the most heartfelt moments. Both are damaged souls and few can play that vulnerability better than these two.

Set in and around Washington provides plenty of pretty pictures but the real strength is in the richness of the storyline. In addition to the main plot, we focus on Brody’s homecoming after eight years away and how that has turned his wife and children’s world upside down. There’s the usual office politics and governmental affairs but it all feels fresh which is to be applauded.

Veteran producers Howard Gordon and Alex Gansa (24) were inspired to create this from the Israeli series Hatufim (Prisoners of War), which is now streaming on Netflix. They were lucky to craft a lead character complex enough to entice Danes back to series television, a move that earned her a Golden Globe nomination while the series took home Best Television Series – Drama. The first season arrived on October 2, 2011 and received 1.08 million viewers which was sizeable and stayed that way, earning critical acclaim with every passing week. Having all twelve episodes to watch once more, without waiting a week in between, allow you to study and notice nuances you may have missed the first time.

The four disc DVD or three-disc Blu-ray sets come with audio commentary and some very interesting deleted scenes that fill in some gaps or let characters breathe. The final disc also has the featurette Under Surveillance – Making Homeland, which is nowhere near as enlightening as it should be. There is also The Visit: A Prologue to Season 2 which you will have to watch and judge for yourself.

Glee, Ad Council and Transportation Team for “Stop the Texts” Campaign

Washington, DC and Los Angeles, CA (August 22, 2012) – Today, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), the State Attorneys General and Consumer Protection Agencies and the Ad Counciljoined with Twentieth Century Fox Television and Twentieth Century Fox HomeEntertainment to unveil new public service advertisements (PSAs) featuring scenes from season three of Fox’s award-winning television series “Glee” to educate young adult drivers (16-24) of the dangers of texting while driving.

Earlier this year, the Golden Globe winning series made headlines when a pivotal cliffhanger episode ended with a shocking and catastrophic crash due to texting and driving. Quinn Fabray (Dianna Agron) was driving to her friends’ (Rachel and Finn, played by Lea Michele and Cory Monteith) wedding when a she received a text. She took her eyes off the road to read it and to type the words “On My Way” for a matter of seconds, but in her distraction she swerved out of her lane and was hit in a tragic accident by an oncoming vehicle. It was months before the audience and “Glee’s” millions of young adult viewers would know the fate of her character, but the message was clear: texting and driving can have horrific consequences.

The new television and digital PSAs employ this powerful scene to emphasize that five seconds is the average time your eyes are off the road while texting and driving – when driving at 55 miles per hour, that is enough time to cover the length of a football field. The PSAs direct young adult drivers to the Texting and Driving Prevention campaign web site, StopTextsStopWrecks.org, where teens and young adults can find facts about the impact of texting while driving and tips for how to curb the behavior.

NHTSA reports that in 2010, more than 3,000 people were killed and an additional 416,000 were injured due to distracted driving, which includes texting while driving. The “Glee” PSAs are part of NHSTA, the State Attorneys Generaland Consumer Protection Agencies and the Ad Council’s national Texting and Driving Prevention PSA campaign. Launched in October 2011, this campaign is designed to curb the behavior of young adults who text while driving, address the compulsion of this behavior and demonstrate to overconfident young adult drivers that it is not safe to text while driving.


“Texting and driving is an epidemic on America’s roadways, but these crashes are preventable. Distracted driving does not just happen, it’s a choice,” said U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood. “The first line of defense must be personal responsibility by all drivers to put theirwireless devices away and keep their focus on the road, which is why we are working closely with our partners to build public awareness around this important safety issue.”

“This was a story we wanted to tell because we know the influence our show can have in starting conversations and raising awareness,” commented “Glee” executive producer and co-creator Ryan Murphy. “We were inspired by Oprah Winfrey’s campaign encouraging everyone to sign a pledge not to text and drive, which we all signed when we did her show a few yearsago, and we had been looking for an opportunity to tell the story of how a few seconds of carelessness could have a devastating impact on people’s lives. We’ve already heard from thousands of our fans how this story touched them, and we loved the idea of a PSA campaign to keep this important issue front and center.”

“’Glee’ has always told stories that speak to young people in an incredibly entertaining way, provoking conversation and raising awareness in the process,” said Dana Walden and Gary Newman, Chairmen of Twentieth Century Fox Television.  “When Ryan and the producers told us they were going to tackle this issue, we knew that beyond telling agreat, dramatic story about our characters, it could have very real impact on the lives of our viewers. We couldn’t be more proud of the work they and the cast have done on this incredible series.”

According to a new, national survey conducted by the Ad Council, there has been progress with the attitudes and behaviors among young adult drivers regarding texting while driving.  Fifty-one percent of young adult drivers report that they are “extremely concerned” about their peers texting while driving, which represents an increase of seven percent since September 2011.  Most notably, in regards to their current behavior, thirty-four percent of respondents said that they never text while driving, a significant increase from twenty-eight percent in 2011.

“Driving is one of the most dangerous activities for young adults. Texting while driving is a distraction that young drivers can live without,” said Connecticut Attorney General George Jepsen, the father of two teenage boys. “Drivers of any age should be aware that texting while driving may not only jeopardize the safety of themselves and others, but it can violate state motor vehicle laws against distracted driving and result in hefty fines or loss of driving privileges.”

“We are thrilled to join Twentieth Century Fox Television, Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment and ‘Glee’ to unveil a new series of public service ads to further extend our texting while driving prevention messages to their vast audience of young adult drivers,” said Peggy Conlon, president and CEO of the Ad Council. “Our latest research shows a nation that is now on the right track in improving the safety of our roads, but there is still more work to be done. We will continue to broaden our campaign messages to help reduce driver distraction, prevent injuries, and ultimately save lives.”

Since 2006, the Ad Council has partnered with the State Attorneys General to address reckless driving among teens. The “Stop the Texts. Stop the Wrecks.” campaign effort has received more than $20 million in donated media support to date.  For more than twenty-five years, the Ad Council and NHTSA have worked together on consumer safety PSA campaigns. Per the Ad Council’s model, all of the new PSAs will run and air in advertising time and space that is donated by the media.

Dennis O’Neil: Selling The Flag

Captain America, Abbie Hoffman and the sexy statue in the women’s department? What the heck do they have in common?

Hey, everyone, it’s Memorial Day here in the beautiful lower Hudson Valley and if we venture out into the sunshiny pre-summer day, we’ll be seeing some flags. Flags flapping from flagstaffs, flags draped on the front of houses, flags on cars and maybe shop windows and if we drive west, toward New City, we’ll see flags – a lot of flags – displayed along the road that passes over the reservoir because somebody – I have no idea who – hangs them from roadside poles there.

Maybe I’ll even throw them a salute or two, those flags, for old times sake. (At one point, my life was full of salutes. Not so much anymore.)

The other day, en route to a department store escalator, I passed a curvy mannequin clad in a bikini that seemed to be fashioned from, yes, a flag. I didn’t salute – hell, I didn’t even leer – but it’s just possible that I thought of Abbie Hoffman and Captain America.

Abbie, most of you may not know (because his moment happened before most of you were born) led protests of the Viet Nam war. (He was smart, charismatic and energetic and articulate and, come to think of it, a friend of ComicMix’s own Mike Gold.) In 1968, in Washington, Abbie was arrested for wearing a shirt that looked like a flag. This is not as draconian as it might seem (though it’s still plenty draconian): in those days, most states had anti-flag desecration laws. So, technically, Abbie was breaking the law.

His conviction was appealed, and overturned. Sometimes the universe is just.

I wonder: would the law have pounced on, say, a lady wearing a stars-and-stripes bathing suit? The flag code, which is promoted by patriotic organizations, specifies “no part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform.” Surely, a swimming suit, however minimal, qualifies as an “athletic uniform.”

And what if our swimmer lies down for a snooze on the beach? Again, the code: The flag should never touch anything beneath it, such as the ground, the floor, water, or merchandise.” Wouldn’t sand be as insulting as water? (And what kind of “merchandise” are we talking about, anyway?)

If our hypothetical bathing beauty is in trouble, Captain America had really better watch his p’s and q’s. Remember: “No part of the flag should ever be used as a costume…” And doesn’t Cap roll around in the dirt dodging bullets and the like?

I guess, at the end of the day, it all depends on who’s wearing the symbol, and why, and on who presumes to sit in judgment. That’s what the flag is, a symbol. Or a rectangle of colored cloth. But I won’t be entirely facetious if I salute it, later today, though what I’ll be saluting is probably different from what a tea partier salutes, or what is honored by the old men who send young men to war.

That’s a problem with symbols. They’re slippery.

FRIDAY: Martha Thomases


George Newbern reprises role of Man of Steel for SUPERMAN VS. THE ELITE

superman-menagerie-300x168-5942904George Newbern makes his triumphant return as the voice of the Man of Steel in SUPERMAN VS. THE ELITE, the latest DC Comics Premiere Movie coming June 12 from Warner Home Video.

Newbern put all the resounding tones of truth, justice and the American way into the commanding vocals behind the animation of Superman in both the Justice League and Justice League Unlimited television series. He last reprised the character’s voice for the DC Showcase original animated short, Superman/Shazam! The Return of Black Adam.

Newbern is a constant on primetime television, appearing on current hit series like NCIS, The Mentalist, Castle and Grey’s Anatomy, to name a but a few. He’s widely recognized for his starring turn opposite Steve Martin in Father of the Bride, and for the NBC series Providence. His latest projects include a recurring role on the new ABC hit series Scandal.

superman-2-300x168-4918628In SUPERMAN VS. THE ELITE, Superman’s effectiveness as a super hero comes into question when a new group of super powerful crusaders, known as “The Elite,” appear on the scene.  As super heroes, the Elite know no bounds, and are more than willing to kill, even on a massive scale, to stop villainy — putting them on a collision course with the ever-ethical and decidedly non-lethal Man of Steel.

Newbern is joined in the core cast by NCIS star Pauley Perrette as Lois Lane and versatile voice actor Robin Atkin Downes (Babylon 5) as Manchester Black, leader of The Elite. David Kaufman (Justice League: Doom) also reprises his Justice League TV series role as Jimmy Olsen.

Produced by Warner Premiere, DC Entertainment and Warner Bros. Animation, the all-new, PG-13 rated film arrives June 12, 2012 from Warner Home Video as a Blu-ray™ Combo Pack and DVD, On Demand and for Download. Both the Blu-ray™ Combo Pack and DVD will include an UltraViolet™ Digital Copy.

Newbern offered a few thoughts about playing Superman in a short chat following his final recording session for the film. (more…)

Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment and America’s Blood Centers Team Up to Support National Blood Drive

immortals-film-3-298x450-4805173Every now and then, a studio does something pretty impressive during the marketing of their movie or DVD release and want to acknowledge when someone goes above and beyond. We here at ComicMix will let you decide if Immortals was cheesy or wonderful but we will urge you to help out with the blood drive in support of the DVD release.

Nowhere near enough people donate blood on a regular basis and yet it is vitally needed every minute of every day. We’ve had enough personal experience to tell you how important this simple act is and ask that you consider making a donation at a local Red Cross if you don’t live near the venues listed below.

Check out this press release:

To celebrate the Blu-ray 3D, Blu-ray and DVD release of the epic film IMMORTALS on March 6th, Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment and America’s Blood Centers are organizing blood drives at 30 select universities across the country starting this week and continuing through March 9th.  Students and participants will experience Director Tarsem Singh’s visually stunning film, pick up exclusive IMMORTALS premium items, while donating blood at their local college campus.

Inspired by the sacrifice that Theseus made of himself to save mankind, the IMMORTALS blood drive event will help support the work of America’s Blood Centers to fulfill their mission to help those who are in need as well as encourage others to give. (more…)

9/11 – Cartoonists Unite!

Continuing a great and long-standing tradition, about 90 of our top newspaper comic strips will be commemorating the tenth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on and in Boston MA, New York City NY, Newark NJ, Shanksville PA and Washington DC by producing special strips, with each cartoonist making his or her individual comment on the event.

Strips that will be participating include Agnes, Apt. 3-G, Archie, Arctic Circle, Ask Shagg, B.C., Baby Blues, Barney & Clyde, Beakman And Jax, Beetle Bailey, Between Friends, Big Nate, Bleeker The Rechargeable Dog, Blondie, Brewster Rockit: Spaceguy!, Buckets, Buckles, Candorville, Chuckle Bros, Crankshaft, Curtis, Daddy’s Home, Deflocked, Dennis The Menace, Dick Tracy, Dog Eat Doug, Dogs Of C-Kennel, Doonesbury, Dustin, Edge City, Elderberries, Fastrack, Fort Knox, Freshly Squeezed, Funky Winkerbean, Gasoline Alley, Grand Avenue, Hagar The Horrible, Heart Of The City, Heathcliff, Heaven’s Love Thrift Shop, Herb And Jamaal, Hi And Lois, Home And Away, Ink Pen, Lacucaracha, Lio, Little Dog Lost, and Luann.

Continuing our alphabetical list: Mallard Fillmore, Mark Trail, Marvin, Mary Worth, Momma, Mother Goose & Grimm, Mutts, Nancy, Ollie & Quentin, On A Claire Day, One Big Happy, Over The Hedge, Pardon My Planet, Pluggers, Pooch Caf’e, Prickly City, Pros & Cons, Real Life Adventures, Red Rover, Reply All, Retail, Rhymes With Orange, Rubes, Safe Havens, Sally Forth, Sherman’s Lagoon, Shoe, Six Chix, Snuffy Smith, Speed Bump, Stone Soup, Strange Brew, Tank Mcnamara, The Amazing Spider-Man, The Brilliant Mind Of Edison Lee, The Duplex, The Family Circus, The Meaning Of Lila, The Other Coast, The Pajama Diaries, Tina’s Groove, Todd The Dinosaur, Wizard Of Id, Zack Hill, Zippy, and Zits.

Further, special exhibits and presentations will be made at The Newseum in Washington, D.C., The Cartoon Art Museum in San Francisco, The Toonseum in Pittsburgh, and The Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art (MoCCA) andThe Society of Illustrators, both in New York City. Contact the individual museums or go to http://cartoonistsremember911.com/ for more information.

Chicago’s new mayor isn’t the fake one we actually wanted.

Listen up, you mutha-cluckers… Chicago has a new boss in town. Why does this matter to you? Because I said so. Why did I say so? Because the Second City is known for a few big things: The Chicago Style Hot Dog, Deep Dish Pizza, Da ’85 Bears, and maybe just an eensy-bit of good old fashioned corruption. But now it can be known for one more big thing. Our new mayor? Former White House chief-of-staff Rahm “The R-Bomb” Emanuel. When our current boss mayor, Richard Daley announced he’d retire this year from his post… Emanuel left his job in Washington to take his home city by the horns. But it’s been a long journey to get there. He took 54% of the vote, despite having his Chicago residency being challenged. He beat out the former city chief of staff, the former city clerk, and a former U.S. Senator for the title. But if you ask me? He didn’t beat one important candidate, his psuedo-self. In a paradoxical sub-dimension high atop City Hall, in a secret greenhouse known only to our beloved Mayor Daley… and @MayorEmanuel, the dimensional doppelganger of Chicago.

What’s that you say? You’ve not heard? @MayorEmanuel is the twitterverse’s Rahm Emanuel clone. The account started shortly after the “real” Rahm declared his intention to run. And boy did things escalate from there. @MayorEmanuel’s story unfolded over the months, and became an epic yarn with a full cast of characters. It began as a string of foul-mouthery perhaps poking a jovial jab towards the obvious; Rahm is known for his temper, his drive, and his competitive nature. He raised 11 million dollars to take his campaign to the streets of Chicago. He shook hands and kissed babies. We can only assume he attended secret cabal meetings, and struck backroom deals that we kindly city-folk won’t find out until they hit the nightly news a few years after his mayoral run ends… if it ends. His twitter counterpart followed the whole ride, as only a comedic four-letter-word-dropping twitter clone could do. And as the race for mayor drew closer to the vote, so did the drama.

Twitter to many is just that little corner of the interwebs where we drop a snarky one liner, or tell people where we are at. It might be a place for celebrities to tell us how normal they are, shopping for soup and whatnot, or how not-normal they are, like other Chicago Celebutaunt Kanye West. @MayorEmanuel used twitter to create a piece of short fiction (OR IS IT!?) that was truly original. A few bloggers followed the best of the posts and relayed just how awe-inspiring they were. And important people took notice. The “real” Rahm made and attempt to bribe his twitter-sibling with a donation to charity, to “out” himself. Smartly the anonymous fingers behind the 140 character-at-a-time hasn’t shown his face. Perhaps he escaped down the aforementioned time well in his tweets.

Give a gander at the saga, and kick yourself for not living here (that is, if you don’t…) and living through this live alt-meta-super fiction happening. In the mean time, the real Rahm is prepping his mayoral suit, and perhaps, setting aside a bit of our future city tax dollars towards a special “find @MayorEmanuel and break his hands” task force. I think I’ve said too much. All Hail Rahm! All Hail Rahm!