Tagged: Milestone Media

With Great Power… by Michael Davis

News
November 9, 2007

It’s no secret that I think that people who worship celebrity are idiots. I mean, come on; do these people really think that Britney is thinking about them? Every night on a popular entertainment news program they have something called “Britney watch.” That is just nuts to me. This show follows Britney Spears everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE! If she goes to Starbucks there are camera crews watching her sip from a cup. I’m not kidding.

Most of the people we hold up as stars are also looked up to by many as heroes. Really? With that in mind I wondered what would happen if our super heroes acted like today’s stars.

My apologies in advance to DC, Marvel, Archie and everyone else. Hey guys, satire is good for the soul!

High above the skies of Metropolis an epic battle rages. For hours Superman and the evil super villain have traded blow after terrific blow. Neither asking for quarter neither granting any. Finally Superman looks into the face of the evil super villain and shouts, “You can’t win evil, super villain!” The evil super villain produces a green rock from behind his back. He thrusts it out at Superman who withdraws in terror! “ Kryptonite!” Superman says the word as if its very mention is painful to him. The evil super villain flies closer to Superman who is struggling to remain airborne. “Now you will die!!” The evil super villain declares as Superman plummets from the sky!

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Dumb Ass, by Michael Davis

News
November 2, 2007

DNA pioneer James Watson says blacks are genetically less smart. He told a UK newspaper whites are more intelligent. Watson, the man who along with Francis Crick won the Nobel Prize for discovering the double-helix structure of DNA, is facing a HUGE backlash after claiming that black people are genetically less intelligent than whites.

I don’t know what the uproar is. He’s right. Well he’s right when it comes to me. I’m sure he’s smarter than I am.

Or is he?

I’m a pretty smart guy but I doubt if I’m smarter than a Nobel Prize winning scientist.

Or am I?

Mr. Watson tells the world that black people are dumber than white people and expected kudos from the world for his insight.

That’s like me saying Hitler was a hero and expecting a parade for my words of wisdom. Some small minded sick fools may believe that, but just how stupid would they be to say it?

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Because I Said So, by Michael Davis

News
October 26, 2007

My mother is almost 60 years old. She has been smoking a pack of cigarettes a day for almost 40 years. I don’t smoke. In fact I think it’s a stupid habit and I’m glad she told me not to do it.

She told me not to smoke. I listened. I’ll get back to that in a sec.

As I write this there is a raging debate over who can adopt and raise DOGS in this country. The talk show host Ellen DeGeneres gave a dog away she adopted. The agency said (and it was in the contract Ellen signed) you couldn’t give away an adopted dog so they went and took the dog away from the little girl Ellen had given the dog to. So Ellen goes on her talk show crying like a girl and tells the world of the injustice that has been done to this little girl. So what happened? Well the dog agency owners start to get death threats and Ellen’s legal team threatens “legal action” against the dog adoption agency.

What do I think? I could care less about Ellen, the dog agency, or the dog.

I am a wee bit concerned about this: why there is so much of an uproar about who raises a dog and virtually none about who raises kids?

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The Casting Couch, by Michael Davis

News
October 19, 2007

I have not gotten into trouble in a while so because I know I will be in Japan when this article runs, I can be safely away from the crap when it hits the fan.

I love the entertainment business for the most part. That’s for the most part. There are some areas of the business I don’t like and what I don’t like most of all are some in the acting profession.

I just don’t like certain actors. That’s certain actors. Most actors I’m cool with, this rant is not for them.

No, this rant is for the two types of actors I can’t stand. The first type is those who think what they do isn’t a profession, it’s a divine right. These “thespians” think they are involved with an art form of the highest ilk. Those conceited, self centered, cocky, arrogant, little brain, stuck-up creeps don’t take acting seriously and really piss me off.

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Michael Davis: The Fanboy Guide to Girls • Part 2

News
October 12, 2007

Welcome to the first Fanboy Guide To Girls Dating Review And Quiz! Judging from the comments and dirty looks I’ve been getting since last week’s column I see that there is a need for this type of high quality help for many of our Fanboy Nation!

Fanboy Nation trademark and copyright Michael Davis. You never know when something will catch on!

So, young Fanboy, you have your sights set on a young lady. She’s cute and you are trying to work up the nerve ask her out. Great! So here is a step-by-step guide to get her to say YES and begin your loving relationship…with a girl!

Step 1: Say hello to the lady in question and after she says hello to you… leave! That’s right, just give a taste of your coolness and walk away. Chicks dig a man of mystery!

Step 2: A day or so later walk up to her again, look her in the eyes and say, “I would like to have lunch with you.” Don’t forget to smile – unless you have gold teeth like those idiot rappers. When she says yes, you tell her where to meet you and walk away. If she says no, you calmly look at her and say “Oh I’m sorry I wasn’t talking to you.”

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MICHAEL DAVIS: The Big Payback

News
September 21, 2007

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGG!!!

I had another S-No-C all ready to go when O.J. Simpson gets arrested! Damn, damn da-damn damn. As long time readers will know I have evoked O.J.’s name in the past so it’s falls on me to comment on these recent events. As I did when Paris Hilton was arrested. I was on her ass (figure of speech) long before her arrest so when she was arrested I had to comment.

How do I come to write about events and people before they become even more news worthy? Because I Michael Davis am really M.O.T.U. Master Of The Universe! Not to be confused with He-Man Master of The Universe, no I am M.O.T.U. Master Of the Universe and I have been calling myself that for well over 10 years, as my business cards and money clips proudly display. Ask anyone who knows me that’s been my line for a long long time. However over the last week or so I have gotten many calls saying that Jeremy Pivin on the television show Entourage called himself that on a recent episode. Just so we are clear, if you ever hear anyone say, ‘Hey, there goes The Master Of The Universe.’ They are referring to (wait for it) …me.

Sorry, as my friend Peter David says, I digress. Back to the idiot at hand. For those of you living under a rock or living in Atlanta, O.J. (which stands for original jerk) Simpson was arrested over the weekend for – get this-armed robbery, kidnapping and a host of other charges.

And he was arrested in Las Vegas, of all places! What a lot of you may not know is that Vegas has a less than stellar racial past. Oh you may know the glamour side of Vegas, but let me clue you in, Vegas is not the place you want to be arrested if you are black. When black people say ‘What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.’ We are talking about bodies.

So, now Mr. Simpson is facing life in prison because of his stupid, STUPID actions in, of all places, Sin City.

You can’t make this stuff up.

When I say stupid, I do mean stupid – as in dim, thick, dense, slow, brainless, din-witted, obtuse, just plain stupid. How did this guy think he could walk into someone’s hotel room with a bunch of guys (some with guns) and rob them? Yes, he says it was his stuff. Yes, it looks like he was set up. Yes, there is a lot more to this than meets the eye.

But no one cares. This is the Big Payback.

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MICHAEL DAVIS: The Real World

News
September 14, 2007

I am lucky enough to know some pretty influential people in the entertainment world. When I say “influential” I mean people who have positions where they can “green light” work. They can give the “yes” to make your idea a reality or hire you to work on an existing project.

I have been fortunate in my career to “green light” some things. I have tried to give as many talented people as I can opportunities to take their ideas or talent to the next level.

We all know that the comic book community is responsible for some of the greatest creative endeavors in the history of the world. That’s right, I’ll say it again, the comic book community is responsible for some of the greatest creative endeavors in the history of the world… of the world.

I am very proud to have contributed in a small part to the industry and even prouder that my mentor program has produced some amazing talent.

But…

What burns me is the lack of foresight and professionalism by some of the best in the industry and what really burns me is the new guard coming up who have this terrible work ethic. One glaring example of that work ethic: lateness in the comic book industry has become a standard practice.

Blowing deadlines has been a staple of comic book business for decades. I have blown a few myself. When I did ETC for Piranha Press DC’s ‘mature reader” imprint (way back when DC liked me) I was so excited that I got that gig that I was determined to do the best work ever! ETC was a five issue 52-page (per book) mini-series that was to be the first thing out from Piranha. You would think in all my excitement I would have taken it a bit more serious.

I thought I did take it serious. I thought. I was wrong. I was stupid.

I spent way too much time doing “research” and such. So after two months I had no finished pages. Oh, I had done something on all 52 pages. But with a week left on my deadline, I had NO finished pages.

I hated the way that book turned out. The funny thing about ETC is it was almost universally hated… except in France. I’m not kidding. I still get fan mail from France on that book.

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MICHAEL DAVIS: Reading is Fundamental

News
September 7, 2007

My friend Tony Isabella has mentioned that I give a good rant, Tony; this is about to be the rant to beat all rants!

I am soooooo pissed. I had two columns ALREADY written so I could get ahead on my ComicMix deadlines. I have a great deal of work to do with my comic book line, a new project called The Adjuster (you will hear about that soon enough) and The Underground from Dark Horse, so I wanted a few S-No-C’s in the can so I could deal with those projects but then…

LAST SATURDAY I WATCHED THE TV SHOW CNN’S NEWSROOM!

I have no idea why they call this show CNN’S Newsroom. News is supposed to be reported fairly. This show was SO biased that it reminded me of the McCarthy witchhunts of the 50s.

The host of any news show should be impartial. The host of this show was about as impartial as a Jewish mother who has the choice between saving her child or Hitler from falling off a cliff.

The show focused on Black Entertainment Television’s (BET) hard-hitting satirical video Read A Book that asks the viewer to (wait for it) read a book. The key word in all of this is satirical, as in satire.

The creators of the video were on the show but were never given a chance to complete a thought. The host kept cutting them off. He would ask them a question and not let them answer. That’s real journalism right? They should change the name of the show from CNN’S Newsroom to Shut up while the host talks.

The “panel” consisted of concerned parents. In another journalistic milestone, there were NO parents on the opposing side. All the parents on the show hated the video. I told Reggie Hudlin when he first showed me Read A Book some months ago that some people would have a issue with this. I said some people.

Little did I know that the chorus CNN choose to sing would only include parents that hated the video? How fair is that? Let’s see, let’s have a new show debating the war in Iraq. Our panel will be George Bush, Dick Cheney and… that’s it! All you will need for CNN’S Newsroom.

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MICHAEL DAVIS: That’s Just Wrong

News
August 31, 2007

For the last two weeks my articles have been light hearted and funny. Well I thought they were funny. I think I’m a funny guy (not in a brokeback way) but in a kind of “That Michael Davis is a funny guy” in a ha-ha kind of way.

Now there are plenty of people who think I’m not funny. That’s fine. There are people who think I’m an idiot. That’s fine. There are even some people who think I’m a genius. That’s fine. In fact that’s my favorite assessment of me.

Notice a trend here? If you don’t think I’m funny, if you don’t like my column, heck if you don’t like or agree with me, that’s just fine.

From day one of this column I have been right up front on where I stand. Actually it has been a staple of my writing. For those who may be new to this site and my column here’s a very small snapshot of some of what I am about.

I am a liberal Democrat, except when it comes to violent crime. In fact if it was up to me I think violent criminals should be put to death during half time at the Super Bowl. So it’s fair to say that I am a conservative when it comes to crime. I think people should be able to worship whoever or whatever they want. I think that people who treat their dogs like members of the family are nuts. I think DC comics are the best in the industry. I don’t think people should insist you believe what they believe. I love hip hop, I hate bluegrass. I think the Beatles are the greatest band in the history of popular music. I think Michael Jackson is the greatest performer ever. I love Frank Sinatra. I hate the TV shows Real World and Sweet 16. I love the TV shows All My Children and Family Guy. I think George Bush is the worst President in the history of America. Lastly, I firmly believe that you CANNOT regulate morality.

The above is just the tip of the iceberg on what I believe. You may agree or not. In fact if you don’t agree with anything I said and think I’m an asshole, that’s fine to.

But I’m not wrong.

On the flip side I don’t believe that you should be able to ride a motorcycle without a helmet, smoke cigarettes, climb a mountain, jump out an airplane, hunt deer, eat raw fish. I don’t believe that dogs should see therapists, that Paris Hilton is sexy, that NASCAR is a sport. If you believe any of that then more power to you my friend.

I think some of those things I don’t believe are just stupid. As an example, I think riding a motorcycle without a helmet is your suicide waiting to happen. I ride a motorcycle and I won’t even look at it without my helmet. In fact in over 10 years of ownership I have never been on a highway.

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MICHAEL DAVIS: It’s a real mad mad mad world part 1

News
August 17, 2007

What is up with heroes today? I just got back from Wizard World Chicago and as I was walking around the con I took notice of the posters, billboards and other comic company signage. What I observed with little exception is the look on the heroes faces… they all looked mad. I mean they looked pissed.

I ask again, what is up with heroes today?

Do all the comic companies have a template for posters? Stop me if you’re seen this: the hero or heroes are standing with a smoke filled background or battlefield usually the background is an orange or red hue. They stand with this look of utter anger. They all look like the first words they would say to you upon meeting you at a funeral is I will kick your ass!

I remember when Superman would… smile. Wow, what a concept a hero who stands for truth, justice and the American way smiling once in a while. I remember when Superman was a role model and he would stand there with his hands on his hips legs firmly planted on the ground looking out at the reader with a HUGE smile on his face.

Heck, I remember when Bat-Man would smile from time to time. I saw a poster at the DC booth with Wonder Woman looking out at the viewer with that “mad look.” From what she looked like on that poster I am now sure that even comic book characters suffer from PMS.

Hey, I’m sure that there are posters and characters out there that smile or project a more positive attitude. I just don’t see them. Now Marvel and DC know their audience but there seems to me to be an effort out there to make everybody “hard,” as the rappers say. This look is not new to the comic world. In fact it’s ripped off completely from Hip-Hop.

When’s the last time anybody ever saw a rapper smile on an album cover? The “Hard” look is everywhere. Look at high fashion models and that stupid look… football players… baseball players… heck, now opera singers stare out from their posters looking like Biggie Smalls.

As I said before Marvel and DC know their audience and they are the market leaders, so this is what the public must want.

But (as you knew there would be) …

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Tagged: Milestone Media

With Great Power… by Michael Davis

Dumb Ass, by Michael Davis

Because I Said So, by Michael Davis

The Casting Couch, by Michael Davis

Michael Davis: The Fanboy Guide to Girls • Part 2

MICHAEL DAVIS: The Big Payback

MICHAEL DAVIS: The Real World

MICHAEL DAVIS: Reading is Fundamental

MICHAEL DAVIS: That’s Just Wrong

MICHAEL DAVIS: It’s a real mad mad mad world part 1

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