Tagged: Martha Thomases

Still The One, by Martha Thomases

Still The One, by Martha Thomases

 
Last week, I pulled a muscle in my back.  This event, though rare, is not unknown; my back will hurt me every other year or so.  I should know the steps by now – hideous, agonizing pain, worse than any other person ever born has ever endured (because it’s happening to me), rest and recuperations, which includes excruciating guilt about suspending my workouts while the muscle recovers.  In a week or so, the pain will be gone and I’ll forget about it until the next time.
 
For now, though, I can’t sit down or stand up without an up-close-and-personal insight into how the muscles along the spine interact.  And every twinge reminds me that I’m no longer eleven years old.
 
For many people, an adult child, monthly condo payments, and the occasional hot flash might be enough to convince them that they were mature adults.  To me, these are just distractions from my real life.
 
In many ways, being an adult today is like the fantasyland I imagined as a child.  There are comic book stores, full of current comics, amazing toys and books about my favorite old television shows.  A few blocks from the comic book store, there’s a costume shop that’s open all year round, not just at Halloween.  There are candy stores, bookstores, bagel shops and playgrounds all over the place.  In a few weeks, it will be spring and I can roller-blade again.
 

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ComicMix Columns for the Week Ending Mar. 2, 2008

ComicMix Columns for the Week Ending Mar. 2, 2008

I love March, particularly the way the winds blow in such promise for the year to come.  Spring training, buds on the trees, the hope that we can avoid any more snowstorms, it’s all fraught with positivity.  Even our weekly ComicMix columnists seem to be more enthusiastic than usual (particularly Michael Davis with his Obama-at-SDCC teaser):

Spring forward, fall back into bed now…

If I Had a Hammer, by Martha Thomases

If I Had a Hammer, by Martha Thomases

 
If you’re reading this, we’ve survived February, my least favorite month. If we’re going to have Leap Years (and we are), I don’t see why we can’t have the extra day in May, or June, when there are flowers and it’s not too hot yet, but the days are long and full of promise. Instead, we stretch out February.
 
Cranky? Moi?
 
It’s really horrible for me to complain. I’m blessed with a family that’s only mildly neurotic, a roof over my head, a full refrigerator and work I enjoy. These facts only make me more apt to gripe, because these things should be adequate. Adequate is not enough.
 
So here are some things I would smash, if I were the Hulk:
 
• The city of New York, particularly the construction parts of it. I know Manhattan is the Center of the Intelligent Universe™, but there is no reason to drill through the surface of West Houston Street at one o’clock in the morning on the weekends. Because of this work, half of Houston Street is closed, so buses that pick up students on our block now do so on my street. For some reason, they think it’s appropriate to get here at least half an hour early, and idle their engines for the entire time. This is a violation of noise and environmental laws. Where’s my costumed vigilante?
 
• Talk shows. During the writers’ strike, progressives with principles refused to cross the picket lines of those programs – The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Real Time with Bill Maher – that counted on opinionated conversation. Faced with empty seats, the producers hired those willing to cross a picket line. For the most part, these people were right-wingers, apathetic to the issue, Joe Quesada, or some combination of the above. And that’s fine. It’s their choice. The show must go on. Baby needs a new pair of shoes. However, it made for rather boring talk. Now that the strike is over, there could once again be more, funnier talk, but there’s not. Bill Kristol has never been right about anything. P. J. O’Rourke isn’t funny and makes me miss Michael O’Donohue. Get them off my television!

 

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ComicMix Columns for the Week Ending Feb. 24, 2008

ComicMix Columns for the Week Ending Feb. 24, 2008

Ah, it’s Oscar time again!  I know I’ll be glued to my seat, whilst falling asleep in it at the same time!  Look for all the geeky movies to win the usual geeky (technical) awards, most of which won’t be given out on the air.  Better to get your geek on reading our ComicMix columns for this past week:

I know Ratatouille will probably win for Best Animated Feature, but I’m still rooting for Persepolis, so there.

The Sweet Smell of Rot, by Martha Thomases

The Sweet Smell of Rot, by Martha Thomases

 

This is my least favorite time of year.  It’s not that I mind the cold – in fact, this winter’s unnatural warmth has me creeped out – but the darkness.  The days are more dark than light since the middle of September, and it’s more than a month until that changes.  Every day is a bit brighter, but not enough.
 
The wait is excruciating.  
 
Every day, the buds on the trees are a little bit larger, a little bit more plump.  The first tentative shoots of crocus slip through the dirt in the tree pits.  The sparrows fight for twigs to build their nests, or maybe they fight because they’re in gangs, but they are noisy in a way that would be annoying if they were teenagers from the local high school, but charming when we can’t tell what it’s about.
 
It’s not enough.  
 
In just a few weeks, the calorie pear trees will be in bloom, and the chestnut trees, too.  They’ll be covered with white petals, like snow, and the first little leaves will be starting to burst.  The daffodils and tulips will splash color across the public gardens.  The soil will have the sweet smell of rot that comes with spring rain and spring thaw.
 

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ComicMix Columns For the Week Ending Feb. 17, 2008

ComicMix Columns For the Week Ending Feb. 17, 2008

The WGA writers are back at work, thank goodness, so there’s finally some good stuff to watch this President’s Day weekend (how can one have a "day weekend" anyway?).  Meanwhile, our ComicMix columnists have been typing away as usual; here’s what we’ve done for you this past week:

Just as a reminder, Denny O’Neill’s column was a bit waylaid this week so we didn’t get to enjoy it until Friday, but he’s still listed in his usual date order above…

The ‘In’ Crowd, by Martha Thomases

The ‘In’ Crowd, by Martha Thomases

 

It would be nice if, now that I’m in my mid-50s, I could stop worrying about whether or not I’m popular. Sensible people get over this in junior high, average people stop in high school, and only a few truly insecure carry it through to college. Grown-ups, who have jobs and responsibilities and hobbies, rarely let such thoughts cross their minds.
 
And then there’s me.
 
One of the most exciting things about this political year is the way outsiders have been welcomed, especially by Democrats. The leading contenders for the nomination are a black man and a woman, both of whom are decidedly wonky in their approach to politics. A Latino man ran a great campaign, and is assumed to be on the short list of possible vice-presidential candidates.
 
This is exciting, and for reasons far beyond the political (although, if this trend means the war will be over and people can stop getting blown up so frequently, and maybe in this country we can have health insurance, that would be great). 
 
Mostly, I can spend ignore these insecurities that have lingered for decades. When I can’t, I try to use my experience for good. By relating to outsiders, I find common cause with racial, ethnic and other minorities who are not always invited to society’s metaphorical proms. 
 

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Lost In ‘Lost’, by Dennis O’Neil

Lost In ‘Lost’, by Dennis O’Neil

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Denny’s column normally runs on Tuesdays, which is great because Denny e-mails it to me on Sundays. For some reason – and for the second or third time – his various e-mail accounts don’t seem to like my various e-mail accounts. We think we’ve straightened it out. Go figure. If computers were cars, we’d all be riding horses.

 

And now, Mr. O’Neil… -MG]

 

While I was sort of half-watching the two Lost specials our pals at ABC television were treating us to recently, I recalled the hot new trend of a couple of years ago. Serialized stories. Nothing resolved until late in the season. They came and they went, those shows, though there are a few survivors, of which my favorite, and apparently the favorite of millions of my fellow citizens (including you?) is the aforementioned Lost.
 
The purpose of the specials, which ran on consecutive evenings, was ostensibly to remind the Faithful of what’s been happening to those funsters on the island, and to clue in the non-Faithful, like me, people who just watch the thing for an hour’s easy amusement, as to what the hell the continuity is. (Another reason for the specials might have been the writer’s strike, now settled; clip shows like these eat up airtime at little cost and need no new material. Or am I being cynical?)
 

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ComicMix Columns For The Week Ending Feb. 10, 2008

ComicMix Columns For The Week Ending Feb. 10, 2008

There’s a new Marshall in town, and he’s laid down the law against punny headers.  So let’s just get down to business and rustle up this past week’s worth of ComicMix columns:

So if ComicMix newbee Rick is the Marshall, does that make me the schoolmarm with the heart of go — nah, I’m more like the extra mumbling "rhubarb" in the background…

The Look of Love, by Martha Thomases

The Look of Love, by Martha Thomases

 
It was 30 years ago this week that I first slept with the man who would be my husband. This didn’t happen because I sensed he was my soul mate, my other half, the light to my void. I didn’t think he’d be the perfect father to my children. I didn’t think I needed a date for Valentines Day. Neither did it happen because he had a lot of money, a great job, or a fantastic apartment.
 
I thought he was hot, cute and funny. We had met a few months earlier, at a press event, through mutual friends. We discussed the possibility of feminist porn, and he leant me a copy of Anais Nin’s Delta of Venus. Personally, I’m not a big fan of Nin, finding her writing a bit gooey, but it was a hell of a line.
 
Why am I mentioning this, aside from monumental self-absorption? It’s been an interesting life. We’ve had adventures. We’ve had fights. (We’ve also had over a decade of therapy, but that’s another column). We’ve had successes and failures. As a result, we have a lot of stories that we tell our friends and family at dinner parties.
 
Imagine if we had super-powers! We’d have even more stories to tell!
 

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