Emily S. Whitten: J!NX! You Owe Me A Baby Pig!

Eat More PizzaJust kidding, J!NX. You don’t owe me anything, because in fact you just sent me a whole bunch of things, and they are awwwwwesome! Although I’m not lying when I say I have a soft spot for baby pigs. But to get back to the point at hand – on Friday, I arrived home to a Mysterious Package of Mystery from J!NX, a store known primarily for video game-themed apparel and other merchandise. You can imagine my excitement! Upon tearing into it, I found a bunch of J!NX’s new merchandise – three cool women’s tees, two cool men’s’ tees, a hilariously fun hood, a Minecraft collectible/toy I can really get behind, and, of course, a couple of J!NX stickers.

First up was a shirt that shows J!NX knows where its priorities are and wants to make sure I do too: a.k.a. the women’s fit Eat More Pizza shirt. It’s pixelated deliciousness and it looks pretty yummy when worn, too. I love the color, and all of the tees feel soft and comfortable (yay!). Next in the batch was the women’s fit Pixelution tee, which shows the evolution of one wee red pixel into a cute l’il pixelated wizard. This shirt is downright adorable. And nerdy. It’s nerdorable! Also? The wizard makes me think of the Unseen University wizards of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld, so bonus points for that.

The next shirt came in a women’s and men’s fit, so clearly my boyfriend and I must wear them together for maximum gamerliciousness. We can also wear them around young children and then turn off the lights if we want to terrify them twofold, because the shirts are the frightening DOTA 2 Day Walker Night Stalker tees, and they glow in the dark!Mwahaha! I love things that glow in the dark!

And last up in the tees department was a men’s shirt that I’m sure my boyfriend will relish, given his favorite sweatshirt has the J!NX skull on it. You may think the regular ol’ J!NX skull is a little unnerving on its own; but if you really want to intimidate people, why not go for the Valhalla skull tee? With its nasty, big, pointy, teeth! It’s a winner.

And speaking of winners, to go with the tees, J!NX sent along the best hat. Well, okay, cowl, a.k.a. the DOTA 2 Meepo Cowl which has ears. Eaaaarrrrs!!! I’m a sucker for hats with ears. The cowl fits well, and the ears are soft and detailed and, despite being long and not having any wire inside, stand up very well, just as they should. Hooray! Clearly I’ll need to wear this at the next con I go to. And if you’re a DOTA 2 fan, it could definitely make a good costuming piece.

Last, but certainly not least (I saved the best for last), as someone who for a long time owned an accurate do-it-yourself plastic human skeleton, and who has a strange desire to own the Visible Gummy Bear that always seems to be out of stock on Thinkgeek, I was excited to receive the Minecraft Creeper Anatomy Deluxe Vinyl Figure. It’s both totally creepy and totally fun, with clever packaging “explaining” the parts of the Creeper, which include the brain (“Cerebral Cortex Programmed To Follow And Wreck Your Stuff”) and TNT, even though you can’t see the brain when the Creeper is all put together. And despite the assembled piece being half skeleton, and being the representation of a complete pain in the butt in the actual game, when put together it kind of looks like a weird little tragi-comedy pet. I confess I’m already rather fond of it (expecially given the TNT is fake and it can’t blow up any of my stuff).

If you’re a Minecraft fan and are looking for a fun piece of collectible merchandise, this is a pretty cool one to have. Although really, even if J!NX didn’t send me a plush pig, they should have sent me a plush ocelot to keep my Creeper in line! Right? Right?? Oh well. Maybe I’ll just have to do some shopping on my own. Including maybe picking up a few pretty cool Portal 2 things.

… Hey, do you guys hear that noise? It sounds like… someone crying? Oh. Oh, it’s my wallet. I’d better go calm it down.

But don’t worry, I’ll be back shortly; and until next time, Servo Lectio!