Author: Vinnie Bartilucci

So…Amazing Spider-Man #698…

  • News
  • November 21, 2012

amazingspiderman_698_secondprint-292x450-5122730I’m not going to show you the spoiler.

I’m not going to link to the spoiler.

I’m not going to allude to the events in the spoiler.

I’m going to discuss the REACTION people are having to the spoiler.

Now, Dan Slott has a Scorched Earth, Zero-Tolerance policy on spoilers for both this issue, and the two that follow, leading to the 700th (and LAST) issue of Amazing Spider-Man:

“Heads up: People are getting their hands on review/advance copies of ASM #698. I see anyone spoiling it ahead of time (before November 21st): I will BLOCK you for life on ALL social media. Very serious. We’ve worked VERY hard to keep this stuff under wraps and make this fun for people WHEN they read the book. We’ve done all we can on this end– now it’s up to you.”

He’s kept the pressure on by thanking the few people who have seen the page for keeping their mouths shut.

So as I say, I do not intend to discuss the spoiler itself, That is, other than to say it is as ground-shaking as he’s promised, or more precisely, threatened.

In honesty, it’s not technically a spoiler, in that it’s not the end of the story. It’s a single leaked page, upon which is a pretty cool plot twist. To say it’s a spoiler would be like saying the “spoiler” of Deathtrap (out today on Blu-Ray via the Warner Archives) is “And then they kiss!” That’s not the spoiler, it’s a major twist in the middle of the story, one that turns the tale on its ear. It does not tell you the ending, not even close.

The issue is expertly written.  You read it through, and then this happens, and you immediately go back and re-read it, saying, “When did…” and you realize the answer is BEFORE THIS ISSUE EVEN STARTED.  And you read it through again, and now every line means something WILDLY different.  It’s a delightful twist, and if you went and looked at the page online yesterday, you did NOT get the full impact of the moment, and if you go and read the issue today, you will.

If you’re a Doctor Who fan, I can best compare this to the big WTF moment at the end of The Almost People.  This is as good a conversation starter as that – when did it take place, how was it done, and most importantly, how will he get out of it?

People who have seen the page or read the issue seem to be making what is likely an incorrect assumption. They presume that the event in question is a harbinger of the status quo for the new series. They seem to forget that there’s two issues to go after this one. Dan Slott has started, whipped fans into a frenzy, and ended bigger storylines than this in less time. If this same exact,event occurred in, say, 648, people would be kicking up their heels and licking their lips and saying “THIS is gonna be fun!”

But the assumption is that the event will not change, not end, and represents what we will be reading in Superior Spider-Man in a few months. People who have been reading comics all their lives are suddenly convinced that this event is a fixed point in time.

And I have to wonder why.

If Superior Spider-Man was to be taken over by a new creative team, I’d be right there with you, convinced that we were in for months of A Bold New Direction, until cooler heads prevailed and we got back to reading about Spider-Man again.

This is DAN SLOTT. The man who successfully washed the taste of One More Day from our mouths with a narrative mix of peppermint schnapps and Sprite. The man who, when seeing that all the creative teams were being spun about like deck chairs in a storm on an ocean liner, lashed himself to the mast and nailed his feet to the deck.

You don’t know how it happened.

You don’t know what happens in the next one, two or three issues.

You can only look back at past performance, and extrapolate as to whether or not he’s going to write something you’ll enjoy. Not “agree with”, not “won’t get upset about”, but ENJOY.

I am not worried.

“Doctor Who Christmas Special” features Sontarans, smowmen, snarling

  • News
  • November 16, 2012

Christmas TardisThe prequel and trailer for the Doctor Who Christmas Special has just been posted via the BBC, hot off its appearance on the Children In Need annual appeal.

As reported earlier in the week, the BBC continues its tradition of presenting an exclusive clip for the charity’s annual telethon.  The clips have varied from trailers, exclusive scenes, and special greetings from the cast.

This year’s trailer offers a few tidbits both new and confirmed, including the name of the new Companion (Clara, as was rumored), a look at this year’s holiday-themed monster (snowmen, tho not apparently the Abominable variety so many of us were hoping for) and a peek at returning aliens Strax the Sontaran nurse (Dan Starkey) and sword-wielding reptilian lesbian Vastra (Neve McIntosh), and the presumptive baddie, played by Richard E. Grant (Hudson Hawk, How to Get Ahead In Advertising).

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G17_B4uACgg[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3KVpvEUTns[/youtube]

Because producer Steven Moffat is evil and feeds on our tears, the intro also pays lip service to the swirling cloud of theories about Clara somehow being connected to Oswin Oswald, played by Jenna-Louise Coleman in the season opener, Asylum of the Daleks. Moffat has already said in an interview that “That’s exactly the question I want you asking”, so he’s clearly doing what he can to get that happening.

Donations to Children in Need can be made at their website.

 

Doctor Who Christmas Preview Special Airs Friday

  • News
  • November 13, 2012

The countdown to the Doctor Who Christmas special has begun. As has become traditional, the BBC has produced a special Doctor Who short to air during the annual Children in Need appeal. A prequel to the upcoming Christmas special, the short will feature the first footage of current Doctor Matt Smith and his new companion, played by Jenna-Louise Coleman, in the same room.

Jenna-Louise appeared in the first episode of the season, Asylum of the Daleks, in a surprise appearance as the mysterious and tragic Oswin Oswald.  Fannish speculation has run rampant ever since as to any connection between Ms. Oswald and the Doctor’s new companion, about whom little is know save her rumored name, Clara.

Terry Wogan

Founded by British radio and chat show icon Terry Wogan, Children in Need helps disadvantaged children in Great Britain in many ways. Doctor Who and the charity have had a long history. The 30th anniversary adventure Dimensions in Time was broadcast during the telethon back in 1993. In the modern era of the series, David Tennant’s first scene as the Doctor was shown during the event, previous to his first episode, the first of the new Christmas specials.  Time Crash, the crossover between Tennant and Peter Davison ran two years later.

Like most charities, this annual event is its biggest fundraising opportunity. If every American Doctor Who fan who watches this prequel donates as little as a pound on the appeal’s website, it’d add a staggering amount to the total, and the work the cause can do.

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Randy Cunningham, Ninth Grade Ninja – he’s so Bruce!

randy-cunningham-9th-grade-ninja-0-550x412-9969796

To take a term from the show’s own lexicon, Randy Cunningham, Ninth Grade Ninja is the straight-up cheese.

That’s a compliment.

The latest animated series from Disney XD, part of a new edgy very non-Disney stack of shows that includes [[[Phineas and Ferb]]] and [[[Gravity Falls]]] (about which I should rightly wax rhapsodic another time) Randy Cunningham is a freshman at Norrisville High School, a school and a town who have been protected by a mysterious ninja for eight hundred years. What is not known by the populace is that The Ninja is a high school student; a new Ninja is selected from the freshman class, and they serve until they graduate, when a new frosh is chosen.  And this time around, young Randy Cunningham is chosen. In his bedroom, a mysterious box appears, containing the Ninja’s mask and the tome of secrets, the Ninjanomicon. It’s now his job to protect the town and school from villains like Hannibal Mc Fist, underappreciated evil genius Willem Viceroy III, and the Big Bad of the series, The Sorcerer, voiced by the can-do-no-wrong Tim Curry. (OK, we’ll ignore The Worst Witch – he was but a lad at the time.)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4xvxPWEdBE[/youtube]

At its core it’s a buddy comedy – Randy and his friend Howard Wienerman fight  the hordes of chaos, while still trying to become popular and get to class on time. Howard is the archetypal “Fat Friend”, seen most recently in the form of Nick Frost when paired with Simon Pegg. Ninjas are deadly and silent So Hot Right Now, and the show does a good job of balancing the classic semi-mystical powers of the shadow warrior with the modern take of a teenager in the suit.  The Ninjanomicon is quite reminiscent of The Phantom’s archives – the book is covered with notes in the margins from past ninjas as advice and explanation to the new guy.

The character designs seem very similar to the people from [[[Invader Zim]]], and with good reason – Bleeding Cool reported that Zim-creator (and conspirator) Jhonen Vasquez did character designs for the show.  He’s been sharing much of his work on his Tumblr page.

Lots of story to be explored, too, mostly about the history of the suit.  Will we meet any past wearers of the suit?  Have any ninjas not made it through all four years?  The show’s only a couple of episodes in, so there’s lots of time to explore all that. Till then, sit back and enjoy a solid adventure series with a lot of laughs.

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James Bond theme songs, from worst to first

Cover of "Thunderball: Original Motion Pi...The James Bond films are a part of the American pop culture landscape.  Like another British perennial, Doctor Who, you have your favorite, but you never forget your first Bond.  And almost more so than the films’ effect on us are the film’s theme songs.  Each one is memorable in its own way, some are standards, and some are positively iconic, recognizable after only two or three notes.

With the new film, Skyfall, out this weekend, I’ve taken a listen to them all.  And after much debate and shifting about, The Management has compiled a list of fifty years of James Bond theme songs, ranking them from bottom to top.

As is true of any list like this, there will be more than a little dissent.  We invite you to use the comments section to express your opinions.  Comparisons of the author’s intelligence and/or musical taste to various species of flora and fauna will not be conducive to a spirited argument.

Hall of Fame

Certain songs, as a result of being used in numerous Bond films, or simply because they’re so awesome as they’d take up place in the top of the list, have been accorded the honor of being placed on a dais above the competition, looking down upon the battleground in the way royalty watches a fine joust with detached satisfaction.

James Bond Theme – Rather an obvious one here.  technically it is the theme from the first Bond film, Dr. No (1962), but became almost synonymous with the character. It’s appeared in every film since, and rightly so. Monty Norman could have laid his pencil down and never composed again, and he still would get to go straight to Heaven.

007 Theme – First appearing in From Russia With Love and appearing in several films since, usually as background to a chase or fight scene, it’s another John Barry masterpiece, with its high brass and percussion.

Honorable Mention

These songs are either not from the official Bond series, or in one case, was not used, but are so thematically tied to the films that they deserve mention.

Casino Royale – Not the recent Daniel Craig film, but the screwball comedy with David Niven, Peter Sellers, Woody Allen, Daliah Lavi, and in that order. With a score and main theme by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, and the classic “The Look of Love” by Mr. Burt Bacharach, it’s a chaotic jumboort of a film, as memorable as any of the main series.

Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang – This theme song was originally intended to be the theme for Thunderball, but after versions were recorded by both Dionne Warwick and the grande dame of Bond, Shirley Bassey, the song was scrapped for the Tom Jones number with which we are all acquainted.  The decision was that the song needed to incorporate the title (a rule that fell by the wayside in later years, as you shall see.  Recent releases of the film’s soundtrack feature both recordings. There’s an urban legend that maintains that “Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang” is the Japanese name for 007. It is from this song that both the 2005 film and the first episode of Torchwood got their name.

Never Say Never Again – The history of Kevin McClory is a long one. To summarize, he was the first person to have the film rights to Bond, helped write the screenplay that eventually became the novel Thunderball, and got writer’s credit on the novel (after a court case) and held the film rights to Thunderball until his death.  He also held the film rights to SPECTRE, which is why the organization stopped appearing in the films after that one.  He tried many times to use his filmrights, but the only successful attempt was this film, in which they got Sean Connery to trturn to the role that made him world-famous.  The song is quite good, incorporates the theme well, and come on, it’s Sean Connery as Bond again, I refuse to give anything in the film a serious dig.  Yes, EVEN the hologrammy-shocky video game.

Spy Hard – The film was one of a long series of film spoofs in the Airplane! mold, starring Leslie Nielsen.  But it’s the theme song by “Weird Al” Yankovic that we honor here.  An original song, in the style of Bond themes, particularly Thunderball (with an obvious nod to the end of Goldfinger), sung by Al, over a Bond-esque title sequence, also directed by him, his first foray into directing.

Dr. Evil theme – from the second Austin powers film, The Spy Who Shagged Me, the song, by Brooklyn’s ambassadors of love, They Might Be Giants, and performed by John Flansburgh’s wife Robin Goldwasser, is a note-perfect sendup of the “villain song” that many Bond films have featured as their main theme.

Goodbye, Mr. Bond – by Buffalo-based rock band Blotto, the song was the last tune on their third album, Combo Akimbo. Singer Bowtie Blotto took the role of the baddie who had the joy of welcoming the superspy to his “fortress retreat”.  It features a number of original but very 007-reminiscent motifs, as well as witty lyrics that you could easily hear come from any Bond villain, and probably have.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbKNwEVF3Wo[/youtube]

Actor leaves Neil Gaiman “Doctor Who” script in cab, obvious happens

  • News
  • November 8, 2012

Neil GaimanBleeding Cool has a report of a very lucky person who found something lost in the back of a Cardiff cab – a copy of the readthrough script for Neil Gaiman’s upcoming Doctor Who episode. Providing only a photo of the cover and a snippet of the cast list, it provides a number of spoilers, including:

  • The title of the episode (assuming it doesn’t change – Neil’s first episode, The Doctor’s Wife was originally titled The House of Nothing among other names)
  • The names of both Warwick Davis’ and, perhaps more  importantly, verification of Jenna-Louise Coleman’s character.
  • Presumably, the name of the actor who lost the script, as it’s printed in big gray letters on the cover (and one must assume, every page) so it can be easily tracked whose it is in case, well, in case it gets left in a cab.

After much soul-searching, this reporter has chosen not to disclose these facts, for the sake of maintaining the fun of not knowing what cometh.  But it’s up at the link above.

The image first appeared on FaceBook, and since moved to Reddit, where it has garnered much interest, including, eventually, that of the BBC, who have made arrangements to have it returned.  One must assume a brief neuralyzer session will follow.

Neil Gaiman and the Cybermen return to “Doctor Who”; Warwick Davis guest-stars

  • News
  • November 7, 2012

Warwick Davis

Warwick Davis will be making a foray into a new camp of sci-fi fandom in 2013 when he appears on fifty-year-old juggernaut Doctor Who. In an episode for the second half of this season, Davis will appear in an episode written by fifty-one year-old juggernaut Neil Gaiman, returning to the series after his Hugo-winning episode, The Doctor’s Wife. The BBC has not released the title, but revealed yesterday the episode will feature the Cybermen.  Also starring in the episode will be Jason Watkins (Being Human) and Tamzin Outhwaite (EastEnders).

Davis casts a long shadow over science fiction and fantasy.  Starting with his role as Wicket W. Warrick in Return of the Jedi, he’s enjoyed a long and varied career in many franchises.  He played the title character in George Lucas and Ron Howard’s Willow, and was similarly titular in the horror franchise Leprechaun.  He played Marvin the Paranoid Android in the recent Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy film,  appeared in the Harry Potter films as Professor Flitwick, and will be appearing in Bryan Singer’s Jack the Giant-Killer.

Davis’ most recent triumph is the Ricky Gervais comedy Life’s Too Short, which recently completed a run on HBO.  In it he played an exaggerated version of himself, separated from his wife and straining under a massive tax bill, all while he produces and films a documentary about himself which chronicles these travails.  Davis shows remarkable comedic timing and ability to do physical comedy in the series, playing the perfect balance of a hateful, selfish interpretation of himself who you still feel sorry for when horrible things happen to him.

Keeping with the whimsical self-deprecating tone of the series, he’s released an iPhone app, PocketWarwick, which turns him into a 21st century Tamagotchi.  You are responsible for keeping him clean and fit as progressively more lucrative acting jobs are sent by his agent, as you attempt to bring you little thespian up from Z-lister to the A-list.

It’s rather safe to say that an appearance on the longest running science-fiction show his history will go a long way towards that goal. At this rate, he’ll have that tax-bill sorted in no time…

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Review: “Wreck-It Ralph” needs no hint book to unlock its fun

The Kid would never forgive if I used any other poster…

Wreck-It Ralph is very much of a new breed of Disney animation, showing both the freshness of new blood in the company, and a new attention to story with Pixar’s John Lasseter now holding court as the New Walt at the company.  Directed by Rich Moore (The Simpsons) and written by Moore, other Simpsons alum Jim Reardon, the film takes ideas from Toy Story, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and Saturday Morning cult favorite Reboot.  The world inside videogames is alive; after hours they visit each other, attend parties and if their games were unplugged, roam the halls of Game Central Station begging for spare fruits and power-ups.

Wreck-it Ralph (John C. Reilly) is the antagonist of classic videogame Fix It Felix Jr., the titular hero voiced by Jack McBrayer.  After thirty years of being the bad guy, he examines his life and finds it lacking.  He attends the 30th anniversary party for the game at Felix’s penthouse apartment, and is made clear he is not welcome by the denizens of the apartment house whose job is his to demolish hundreds of times daily.  He attempts to show that he wants to be a good guy, and is told that he is a bad guy, will remain a bad guy, and that he must “go with the program”.  He embarks on a quest to “become a hero”, which he believes will bring him the love (or at least the penthouse apartment) of the people of his game.  He plans to “game jump” into another videogame, where he can take the role of good guy and achieve his dream.  His choice, the new sci-fi shoot-em-up Hero’s Duty, spearheaded by the gruff and buxom Sergeant Calhoun (Jane Lynch).  He makes it to the climax of the game, and earns a “hero” medal, but his ingrained predilection to destroy sends things into a shamble quickly, launching him screaming into the super-sweet cart-racer Sugar Rush, with a cy-bug, one of the baddies from Duty in tow.  He meets Vanellope Von Schweetz (Sarah Silverman), a bit of glitch code from the game who, like Ralph, wants to better herself and prove she can be a hero.  But according to the ruler of the land, King Kandy (Alan Tudyk), there may be a real danger if Vanellope lives out her dream.  And all along, the Cy-Bug from Hero’s Duty is multiplying into peppermint-striped hordes under the taffy swamps and rock-candy mountains.

The film takes a unique take from the first scene – Ralph is clearly portrayed as the bad guy, but not all that bad.  But in addition, like in many of the Farrelly Brothers comedies, he’s given a reasonable motivation for his unpleasantness.  According to the games opening cut scene, he was ejected from his home (a stump in the forest) in order to build the residential edifice at which he daily expresses his dissatisfaction.  The theme of the film is clearly about the upsides and downsides trying to be more than you were literally created to be – Ralph’s desire is honest, but like Vanellope’s, runs the risk of hurting many others.  The ecology of the game world has a bit of an edge as well – the idea of homeless videogame characters gets a laugh, but it’s an uncomfortable laugh for the parents.

You’ve already heard about the cameos.  Like the aforementioned Roger Rabbit, the film had gained great buzz by arranging cameos from scads of classic videogames and characters, including the combatants from Street Fighter, the cast of Pac-Man, and, The Kid’s personal favorite, Sonic The Hedgehog. Lesser-known games like Burger Time and Tapper make an appearance, the latter being the popular after-hours hang-out of the gaming world.  Like the appearance of actual toys in Toy Story, they give the world a sense of verisimilitude and realism, as well as provide for plugs of lots of classic games. Not to mention a few new ones.  As part of Sonic’s appearance, Ralph will be appearing in Sonic’s new game, Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed.  Even the legendary Konami Super-Code appears in the game.  No child of the 80s can sit through those scenes of Dig-Dug diving into the floor of the game station without being gobsmacked by nostalgia.

But in addition to the cameos the Disney creators do a great job of creating games that have the real look and feel of real games from various gaming eras.  Fix-It Felix Jr. is a game in the Donkey Kong / Crazy Climber mold, and and first look, it looks fun enough to want to play for real (and you can, at the film’s website, as well as Hero’s Duty and Sugar Rush). Hero’s Duty is a parody of modern first-person shooters like Halo, and Calhoun is clearly a kissing cousin of “Fem-Shep” from Mass Effect.  Sugar Rush also parodies the recent tactic of product placements in video games, by having actual product placements.  Felix and Calhoun almost meet their end in Nestle Quik-sand, are saved by Laffy Taffy, and while the boiling “diet cola” lake may be generic, the stalactites of Mentos above it are decidedly not.

The quality of the film can be best explained by an error of The Wife’s – when she saw the level of humor and clearly rich plot, she mistakenly assumed it was a Pixar release.  High praise indeed, and praise that Disney has worked hard to obtain.  The last few Disney releases have been quite a step up from a recent period of repetition, and that’s a good thing.

Nintendo Wii U digital promotion offers benefits for Deluxe owners

  • News
  • November 2, 2012

The Nintendo Wii U Deluxe Set, listing at 349.99, is already sold out before its release on the 18th

Nintendo of America today announced a benefits incentive program for purchasers of its new [[[Nintendo Wii U Deluxe Set]]].  By signing up with their Club Nintendowebsite and registering their system purchase, users will receive a ten percent “points rebate” on purchases of WII U made through the Nintendo e-Shop.  In addition, for each five hundred points earned in this fashion, users will receive a five dollar credit on future purchases in the eShop.

Club Nintendo allows users to earn points by registering their Nintendo purchases, and by taking brief surveys about the reasons for purchase and opinions on gameplay.  The points can be redeemed for downloadable games or collectible accessories.  High points earners are also eligible for rarer limited-edition items, made available for free.

This is the latest in a series of promotions intended to drive business to the Nintendo eShop. The release of [[[New Super Mario Bros 2]]] for the 3DS offered a 50 point Club Nintendo bonus for buying the downloadable version of the game.  Another promotion running now allows users to receive a free downloadable game with the purchase of one of a select set of new releases for the 3DS.  Nintendo does not offer their downloadable games at a discount over the store-bought versions, which makes them far more profitable to the company – while saving money on printing and shipping of physical media, they also receive the full price of the game, not just the wholesale price made if sold to a retail store.  It also eliminates the resale market – the downloaded games cannot be sold back to a store, and can only be transferred from one system to another a limited number of times. Special offers like this are clearly intended to make the digital purchase more appealing to the user.

With this offer, a fifty dollar or higher game would effectively earn an immediate five dollar rebate towards further eShop purchases. However, the final list of Wii U games available through the eShop has not yet been revealed; only four retail games have been announced so far, including NintendoLand, which already comes with the Deluxe Set.  Nintendo customer service reps have stated it will include their both “full-size” retail releases like New Mario Bros Wii U, as well as many smaller games at lower price points.  Their retail games are delivered on a DVD, which holds up to 4.2 GB of data. It’s almost certain most of their releases do not fill those discs to bursting; if they did, only about 8 retail games could be stored on the system’s 32GB internal storage. The system does support additional storage via SDHC cards, and while external hard drive support has been reported, no details are available.  So at the moment, the viability of downloading a high number of their retail games is questionable, rendering the ability to truly take advantage of the promotion somewhat limited.

 The  Wii U Deluxe Set retails for 349.99, but is already sold out via pre-sale, and like many new systems, is commanding usurious prices via ebay and other secondary markets. It features, for an additional fifty dollars over the basic system, an extra 16 GB of storage, the game Nintendo Land, and additional accessories including  a  charging cradle for the new Wii U Game Pad.

While the promotion begins officially in December, all Wii U purchases made starting on the day of release (Nov. 18th) will qualify. Details on the promotion are being made available at the Nintendo site at http://ddp.nintendo.com/

What does the Disney / Lucasfilm purchase really mean?

  • News
  • October 31, 2012

OK, you’ve already heard the news.  The final selling price…well, more wealth than YOU can imagine!

Slowly but surely, intellectual property is flowing into larger lumps, eerily mimicking the actions of the country’s banks.  The WWE owns the assets of its former major (only) competitor, WCW. Dreamworks owns Classic Media, which means it controls a massive library of classic animation and TV, including Jay Ward and Harveytoons.   Disney now controls its own properties, the Muppets, Marvel Comics and now Lucasfilm.  They also finally got back the rights of one of Walt’s earliest creations, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, which he had done for Walter Lantz.  He’s now starring in their [[[Epic Mickey]]] video games, and now that they own him outright, I’m sure there are plans for using him as well.

If there’s one thing Disney is good at, it’s finding innovative ways to use and market its properties.  In addition to the promised new Star Wars film in 2015 (get in line now!) I expect they already have a full list of plans to execute. Here are our predictions… (more…)

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