Friday Night Fights: Man Vs. Machine!
It’s gonna be another knock-down drag out fight! Tonight, on Friday Night Fights, we have a full card for your blood lust… er… pleasure! Tonight it’s the long debated nerd battle to end all battles. Tonight we open the arena to answer the age old question… with no holds barred, and the time stream wide open, we bring you the fracas between Man and Machine! Will the Artificial Intelligence beat Homo-Sapiens back to the stone age? Will the human rebellion crush the bots under there beer fueled boots of glory? Will you consider buying a tee shirt at the concession stand so we can pay for the mess you all made at last weeks battle?!
Round One: The Manly Battle for All Time!
In our first bout, we pit two time traveling tusslers against one another. If you’ll move your attention to the entrance ramp, our first combatant is riding to the ring! Weighing in a solid 185 pounds… standing at 6 ft and ½ inches tall (in current time, of course)… wearing the gloomy military fatigues, carrying an M-4 Carbine with a look of determination on his grizzled face… He sent his own father back in time to conceive himself (The Novikov self-consistency principle, duh)… He’s known as the Rebellion Rabble-Rouser! The Clobberin’ Commando! The Terminator Trasher himself… John Connor!
And his opponent, making his way to the ring in the glowing time sphere… Wearing the snazzy red and green Time Suit, and sporting a mighty thick time-beard… He’s gone back in time to save his own father from the future, and in turn saved 52 parallel universes (ok, not 52 exactly, but who’s counting?)! He’s known throughout the land as the Linear Linebaker… the Fightin’ Forgotten Hero… the Zero-Hour-Man-of-Power… Introducing the Time Master himself… Rip Hunter!
This battle will be a clean fight, with free reign to use any time altering technology available to each combatant. Come out, shake hands, and let the battle begin! Oh… it seems they both went back in time before I started this introduction… Well, I’ll shut up now and let them continue pummeling each other.
Round Two… our main event: The Megabyte Dog-Fight!
Lowering from the sky comes our first combatant. Being represented by it’s army of Gubernatorial T-800’s, Liquidous T-1000’s, and Needlessly Sexxy T-X’s…It’s known the world round as the Self-Aware Super Computer bent on the destruction of you, our viewing audience! Please put your hands together, and quickly line up for obliteration for Skynet!
Coming in from the other corner of the sky comes Skynet’s opponent. Created by a wealthy orphan, fueled with hate by a low-level psychic, and represented by an army of it’s own viral-laden nanotech super soldiers. With the big-red-eye of doom, and a plethora of mohawks, please get out of the killing lines of Skynet, and in an orderly fashion get into it’s line for re-vaccination for Brother Eye!
If any of you survive this massive battle of awesome alloys, we’d sincerely appreciate if you leap off a cliff vote below for the winners of each bout. Bonus points for those who avoid capture.
Truth time, FOMAFers*, I found this webcomic a couple years late. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s still going… but I know out there in cyberspace, someone will snicker when they see this week’s choice. I can see them now, sipping a Brandy Alexander, puffing away on a grape cigarello. I can see them, and frankly, I hate them. Anyways, back to the topic at hand. On a recent tour of the internet (which seems to get bigger every day, I tell h’yew h’whut, I came across a comic that made me chuckle. I skimmed back across a few more strips, and more laughs fell from my mouth. Two hours later, I’d realized I forgot about addressing my save-the-dates with my fiance, and was promptly put in the dog house. Because I was in the dog house anyways, I cracked open a browser, and continued laughing until the wee hours of the morning. What made me laugh you ask? Why don’t I tell you… it’s the “
Welcome back to the article series you love to comment on (mainly because I yell out on facebook I’ll buy pizza and beer for those who comment), Webcomics You Should Be Reading! I’ve taken you, gentle reader, on a magic carpet ride through a tunnel of funny ranging from the macabre, the vulgar, the hyper-cute, to the thought-provoking-so-much-so-that-the-comment-string-ended-up-an-actual-debate. So, where do we go from there? How about we jump into the deep end of smarty-pants webcomics. That’s right, you guessed it. Dust off your mortar boards, and fire up dictionary.com… it’s time to read 
Howdy folks! We’re back here today to take a step into the post-modern… a step into the existential… a step into a parallel dimension. No, not the twilight zone. Today’s ‘Webcomic You Should Be Reading” is an experiment utilizing one of America’s most cherished cartoon characters. Who you ask? Why, it’s Jon Arbuckle, the would-be owner of an obese and lazy cat, named Garfield. We’re quite familiar with the Garfield strip, aren’t we? Since 1978, the world has been privvy to the the misadventures of this lazy fat cat and his awkward geek of an owner. Years later, an Irishman (Dan Walsh) took an idea shared by many, and gave it birth in webcomic form. Mr. Walsh graced the interwebs with 
I’m back, my gentle compatriots, with another webcomic for you to feast upon! I know what all of you are saying though, as you sit with arms folded in protest– ”But Marc, you’ve brought to us a rising list of the sick and macabre! Each new webcomic (be it still active, or dead, or with a glorious hard cover archive hitting shelves) has sunk to new depths of depravity. Have you found another gloriously funny webcomic, or are you simply reaching for the rafters in a pathetic attempt to appease us, your loyal and ravenous fanbase!?”
