Michael Davis: Your Comics Suck
When I was a kid, comics were all I thought about. There was no better time in my day than when I was finished all my crap schoolwork and was able to turn my attention to the Fantastic Four, Spider-Man or Batman
I was a child of DC but soon I was just as vested in Marvel as I was in DC. I remember when Kirby left Marvel to do the Fourth World books at DC. That to me at the time was as big a deal as Obama becoming the first black President is now.
Really.
Kirby coming to DC was Huge. I’ll never forget when I got my first issue of the Forever People and saw Kirby’s Here on the cover.
Comics golden age for me was the second silver age. That second silver age was Walt Simonson’s Thor, Howard Chaykin’s American Flagg!, Frank Miller’s Daredevil, Marvel’s Secret Wars, The Killing Joke, the Dark Knight, The Watchmen and about another dozen or so titles.
I freely admit that I’m biased in my thinking about comics and what’s important and what’s not. I also freely admit that I have no right nor do have any influence over what you may think.
But…
In my day I think comics were better than they are today.
That’s my opinion and I’m welcome to it but consider the following before you dismiss me, are you tired of new universes and new number ones?
In my day a number one was the Holy Grail of the comic book world.
Now?
New number ones are as common as a new Kardashian lover and just as relevant.
While I’m on the subject, Kim Kardashian has no talent and contributes nothing to the world, yet millions of people hang on her every stupid move. Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing but respect for her milking America for millions of dollars when she has no value whatsoever.
That’s not a joke, I respect anyone who can figure out a way to milk millions from people with absolutely no talent or value. Again I’m not kidding I respect that kind of moxey.
But…
Come the (bad word here) on, what does she or her family contribute except some of them have really nice tits? Oh and yes, I’d hit that but that’s beside the point. She and her family really have no significance in the real world.
Comics on the other hand do have significance in the real world.
How so you ask?
A hundred years from now Superman will still be relevant. Kim? She may not be relevant in two years. I know this for sure because America has a way of waking up to bullshit. It may take a moment but soon perhaps very soon the country and world will see that the Emperor (Empress?) has no clothes.
How do I know this for sure? Two words: Paris Hilton.
But I digress (thinking about you, Peter). I maintain that the comics in my day were better than the comics today and what follows are my admittedly flawed arguments.
When ever a comic universe goes to a new number one that erases the vast history of what was gone before. It’s a ‘do over’ and a ‘screw you’ to fans that loved the universe at the same time. When Marvel did Secret Wars and DC did Crisis those were really massive events but they were not do overs or a screw you to fans. Those were events that changed the universe not events that discarded the universe.
They were also the kind of events you talked about for years because they really were events.
Now an event is talked about until the next event, two, three weeks later.
B L A M!! R I M S H O T !! I’m here all week! Try the veal! Herman Cain, try the watermelon!
When Marv Wolfman killed Barry Allen (something to this day I have not forgiven him for) I felt that lost. When Stan Lee killed Gwen Stacy I felt I had lost a girlfriend. Now these sort of deaths are commonplace and it my humble opinion it’s because of Superman.
When Superman “died” no one and I mean no one in the comic book world thought for a second he was really dead. The only people who thought he was really dead were the suckers who brought 50 copies thinking one day they would be worth millions.
BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
If you can kill the most important superhero in the history of the industry then everything and I mean everything is fair game.
But…
That fair game seems to be monthly now. When DC killed Superman it, at the time, was a bold move designed to boost the icon’s lagging sales. Now characters dying, coming out of the closet, going over to the dark side, etc. is no longer an event it’s as common as the Cubs not making the World Series. The Cubs suck; that’s why they don’t make the series. Comic book creators don’t suck; comic book creators are better than the bullshit event like Archie kissing a black girl.
What the heck was that anyway? Archie Andrews pulling a black girl? Talk about imaginary stories.
Yes, I’m quite aware that the audience today is not me. Yes, there are books being done today that quite frankly are works of art and literary genius. Yes, some books today have transcended comics, TV and film and become part of what fuels movements.
But…
Forget all of that. In my day comics were better and that is that.
Bottom line your comics suck and mine don’t.
So there.
WEDNESDAY: Mike Gold Babbles On and On…
Pretty much agree with everything you said here at least with the point you make.
However, Stan Lee wasn’t writing or editing Spider-Man when Gwen Stacy died.
I don’t remember who the editor was but Gerry Conway was the writer. I remember reading that Stan found out after the issue was published and was not happy.
Martha Thomases wrote a very enlightening article on this site about how the Death of Superman was conceived to delay the wedding of Lois and Clark in the comics so that the event would correspond to the wedding on the TV show. Now of course they are not married and Superman is smooching Wonder Woman. And I’m not reading Superman anymore.
All good points George. However, Stan Lee will always be the man who killed Gwen. Regardless of what really happened so there.
As I heard, Stan didn’t object to Gwen death so much as he objected to having Peter’s actions result in her death. Originally, Peter catching her by the heels with a web caused her back to snap thus adding another layer of guilt to Spidey’s life. I think some reprints of the issue actually took the snapping noise out. That’s the story I got from a prominent artist back in the early 90’s when I worked at a comic shop. Like all comic store gossip, it could be complete shit. Stan has later gone on to say that it might have been the whiplash that did it.
Regardless, I’m with you. I think her death was unnecessary, and indicative of the fact that comic writers seem unable to deal with successful realistic relationships for any sustained period of time. It’s no wonder comic geeks have a reputation for being socially awkward.
Malcolm,
They did take the ‘snap’ out in reprints and they tried to clean it up later when the Green Goblin said. “She was dead before you caught her” or something to that affect. I was a kid when I read that but I clearly remember thinking, ‘how could the Goblin know that?’
Peter Parker snapped her neck when he caught her and that’s what killed her.
Damn him, damn him..DAMN HIM!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
*Laugh* Great article! So a question for you, for those who truly want to make the industry better, how do they capture the essence of yesteryear and create that kind of energy again? (although the saying is “you can never go home again”)
how do they capture the essence of yesteryear and create that kind of energy again?
Focus on story rather than event. Have a greater number of single-issue stories rather than “writing for the trades”.
Mark,
Here’s what I would do, lets take Spider-man for instance.
1. Peter Parker wakes up and the last 30 years was a dream.
Nuff, said.
I didn\’t even know you had a lawn to tell kids to get off of.
Officially, it’s a lawn. Unofficially it’s a barren wasteland and my gardener hates me.
I think Dan Parent is doing some of the most exciting comics around over at Archie. Some of it is gimmick stuff. But Archie MEETS KISS! That’s GENIUS! That makes me want to Rock and Roll all night, and part of every day. Even Archie meets George Takei is deliciously silly. Oh my! Kevin Keller was THE big story in comics a couple years ago. And Parent didn’t let that be just a rip off gimmick. Kevin Keller has become part of the gang. Even the Archie/Vallerie romance was clever and cute.
Russ,
I’ll have to take a look at the books you are talking about. That said, I still don’t like the thought of Archie locking lips with anyone besides Betty!
Despite my anticipation, i was pretty much disappointed in Kirby’s work for DC. Especially “Jimmie Olsen and the Newsboy Legion”.
Mike,
Jack was doing up to 10 pages a day I’m told. That’s called called by some ‘The Kirby Barrier.’ I’m sure some of his work suffered a bit because of that but 90% in my humble opinion was still some of the bestwork being done at the time and holds up today if you ask me.
I don’t think the comics were better then, so much as the best comics used to involve the superstar characters. Now days, the best comics seem to be independent books or characters not tied to the bigger universes. It used to be the best writers wrote their best stuff for the best characters. Now they save it for the creator owned stuff. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Well said Todd.