The Snark Files: Marvel’s Newest Team
Our dear friends at Marvel decided to share a little cryptic image… and you know how much we love cryptic images. So, let’s take a look at it, and see if we can guess what’s going on here.
- Well right off the bat, the headline reads “All new. All different.” And the ‘T’ in different is a sword. It’s obvious to us that this means that this new team, for the first time in marvel history, will consist of members permanently on fire.
- Front and center we see Warpath is his old costume, as opposed to his black and silver X-Force: Pointy Things Kill People costume. Last time we checked wikipedia, it seems Warpath left the team because he “was finally at peace”… Our guess, Warpath wasn’t at peace, he just was holding out for a team without Wolverine.
- Behind Warpath is Banshee, who as you’ll recall, has never been cool. Wikipedia said Cyclops eye-beamed him off Utopia at the end of the last X-men mini series we didn’t care about. Looks like Banshee’s back… And with it, there’s goes the sales.
- Behind Banshee are a collection of Multiple Men. Using both the newer costume and the “body sock” 90’s costume… we can only assume Marvel ran out of characters to put on teams… so why not fill out the ranks with Multiple Men! It worked in the 90s, and it’ll work now, damn it.
- To the right of Banshee, Multiple Man and Warpath are … uhh… some women. On fire. They’re in v-neck tunics, top coats, and skirts. Our guess? It’s Firestar and Frankie Raye. Why? They’re the only fire-type girls we know, except for Jean Gray. And we’re pretty sure she’s dead this week.
- We also note that all these folks are sporting glowing red eyes. This could mean they’re being mind-controlled, have all developed Cyclops-like eye beams, or that they’ve forgotten their Visene.
- The term “All New. All Different.” is generally associated with the X-Men. Look, we admit we bailed on the X-Men when we heard they were fighting vampires… but when your new team is 4/5ths Multiple Man, and Banshee? Why not close the deal, and add some of our favorite members… Doctor Nemesis, Dust, and No-Girl (a literal brain in a jar.)
- At the bottom of the image, it declare a street date of December 2010. Oh! We got it. It’s the Marvel Character end-of-the-year Fire Sale! Get any of these characters for your own project before they’re shipped off to Marvel Island. That’s right kids, Marvel Island™, where a licensee can go to quietly die until Bendis wants them on the Avengers.
Do you have any ideas? If so, post em’ below… because lord knows we ain’t gotta clue.
So a lot of the X-Men are becoming vampires and at the same time some of them are coming back from the dead. in what looks like a very sinister manner.
Between Punisher becoming a franken-castle and now this I’m not really liking the possible trend of things becoming more monster oriented at Marvel.
“All new, all different” just like the 8,000 other all new and all different X-Men events. X-Men hasn’t been good since like 83, and it was marginal even then. If not for the fact that many creators grew up reading them, they probably wouldn’t still have books after the ridiculous early 90s stories.
So a lot of the X-Men are becoming vampires and at the same time some of them are coming back from the dead. in what looks like a very sinister manner. Between Punisher becoming a franken-castle and now this I'm not really liking the possible trend of things becoming more monster oriented at Marvel.
"All new, all different" just like the 8,000 other all new and all different X-Men events. X-Men hasn't been good since like 83, and it was marginal even then. If not for the fact that many creators grew up reading them, they probably wouldn't still have books after the ridiculous early 90s stories.
I hope that X-Factor is safe….
Honestly, I think it would be a hoot and a half to see Jamie confronted by resurrected dupes who fell in the line of duty–it would be a nice twist to the troubles he’s been having with his dupes since the current run of X-Factor began.
I hope that X-Factor is safe….
Honestly, I think it would be a hoot and a half to see Jamie confronted by resurrected dupes who fell in the line of duty–it would be a nice twist to the troubles he’s been having with his dupes since the current run of X-Factor began.
I hope that X-Factor is safe….
Honestly, I think it would be a hoot and a half to see Jamie confronted by resurrected dupes who fell in the line of duty–it would be a nice twist to the troubles he's been having with his dupes since the current run of X-Factor began.
This looks like a black lantern riff to me. That’s the original Warpath (dead), Banshee (dead), multiple man dupes (dead), and if I’m not mistaken could that be two of the cuckoos (dead). All we need is a resurected phoenix…oh wait…that’s fire and glowing red eyes isn’t it?Looks like the brightest black lantern ex-x-men to me.
This looks like a black lantern riff to me. That’s the original Warpath (dead), Banshee (dead), multiple man dupes (dead), and if I’m not mistaken could that be two of the cuckoos (dead). All we need is a resurected phoenix…oh wait…that’s fire and glowing red eyes isn’t it?
Looks like the brightest black lantern ex-x-men to me.
This looks like a black lantern riff to me. That's the original Warpath (dead), Banshee (dead), multiple man dupes (dead), and if I'm not mistaken could that be two of the cuckoos (dead). All we need is a resurected phoenix…oh wait…that's fire and glowing red eyes isn't it?Looks like the brightest black lantern ex-x-men to me.