DC Unveils White Lantern Batman

So, this afternoon, we decided to check in at DC’s blog, the Source, and what would we find? Why a few Brightest Day solicits for November. Given how much we love spoilers, we couldn’t click fast enough. And what were we greeted with? Why a David Finch painting of what appears to White Lantern Batman. We couldn’t help ourselves kids, so… here’s a few fleeting thoughts:

• Gotham City’s criminal underbelly quivers with fear as Marvel’s Murdering Bat-Wannabe Moon Knight moves to town.
• Upon returning to the Bat-Cave, Alfred will quip “I’ll go fetch more bleach from the store, Master Bruce.”
• Well, Bruce has been a Green Lantern (for an Elseworlds tale, and like 3 panels in GL), a Yellow Lantern (for a panel), and a Black Lantern (for several panels!)… why not continue to try on another Lantern costumes for a minute or two?
• The utility belt will now contain Mint Mentos, Peppermint Tic-Tacs, and another incredibly large gas powered zip line launcher than can’t possibly fit on the belt.
• We’re pretty sure this is Bruce, cause last time we checked, Dick Grayson’s forearm veins weren’t thick enough to show through kevlar-lined gloves like Bruce’s do. Bruce uses shake weights.
• After seeing this costume change, all Robins breathe a sigh of relief, because finally they won’t be the easy one to spot in the shadows.
• In case you were wondering… White Lantern Batman can still beat Superman, if he so chooses.
• Upon seeing the White Lantern Batman, the Joker will become confused, and cause a real faux-pas by robbing the 2nd National Bank of Gotham in blackface.
• Given that we’re pretty good at deciphering solicit text now… it’s safe to assume White Lantern Batman will be seen in a single panel, and then we’ll have to move on to the next story in Brightest Day, which is subsequently also 1 panel. Hey, give DC a break, it’s not easy juggling 17 C-listers in a book that prints every other week.
• Mark Millar is already filing a lawsuit on behalf of “Nemesis”… but don’t worry, no one reads it.
• White Lantern Batman will have the power to make you forget most of the weird crap Grant Morrison has come up with for the character in the last few years.
• Subsequently, Grant Morrison will have a really cool way to ret-con the White Lantern Batman story in his 2017 run on Batman, tentatively titled “Batman Sorta Dies Again, because we need to sell more Bat-books this month.”