Friday Night Fights: Scott Pilgrim Vs. Mario
With the debut of Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World hitting theaters, and all you Pilgrimites having just polished off the final chapter of Brian Lee O’Malley’s Volume 6: Scott Pilgrim’s Finest Hour… we here at ComicMix thought we might pit the titular teenage hero against a foe with a heart just as big as his own. While Scott had to defeat the seven deadly exes in order to win the heart of his beloved Ramona, Mario has been saving the crap outta his beau, Princess Toadstool, for over 20 years. Furthermore, the pudgy plumber has gone so far to defeat children (children holding magic wands mind you…), conquer the third dimension, and then race to the death in go-karts for his girl. And come to think of it, has anyone ever seen Princess Toadstool give Mario more than a kiss and and P-Wing for his efforts? I mean, I’ve not seen the movie yet, but it seems like Ramona is willing to get Scott to at least second base for his troubles!
As we know, in the real world, Scott Pilgrim is best portrayed by Michael Cera. Once a frozen banana selling salesman on a show only 17 of us watched on Fox. Sure, later he went on to play a completely different totally similar group of sarcastic whining indie cred building everykids… but is that enough? Because, we, the oldest of the old school Gen-Xers shall never forget the classic abomination that was Super Mario Bros. And in that, ahem, film, our dearest Mario was played by none other than Bob Hoskins. And if Bob Hoskins reps ole’ Mario Mario… what chance does Cera have?
So, let’s put these two lovebirds in a cage match. Who’s the beau with the bigger heart? Who’s the dude with the softer soul? Which forlorn fighter will fend off his foe first? Will it be Scott Pilgrim, who’s fueled by teenage angst, wields a mighty 4-string bass attack, and is powered by today’s generation of hip cats? Or will Mario, Italian-by-way-of-Miyamoto, the mascot of a generation, pound poor Scott with his brick-breaking-white-gloved fists of fury? Will Scott’s Sex-Bob-Omb backup their bassman in battle, or will Mario’s cavalcade of cartoon cohorts overpower the Emo-Elite. Only you, the ComicMix nation can decide. Let us know who takes home the 1-Up in the comments below.
Ding Ding Ding!