DC Releases Yet Another ‘Poster d’Indications’

Here’s this author’s take on what we’re seeing here:

• In the foreground Deadman is carving “Rise” into a tombstone. This is indicative of his desire for Tombstone Pizza to finally deliver a self rising crust pizza in the DCU.
• Behind him the new Blacqualad is using his water powers to make a sword, which in turn has destroyed Blue Devil’s Black Manta’s Bi-Dent. Speculation here dictates that Blacqualad is actually the son of Black Manta, and he’s punishing daddy for missing all those birthdays.
• Behind him, we see the Martian Manhunter finally getting over his fear of fire. No one told him that “Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires” though… so, he’s practicing by igniting that weird tree in Star City’s forest. Oh well, no one likes Ollie these days anyways.
• In the clouds above we see The Anti-Monitor doing his best impression of Mufasa… gently telling the DCU to avenge his death. His suggestion? Bring back H.U.R.R.I.C.A.N.E.
• Front and center, Hal “We knew he was gonna be the White Lantern all along” takes a nap in his new designer day-bed.
• Behind Unky Hal flies DC’s newest comedy duo, Guy Gardner and Atrocitus with their pal Ganthet, constructing some crazy structure. Look out, as Guy, Ganthet, and Atrocitus launch their ongoing series, “2 Lanterns, a Monster, and a Pizza Place“, this Fall!
• Rounding our way down we see a mystical purple stargate with some Hawkpeople flying out. This of course denotes Tim Truman’s return to the world he started, as DC launches the first great winter crossover: Final Hawkworld Crisis on Infinite Brightest Night!
• Hawk and Dove carry a lifeless Jade. Why? Well, it turns out no one cared about her being resurrected. Or killed for that matter. Where’s Kyle Rayner when you need him?
• Continuing in our counter-clockwise circle around this happy little poster, we join Ebony and Ivory, err, Jason and Ronnie as they try to bury Black Lantern Firestorm… who they accidentally killed at a frat party the night before. Here’s a tip boys… don’t dare the Black Lantern to do Irish Car Bombs after he’s turned the Baily’s into arsenic.
• And finally we end on that lovable married couple, Mera and Dead Aquaman. Get ready for all the love, laughter, and a few hair-brained schemes, as the DC’s first couple of the sea prepare for their upcoming mini-series: “So I Sleep With the Fishes!“. Written by Neil Gaiman, with art by Art Baltazar and Franco.

So kids, got any theories yourselves? Lay em’ on us in the comments below!