Countdown Breakdown: An Illustrated Guide to DC’s ‘Final Crisis’ – Part 1
Hello there, folks. So the first issue of DC’s latest mega-event, Final Crisis, hit shelves last month and the second issue is out this week. The series features a story by one of the greatest writers in the industry, Grant Morrison, as well as one of the best artists in comics these days, J.G. Jones.
So far it’s a great read, in my opinion, and fairly accessible to anyone who doesn’t mind waiting for all of the answers to the questions it raises.
Still, some of you might be wondering, "Should I have read Countdown and the various other miniseries that were intended to lead up to this mega-event?"
Well, maybe you already know about Anthro, the first human of the DC Earth. And maybe you’re aware of Kamandi, the blonde-haired teen who lives in a possible future where he is the last human boy on an Earth ruled by animals. But what about this "war in heaven" that folks are talking about?
And what’s this about a parallel Earth being destroyed?
Well, look no further! I’m here to give you a recap of some of the major Crisis-related happenings over this past year to get you caught up to speed.
First, some backstory: A long time ago, there was "The Monitor," this guy who was sort of simian-looking but had really cool technology. It was his job to watch over the main DC Universe (and a few others). But then he died during The Crisis On Infinite Earths.
A few years ago, the events of Infinite Crisis caused 51 parallel versions of the DC Earth to be created and the birth of 52 new Monitors. Each Monitor was assigned to watch over a single universe (sort of like having a pet, except you can’t play with it too much).
Countdown really kicked off when the New Gods began dying. The New Gods are basically extra-dimensional, near immortal beings who wear bizarre outfits, have weird names and live on the planets New Genesis and Apokolips.
The first death was Lightray, who fell from the sky and crashed in Metropolis, whispering the word "infinite" before he died. Since Lightray was kind of lame, no one cared much. And you can be sure that the Green Lantern Corps didn’t freak out over this case of deicide and cordon off the entire planet as a crime scene, no sir!
Now, Solomon, the Monitor of Earth-8, decided he was going to try to become the "Omni-Monitor" with power over the entire multiverse. He put some things into motion, such as turning the hero Captain Atom into the villain Monarch.
Darkseid, ruler of the evil New Gods, had his own plans to take over the multiverse. So he and Solomon not only plotted against each other, they also played chess with pieces that were carved to look like heroes and villains they were manipulating.
… Which begs the question, where did they get that nifty chess set?
Clearly, faithful ComicMix readers, we must conclude that Darkseid the Destroyer enjoys whittling in his spare time and making chess pieces and dolls based on his friends and enemies. And that just makes him even scarier, don’t you think?
I mean, just imagine:
DARKSEID: Oak is so gentle … So soothing …
*shudder*
Well, Solomon’s plans didn’t work out and before he knew it, Monarch brought an army to take out the Monitors, with Earth-51 as the battlefield. The war was joined by Superboy Prime (basically a whiney fanboy with Kryptonian powers) and that whole universe ended up nuked in the end.
This did not look great for its Monitor, the pony-tailed Nix Uotan. He recreated Earth-51, but then Karate Kid accidentally unleashed a virus that turned almost all the human population into animal people. Having failed not once but twice to protect his Earth, Nix was definitely in trouble with the other Monitors.
While all of this was going on, Darkseid’s torturer Desaad (get it?!) started messing with the Flash villains Trickster and Pied Piper. It was all part of a convoluted scheme to learn the Anti-Life Equation, a formula that destroys free will.
But when Trickster was killed, Piper got ticked off and used his special flute to blow up Desaad’s head. Then he took it a step further and blew up most of Apokolips itself, which just proves that the guy rocks harder than AC/DC and Black Sabbath COMBINED!
After this, Piper decided he was gonna be a good guy, which shouldn’t be a stretch since that’s what he had been until just a couple of years ago anyway.
Oh, and before we forget …
Somehow, during the chaos, Brother Eye (the evil A.I. satellite that Batman created and which birthed the hero-killing OMACs) showed up and integrated itself with Apokolips.
So Piper then blew up the planet before Brother Eye could accomplish anything, making this plot point pretty moot.
Okay, got all of that? This is probably a good time for an intermission, so come back tomorrow for the second half of my "Countdown Breakdown" here on ComicMix.
In Part Two, it’s New God hippies, pimpin’ rides and the science of "soul-catching!"
The first issue of Final Crisis is on shelves now, with the second issue arriving this week from DC Comics. Be sure to read Van Jensen’s review of Final Crisis #1 here on ComicMix.
Alan Kistler has been recognized by Warner Bros. Pictures and mainstream media outlets as a comic book historian, and can be seen in the "Special Features" sections of the Adventures of Aquaman and Justice League: New Frontier DVDs. His personal website can be found at: www.KistlerUniverse.com.
All sketches courtesy of Alan Kistler, who is also an artist, apparently.
Oh man I loved this. Especially the pictures to help me follow along.If DC would print something like this to help people keep track of what was going on during these big summer megaseries, maybe all their executives wouldn't be getting the axe.Great work!
Thanks, man. I'm a big fan of visual aids.And really, I wanted to emphasize the fact that Countdown could've happened in six issues or seven issues max. I mean, honestly, look at this.
If you can't summarize the concept in a sentence or two it won't sell. Civil War sums it up in two words. But "Superheroes choose side to reigester with the government or not" is a good example.
Completely with you on that.I mean, what is the unifying theme of this? "The New Gods are nuts"?
Darkseid does not whittle.Darkseid uses the anti-life equation to make the parts of the wood he does not need vanish, leaving behind a perfect, full-articulated Batman chess piece.
On the base of the figurine it should read "Made in New China".I think DC should market them as collectibles. They could sell a mother box load of them.
Who is this, because that idea is HILARIOUS.
Thanks, Alan. This is very helpful and funny. Nice illustrations too!
Glad to oblige.
Hi Alan,Any chance of changing the column name to something more original? I actually used Countdown Breakdown as my own column title over at Comics Bulletin for my weekly breakdown of each character and location in the weekly Countdown series!Thanks!John Hays
John,As I mentioned to you already in another forum, this isn't a column. It's a two-part feature that breaks down DC's "Countdown" event – hence the "Countdown Breakdown" portion of the headline. It's not intended to be clever or original, but simply a statement regarding what a reader will find in the article. If your original column title was something less straightforward, such as "Catching Up With Countdown" or "Cracking the Countdown Code," I might understand your concern if we used the same phrase in our feature – but please take a look around ComicMix andyou'll see that we don't really "do" clever headlines.While I understand that you might be frustrated, please keep in mind that: A) Your column is no longer being published and hasn't been published for quite some time now; B) This feature was not a column or any sort of recurring feature similar in any way to your column; and C) It's quite unreasonable to expect a fairly straightforward phrase like "Countdown Breakdown" to be retired from use on the Internet for perpetuity.Feel free to email me if you have any other questions or concerns: rick [at] comicmix [dot] com
Let's turn this beef into a Win/Win situation. As far as I know, you can't copyright a title. The subtitle of Alan Kistler's piece should be enough to avoid confusion with Mr. Hays work. If this series becomes a regular feature of ComicMix (and I hope it does or something very much like it, Kistler's illustrated commentary is hilarious and unique), I suggest the title, "Kistler's Countdown Breakdown". It's alliterative, descriptive and you already have the Kistler caricature holding the sign! I'm surprised that nobody LINKED back to John Hays column. It is part of the Silver Soapbox at Comics Bulletin. One of the reasons Mr. Hays might be sensitive about his title is that the "Silver Soapbox" is a space shared by multiple columnists. And there is no way to tell from the archive of articles who wrote which column. Unless a columnist comes up with a unique distinguishing title, they are lost in the shuffle. Kelvin Green uses "Green Day:". So the best way to find John Hays' columns is to go to the Silver Soapbox Archive and search for "Countdown Breakdown." I suggest John Hays use a title like, "The Hays Code:", to distinguish his column from the others in the Silver Soapbox. And lets not worry if that title was used before. As far as I can tell, "Countdown Breakdown #14" (which is actually more like the 37th breakdown, because we're counting backwards) seems to be Mr. Hays most recent column. That was put up on February 1st. I'm not sure if Mr. Hays or Comics Bulletin lost interest in the Countdown Breakdown at that point, or what. Seems like there is more counting and breaking left to do. I wouldn't mind breaking down the Final Crisis!By the way, there are some very interesting articles hidden in the Silver Soapbox and on Comics Bulletin. Real gems. You have to do some digging. But there is some very funny, insightful and thought provoking stuff to be found. Comics Bulletin did a nice interview with ComicMix artist, Tim Truman, back in March. Comics Bulletin needs somebody to organize their archives and pages a bit better. You shouldn't have to guess which columnist wrote which article from the archive. And you shouldn't have to go back to the archive to find out when an article was written.It's just goes to show how much design, cataloging and ease of navigation go into the overall experience at a site. Thanks again to Brian Alvey and the ComicMix tech crew for do a great (and continually improving) job here.
If you and the readers would enjoy it, I would be happy to do regular illustrated guides to a variety of stories. Any suggestions on what I should tackle next?And as for the above remarks from Mr. Hays, I was completely unaware of a previous column called that since I don't personally read Comics Bulletin. But I think Rick says it all. It's not a column title, this isn't a column. It's a headline and it's the first thing that comes to mind because that's what it is. It's a breakdown of Countdown. It's like when we interview Grant Morrison we called it "Interview: Grant Morrison" cuz that's what it was. This article has already been up for over a week and no one has confused us, nor do I see how they could when the content is clearly different from each other.Sorry if you took it personally. I didn't mean to emulate/imitate anyone else nor do I really think I did, other than a coincidental opening headline.