I Want That! by Michael Davis

Michael Davis

Master Of The Universe, Lord Of All Media, Most Interesting Black Man In the World, Sexiest Man on Earth, Mentor, Writer, Artist, Producer & Uppity.

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11 Responses

  1. Cheryl Lynn says:

    That is too much funny too early in the morning.

  2. MARK WHEATLEY says:

    Actually – the problem that you have nailed here is that the message we send as a society by promoting this kind of coverage and attention to unbridled stupidity and instability is that being like Britney will be rewarded. Forget worry that kids will try to imitate these actions – because as you have illustrated so well – there are plenty of adults who might be wishing to jump on this too.And you are very funny – scary funny!

  3. Brian Alvey says:

    If you do manage to get pregnant, we should webcast your delivery room experience.

    • Michael Davis says:

      Oh really Brian?? Listen Mr. Man you BETTER live up to your responsibilities!! I will NOT raise this baby alone!!!

  4. Tony Isabella says:

    "I want people to stake out my house, I want people to hang on my every word as if every word I say has some magical power to grant three wishes. I want to be photographed a billion times when I’m drinking coffee at Starbucks as if that event was worth seeing on television over and over and over and over…and over."Sure, you say you want this, but…how do you explain that restraining order you took out against me? Love, Tony

    • Michael Davis says:

      Because Tony, I take out a restraining order against all cool ass people who pose a threat to me being the coolest person in the room. You, Tom Cruise, Justin Timberlake, George Clooney, Hugh Hefner, Prince, etc.Remember 200 feet buddy…

      • John Ostrander says:

        Justin Timberlake?! Why you even bother? Michael, you're way cooler than Timberlake!George Clooney, on the other hand. . .Nobody cooler than Clooney.Except maybe Denzel. Why don't you have restraining order on Denzel? Denzel wouldn't even have to be in the same room. Just on the same block. Yeah, you NEED a restraining order on Denzel re: coolness. Maybe Will Smith, too. Hey, who else does Michael need a restraining order against — present company excepted. Anybody else have any suggestions?

  5. Brian K. Morris says:

    This seriously hilarious article brings to mind the alleged magic potion that sent Britney into the place where they put the carpeting on the walls. Rumor has it that the drink of choice was a mixture of Vodka, NyQuil, and Red Bull (three grating tastes that taste great together) in a witches brew called a "Purple Monster." I see an opportunity!Listen, if I set up my stand in front of my house — forget that lemonade crap — do you think we could work out some cross-marketing venture? Like if you buy the two-liter sized bottle of Purple Monster (or I might rename it as a gourmet health drink … how does "Skanque" sound?), I could include a 10% discount coupon for the 8 ounce bottle of Ass Funk? And I promise to have all my bald, talentless, wide-eyed employees wear Ass Funk t-shirts.Hmm … get me Dr. Phil on the phone! I see some celebrity endorsement money that needs to find a new home! :D