MICHAEL DAVIS: The Emperor’s New Clothes

I don’t really have a subject for this week, which explains why I’m writing this on Thursday afternoon with a Friday morning deadline. Sorry, Mike. Nothing really ticked me off or got me excited this week. That’s an issue for me because when I took this gig I made a promise to keep it current and to always have a definitive point of view.

Well, what follows are some random thoughts that I may as well get off my chest. None of these things really warrant an entire column (yet) but they all have my interest,

Remember the story of the Emperor’s new clothes?  Well that seems to be what is going on with American Idol. Major newscasts like the Today Show (who made my greatest list last week) are all saying that this kid Sanjaya Malakar can’t sing.

HELLO!!!!!????

Even before America stared to vote this kid beat out thousands of other singers to make it to the show. Now everyone is saying he can’t sing. Why? Because one person said he could not sing after one bad performance and now everybody is saying it. What is up with people? People are just sheep! He is clearly not the best singer on the show, but the kid can sing. Why are people such sheep? Why, why, why?

Sheep, sheep, sheep!

In other random thoughts, in case anyone is interested I will be speaking at the Biola Media Conference April 21st at Biola University and at Cal State Northridge on April 23rd. Maybe the person who sent me the angry email will want to come down and heckle me.

What angry email? The angry email that I was sent in response to The Black Panel article I wrote. They told me “You are a Uncle Tom who does not care about Black People. We have a right to be represented and you should let any black person on the panel who wants to be there.” They also said that I was…” one of those uppity (N-word) who only dates white woman!” (My Asian lady loved that one.)

Well, fellow and or gal (I don’t know what you are because you sent the email anonymously – how brave, by the way), if you are feeling strong come on down and take your best shot. Hey wait. Why don’t you speak at the conference or at Northridge. I’m sure they will just let you walk in off the street and talk about your work or whatever you want to talk about. I mean you are entitled right? Wait! Now that I think about, it why don’t you just walk on to the Tonight Show? I’m sure they will just let you be a guest. Wait! What am I thinking?? Why doesn’t ABC just do a special on you? I mean you have certainly earned the right to have your own show right?  Wait, wait wait!!! Not a show –you deserve your own NETWORK!!! I mean why not? Wait, wait wait, wait, why don’t they just hand you your own galaxy? 

In any case, let me know if you are going to show up to either of those events I mentioned, I will have a ticket waiting.

Oh, wait, you won’t need a ticket. You are entitled.

In other random thoughts, Mike Richardson has finally green lit the scripting on a project I am doing for Dark Horse. It will be my first comic book project as a writer and illustrator in almost 15 years. Wow. That’s a long time. Truth be told, I have had no desire to draw a comic. I have been content to just be a deal maker and universe creator. It took years to get this project to where it is and I have to say that working with Mike is quite a trip. It’s great to work with Mike Richardson because he is truly a visionary and he has made this project better over the years with his insight. It’s also hard and can be a bit frustrating to work with Mike. He may be in L.A. one day then in Prague for the next month. And boy can he find things in your work that you should have seen but didn’t.

Darn show off.

All that said, Dark Horse does great books and makes great movies. I hope this project will be both.

Let’s see. What else? Well my birthday is on April 29. I’m looking forward to a gift from anonymous email writer. Maybe a book on what it means to be black. We can exchange gifts. I can get him/her a book on what it means to be responsible for your own actions. I’ll get it on audio book in case you skipped school because you thought the school should have come to you. You are entitled you know.

What else? What else? Oh here’s something. I’ve been asked to host a fundraiser for a front running presidential candidate. I won’t tell you who (not yet) but how cool would it be for a comic book guy to host a party for someone who may be the next president!?  We could get our own comic book lobby going!! But what am I thinking? Anonymous email guy/gal should be the host. I mean he/she is entitled.

Ok, what other random thoughts? Well I love Karaoke. There is a karaoke bar in Tarzana California that I go to. It’s called Corbin Bowl. I have managed to get quite a few movie, television, and comic book stars to go to this bar with me. You have not lived until you have seen Len Wein belt out “Total Eclipse Of The Heart.” I, on the other hand, sing only men songs like “Purple Rain.”

Now what else. Oh, I took my dog to the Vet a few days ago. He has a skin rash. It cost me $300.00 bucks to get some antibiotics to treat it. $300.00 dollars?

What is up with that? If you or I get a skin rash antibiotics don’t cost that kind of bank. Look I know there are people who love their pets and treat them like family but my dog is a pet and not a member of my family. I have two dogs, one a Pit/Boxer mix the other a Golden Retriever. Guess which one needs the antibiotics? Right, the Golden Retriever.

Punk ass little dog.

My Pit/Boxer would take a bullet and say “That all you got?” That’s a real dog. If the Golden Retriever ever gets another aliment, that damn dog better get a job or learn to talk. Before you ask,the Golden Retriever was given to me as a puppy and my first thought was to put it on E-Bay. I was talked out of it…then.

How should I end this short but sweet random thought column? I think on an up note! I met a very talented young lady at ComicCon last year by the name of Tatiana El-Khouri. I know that’s a mouthful. Let’s just call her Tatiana. This young lady has a great career ahead of her. She’s a triple threat-writer, designer and painter. She’s a graduate of Cal State Northridge in 2006. In less than a year she is already the web chair of the Society of Illustrators among other very impressive things. Damn that’s extraordinary. Mark my words – she is all that.

I promise to have something of substance next week. Until then- enjoy the holiday!

Wait one second!! Why don’t we get Anonymous email guy/gal their own holiday? They are entitled right?

Michael Davis is a comics creator and the founder of the Guardian Line series of comics as well as being a television producer and writer. He was a co-founder of Milestone Comics and his artwork has appeared in Wasteland, Green Arrow: Shado, Green Hornet and The Question, among others. Straight No Chaser normally appears on ComicMix.com on Fridays; this week is… special.