Sun Apr 5, 2009 8:27PM9 comments ›
Sun Apr 5, 2009 — by Marc Alan Fishman
Webcomics You Should Be Reading: "Kawaii Not"!
I admit it... On the outside, I look like a big meanie. The motorcycle boots, the wallet chain, the free flowing beard... Yeah, it sure looks like I'm one tough cookie. But on the inside, I'm a pile of cutesy goo. Like a Lisa Frank Folder, coated with extra glitter and scratch and sniff stickers abound (and we're talking 'Strawberry Shortcake' scratch and sniff here, not He-Man Masters of the Sniffing-verse). So, today, my inner me wants to share with all of you rabble-rousers a new webcomic to melt your heart. I mean... make you laugh.
Now, I'll assume right now that some of you are waiting for the big 180 here, where I reveal a vile and disgusting comic devoid of anything but blood drenched fists soaked in farts, swimming in a pool of poorly worded racial comedy. Perhaps I've found some horrible webcomic starring a rotting zombie who tells Vaudvillian jokes whilst deficating on children stricken with disease... Alas, it isn't true my BFF's... today, I bring to you a comic so cute, so lovable, you could very well sqwee and die: Kawaii Not.
Since whenever she started it (let's say 2007-2008'ish), Kawaii Not is the love child of cartoonist/illustrator Meghan Murphy. Taking the Japanese “Kawaii” (cute) concept to heart, with a dash of good old fashioned American sarcasm, and a pinch of “just evil enough to be funny”, Murphy makes a bi-weekly comic that follows a formula as simple as pie: A generous helping of saccharine sweet filling made of everyday objects betwixt a flaky crust of simple ha-ha's. What does that mean exactly? You get a cutesy-wootsie character who says something mildly evil enough to make you blurt out a laugh. It made me laugh. Did I mention my motorcycle boots have the bad-ass metal plate on the toe guard?
Ms. Murphy's site offers the complete archive of webcartoons alongside a heaping helping of free avatars. That she would be so generous as to share her wares with us so we can find the perfect avatar to represent out inner child (I personally can't decide between the “I'm long, fleshy, and not a hot dog” and “I look like Poop; Ice Cream” avatars myself) this author applauds the site for not only being hilarious, but for being so generous with the humor.
And now we take a trip down the Rainbow Road of Infinite Cute-Wooty-Wittleness:
• Smoricide
• When Waffles Don't Tell the Truth
• Alas, poor Cucumber... I knew him well.
• Click me, you pervs.
• I risk getting kicked in the nads for this, but men, is this not the truth or what?!
• Tomorrow is looking cloudy with a chance of hilarity.
• Put this on a shirt, and I'll buy 100 of them.
• If you didn't click the one above, click this, you skeevy pervs.
The Breakdown:
Drama: On occasion the strip will deal with terminal illness, incest, and rape. Wait, that's Law and Order: the Webcomic. Sorry folks... Kawaii not is just 4 panels of a love delivered twice a week.
Humor: Blend Lisa Frank, My Little Pony, a Gaggle of Giggling Japanese School Girls. Chill overnight. Pour into a tall pint glass and top with whipped cream, sprinkles (or Jimmie's if you're from out east), and 14 cherries. After ingesting, perform a dutch oven on your spouse. That is the humor of this strip.
Continuity: As a rogue scholar (as in, I mugged people outside taverns in college) I can conclude without a doubt that Kawaii Not is an epic journey of the subconscious through an alternative dimension where everyday objects celebrate their normalcy through 4 panel pictograms. In the end, it will save us all.
Art: See 'Humor' above, but perform the 'Dutch Oven' on a piece of pink construction paper. See that rainbow covered in glitter and sunshine? That is what the art is like. Great Japanese styled characterizations presented in a clean and happy site.
Archive: 246 strips, with 2 a week promised for the indefinite future. Enjoy!
Updates: Twice a week, per her FAQ.
Risk/Reward: Ok, here is the true debate. You risk your manhood (if you are a man) by visiting this site, and laughing out loud. Are the jokes deep? No. Are they going to make you smile? You damn straight they will. Peruse the archive (and if you're so inclined like my fiance, squeal with joy every 20 seconds when you open the next one.) and give it a go.
Now, if you would all excuse me, I need to go watch the Care Bears movie, make some cupcakes, and have a good cry.
Jump to comments (9) 
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Comments (9)
batmansgirl (10:24 PM on Sun Apr 5, 2009)
Oh these were so cute. Now I'm hooked.
Also, you're hotlinking the girl's banner and that's wrong.
http://altlab.com/hotlinking.html
Marc Alan Fishman (11:43 PM on Sun Apr 5, 2009)
Batman's Gal Pal: The creation of the article required I post up a graphic... I don't mean to steal Ms. Murphy's bandwidth, but I do hope by writing about her awesome comics, we might be "profit" for the sharing. Otherwise I'm sure my masters will smack me on the wrist and I'll figure a way out to not hotlink.
Russ Rogers (9:54 AM on Mon Apr 6, 2009)
Here's the way to "Not Hot Link the Banner." It takes a little more work. First you save the image. Go to http://www.kawaiinot.com/topbanner.gif (the one you hot-linked), you right click on it and choose "Save Image As..." (These are directions for a PC. On a Mac, do an Open-Apple Click). Once you've saved the image, contact Megan Murphy (meghan at kawaiinot.com) and say, "Hey Megan, I'm doing a review of Kawaii Not for ComicMix.com, can I use a copy of your Top Banner in my review?" Wait for Megan to respond. And I imagine her response to be not only positive but cute. Like, "A review of Kawaii Not! Ooh, that makes me all giggly-wiggly inside!" Then e-mail in your copy of your Top Banner along with your review. Hotlinking the banner not only steals a tiny bit of bandwidth from Kawaii Not, but it counts on Kawaii Not not crashing or Megan Murphy not replacing her banner with something porngraphic, like a puckered cutesy, smiling asshole saying, "Hey F***kers, Stop stealing my Bandwidth!" That might be an interesting April Fools gag.
There is a "Hello Kitty" store opening in the Mall of America in Minnesota. For most of you, that is an entirely theoretical and academic statement. But I actually shop there! I know I'm going to wander in. I'm going to say, "They want HOW MUCH? For THAT!" But I fear for my blood sugar levels. Can too much Saccharine give you diabetes too or does it just make you want to lose your lunch? At what dose dosage Saccharine become poisonous?
Oh, and here's the Kawaii Not at Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/dp/160...0610765?
I applaud Megan Murphy's sense of irony. The linking of the overly cute image with a slightly off-color concept (like stabity knife or ninja fart) can be funny. It's just the irony of it doesn't make up for my natural revulsion to the style. I'm not sure WHY I hate the "cutesy style" SO much. I can appreciate the Iconic Strengh of Sanrio. I still just mostly loathe it.
Andrea "Andie" Lieb (12:03 AM on Mon Apr 6, 2009)
These are so cute! Thanks for introducing me to it! :)
angillusion (8:52 AM on Mon Apr 6, 2009)
I adore Kawaii Not! It's exactly my sense of humor: adorable, yet vaguely disturbing.
Vinnie Bartilucci (10:54 AM on Mon Apr 6, 2009)
"perform a dutch oven on your spouse"
Damn, another sexual act I'm going to have to go google. I'm still getting over blumpkins and shrimping (the original term for "Felching", changed at, I'm betting, the request of the shrimping industry)
Marc Alan Fishman (11:53 AM on Mon Apr 6, 2009)
Glad I could help Vinnie! Err... I think.
Patrick Hughes (1:26 PM on Mon Apr 6, 2009)
Another great strip Marc I am man enough to say I like it. And if you have issues with that we can TAKE THIS OUTSIDE... and talk it over with a nice cup of tea!
Anonymous (12:58 PM on Mon Apr 6, 2009)
You know, I like Kawaii Not (and I'm a dude) but it does tend to get a mite repetitive after a while.