Wed Apr 1, 2009 12:42PM12 comments ›
Wed Apr 1, 2009 — by Mike Gold
Glenn Hauman To Leave ComicMix
Focus On Nude Model Career
ComicMix co-founder, production manager and news site scribe Glenn Hauman will be leaving his position at the end of the week to focus on his growing career as a male nude model.
"I've been offered a stimulating position out in Long Island," Hauman stated, "and like all native Long Islanders I long for the opportunity to return. And I really mean long."
Glenn had been debating this prickly decision for some time. "I enjoy comics and I can tolerate my partners, but let's face it -- I won't be young and handsome forever, and I owe it to humanity to squeeze every last drop out of my nature-given charms." Word has it he's in negotiations with the renown Flava-Punisher agency.
In response to this announcement, ComicMix editor-in-chief Mike Gold stated "Are you kidding me? The guy's 40! He can't bend over, let alone dance! Good luck with this one, pal!"
Jump to comments (12) 
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Comments (12)
MARK WHEATLEY (1:03 PM on Wed Apr 1, 2009)
Good luck, Glenn! You will be missed! Don't drink too much of that Long Island Iced Tea.
And Mike - I don't think you should come down so "hard" on Glenn about this. Instead you should be seeing about getting Glenn to pose for all the artists here at ComicMix. If his new career takes off it could be a great audience builder for us!
Glenn Hauman (3:18 PM on Wed Apr 1, 2009)
Drinking those Long Island Iced Teas were what got me this new job...
Mike Gold (1:06 PM on Wed Apr 1, 2009)
You wanna see Glenn naked? Isn't that why we have the Internet? It's no big deal.
Russ Rogers (1:28 PM on Wed Apr 1, 2009)
I hope this is an April Fool's Joke, because I don't want to see Glenn Hauman naked unless he shaves. No, I don't mean the beard. The beard can stay.
Mike Gold (1:30 PM on Wed Apr 1, 2009)
Are you calling my friend an April Fool's joke?
Vinnie Bartilucci (1:33 PM on Wed Apr 1, 2009)
And once again, we see the most common flaw in april fool newsitems - the required semblance of plausability.
*Male* model...heh.
Mike Gold (2:11 PM on Wed Apr 1, 2009)
Ha! You'd be surprised.
Marc Alan Fishman (2:08 PM on Wed Apr 1, 2009)
I would like to apply for the vacant position Mike. Where do I send my resume?
Mike Gold (2:12 PM on Wed Apr 1, 2009)
Marc, your commute would be a real bitch.
Marc Alan Fishman (3:15 PM on Wed Apr 1, 2009)
Did I not mention for this particular opportunity I'm willing to relocate? Cause I would.
Glenn Hauman (2:55 PM on Wed Apr 1, 2009)
Mike, you're missing the point of this exercise... the stories have to be false.
Luckily, I've already arranged for my replacement. I believe you know Mr. Obadiah?
Rick Taylor (8:54 AM on Thu Apr 2, 2009)
EEEEK!
I don't think you even want to see Rick in his underwear!