Fri Jul 25, 2008 — by Michael Davis

I am the man! OR I am Sorry! by Michael Davis

Straight No Chaser

It’s the Friday of the San Diego Comic Con and I’m either having a great time or I’m miserable. Why one or the other? Well, I threw huge a party last night and it was a smash or was cancelled or it sucked.

I’m writing this a week before, on Friday July 18, 2008. I have a TON of work to finish before the con and a TON of work to do for the con, so I know there would be no way in France I would have enough time to finish this column. So I want to revel in my greatness or apologize.

If you came to the party and had a great time, I know, I know. I’m the man! If you could not get in because it was too packed, I’m sorry.

If you showed up with three people who were not on the guest list and saw me at the door of the club or called me on my cell and I came and got you in, I was glad to be of help! I know I’m the man!

If you showed up with three people who were not on the guest list and saw me at the door of the club or called me on my cell and I told you there was nothing I could do because the invite CLEARLY said your name was on the list and if you wanted to add somebody we would try but there was no guarantee and you left mad and went back to the top of the Hyatt where you sat alone because everyone was at MY party… sorry, but I did tell you.

If you stood on the general admission line and not the VIPs line and I saw you and walked you in past the crowd, please stop thanking me. You’re my friend. It’s the least I could do.

If you stood on the general admission line and not the VIPs line and waited a long time to get to the door and when you did they informed you that you could have walked right in because you were on my list, I’m sorry about that there must have been a grip of people there and it was confusing.

If one of the many Hollywood stars you have admired for years was standing next to you and stuck up a conversation and you had the best time ever because you thought this guy was a dick but he turned out to be really cool, I know, I know I’m all that and a ham sandwic…wait…you smell that? That’s me! I’m THE SHIT!

If one of the many Hollywood stars you have admired for years was standing next to you and ignored you like you tested positive for death when you tried to strike up a conversation with him and you had the worst time ever because you thought this guy was a saint but he turned out to be a dick who told his security to remove you from his presence, I’m sorry, but some stars act that way. There’s a medical term for that… assholes.

I hope I’m having a good day today. I hope I had a good day last night. More so I hope you had a good time last night and are still talking to me today.

Me? In either case good or bad I most likely have a hangover so if you see me in dark shades at night… you know why.

Oh, and to that Asian girl from last night: I’m really not Obama. I was drunk and you were cute. I’m sorry to have misled you. I want to be up front with you and start over. My real name is Denys.

Media mogul Michael Davis is not Denys Cowan. Denys Cowan is used to that. 

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