Sat May 31, 2008 6:46AM13 comments ›
Sat May 31, 2008 — by Martha Thomases
Are We There Yet? by Martha Thomases
Brilliant Disguise
Every week when I’m considering a subject for my column, I look at the newspapers and the comic books cluttering up my living room. Perhaps this will be the week in which there is a perfect synchronization between the real world and the graphic world! Perhaps a team of comic book writers, artists and editors will perfectly capture the zeitgeist that is our national condition!
Perhaps this primary season will finally end.
I like elections. I like voting. I vote every chance I get. Because I live in New York, I’m accustomed to my primary vote not counting very much. I vote anyway. I voted for candidates I knew would lose, just because I wanted the Democratic Party to know there was a bloc of support for those positions. I’ve voted for Bella Abzug, Al Sharpton and Jonathan Tasini for Senate. I voted for George McGovern, Jesse Jackson and Edward Kennedy for President. I voted for Ruth Messinger for Mayor. I voted even though none of them had a prayer. When I voted for Bill Clinton in 1992 and he won, I didn’t know what to do with myself.
This year was a little bit different, because New York moved up its primary so that it would be earlier. However, because she’s our Senator, it was assumed New York would vote for Hillary, and we didn’t get much media (or candidate) attention.
I voted for Obama. I wanted to vote for Edwards, but he was out of the race already. I could have voted for him anyway (his name was still on the ballot), but I wanted my vote to say “No” to Clinton and her vote for the Iraq war.
That was in February. It’s almost June. Today, as you read this, the Democratic National Committee is deciding what to do about Florida and Michigan, states that violated party rules by holding their primaries too early. Tomorrow is the primary in Puerto Rico. Tuesday will be the last two primaries. Will it be over then?
It feels longer than a DC event. It’s almost as if Dan DiDio was running the country. The only drama the audience seems to care about is whether or not a candidate’s chances are dead or alive. Issues are pesky things, like character development or logic. Why talk about the war, or health insurance, when the polls may have changed by a tenth of a percentage point? Why discuss taxes and the economy when someone is wearing a pantsuit, and someone else isn’t wearing a tie?
(By the way, why are we talking about Hillary’s pantsuits? Aren’t all the candidates wearing pantsuits?)
In any case, just when you think one huge event is open (52, or the run up to the first primaries), another huge event is announced (Countdown, or Super-Tuesday). And then, when everything is supposed to be over, there’s another huge event (Final Crisis, or June 3). Only the hard-core fans show up, and everyone else is exhausted.
I’ll be voting again in November, but then, I’m a geeky fangirl. With luck, the storyline by then will be friendlier to new readers, and we’ll get some new customers checking out the choices on the ballot box.
Martha Thomases, Media Goddess for ComicMix, wonders if blue jeans and her DC denim jacket count as a pantsuit.
Jump to comments (13)
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Comments (13)
Rick Taylor (7:36 AM on Sat May 31, 2008)
I fear the DC 'events' will drag on much longer than the primaries.
At least by the end of the election we'll know who is president.
At the end of each DC event we just get another plodding DC event.
This is better?
Mike Gold (4:26 PM on Sat May 31, 2008)
VERY good, Rick. I'll be quoting you on that "DC 'events' drag on much longer than the primaries" line.
Rick Taylor (4:45 PM on Sat May 31, 2008)
God knows their 'events' will drag on forever.
They will out-bore us way more than the primaries OR the election.
And we thought the election had nothing new to say!
He's back from the dead, now HE's dead, she's back and a lesbian but we can't do anything about that until the movie buzz is over. Give me a bat purseg with a hair-net or a powder puff any day!
This is NEW?
Talk about BORING!
Alan Coil (8:45 AM on Sat May 31, 2008)
Why, indeed, is there talk about Hillary Clinton's pantsuits? What else would we expect a female candidate for President to wear, mini-skirts? I'd venture that it is veiled commentary on the size of her thighs. Yeah, she has fat thighs. She has a fat butt, too, and a fat neck, and probably other fat things, too. I have fat thighs, a fat neck, a fat stomach, and a fat head, too. I haven't worn shorts in decades because I have ugly legs in addition to the fat.
This ain't a fashion show. It's a political campaign. There's no need to comment on what a candidate is wearing unless it is out of the ordinary.
Martha Thomases (8:52 AM on Sat May 31, 2008)
Actually, Hillary is probably less fat than most of the country. She's round, but then again, she's 60. When I've seen her in person, wearing skirts, it seems to me that her ankles are on the thick side, but only in comparison to the rest of her.
Russ Rogers (3:29 PM on Sat May 31, 2008)
You've noticed how thick Hilary's ankles are? Wow. That kind of scrutiny would keep me in pantsuits 24/7. As it is, my pasty white legs hardly ever see the sun.
Obama has been photographed frolicking in the waves. John Kerry was photographed windsurfing. I doubt Hilary could go swimming in an indoor, private pool without some media analyst commenting on the state of her cellulite. This is one area where the media are VERY sexist. Jennifer Love Hewitt has never been fat. Sarah Jessica Parker does not have man-hands. I'm so exceedingly tired of the media's constant vigilance and gnit-picking on fashion and appearance. And women tend to get the brunt of this silly scrutiny. No doubt, it's sexist. From Abigail Breslin to Hilary Clinton, no female is safe from the critical eye, not for one moment. Paparazzi literally lie in the gutters, praying to get a shot of some starlet's hoohah as she exits her car.
I have a subscription to AOL. I used to actually enjoy their content. But AOL has been invaded by TMZ and Celeb TV. It's become an outlet for the Enquirer! And, God Help ME, I end up clicking on these links and wasting precious moments of my life, filling my brain with the most useless innuendo-gossip-porn. Stuff that just makes me feel UNclean to ponder. I don't care if George Clooney had a $35,000 "smile lift" or if he just got his teeth whitened! I just feel cheap for knowing this.
Martha Thomases (3:57 PM on Sat May 31, 2008)
I'm female, raised as a girl. As a result, I notice how I stack up (you should pardon the expression) next to every other female in the room. Then, because I aspire to be a good feminist, I try to ignore my own observations. Still, I can name every person who has a bigger belly (or thighs, or upper arms) than I do.
At the same time, it should be noted, I'm also comparing all the men in the room to each other. Yes, I'm noticing your feet.
Russ Rogers (5:02 PM on Sat May 31, 2008)
My feet are average with a slight bend to the left.
Martha Thomases (2:55 PM on Sun Jun 1, 2008)
Just in case I hadn't made this clear, Hillary is much thinner than I am.
Mike Gold (4:30 PM on Sat May 31, 2008)
Most of the commentary I've heard (as opposed to late-night talk show jokes) about Sen. Clinton's fashions come from women. And I thought it was legitimate: many women are interested in fashion, and since we've never had a woman candidate get this close to a presidential nomination before it seems like something worthy of note. I mean, I hadn't heard anybody say: "Yellow pantsuit? Hell, I ain't voting for HER!"
However, I have heard people say that if she isn't handed the nomination, they won't vote Democratic. THAT'S stupid. We already had a candidate who didn't play by the rules and who came in second but was given the job over the one who did play by the rules and came in first. We don't need another one eight years later.
Elayne Riggs (10:44 AM on Sat May 31, 2008)
I wish that every time Hillary Clinton correctly pointed out that primaries do tend to last until the summer, she also pointed out that this one began WAY too early, and it probably shouldn't have. Yes, Bobby Kennedy was murdered in June of '68, but I believe he didn't even enter the race until March of that year, which was after the first primary contest anyway. Nowadays both Republicans and Democrats run on a "perpetual campaign" mentality, where you start gearing up for the next contest as soon as the last one has been decided. It's ridiculous.
John Tebbel (4:12 PM on Sat May 31, 2008)
I just keep in mind that old speech class trick and try to imagine the Congress in their underlings.
Joe in Philly (7:34 PM on Sat May 31, 2008)
Seeing as how presidential campaigns seem to start about a week after the previous presidential election ends, clearly it's an Infinite Crisis.