Wed May 14, 2008 3:59PM4 comments ›
Wed May 14, 2008 — by Rick Marshall
Darth Vader Gets Drunk, Attacks Jedi Church
Because you knew this was bound to happen at some point...
To be filed under "Sometimes This Stuff Really Writes Itself," Newsweek.com is reporting that a 27-year-old man who dressed up as Star Wars villain Darth Vader (complete with garbage-bag cape) and attacked members of a British group calling itself the Jedi Church, has been officially spared any time in jail.
According to reports, Arwel Wynne Hughes attacked church founders Barney Jones (a.k.a. "Master Jonba Hehol") and Michael Jones (a.k.a. "Master Mormi Hehol") with a metal crutch two months ago. The cousins created the "Jedi Church" after a 2001 U.K. census reported 390,000 people (0.7 percent of the country's population) who claimed "Jedi" as their religion.
Here's the best part, though:
Hughes claimed he couldn't remember the incident, having drunk the better part of a 2 1/2-gallon (10-liter) box of wine beforehand.
Seriously, there's nothing worse than a drunk guy who can control The Force. If I had a nickel for every party that ended when someone force-pushed another guest through a wall...
Jump to comments (4) 
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Comments (4)
EmilyB (4:52 PM on Wed May 14, 2008)
Wow. That's just....wow.
Vinnie Bartilucci (9:40 AM on Thu May 15, 2008)
He had a 1.5% blood alcohol content, and a .000045% midichlorian content.
He was originally also to be charged with choking one of the Jedi...from 10 feet away. The police just couldn't bring themselves to doing the paperwork.
And as I've mentioed elsewhere, the reason there are so many registered Jedi in Britain is because during the last census, a rumor circulated that if enough people listed their religion as "Jedi", they would receive some sort of nebulously defined recognition fron the government.
Rick Marshall (10:08 AM on Thu May 15, 2008)
"He was originally also to be charged with choking one of the Jedi...from 10 feet away. The police just couldn't bring themselves to doing the paperwork."
Ha!
griffin riffe (10:01 PM on Mon Aug 25, 2008)
"i am your father's uncle's cousin's ex roomate."