Fri Apr 18, 2008 — by Michael Davis

New York, New York, by Michael Davis

Straight, No Chaser #62

If you can make it there you can make it anywhere…

I hate Los Angeles.

I hate it here. I hate the food with its damn “tofu” slant. I hate the weather, always freaking sunny. I hate the girls (Asians girl exempt) and that ridiculous “Valley Girl” dialect. I hate the car culture, where what you drive defines you. I hate the stupid way they treat “stars” like these people walk on water. Listen, I enjoy Tom Cruise’s movies but unless Tom is writing me a check he and Katie can wait on line just like me at the airport. I hate gangs and would not shed a tear if they killed each other in a massive gang war.

But most of all, I hate the laid-back way they approach things in L.A.

Case in point, last week I had a severe migraine. I mean bad. I get them so bad sometimes that I go blind and my head feels like it will explode. Trust me, my description does not do the pain justice, let me put it this way, the only two times I have ever considered suicide is once when I was in such pain from a migraine and the other is when Bush won his second term. Anyway, I was sitting on my couch talking to Denys Cowan on the phone enjoying some all to brief relief from the pain when I heard my dogs barking from my backyard. I thought little of this as the barking could be from a number of reasons. Then the barking became crazed and I thought maybe there was a squirrel or something in my back yard then Mac (MY PIT BULL BOXER MIX) went ballistic! I asked Denys to hold on, then went outside to see what Mac and Dexter (my golden retriever) were losing their minds over.

Imagine my surprise when I walked outside and there was a woman from the Department Of Water And Power (DWP) fending off Mac (MY PIT BULL BOXER MIX!) with a stick. I lost my mind! I was so damn pissed. I screamed at the top of my lungs “DID YOU NOT SEE THE SIGN THAT SAID “BEWARE OF DOG” ON MY LOCKED GATE??”

She looked at me and said, “It’s no big deal. Calm down.” I said “CALM DOWN??” as I grabbed Mac (MY PIT BULL BOXER MIX!!!!) and tried to get him to go inside the house. I repeated, “CALM DOWN!? MY GATE IS LOCKED FOR A GODDAMN REASON!! WHAT THE F**K WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IF MY DOG RIPPED YOUR MOTHERF***ING THROAT OPEN????” I was NOT happy. She told me “Hey it’s no big deal…” I let Mac go and he ripped her throat open while Dexter licked her face happily in his punk ass Golden Retriever way.

Yeah. That would have been nice.

In reality I did not let Mac go, but I sure did think about it as this idiot calmly said to me, “Hey it’s no big deal. I’m just here to read the meter.” This clueless idiot was as laid back as a surfer on ecstasy, Jack Daniels and sleeping pills – combined. That to me is a typical L.A. native. Needless to say this exchange brought back my migraine.

I hate Los Angeles.

I know, I know I’m being silly. All people from L.A. do not act like this moron, in fact most people I have met here are pretty darn cool, but when I talk smack I talk BIG smack so… I hate Los Angeles.

One of the things about me is I don’t ever do anything that I don’t like. One of the things I really hate is to fly and there are only two reasons I will get on a plane. I’ll get to those a bit later, but keep in mind I hate to fly.

On the flip side of some of those things I hate is Comic Con International! Everyone knows I love Comic Con International in San Diego. Love it! There is no better comic book convention for my bank than Comic Con. None. They are without a doubt the undisputed champions of the convention world!

There may be a contender on the block.

A few years ago The New York Comic Con (NYCC) burst on the scene. I did not go the first year. Why? Because it’s held in the Javits Center in New York City.

I hate The Javits center. Remember, I don’t do anything I don’t like and…

I hate The Javits center.

Last year the NYCC people called me and asked if I would be interested in doing something with the convention. I was hesitant at first. Why?

I hate the Javits center.

The last time I did a convention at the Javits center one of my people almost got into a fist fight with one of the union people… don’t ask. The people from the NYCC who talked to me were very cool and convinced me to come to the show. They even made me a special guest. Note to Comic Con International, they made me a special guest.

I’m a New Yorker and will always be one. I claim New York when asked where I’m from without giving it a second thought. Up until 9-11 I would use any excuse to go to New York but since the tragedy it’s really hard for me to go back there. The view from my New York loft was the World Trade Center and going back to New York just always makes me feel really sad. So much so if I have a meeting I try to fly in and out the same day. That’s 10 hours on a plane in a single day and I hate to fly.

So me accepting an invitation to New York when no one is writing me a check is a big deal. Last years NYCC had some problems. It was not Comic Con International in the least. The lines outside moved really slowly. There were not enough people there from the convention to direct people and the Javits staff are just plain idiots.

I hate the staff from the Javits center.

That’s the difference between Comic Con in San Diego and the NYCC. The staff at Comic Con International from security, volunteers, and the convention center staff seem to care. The Javits center staff could care less about the comic book fans there.

Now understand there is a HUGE difference between the staff at the Javits and the NYCC staff. And THAT’S why I think that the NYCC is a contender to the San Diego con.

The people who run the NYCC go the extra mile. They want to do better and in wanting to they have made the show better from the first year I’ve been told.

I’ve talked to three top-level executives at the NYCC and because of them I’m getting on a plane to go to New York and no one is writing me a check.

I hate to fly. Here are the only two things that can get me on a plane:

I rarely take vacations and when I do it’s on a BOAT.

I hate to fly. As I said; for me to get on a plane when no one is writing me a check or there are no bikini clad Asian girls on a beach waiting for me is a HUGE deal. I don’t like many people I really don’t. That’s OK not many people like me. That’s OK also, the few people who do like me think I’m swell! As I was saying, I don’t like many people but I like the people at the NYCC. They really want to give a good show and truth be told I had a good time there last year despite the Javits staff’s indifference to the fans.

I like the people at the show so much that I feel like I’m cheating on Comic Con International. I fully expect to see the cameras from the show “Cheaters” rolling up on me while I’m at the show. I’m actually looking forward to going to the NYCC in fact; I’m there NOW! I got on a plane and flew to New York just to attend the con and I bet I’m having a good time! Right now I’m most likely at the DC booth looking to talk to someone about my love letter, I wrote last week.

Or, security is dragging me from the DC booth because I’m looking to talk to someone about the love letter I wrote last week. Why didn’t they call meeeeeeeeee???

Most likely I’m at the ComicMix suite hanging with Mike Gold and the crew.

In all seriousness there is no greater compliment I can give anyone or anything than my time. The NYCC has earned not only my time but also my respect.

So to paraphrase Billy Joel, I’m in a New York Comic Con state of mind.

I hate Billy Joel.

I hate that I love Billy Joel.

Michael Davis will be hosting the Blacks In Comics panel at the NYCC tonight (Friday) at 7:30 PM, with Denys Cowan, Dwayne McDuffie, Reginald Hudlin (who, by the way, was just named to Ebony Magazine's Most Influential Blacks In America 2008 list), and ComicMix’s own Mike Gold.  Wonder why the Blacks In Comics panel was scheduled for 7:30 at night? 

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