Sat Feb 9, 2008 6:46AM9 comments ›
Sat Feb 9, 2008 — by Martha Thomases
The Look of Love, by Martha Thomases
Brilliant Disguise #43
It was 30 years ago this week that I first slept with the man who would be my husband. This didn’t happen because I sensed he was my soul mate, my other half, the light to my void. I didn’t think he’d be the perfect father to my children. I didn’t think I needed a date for Valentines Day. Neither did it happen because he had a lot of money, a great job, or a fantastic apartment.I thought he was hot, cute and funny. We had met a few months earlier, at a press event, through mutual friends. We discussed the possibility of feminist porn, and he leant me a copy of Anais Nin’s Delta of Venus. Personally, I’m not a big fan of Nin, finding her writing a bit gooey, but it was a hell of a line.
Why am I mentioning this, aside from monumental self-absorption? It’s been an interesting life. We’ve had adventures. We’ve had fights. (We’ve also had over a decade of therapy, but that’s another column). We’ve had successes and failures. As a result, we have a lot of stories that we tell our friends and family at dinner parties.
Imagine if we had super-powers! We’d have even more stories to tell!
The time we went to Paris, and saved up all our money for a big dinner at a fancy restaurant and I got sick? It would be so much funnier if I were flying when it happened. Or when I was in labor and the cab driver almost threw us out on the street because he was freaked out? If John had super-strength and could life the cab over his head, the hack might have been nicer.
Every couple is different from every other couple, and become more different the longer they stay together. You probably have friends who are together, and you can’t figure out why. You never will. Making a life together is more than sexual compatibility, or common interests. It’s a mixture of those things, plus smells and tastes, and temperament.
It seems to me that being a shape-shifter, able to make parts of one’s body bigger or smaller at will, would be an advantage.
No one in super-hero comics is telling these stories. If anything, they’re trying to un-tell these stories, with “Brand New Day” and “Identity Crisis.” Independent comics aren’t much better. Single people, according to conventional wisdom, are more interesting and their stories are more commercial. The coveted 18-to-25 demographic is assumed to be uninterested in stories about people unlike them.
Except …
The most successful movie stars aren’t 18-to-25. The best-selling novels are not about people that age. Why are comics aimed at such a narrow target?
Being drawn to a person, in love with someone, living with that person and negotiating life, is a common human experience. Sometimes it’s happy and sometimes it’s painful. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. As we approach Valentines Day, let’s enjoy this human trait, and encourage the creation of more stories that acknowledge it.
Martha Thomases, Media Goddess of ComicMix, still thinks her sweetie is hot and cute and funny.
Jump to comments (9) 
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Comments (9)
John Tebbel (8:29 AM on Sat Feb 9, 2008)
Having a wonderful time, glad you've been here. Love, Husband Boy.
Rick Taylor (8:39 AM on Sat Feb 9, 2008)
Martha,
As always, you've hit the nail on the head.
Why aren't comics telling these kind of stories?
Remember what a hit The New Teen Titans 'Day In The Life' issue was?
Let's stop telling the 'dead super-hero of the crossover' and the 'kill the spouse violently' story and occasionally show the human, caring side of the characters.
Stop breaking up the relationships and maybe showing the strength of the attractions and why they work.
Can all the people in comics have such a negative opinion of these things?
Are their relationships that bad?
Do they HAVE relationships?
It's such an opportunity to influence and mold their readership instead of pandering to the video game 'destroy everything' mentality.
Just a suggestion.
Tony Isabella (10:00 AM on Sat Feb 9, 2008)
I remember being told by an insufferable toad of an editor that, if I were to reunite a character and his ex-wife, the only possible things I could do with the story would be to have her kidnapped and/or killed. Stupid, stupid editor creatures.
Elayne Riggs (12:12 PM on Sat Feb 9, 2008)
I know for a fact that many of these editors are married to wonderful, interesting people whom they consider their equals. I want to see more fun couple stories too! Where's the superhero equivalent of Nick and Nora Charles? Oh wait, that was Ralph and Sue Dibny, wasn't it? Damn it...
Tony Isabella (1:13 PM on Sat Feb 9, 2008)
Pity that's so rarely reflected in the comics they edit.
Rick Taylor (4:47 PM on Sat Feb 9, 2008)
Sad they continually sell their readership short.
Patrick (6:17 PM on Sun Feb 10, 2008)
30 years since your first nookie! Congrats! I feel like it's been 30 years since my last nookie!
Martha Thomases (7:36 PM on Sun Feb 10, 2008)
Not my first ever, but my first with my sweetie. You're cute, Patrick. I'm sure you'll find someone.
Anonymous (12:48 PM on Sat Feb 9, 2008)
Yeah, and DC had to go and kill them off...twice!
It's beginning to look like Wiccan and Hulkling have the healthiest relationship in comics...but then, they haven't gotten their turn in the new Young Avengers series, so goddess knows what they'll do to them.