Mon Dec 24, 2007 — by Mike Gold

An Editor's Night Before Christmas, by Mike Gold

Whizzy's Wazoo #46, with apologies to by Clement Clarke Moore

 ‘Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
Deadlines were mounting, so I emailed Herr Claus

The scripts were all posted on the Internet with care
In hopes that the editing elves would soon be there
The artists were nestled, all snug in their beds,
While visions of royalty checks danced in their heads.

And Hauman at his ‘puter while I took my nap
Had just settled down for a long paste-up rap
When out in the ether there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter
Away to the iMac I ran like The Flash
Powered up the router and logged on with a dash

The light of my screensaver turned into snow
The red lights of deadlines now horribly aglow
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny writers so clear,
With a little old driver so lively and newly,
I knew in an instant it must be my pal Julie

More rapid than eagles the staffers they came
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name
"Now O’Neil!, now Meyer! now Goodwin and Giordano!
On Gruenwald! on Feldstein! on Eisner and Orlando!
To the top of the script pile! With blue pens of ball!
Now edit away! edit away! edit away all!"

As I stood in amazement and was turning around
Down the chimney Julie Schwartz came with a bound
He was dressed all in fur from his head to his knee
But his soul was untarnished, believe you me!
A bundle of artwork he had flung on his back
And he looked like an art dealer just opening his pack

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And edited all my backed-up scripts, then turned with a jerk

And laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight
"Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good-night!"

Mike Gold is editor-in-chief of ComicMix.

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