Fri Aug 17, 2007 — by Michael Davis

MICHAEL DAVIS: It’s a real mad mad mad world part 1

Straight, No Chaser #27

What is up with heroes today? I just got back from Wizard World Chicago and as I was walking around the con I took notice of the posters, billboards and other comic company signage. What I observed with little exception is the look on the heroes faces… they all looked mad. I mean they looked pissed.

I ask again, what is up with heroes today?

Do all the comic companies have a template for posters? Stop me if you’re seen this: the hero or heroes are standing with a smoke filled background or battlefield usually the background is an orange or red hue. They stand with this look of utter anger. They all look like the first words they would say to you upon meeting you at a funeral is I will kick your ass!

I remember when Superman would… smile. Wow, what a concept a hero who stands for truth, justice and the American way smiling once in a while. I remember when Superman was a role model and he would stand there with his hands on his hips legs firmly planted on the ground looking out at the reader with a HUGE smile on his face.

Heck, I remember when Bat-Man would smile from time to time. I saw a poster at the DC booth with Wonder Woman looking out at the viewer with that “mad look.” From what she looked like on that poster I am now sure that even comic book characters suffer from PMS.

Hey, I’m sure that there are posters and characters out there that smile or project a more positive attitude. I just don’t see them. Now Marvel and DC know their audience but there seems to me to be an effort out there to make everybody “hard,” as the rappers say. This look is not new to the comic world. In fact it’s ripped off completely from Hip-Hop.

When’s the last time anybody ever saw a rapper smile on an album cover? The “Hard” look is everywhere. Look at high fashion models and that stupid look… football players… baseball players… heck, now opera singers stare out from their posters looking like Biggie Smalls.

As I said before Marvel and DC know their audience and they are the market leaders, so this is what the public must want.

But (as you knew there would be) ...

What if there was a bit more fun in our superheroes? I mean comedies are HUGE in movies and television why not a little more fun in our comics? What is the issue with comedy in comics from the big boy publishers?  The independent publishers seem to really have a handle on humor. I’m sure there are writers out there in the DC and Marvel Universe that can handle humor but boy when I was looking around at Wizard World I was not seeing a bunch of happy heroes represented.

Hey!

I just created a new super team: The Happy Heroes!  Happy Heroes tm & copyright Michael Davis 2007 Any unauthorized use will result in my lawyer getting me yours and your momma’s house.

These heroes will look out from their posters with a smile that will light up the world.
There will be Smiley! His smile will disarm any villain.  Smiley will be joined by The Grin! The Grin’s power is his endless one-liners of elephant jokes! Last but not least there’s Gay-Man. He’s, well…gay! Gay as in:

1.    Full of light-heartedness and merriment
2.    Brightly colored
3.    Having or showing a carefree spirit
4.    Eats Sushi

Their archenemy is the notorious Dark Comedy. An African American failed comedian who is out to destroy the Happy Heroes.

Page 1:
Panel 1: Establishing shot of The HARDY HA-HA.
Caption: The secret lair of The Happy Heroes.

Panel 2: The Grin is sitting on a sofa watching Animal Planet in hopes of gaining some incentive that will help inspire a new elephant joke. Smiley is looking through old Knock Knock joke books. Gay–Man is well he’s… gay. Just sitting around being gay. By gay I mean:

1.    Full of light-heartedness and merriment
2.    Brightly colored
3.    Having or showing a carefree spirit
4.    Likes Judy Garland

The Grin: (Grinning) Hey Smiley, what did Tarzan say when he saw the Elephants coming?
Smiley: (smiling) I don’t know Grin, what did Tarzan say when he saw the Elephants coming?

Panel 2: The Grin and Smiley are now facing each other. Gay-Man continues to be, well gay, and by gay I mean:

1.    Full of light-heartedness and merriment
2.    Brightly colored
3.    Having or showing a carefree spirit
4.    Loves The Music Man

The Grin: (Grinning) He said, here come the Elephants!
Smiley: (smiling) Good one Grin! Hey, Knock Knock?
The Grin: (Grinning) Thanks Smiley! Who’s there?
Smiley: (smiling) Nuisance!
The Grin: (Grinning) Nuisance who?
Smiley: (smiling) What’s nuisance since we beat our archenemy Dark Comedy?

Panel 3: The walls explode and the heroes are blown from their seats. Smoke fills the room. 
FX: KABLAM!

Panel 4: Entering the room though the massive hole in the wall is a black man dressed all in black with a red cape. He is Dark Comedy!
Dark Comedy: (yelling) Why are so many black people shot by the police?

Page 2.
Panel 1. The Happy Heroes are stunned but they are starting to get up from the debris filled floor.
Dark Comedy: (off panel still yelling) Answer me! Why are so many black people shot by the police?

Panel 2.The Happy Heroes are all standing. The Grin is wiping off dust and plaster from his costume. Smiley is fixing his mask. Gay-Man is staring at Dark Comedy as he continues being gay and by gay I mean:

1.    Full of light-heartedness and merriment
2.    Brightly colored
3.    Having or showing a carefree spirit
4.    Great fashion sense.

The Grin: Dark Comedy!
Smiley: Dark Comedy!
Gay-Man: Nice outfit.

Panel 3
Dark Comedy has produced a large ray gun and is walking towards the Happy Heroes. The Grin and Smiley are looking at each other as if they were planning something between them, Gay-Man (and by gay I mean: 1. Full of light-heartedness and merriment,
2. Brightly colored, 3. Having or showing a carefree spirit, 4. Great color sense) has his hand on his chin as if pondering a great question.

The Grin: (whispering to Smiley) You go right, I’ll go left.
Smiley: (Shouting) GOT IT! I’ll GO RIGHT! YOU GO LEFT!
Gay-Man. I would lose the cape.

Panel 4. Dark Comedy has pointed the gun at The Grin’s chest. The Grin is looking at Smiley like he is an idiot. Smiley has a “What?” look on his face. Gay-Man is slowly backing up.

Dark Comedy: (yelling) Last time-Why are so many black people shot by the police?
The Grin: (To Smiley) Why did you shout?
Smiley: My bad. Sorry.

Page 3 Full page. Dark Comedy has fired a blast right into chest of The Grin. Smiley is frantic as he responds to Dark Comedy’s question. Gay-Man has entered a closet and is slowly closing the door behind him.

The Grin: Arrrgggghhh!
Smiley: (Frantic) Because the police are bad??
Dark Comedy: NO! Because every time the cops say: "Get down!" They start dancing!!

Page 4.

Panel 1.
Dark Comedy is now pointing his weapon at Smiley. Smiley is looking around for Gay-Man and by Gay I mean:

1.    Full of light-heartedness and merriment
2.    Brightly colored
3.    Having or showing a carefree spirit
4.    Likes Dick…Cheney

Dark Comedy: Where’s Gay-Man?
Smiley: I’ll never tell.

Panel 2.
Dark Comedy shoots Smiley in the kneecap.

Smiley: AHHHHHHHHHGGGG! GAY-MAN IS IN THE CLOSET!!!

Panel 3.
Dark Comedy is standing above Smiley who is rolling around on the floor holding his knee.

Dark Comedy: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans?
Smiley: (Though gritted teeth) The black ones steal your watch?

Panel 4.

Dark Comedy has pointed the gun at Smiley’s fore head.
Smiley is not smiling.

Dark Comedy: That’s Funny…

Panel 5.
Close up on the Dark Comedy’s hand as he pulls the trigger.
Dark Comedy: ... not.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Michael Davis is a comics creator and the founder of the Guardian Line series of comics as well as being a television producer and writer. He was a co-founder of Milestone Comics and his artwork has appeared in Wasteland, Green Arrow: Shado, Green Hornet and The Question, among others.

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