Fri May 18, 2007 — by Michael Davis

MICHAEL DAVIS: Ask Michael! Because I know.

Straight, No Chaser #14

Last week’s article on privilege and other ranting produced quite a few responses – so many, in fact, I feel it’s my duty to respond and elaborate on my views. So with that in mind, welcome to the first installment of Ask Michael! Because I know. 

Terry at 7:58 AM on Fri May 11, 2007 writes:
“I hate that show more than slavery,” is the best sentence I will read this month.

Yes Terry, yes it is.

But let’s look deeper; let’s look to why? Do I really hate the show Sweet 16 more than slavery? Well, if given the choice to be a slave or to watch that show, it would be a tough decision but I will most likely have to go with watching that show. Yeah I think by a 51 to 49 vote I would have to go with the show. Unless we are talking about a MTV Marathon. Then it’s “take me to the cotton fields, because a marathon would be worst than Adam West thinking he can still play Bat-man.” Yes, that show is that horrible.

Mike Baron at 8:11 AM on Fri May 11, 2007 writes:
Ditto.

"Ditto?" This from one of the greatest writers in the history of comics? Ditto? Well, Let’s look deeper; let’s look to why. Maybe, Mike, you are realizing that the world is an eternal flame of duplication where nothing is left to say. With a simple Ditto. You can say to the world “There’s no originality left. Woe is me.” Or maybe you just agreed with Terry. Both would be right.

Rob at 9:22 AM on Fri May 11, 2007 writes:
Hey Michael!
I am new to this site. I thoroughly enjoyed your column and look forward to many more. I agree with you on Paris. The letter for leniency to the governor, made it seem like she thought she had been given a death sentence. Perhaps she should read up on people who spent time in prisons for things they were later exonerated for (then maybe doing time for something she did would make sense).

Yes, Rob. But Let’s look deeper; let’s look to why. You did enjoy my column and I will write many more. You know why you enjoyed my column? You know why you are looking forward to many more? Because you are a smart guy, Rob! I like you, Rob. Not in a Brokeback way but in a kind of “Hey that Rob is a smart guy who knows a good writer when he sees one” way.

Josh at 5:23 PM on Fri May 11, 2007 writes:
Agreed. 
The degrees of elitism and entitlement you see around these days is nothing short of disgusting. I’m really hoping the judge reneges on giving her a more private cell for her own security. Let her get some common sense the old-fashioned way – by having it beaten into her. And seeing some rich, white, no-sense punk get smacked feels great; DOING the smacking feels SOOOOO much better.

Whoo! Tell us how you really feel, Josh! Young Jedi, the Force is strong in you but I feel a bit of the Dark Side there. But Let’s look deeper; let’s look to why. Slapping Paris like you a Pimp and she a Ho would only give you a moment of happiness. Then you will be arrested and put in jail. The D.A. would make an example of you and you would be sharing your comics (among other things) with a cellmate named Larry the lover. I think you would be better served using your considerable power for good. All that said, yours was a funny response.

Lauren at 6:38 PM on Fri May 11, 2007 writes:
I agree that Paris Hilton is a spoiled brat who should not be getting the attention she does. But physically hurting her is not the way to solve this problem, ignoring her and her friends is. Please ignore Paris before it is too late.

Lauren, meet Josh. Josh, meet Lauren. Let me know how it works out. But before you guys hook up let’s look deeper; let’s look to why. Lauren, I feel you have a good point. I love the whole ignoring Paris thing. In fact that could be a movement. Josh, when you meet Lauren be confident. Chicks dig confidence!

Alan Coil at 7:30 PM on Fri May 11, 2007 writes:
I wish all of you would stop picking on my future wife.
 
Alan, have you seen that tape? Your future wife is a FREAK!

Mike Baron at 8:37 AM on Sat May 12, 2007writes
You mean your future ex-wife?

‘You mean your future ex-wife?’ This from one of the greatest writers in the history of comics? ‘You mean your future ex-wife?’ That’s it? Well, Let’s look deeper; let’s look to why? Maybe Mike you are realizing that marrying Paris Hilton would end in…divorce.

Adriane Nash at 5:09 PM on Sun May 13, 2007 writes:
Regarding Cheaters: (and I’ve got to admit I got caught up in a marathon on G4 yesterday...) Joey did actually get injured once during a confrontation. He got stabbed on camera by the cheating fellah and I believe for some reason they were on a boat...

Adriane, I’m a bit confused. Like Terry, I’m not sure if you are a girl or a boy. Now I should be able to make that out by the spelling of your name but I went to public school and have no clue. Well that said let’s look deeper, let’s look to why?

I thought about this one and…I’ve got nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero.

Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Tue May 15, 2007 writes:
That was very hilarious! Highly entertaining. I enjoy reading your column week to week. I love your books the Guardian Line, but they seem to be sold out every time I look for the new issues.

Anonymous. What are you hiding from? Who signs “anonymous” when they have something good to say? By the way, everything you said is correct. But who signs “anonymous” when then they are not advocating the overthrow of the government?

Well, let’s look deeper, let’s look to why? Yes, I am hilarious and highly entertaining, but your issues are what concerns me. What are you afraid of? Why are you hiding? If I knew rather you were a girl or a boy I would invite you out for a beer or some green tea. No that’s a lie. I would not care if you were Halle Berry, green tea is disgusting.

JR at 3:52 PM on Wed May 16, 2007writes:
This was a fun read, Michael. I look forward to your next column and the next Guardian Line books. Great job! :-)

Now this is a bit much. JR are you a girl or a freaking boy? Terry, Adriane, Anonymous, JR –what is up with this crazy gender maybe world? Pick a side people! Yes you are right, my column is a fun read and you do look forward to the next one and The Guardian Line Books but I’m concerned about you. Let’s look deeper; let’s look to why? I just noticed the smiley face you put next to your comment. You must be a girl. If not then slap yourself for putting a smiley face down on anything! Men don’t do that. Men read comics, men play X-Box 360,men don’t return calls, and men don’t EVER put smiley faces on ANYTHING!!! But if you are a girl, call me we’ll do lunch. Bring some money so you can eat too.

Aww, another important article where I don’t talk about comics. Hey, I said from the start I would sometimes talk about other things outside the scope of comics. But because I am dealing with issues and questions I will take a moment to give my comic book out look.

• I have not seen Spider-Man 3.
• I have not seen 300.
• I just heard that Captain America is dead, what happened? Piss off a black woman?
• The Sopranos sucks this year.
• Heroes is not so damn good that it can afford to be off the air for almost two months. Hey NBC, what were you thinking? Were you thinking that we would wait? Eh, NO! Not when All My Children comes on every single day. Good luck getting those ratings up!
• Denys Cowan is still pissed at me for the photograph that Mike Gold posted in my “friends” column.
• I love Harlan Ellison.
• In a fair fight I think I could take Hillary Clinton. Fair meaning no secret service men and she’s blindfolded.

Well, as we say in the hood, see you next week, same black time same black channel.

Wait. If it’s “black time,” I may be late.

Hollywood’s own Michael Davis is a comics creator and the founder of the Guardian Line series of comics as well as being a television producer and writer. He was a co-founder of Milestone Comics and his artwork has appeared in Wasteland, Green Arrow: Shado, Green Hornet and The Question, among others. Yes, we’re going to show him how to use the “comment” buttons.

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