Articles by michael-davis
Fri Oct 3, 2008 — by Michael Davis
The Needs Of The Many... yeah, right... by Michael Davis
Straight No Chaser
I’m not a joiner.
I’m too much of an asshole to belong to any organization. I have no patience for debates when it comes to making a decision. I hate focus groups and polls. I would rather live and die by my own choices without the benefit of a vote.
I know, I know. I told you I’m an asshole.
Just so I am very clear, when it comes to business I’m all about listening and being a team player unless what’s on the table is so asinine I have to speak up. When I say I’m not a joiner, I’m talking about organizations outside of the work place. Why my distain for “joining?”
One reason could be, when I was a kid, ten years old, my stepfather was having a drunken conversation with me. Yes, a drunken conversation with a ten year old. Look, DON’T YOU DARE JUDGE HIM! Listen, it WAS a weekday – what else was he supposed to do? Get a job? Take care of my sister and me? Let my mother quit one of her three jobs? Don’t be silly and for god’s sake give the man a break.
In his own slurred speech way he was telling me I should join the Boy Scous. Most times I would have known better that to give him a “Is you stupid” smartass come back.
Hey, in a black household you do not talk back to your parents. I’ve made this point before. Super Nanny and Nanny 911 feature NO black families. If I would have tried any of the antics those white kids get away with on the show, I would have been shot.
On this fateful day I forgot the rules of the black household…
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Fri Sep 26, 2008 — by Michael Davis
You Must Be Kidding Me, by Michael Davis
Straight No Chaser
I actually had a comic book article all ready to go this week. Then I turned on the news and heard that McCain wants to cancel tonight’s presidential debate to lend his hand to solving “our” financial problem.
You must be kidding me.
My Manhattan home is mere blocks from Wall Street. Trust me, its still WORLDS away to me. There’s a famous bronze bull that stands tall there. I swear that bull would come to life and chase me away like’s it a German Sheppard and it’s 1964.
“Ours,” my ass. Nope, this is all yours, G.O.P.
Oh, McCain is willing to make up tonight’s debate by substituting it for the vice presidential debate between Sarah Palin and Joe Biden, I guess so Palin will put down her shotgun and help save the country in this time of need.
Obama said he wants to have the debates stating that the county wants to hear from the two people who are running for President to see what they have to say on the subject. He also said a President will be called on to handle more than one thing at a time…duh.
I wonder why the G.O.P will not let reporters talk to Palin? Hey, Mr. Right, why the chuck won’t you let reporters talk to her? This woman will be half a heart beat (that’s right, half) from the most powerful job in the universe (except for mine) and she is being shielded like she’s radioactive.
I would not hire a baby sitter to sit with YOUR kids without talking to them. I can’t believe this. Why is there no OUTRAGE at this?? Remember McCain said “I can’t wait to unleash her on Washington!”
“Unleash her?” “UnLEASH her?” Oh, I forgot. Pit bull with lipstick.
Nope, more like pit bull shit. I have a pit bull; they are not afraid of anything. Palin hides behind her handlers like a scared puppy. I ask again, Mr. Right, why can’t we talk to the bitch? Hey, she called herself a dog; I’m just using the correct word for a female one… bitch.
When in the HISTORY of Presidential politics have the American people been denied access to their V.P. candidate?
Fri Sep 19, 2008 — by Michael Davis
Luck Be A Lady? No. Luck Be my Bitch. By Michael Davis
Straight No Chaser
I am not a lucky guy.
I have never won anything in my life. If I was the only one to enter a contest and the person in charge was my mother I would still lose. I went to Vegas once and hit the jackpot on a slot machine and it was voided because I was told the machine was “defective.” I was too young and stupid to raise a fuss.
That’s a true story.
I have faced death on more than one occasion and survived, but I don’t consider that lucky. I consider that a preview of what will happen one day soon. I have always felt I was living on borrowed time, but that is a story for another time. I have never found any money, or been picked at random for anything great because I was in the right place at the right time.
I have been held up at gun point, stabbed (twice), been arrested for walking to my car during a gang sweep WHILE wearing a chucking $2,000.00 suit I’m sure the cops assumed I was a member of the Bloods because my tie was red. These and a zillion other things have happened to me over the years.
What kind of luck is that?
As much crap as I talk about being from the projects and the sense of bravado and attitude I’m TOLD I project (thanks Russ), I’m a romantic at heart. Yep, I like a good chick flick every so often while drinking Tequila, cleaning my guns and being fed grapes one at a time by my Asian wife and my girlfriend while my six underage kids work to support me and my drug habit because all REAL men live like that. OK, that’s not all true…there are seven kids, but one is really ugly and I don’t think it’s mine.
Short story. Once, around twenty years ago I was sitting on a subway train when I caught the eye of a strikingly beautiful woman. She was Latino and made Angelina Jolie look like a crack whore who was just run over by a train, no, 20 trains, one after another.
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Fri Sep 12, 2008 — by Michael Davis
Lipstick Jungle Fever, by Michael Davis
Straight No Chaser
I’m in Mexico. I hate it here.Next week I have to be in Japan and I will most likely hate it there also. Why do I hate it here in Mexico? Well, beside the fact that my ability to get on the Internet is hit or miss and I may have to send this column in is by re-writing it from on one of those “Internet café” computers – better known as “suck the money from the American assholes” – there is the massive attack on my very being to buy a damn timeshare.
From the moment I stepped off the plane I was harassed like a freshman pledge during Hell Week. I was offered everything from free meals to cold hard cash just to “come to a short presentation.” Telling these people I was here on business did nothing to stop their assault. I could have been shot in the head and they would have asked me if I wanted to stop to take a look at some timeshare property on the way to the hospital.
Why will I hate it in Japan next week? Because I hate to travel and I hate being in any country where I know they hide some resentment to America. I know that some people in Mexico and Japan have issues with us. From what I see when I look around Mexico the people are friendly and helpful…but every so often I see daggers in their eyes. I was told the average wage here was six dollars a day.
We spend that much on a cup of coffee from Starbucks.
I don’t think that’s why some people here hate us. I think they hate us because of malls.
Yeah, I said malls. I needed to buy some stuff so I went to a mall. I’m thinking that at six bucks a day as a living wage there should be some great bargains at the mall. The mall I went to was no bargain, in fact it was crazy expensive.
Then I realized something. Those malls in Mexico are not for the Mexicans.
So here I sit in a country where most people make six dollars a day and I’m sure they hate me. I’m even surer that they think that Americans are idiots. We live in the richest country in the world and the two candidates are not talking about terrorism, or nuclear weapons or oil prices. No, they are talking about lipstick.
Fri Aug 29, 2008 — by Michael Davis
If You're Not There, You Just Won't Get It - Conclusion, by Michael Davis
Straight No Chaser
This is the last segment in this month long saga. If you are anything like me, you are sick of this. I mean four weeks of me reliving history is a bit much even for a guy who LOVES history. To that point, all I watch on TV is All My Children (the greatest show ever!), news, and The History Channel. I don’t even watch the shows I write or have created. I’m not kidding. I have never watched an episode of any show that I have been involved in.
I love history and I thought when I started writing this it would fill me with a wonderful sense of nostalgia.
Don’t get me wrong, Milestone is and will always be a BIG part of my life and career and I’m very happy to clear up some misconceptions about Milestone… particularly my involvement. Take a look at the previous installments to read about some of those misconceptions surrounding Milestone, Christopher Priest and DC’s “ownership” to name but a few.
Here’s my BIGGEST problem and the misconception that burns me to this day. There have been many, MANY articles and or books that have featured Milestone. A lot of them have said that I left Milestone quick, fast and in a hurry.
That, like the promise that Bush would be a good president, was a compete and utter lie. There’s more truth in the belief that the world is flat and women in L.A. don’t care about what you drive.
I was there the moment Milestone was created. I did not leave until two and an half YEARS after that. The writer Les Daniels (who’s books I enjoy, by the way) wrote in his book, DC Comics Sixty Years Of The World’s Favorite Comic Book Heroes (1995) “A fourth partner, Michael Davis, quickly left to run Motown Animation.”
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Fri Aug 22, 2008 — by Michael Davis
If You're Not There, You Just Won't Get It, Part 3, by Michael Davis
Straight No Chaser
This is part three of my Milestone Media story I began two weeks ago. If you are reading this segment first, please read the other two installments, not so much for background but so I don’t look like a complete moron.
On a faithful day I walked into a Milestone meeting and was met with a pointed finger and this statement directed at me. “I cannot work with this man.”
Now there are those in the industry who see me as overrated, lucky or a con artist. That’s partly because my public persona is over the top. I tend not to explain a lot about how I do stuff, I just do it. I have never been one to share information about details on certain aspects of my business. Let me try and clarify what that means: if you invite me to a party and I say no, that’s all you are getting. You are not getting a detailed description why I’m not going or what else I may be doing or instead of going to your party. To me no just means no. It does not mean that you are a bad person, it does not mean I am. It just means no. Look; I just don’t pay attention or care about what or why anyone does anything.
I never ask personal questions when I get a no. I don’t care why you make a decision; it’s your decision. I have no right to expect an explanation from you unless it affects me in some way that matters to me. I was that way in 1991. I’m still that way in 2008 but I’m less hardcore about it.
So when a Milestone member pointed his finger at me and said “I cannot work with this man.” My first reaction was anger. I knew what I was doing to build Milestone and resented the fact that I was being put on the spot with this bullshit. I thought at the time it was all motivated by my personality, and some of it was. In retrospect I realize another part of the issue with me at the time was my methods and how I did things. The meeting went on for a while and became heated.
Wait a sec.
Continue reading If You're Not There, You Just Won't Get It, Part 3, by Michael Davis ›
Fri Aug 15, 2008 — by Michael Davis
If You're Not There, You Just Won't Get It, Part 2, by Michael Davis
Straight No Chaser
This is part two of the Milestone Media story I began last week. What follows is a brief overview of last’s week article.
Read last week's article. End of overview.
Denys Cowan, Christopher Priest, Dwayne McDuffie, Derrick Dingle and myself started meeting about building Milestone a few days after Denys rallied the troops. I remember that Priest was a freakin dynamo! This guy would show up with reams of information at every meeting. He was also very inpatient, if we were stalled on something Priest would present a variety of different ways something could work, just to move the process along.
I loved his energy. I loved how he saw the importance in every detail and even when we butted heads (which was often) I respected his point of view. Dwayne wanted to make sure that our books were the best they could be. He stressed professionalism and excellence over everything. He dismissed with respect what was being done in comics then as “What they are doing. Not what we should do.” Derrick was all about the business; he wanted to make sure that we were protected and smart about our business plan. Denys was focused on the magnitude of Milestone – what we could be and our sense of history. Me? I wanted to make sure that we brought new talent into the industry that included people of color.
Yes, Derrick wanted the business to work on a grand scale. Dwayne wanted excellence in everything we did. Denys to make history. Priest to create a dynasty. I wanted to find talent that could make Milestone the absolute best place to be. All of these made up Milestone. Notice that none of these objectives had anything to do with keeping the company black or excluding anybody with regards to race. Shit, we were too busy trying to make this a GREAT company to worry about it being a black company.
Oh, and there was a non-black member (although unofficial) to Milestone. Her name was Chantal d’Aulnis. Chantal was a V.P. at DC Comics and a friend who gave us invaluable advice in the beginning. No, she did not create any characters, or write any (creative) bibles, her advice was along the lines of. “Look at the way that deal was done.” Or “Maybe you should ask that question of so and so.”
This was important because she gave us a matter-of-fact look at who we were. One of the BIG misconceptions about Milestone is that we were owned, created by or part of DC Comics. Over the years we have tried to answer that clearly but somehow it never quite took, so I’ll try and say it clearly here. MILESTONE WAS NEVER OWNED OR CREATED BY DC COMICS.
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Fri Aug 8, 2008 — by Michael Davis
Milestone: If You're Not There, You Just Won't Get It, by Michael Davis
Straight No Chaser
Denys Cowan and I were hanging out watching the crowds inside the convention center at the San Diego Comic Con. It’s 1991. As we walked the floor we were kidding around as always. Kidding around and looking at girls. Hey, that’s what we did when we walked the floor at conventions. We joked and looked at girls. We tried looking at guys but we both agreed that made us look pretty… gay.
We were having a pretty good time when Denys got quiet. I thought it was because of this real fine Asian girl we were looking at. Denys turned to me and said “We should start a comic book company that will create some characters of color.” I said, “That’s the stupidest idea I have ever heard. Will you look at that girl?” Denys did not look. That’s when I realized that he was being serious. I said “That’s a great idea.” After that we spent most of the rest of that day and evening talking about what the company could be and whom we should include. This is the first time I have really talked about Milestone outside of a VERY few interviews over the last 15 years. Milestone is the story of five – that’s right FIVE black creators and we all have a story tell.
Denys and I spent the rest of that day and evening talking about what the company could be and whom we should include. In 1991 there were ample black creators we could have included but we wanted to make sure we got this right. It’s important to note that we were not trying to be exclusive by only inviting black creators – we wanted to create black superheroes and wanted to do so with black creators first. If you really look at Milestone you will soon realize that we were never a black company, we were a black owned company. In truth we were a true multicultural company that counted among our talent many, many different races. We went out of our way to include talent from many different walks of life.
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Fri Aug 1, 2008 — by Michael Davis
The Day The Earth Moved, by Michael Davis
Straight No Chaser
I had a particularly bad day after the San Diego Comic Con was over. I don’t feel like sharing nor do I feel like writing about it. There are times when I don’t trust myself with my Mac and I fear whatever I write at those times would come back to haunt me. It’s like they say, never go shopping for food when you are hungry. I’ve done that and come home with 60 boxes of Twinkies.
I will allow myself to write when I’m mad about some injustice or something stupid, but when I’m sad or remorseful I’d rather just go with something I have in the can. When I first got the ComicMix gig I wrote a bunch of random articles to be used in case I was on vacation, sick or in case I had to deal with something on a personal level that required my time.
So, yesterday there was an earthquake that hit 5.4 on the Richter scale here in Los Angeles. What follows is a now-timely piece I wrote over a year ago when Mike Gold first offered me the ComicMix gig…
Why in the Hell do I live in Los Angeles? I hate it here. I hate the restaurants, I hate the fake people, I hate the what do you do and how much do you make and what car do you drive mentality that seems to resonate in this city. I hate the fact that I joined a gym like a sheep and almost never went. What an idiot I am!
Me, Michael Davis, joining a goddamn gym?? AHHHHHH!! Why the Hell would I join a gym?? I’ll admit it I joined because everyone in L.A. belongs to a gym. I wanted to belong as well.
What the FISH was I thinking? I’m not in shape? Hell yeah I am, ROUND is a shape!
I don’t need a damn gym. If I want exercise I can simply do what any black man does in Los Angeles… run from the police.
When I realized that I was becoming like the very sheep I hated, I quit the gym. In the year I belonged I went MAYBE five times.
Some people think that the weather is what makes people stay in L.A. Let me tell you something: where I live, the temperature hit 116 last summer. It was SO HOT that my dogs don’t want to go outside. They said to me (YES, they actually SPOKE) “Let us use the bathroom inside. We will leave the seat down, we promise… woof.”
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Fri Jul 18, 2008 — by Michael Davis
Fae Desmond Saves The World, by Michael Davis
Straight No Chaser
Europe was gone.
England put up a gallant fight but was no match for his power. France did not put up much of a fight. The closest they came to a confrontation was a giant banner that said “Please Don’t Eat Us.” The Middle East was a wasteland. Most of the United States was destroyed but still fighting.
Fighting…Galactus! Galactus the world eater!
July 23, 2008, all the superheroes were dead or dying. Marvel’s best, DC’s finest and the greatest of Dark Horse and Image. All dead. When Galactus first appeared decades ago Reed Richards, Mr. Fantastic of the famed Fantastic Four, had figured out a way to stop Galactus from destroying Earth. It was the first time Galactus had ever been stopped.
When Richards first heard Galactus’ ship was over Europe before the rampage, he and the Fantastic Four flew the Fantasticar out to confront him. Mr. Fantastic would calmly approach him secure in the knowledge that Galactus would keep his word not to destroy the earth. Reed Richards was so sure of that word that when they had first met he had handed over the only weapon that could destroy Galactus, The Ultimate Nullifier.
He handed it over to… Galactus. Reed Richards, Mr. Fantastic, one of the smartest men in the world... freakin' idiot.
The Human Torch flew beside the jet vehicle as always making wisecracks the entire way. The entire trip was filled with laughter and in fact the foursome had decided to take a few days in Europe after they saw what Galactus was up to.
“Most likely he just wants me to find him a world to eat that tastes like chicken.” Richards joked.
When they approached Galactus Richards said “Why are you here, old friend?” Galactus standing over 200 feet tall stared down at Richards in the hovering Fantasticar. “I am not your friend,” The booming voice of Galactus responded.
“Why are you upset with me?” Richards said, now starting to worry.
“Look, Richards this is the deal, I’m here to eat your world.”
The Invisible Woman turned to The Thing, “That does not sound like Galactus!” “You’re right, Susie!” The Thing said and then yelled at Galactus. “Hey big man, why are you going back on your word?”
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Fri Jun 27, 2008 — by Michael Davis
What Happens In Vegas... Sucks, by Michael Davis
Straight No Chaser
What many of my readers don’t know is – I’m an artist, trained at some of the finest art schools in the country. I’m also an educator, having written curricula for an art school and created reading programs for high interest low-level students grades four to six. I have quite a few proclamations from various cities for my educational work and my mentor program. I even have part of a school campus named after me.
I’m not telling you this to impress you, but to impress upon you that I know a wee bit about the arts.
Education and training aside, I belong to the “I know what I like club.” I truly believe that art is in the eye of the beholder. I don’t care how big the artist is, I’m not jumping on the bandwagon because his or her last painting sold for a zillion dollars. As an example, take the artist David Hockney. I don’t like his work but I respect the career he has built for himself.
I also think that Thomas Kinkade is the luckiest man on earth. I much prefer and miss Bob Ross and his “happy little trees.” For my money, his “happy little trees” pimp slap anything done by either Hockney or Kinkade. That may be because I just liked him as a man and that translated into why I like his work so much. Truth be told, his work was more of a gimmick – but I don’t care: I like what I like. Hockney or Kinkade are huge successes and deserve to be. They create the art and let it speak for itself. Critics love it or hate it, people buy it or they don’t.
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Fri Jun 13, 2008 — by Michael Davis
The Walk Of Fame, by Michael Davis
Straight No Chaser
Whenever I meet a celebrity, I say one of two things: either Can I have some money? or Black people love you. Which one depends on the star. When I met Al Sharpton it would not have been cool to say black people love you… because they don’t.
I’m kidding. It’s just much more fun to say black people love you to someone who’s not black. The looks on their faces are mostly priceless… mostly. I work in television and have the opportunity to meet a bunch of Hollywood types – actors, directors and producers. When I meet someone on business I’m not quite the knucklehead I am when I meet someone at a party or some other random place.
I’m always interested in what people who don’t work in the industry think of celebrities. If you read my column regularly you know I’m hard on some Hollywood stars and their behavior. So I thought I would take the time to give you a few of my many positive encounters.
The first time I ever took a drink I was in the ninth grade and I was trying to be cool. My friend Earl and I were going to a party and we each had a bottle of really cheap wine. Earl had a bottle of Wild Irish Rose and I had a bottle of MD2020. That’s short for Mad Dog. How did two 13 years old kids get their hands on those bottles of wine? We went in and gave the clerk money, that’s how.
What about ID’s?
Fri May 2, 2008 — by Michael Davis
Sound Bites For Dummies, by Michael Davis
Straight No Chaser #64
"Every time I think I’m out they drag me back in!”
Al Pacino. Godfather 3
I had another article all ready to go. A lighthearted article about how I really loved comic books and how proud I am that I work in this industry on so many levels. I did not want to write another article on race, but thanks to Jeremiah Wright here I go again…
Some time ago I was given a gift certificate to The Burke Williams Spa. For those of you who don’t know, it’s an upscale health resort. Those who know me know that the last thing I’m about is anything “up scale.” I like simple. “Upscale” to me means a bunch of people who think they have a right to look down on other people. I know that’s a wide net to cast, but that’s how I feel. So when I got the gift certificate I was a little hesitant to go but man was I in a bad way and I really needed a massage. The gift certificate was for a massage and a milk bath…A MILK bath.
Look, I’m a MAN from the projects and a milk bath should have made me very uneasy, but truth be told it sounded so good. So I put my reservations on hold and made my way to Burke Williams. When I arrived I notice that the spa was staffed with women.
Beautiful women. Tall, shapely, sexy women.
When I checked in at the front desk I’m asked if I want a man or a women for my massage I say “woman,” thinking about all he foxes that are floating around. The receptionist looked at me strange, so much so I said “What?” I was starting to feel like this was exactly why I did not want to go to an upscale establishment. I’m a pretty simple guy. I like things simple. I hate interaction with people when my goal is to do something else. As an example when I walk into a Starbucks I just want a cup of coffee. I don’t want to buy a CD; I don’t want to hear about the new Booty juice latte, just give me my damn coffee. In fact if I walk in and there are more than two people on line, I walk out. BTW, I like my coffee the way I like my women…with soy sauce.
Continue reading Sound Bites For Dummies, by Michael Davis ›
Fri Mar 28, 2008 — by Michael Davis
The Story Of O 2 (kinda), by Michael Davis
Straight, No Chaser #59
In my ever increasing attempt to break the mold, I am giving my fateful readers not one but one and a half columns today!
Last week’s The Story of O about a young man I mentored who attacked me with horrible career ending voice mail and text messages resulted in a wee bit of a stir. That article received a LOT of interest and some people have called me and asked me where ‘O’ and I stand now.
Well O still does not grasp the impact of what he did. His last text told me that he pitied me. Yep, I tried to help him and it did not work out so I’m the bad guy…pity. Well, I am done dealing with it. I realize that some people just don’t get it when you try and help them so I’m done.
Hey, wait! My birthday is coming up! I think I’ll give myself a pity party on the grounds of my VAST estate I built on the back of former students I mentored who I have never taken a dime from.
Mike Gold was my comics’ mentor when I started doing work for DC. I lost a HUGE job because DC did not like the work I was doing. Mike was the person who helped me get that job. I remember vividly getting the call that I was off the project because of what I did.
I walked into Mike’s office and called him all sort of names. I also turned Mike’s desk over then took out a Mac 10 and set my sites on him and then the rest of DC editorial for the first comic book company blood bath in history. Mike ducked under his desk as I fired my first shots barely missing his head.
Continue reading The Story Of O 2 (kinda), by Michael Davis ›
Fri Feb 22, 2008 — by Michael Davis
I’m Mad As Hell, by Michael Davis
Straight, No Chaser #54
I like to laugh. I see humor in most everything. Most people meet me and assume because of my wicked sense of humor I must have lived a charmed life. 